Lily's Charm

1996

Harry just stopped short of pushing the door hard enough to slam it. He caught it against the tips of his fingers so that it only closed with a dull sort of splat. What the hell was he doing anyway, having a tantrum like a four year old? But he'd earned this, hadn't he? He fumed silently as he paced in front of his bed, a nervous habit he'd only just realized he'd picked up somewhere.

And just what the hell did his dad think he was doing? Hadn't he let his fear rule him to the point of destruction enough times? Did his father honestly think he was just going to run away? For five years, he'd been stalked by Voldemort and not once had he run. He wasn't likely to start now. Who cared that it was a risk to try to activate the Charm? Hadn't Severus even noticed that he cared little for risks?

Of course he'd noticed! And what other choice was there anyway? Walking around with Voldemort inside him? With another burst of anger, Harry threw himself on his bed, nearly sitting on his mum's photo album, where he'd set it this morning. With an agitated jerk, he pulled the heavy book up, intending to toss it unceremoniously up on his little table. He sighed. His Pensieve...no James' Pensieve he corrected himself was still sitting there. He'd meant to ask his dad about it several times over the past few days, but he'd always stopped himself, thinking about the expression on his dad's face when he discovered that it had been James who had left him the memories.

And Harry had to admit, he was still shocked at the development. He, just like Remus, hadn't realized that James and Severus could have actually been friends. It was just too strange. If only James had managed to deliver the Pensieve, none of them would even be in this mess. How long were circumstances going to conspire against them? And how long was his father going to be stuck in denial?

With another angry tug, Harry wrenched the album open, not really wanting to look through the pictures since usually they filled him with a kind of elusive comfort, but not tonight. He stared at James and his father, blinking up at him from the page and he frowned at them. Why hadn't Severus just waited? If he could have just trusted them...

He opened page after page, his jaw clenching in ever increasing fury with each new photo. His mum had been happy. Even James had seemed happy. His younger self had been happy as well. How could his father have been so blind?

But the next page made Harry's anger still. Severus was cradling Harry's younger self and he was smiling. Actually smiling, his lips curved up in a spontaneous and delighted smile as he gazed down at his son.

Before he could stop the convulsive movement, Harry's fingers scrabbled against the photo, his anger and grief forcing the photo to rip noisily from the page. Harry bunched the entire page up in his other fist, flinging the album from him again.

His father had already lost him once.

Of course he was terrified and all at once, Harry knew. He understood what his father was feeling. That memory of his fear for his father's life on Halloween was still raw, the gaping hole not yet filled. How could he have been such a prat, going on about people making choices for him? Why wouldn't his father want to make this choice for him?

What did he expect his dad to do? Watch with indifference as his son strolled up to Voldemort and asked him lazily to cast the Killing Curse on him?

Harry had meant it when he told Malfoy he would do anything to save his father. And his father would feel the same. What was wrong with him, carrying on about being sick of everything?

They had to try the Charm. They had to but even as Harry sat there, staring at the photo of his rarely-smiling father, a sob choked up in his throat. Because he knew, no matter how much it would destroy his father, he wouldn't give up; he wouldn't run from this. If Severus refused to try the Charm, Harry would still face Voldemort.

Of their own accord, Harry's fingers clutched around the edges of the picture as his vision blurred with his tears. It was selfish--he knew it was...to leave his father again. He hadn't had a choice fifteen years ago. But no, there was no choice here either. Even if he wanted to run, he finally understood the prophecy as he sat there, trying to see the picture of his dad's smile through his tears. His heart quickened with dread. Voldemort would come for him, no matter where he was. He was certain of it.

--

Harry watched through the near-darkness, as James pleaded with Severus to come back home. He stayed very still, unsure if his father would be embarrassed to know that he had listened to almost the entire message, having woken up just as James started talking. But as he heard the sob, his earlier pain increased again and Harry began to tremble, his eyes filling with tears. He remembered how stupid he'd been, how thoughtless he'd been. He'd paid no attention to the way his father was feeling, and he knew it would make no difference if his dad knew he had been listening--not when his father was standing there like that; Harry could see him shaking.

"Dad?" he questioned, his voice rough with his fresh tears as he moved quickly toward the edge of the bed.

Severus looked up and the grief there was too much. Harry went to him and without even letting him get close enough, his dad pulled him into his arms. Harry wrapped his arms around his father, holding him tight, trying desperately to leech away the man's pain. The harsh sob sounded again and Harry could feel his dad's shaking now. Harry knew without looking up that his father was crying.

He kept his face pressed into Severus' shoulder, not daring to look up--he didn't want to see the tears. They terrified him. This was something much more than a simple fear that Harry's life might be in danger. They had always known that was a possibility. It was something else now--something sinister and irreconcilable. But Harry wouldn't ask. He didn't want to know.

He could remain blissfully unaware of whatever had brought his father to such a state.

So he focused on the tangible, on the things that swirled though his mind, no matter how pointless they were. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. Before Severus could question him, he added, "For shouting at you."

"It is all right," Severus assured him immediately as his calloused hand moved up to Harry's head, cupping it against his palm. His voice was rough from his tears.

"No, it's not," Harry disagreed. "I was being selfish." He shook his head, as much as he could, with his cheek pressed into the black fabric. "I didn't even consider what this would be like for you..." he whispered. The fingers against his head brushed through his hair.

"Do not concern yourself with me," Severus chided him gently. Harry pulled his head away from the black fabric, frowning fiercely.

"Of course I'll worry about you," he said in objection. How daft could his father be? "If we could just try the Charm..." he ventured tentatively but Severus stopped him immediately.

"The Charm will not help," he said quietly. Harry started to pull away, but his father's arms were unmovable. "Voldemort's soul is buried within your own, Harry," he explained, his voice going even softer, "and if we activate the Charm, your soul will be banished with his."

The whispered pain caused Harry's fingers to flinch against his father's robes, grabbing for purchase as Harry felt himself reeling.

"But you can bring me back," he tried to argue. "Just like I brought you." But he could feel his father shaking his head before he could even finish.

"I do not believe it be would be the same," he told him, his voice rough again. "Voldemort pushed me to leave this world, but it was my own choice. I thought I was dying and I went willingly. We would not be giving Voldemort a choice."

"But maybe the part of him in me wouldn't be strong enough." And again his father was shaking his head, though his time, the arms brought him closer. He'd already thought of this as well...of everything it seemed.

"The Charm has to be strong enough, with so much force that Voldemort will not have a chance...not even an instant to fight it." His father drew in a racking breath. "I'm sorry, Harry."

Sorry. His father was apologizing. Not even he could stop this.

That was it then. It was over.

He didn't even realize he was crying, shaking with his tears, until he heard Severus soothing, "Shh, Harry." Just as he'd done when Remus was in the hospital wing, but this sound was different. It was full of desperation and Harry suddenly felt very cold. It was as though a Dementor had entered the room; he couldn't feel anything but despair, both his father's and his own. It was suffocating him.

He yanked himself away, gasping in a huge drowning gulp of air. He dug his fingers into his thighs, as he bent over his knees. No! He shook his head dizzily, trying to breathe deeply, but only the shallowest of breaths was released. The world was darkening around him. And then familiar hands were taking hold of his shoulders, imparting their strength and Harry's breaths slowed...calmed again. He drew in a deep breath and slowly unbent himself so that he was looking at his father.

Harry stared, trying to figure out what he had to stay. The hands squeezed against his shoulders and Harry drew another breath. "I can't run away," he said quietly. Before the explosion could follow, Harry rushed on, almost incoherently, "I'm sorry if you don't understand that but I have to do this even if-"

His father firmed his hands against his shoulder and moved him gently to sit on the bed. The arms held him tightly, though it was as if his hands weren't there at all. Severus' eyes were filled with deep determination; the pain remained. "I know, Harry," he assured him quietly. Harry blinked. He knew? His father's face tightened as he nodded. "But you will not do anything on your own," he said firmly, his words a mere whisper in the darkened room. And Harry wanted to protest. He had to protest. He couldn't run from this; why couldn't his father understand that?

"Whatever you choose," Severus interrupted his thoughts, and Harry's stomach went into fits at that way his dad's voice cracked over the words. "I will be there with you." Harry remembered the promise his father had made. In another life. Nodding, Severus took Harry's face into his hands, pressing his cheeks gently between his roughened fingers to emphasize the impossible words. 'We will go through this together, Harry."

--

Because, Severus added silently, but even more fervently, I will not allow you to go alone. Not to Voldemort and not beyond the veil. Whatever Severus had to do, he would ensure that the journey of Harry's soul took a separate path from Voldemort's. He would guide Harry to where he belonged. The bastard would not have his son, not even in death. Especially not in death. He had taken enough.

Harry's eyes swam again with tears. "I'm sorry," he croaked. "I'm sorry I'll have to leave you," he gasped between his trapped cheeks. Severus shook his head, unable to listen to Harry's apologies.

"I will be fine," he lied, though he knew there was virtually no hope that Harry would believe him. It was a terribly unconvincing lie. And Harry didn't nod; he just sat, letting Severus hold on to him. They both knew that Severus wouldn't survive this. But only Severus knew that his own destruction would be by his own hand.

"Lupin is still here," he finally said, hoping to distract Harry. Harry nodded, sniffing a little to relieve the pressure of the tears still in his eyes. Severus took his hands from Harry's face. He stood, collecting Harry's glasses from the table and handed them to Harry. He gestured for Harry to follow him. Harry obeyed immediately, standing and falling in step beside him. They walked past the sitting room, where Lupin was hunched over in his chair.

Severus ignored the pang in his chest at the sight, continuing purposefully to the washroom. He dampened a cloth and handed it, carefully folded into thirds, to his son. Harry took it and pressed it up against his eyes, pushing his glasses up to his forehead.

They stood that way for several long moments, Harry's head bowed over his cloth and Severus silently watching. How many more times would he get to watch his son doing something so trivial? Nothing was trivial anymore...

"Thanks," Harry murmured suddenly, straightening up once more. Severus nodded, taking the cloth and banishing it to the house-elves. Harry sighed deeply, his shoulders sagging as he turned for the sitting room. Severus walked close by his side.

Lupin's head came up as they entered, and Severus could hear a slight snuffling sound. He forced his irritation down, hoping Harry hadn't noticed the other's man's emotional display. Harry didn't need to see Lupin's anguish. Lupin though, looked perfectly composed as he stood and turned around, the only evidence of his grief were his eyes, ringed in bright red.

But before any of them could break the awkward silence, the door announced visitors. Harry glanced up to Severus, looking apprehensive. Severus gentled his flame, sending warmth to his son and though Harry relaxed a measure, his face remained pinched with unease. Severus fought down the urge again to simply bundle him up and whisk him away to Highlands Cottage, or better--somewhere even more remote. Where no one would ever find them....

Both Harry and Lupin were watching him and with a silent curse, he realized he was staring like a fool at the door. Keeping his face passive, he went to the door and pulled it open. Minerva's stern face stared up at him. He'd known, of course, that it was Minerva but somehow, he still felt surprised. Especially as there were two Weasleys and a Granger standing just to the right of the Deputy Headmistress. The quartet of faces relaxed as they looked him over.

"Good evening, Severus," Minerva greeted, sounding vastly relieved. She gestured toward the children beside her. "Albus assured them that you were fine, but they insisted." Her voice was tight; it sounded barely controlled. But Severus ignored the ill-concealed emotion to stare, without expression, at his son's friends. Ginny stepped forward, her forehead creased with worry.

"We know Harry's not supposed to have visitors, sir," she began quietly. Severus stared at her in confusion before it came back to him that Harry was supposed to serving his punishment--the word made him feel ill...and the entire episode with Pinth seemed like a lifetime ago.

"But he left so quickly from the common room. And he asked us to find the Headmaster. He seemed panicked, and we were worried..." She trailed off, likely due to Severus' immediately narrowed eyes.

He had not even questioned Harry's sudden appearance earlier in their quarters as anything out of the ordinary. He had not meant to allow Harry to feel his concern... Putting the frivolous recriminations aside, Severus stepped aside, gesturing for Harry's friends and Minerva to enter.

The three students looked shocked, obviously stunned that Severus was ignoring his restriction on visitors for Harry. But of course they had no idea that none of that mattered anymore. What was the point of attempting to give Harry a normal childhood, when it was all about to end? Forcing his teeth to cease in their grinding motions, Severus turned back to face the room full of people.

Harry was watching him, ignoring everyone else, and Severus could feel the subtle flexing of the storm's tendril against his flames. Harry was attempting to talk to him. Severus, feeling almost desperate for his son to reach proficiency in this insignificant endeavor, gathered his flames to pull against the puff, trying to coax the smoky wisp's thoughts from the storm. He could feel his son's desperation as well, and the tiny cloud grew dark. Tell them? it spat out, sputtering with dying thunder as the flames caught the last of the question. Harry, looking startled, stared at him.

Severus calmly projected his thoughts outward. They cannot know about your mother's Charm, but whatever else you wish to tell them, you may, his flame reassured. Harry continued to stare at him for a moment, his eyes shaded. Then his shoulders sagged as he turned back to look at his friends. Severus felt an immediate flush of guilt. Obviously Harry didn't want to make such a decision on his own. But before he could add any instructions for his flames to deliver, Weasley was moving toward Harry.

"Professor McGonagall said I could skip my detention," he told Harry quietly as though he was trying to keep it a secret between them; he failed miserably. Harry nodded dully, not really paying attention.

Minerva frowned slightly, directing her gaze to Severus. "I thought that under the circumstances..." Severus fought the urge to close his eyes in resignation. She knew. The overly-obvious realization did not encourage him.

Ms. Granger's keen eyes sharpened, her eyes going back and forth between Severus and Harry. Harry turned away from her a little, moving to sit heavily on the sofa. Ginny looked curiously at Harry as well, and then narrowed her eyes a bit as she returned her gaze to Severus.

"Are you all right now, Professor?" she asked, her voice full of concern. Severus nodded, making sure his face gave away nothing. It was obvious that both she and Ms. Granger wanted to ask what had happened but apparently not even Molly Weasley's daughter was that brave. She finally turned back to Harry, but he had busied himself studying the pattern in his pajamas, determinedly not looking at the girl.

As Severus watched his son, he wondered what time it actually was. He found himself with the pointless hope that Harry wouldn't realize that it was much too early to already be dressed for bed. Severus hadn't even realized how anxious he'd been to put this night behind him when he'd effectively tucked Harry in for the night. A sharp pang tugged at him. How many more times would he be granted such an opportunity? Though Harry was entirely too old for such a ritual...

"Severus?"

Severus, without visibly doing so, started at his name. All eyes were on him...except Harry's. Harry was still studying the dark maroon material covering his legs, his forefinger moving to trace the random gold pattern. It was idle movement and yet it was deliberate...

"Severus?"

And again, the Potions Master came back to himself. Stilling the scowl at the constant interruptions, he intoned, "My apologies, Minerva."

Minerva blinked twice, nodding her head slowly before saying, most likely for at least the second time, "The Headmaster asked me to tell you that he will be available to speak to you, at your leisure." The wording was odd, as was the way Minerva was looking at him. Looking for something, though Severus couldn't be certain exactly what it was that she was expecting to find.

Severus inclined his head in acceptance of her message, and after only a slight hesitation, she mimicked the gesture. Then she turned to address Lupin. "If you cannot escort-"

But as she spoke, Harry looked up sharply, hooking Severus' gaze. Again, the tendril panted in exhaustion against his roaring flames. Severus felt the negation more than heard it. He turned abruptly back to Minerva, stilling her request.

"Harry is not feeling well enough for an extended visit," he lied smoothly. All three of his friends opened their mouths to protest, but a glare from Severus silenced them.

Ginny turned to Harry with concern. "Will you be in class tomorrow?" she asked, her eyes darkening with worry.

Harry's face looked instantly like it would crumple at the innocent question and Severus intervened again. "Yes." Another lie.

Taking the ensuing silence as it was meant, Minerva made gathering motions toward the three Gryffindors. "Come along. You can see Harry tomorrow," she assured them firmly as they all looked about to ignore her instructions, even Ms. Granger...especially Ms. Granger. She was studying Harry and Remus carefully, no doubt gathering evidence before she followed Minerva.

Weasley looked around the room nervously before stuffing his hands into his pockets and offering, "If you need us, mate..." He trailed off when Harry didn't even acknowledge that he had spoken. Weasley turned away, looking distinctly anxious.

Ginny's eyes were only for Harry. But she didn't say anything else before she turned and silently followed her brother and Ms. Granger out. After the door was firmly closed behind them, Severus turned to his son. He'd gathered his knees in his arms, balling himself into the corner of Lily's sofa. Severus felt as though he was made of lead. Harry had so much more to lose than Severus ever would have had...

"Shall I get us something to eat?" Lupin asked and though Severus didn't turn to him, he could sense the man's nervous fidgets and so he nodded, trying to give his son's friend something to do to occupy him mind.

He heard Lupin moving toward the Floo. Severus sat tentatively on the sofa next to Harry, turning slightly so that he could see him more easily. The only sign that Harry was aware of him were the fingers that twitched against his thighs.

Again silence dominated the room, interrupted only by the arrival of food from the kitchens and Lupin's distracted movements at the table.

"I can't tell them," Harry uttered so quietly, Severus wouldn't have known he was speaking had he not been concentrating so hard on willing Harry to say something. The words were accompanied by a clap of guilt against Severus' flames. Severus stopped the frown just as it almost found purchase.

"You may find-" he began, but Harry shook his head, the grief pouring from him, making Severus feel dizzy. Severus ignored his quaking emotions and laid a hand on Harry's to still the increasingly erratic motions against the fabric. "They may be able to offer you a measure of comfort." Harry swallowed. Not sure why it should matter, Severus added, "Ginny will want to understand."

Harry's fingers curled into a fist, wrapping Severus' fingers in his own without meaning to. Severus squeezed automatically and Harry's eyes closed, the pulse of pain growing stronger now. After more silence, Harry nodded. So much to lose...

Perhaps if they could destroy enough of the Horcruxes, then he might be strong enough to bring Harry's soul along with his own. If the other pieces could be separated first, flung away to whatever sort of hell in which they inevitably belonged, Severus would find a way to snatch Harry's soul from Voldemort's unsuspecting grasp. They could both be with Lily again. James would have to be there somewhere and Harry could even see Black, though of course Severus could do without that particular reunion...

"Severus?"

Severus, pulling himself from his calming musings, looked over to Lupin. But he shook his head at the invitation to eat. Lupin, looking relieved, though vaguely lost without further aimless tasks to occupy him, paused briefly before coming back over to the sitting area.

Severus continued to watch his son as the plans solidified themselves in his mind. Unfortunately he would require the Headmaster's assistance; it couldn't be helped. But he was prepared to use the old man as much as necessary to achieve this particular goal. Of course, he would not be able to share his plans. Albus would certainly not approve. Even Lupin would likely have an objection...though his help might prove useful, if done in the right way...

But Harry...Harry would be furious. Yes, best to simply keep the particulars to himself and perhaps find a way to manipulate Lupin. Surely he would be easy to persuade...

"Aren't you supposed to see Tonks tonight?"

Severus re-focused on his son. Harry's fingers were still wound around his own and his green eyes were still stormy, but at least they were open now. And apparently asking for what he considered a vital piece of information. Lupin's cheeks darkened. Severus narrowed his eyes, looking swiftly between them. Lupin seemed to be studiously avoiding Severus' eyes.

"I sent her word that I wouldn't be able to see her tonight," he said carefully. Harry frowned at him. Lupin smiled sadly at him and some sort of understanding dawned amongst the emerald storm.

"You should tell her," Harry told Lupin quietly, breaking the stillness, his eyes blanking again as he guarded himself from everything. "Not about the Charm," he clarified shortly, "but enough so she'll understand." Harry's jaw tensed as he watched his friend.

Lupin swallowed thickly. He didn't respond either way and after a moment, Harry closed his eyes again. Severus stifled his irritation that something had passed between Lupin and his son, something that Severus was apparently not allowed to know. He narrowed his eyes slightly as he studied the werewolf. Lupin didn't seem to notice. Wondering how he could even find room to care why Lupin was supposed to have seen Ms. Tonks tonight, Severus turned back to Harry. Becoming anxious to finalize his plans and noting the heavy droop to his son's eyes, he decided he didn't care that it was much too early for Harry to go to sleep.

"Harry, do you think you could eat something?" he asked, his overriding need to ensure that his son's needs were met overshadowed his newly-formed plans. But Harry shook his head dully, his eyes still closed. Severus considered him before nodding.

"I will give you a Nutritive Potion," he decided. Harry shrugged. "Are you tired?" Severus pressed. Harry didn't answer. "Would you like a Sleeping Draught?" Severus asked gently, keeping his voice purposefully soft and his mind firmly shielded against the increasing pain he was feeling. Harry opened his eyes, blinked once and then nodded in resigned acceptance.

"Accio Sleeping Draught. Accio Nutritive Potion," Severus commanded. The two vials flew together from his lab. Harry took them and emptied their contents in two quick swallows. His fingers fell back to his lap, still grasping the glass. Without a word to either Severus or Lupin, Harry leaned his head into the crook of the sofa and curled himself even further into its depths, closing his eyes once more.

Though he wasn't particularly surprised that Harry had taken the potions without retreating to his room, Severus seemed unable to stop staring. He shook his head, trying to clear the muddle that had settled over him. He waited another moment until Harry was firmly asleep before prying the vials from the fingers that had not even slackened in sleep.

Ignoring the tug of sadness that pulled over him as he noted the way Lupin was watching Harry, Severus called for Harry's blanket and settled it gently over his son. He pulled Harry's glasses off and tucked them into his own pocket. And as though Lupin was not even in the room, he brushed his son's fringe away from his eyes, where it had flopped with the tilt of Harry's head, letting his thumb linger momentarily against the jagged scar, smoothed after so many years...

He retrieved his hand and turned abruptly to Lupin. The melancholy look slathered all over the other man's face made his decision for him. He wove a strong Silencing Charm around his son, while Lupin furrowed his brows in confusion.

Severus wasted no time. "We need to find the other Horcruxes," he informed Lupin. Lupin nodded, though he couldn't have been expecting Severus to say that. "I need you to gather as much information as possible from Albus."

"Albus will want to help us if they're the only option," Lupin said hesitantly, but Severus shook his head.

"We will need to use the Charm," he told him.

"But if the Charm-" Lupin began in bewilderment. Severus waved his protests off impatiently.

"If Harry is indeed the caster, the Charm will give us a control that the destruction of the Horcruxes alone will not. From Harry's reaction to the locket, it is most likely that Harry's soul is bound with at least some of the Horcruxes."

Lupin gaped at him.

"What?" he demanded. Severus sighed in frustration. It should have been perfectly obvious...

"Lupin," he breathed in annoyance, "the Charm was cast before Voldemort created all of his Horcruxes. Harry must be attached to at least some of them."

"But, Severus--" Lupin stammered before falling silent with confusion. After a moment, he seemed to collect his wits about him once again and asked evenly, "What do you mean the Charm will give you control?"

Severus lowered his brows so that he was studying the other man. "Voldemort will be taken by surprise. He will be unprepared for what is going to happen to him," Severus explained, attempting patience but largely failing. Lupin was nodding again.

"But then why do we need to find the Horcruxes?" he asked, his voice gravelly as he watched Severus.

"Harry is unwilling to allow Voldemort to live," he said quietly. "And if we can destroy some of the Horcruxes--the ones that were created before the Charm was cast--it might weaken Voldemort's soul," he finished quickly, trying to ignore the immediate hope that swelled in Lupin's face.

"You mean it might-"

"Unlikely," Severus interrupted, almost growling now. "However," he continued on as though it was nothing but a careless suggestion, "if his soul is weakened enough, it might be possible for me to untangle Harry's soul from Voldemort's and guide him beyond the veil myself."

Lupin stared at him, looking completed bewildered and then his eyes opened wide in shock. "No," he all but croaked. "You can't-"

"I will not allow Voldemort to drag Harry's soul to the horrors which inevitably await him." He paused while Lupin sputtered. "Will you consent to help me?" he asked when Lupin was silent again, keeping his voice away from all pleas. It was almost a demand. But Lupin was shaking his head feverishly.

"I will not help you kill yourself," Lupin whispered, his eyes filled with horror as he glanced down at the sleeping boy on the sofa. Severus narrowed his eyes, keeping his own eyes away from his son as he grabbed the werewolf viciously around his bicep.

"Have you not been listening to me, Lupin?" he growled. "Voldemort, in all probability, will drag Harry where ever he goes beyond the veil." Lupin blinked rapidly. He had obviously not been listening. Severus lifted his upper lip in a disdainful sneer. "Would you prefer that Harry spend whatever accounts for an eternity in a place where the soul of Voldemort is fit to dwell?"

Lupin's face paled and he actually inched his face away from Severus', looking quite ill. Severus realized he was still holding him in a fierce grip. He let his fingers fall, knowing he'd likely left marks in the other man's tender skin. He ignored his guilt as he watched his son's friend staring at him. There were tears in his eyes. Severus clenched his jaw; he slid his eyes from the other man. Damn Lupin's sensitivity. He should have known he wouldn't be of any use.

"I'll help you."

Severus' eyes flew back to Lupin. The lower half of Lupin's face moved awkwardly, obviously trying to still his tears, but he held Severus' eyes as though trying to prove he was willing to do this. But Severus didn't need any proof. Severus knew Lupin would do whatever he had to do. For Harry.

Severus nodded curtly. "Thank you." It was the least he could do. Lupin breathed in deeply through his nose before returning the nod.

"I will speak with Albus in the morning," he promised. "We will still need his help," he added after a pause, his voice very quiet. Severus nodded.

"We will need his assistance to determine if Harry really is the caster. There is no reason any longer to delay discovering the answer," he said, uncomfortable with his tacit admission of an earlier fear.

Remus swallowed once before nodding. "I'm sorry," he offered.

Severus turned abruptly from him. He dissolved his carefully erected Privacy Spells. Lupin made an undistinguishable noise. Severus tried not to pay attention as he bent down to gather Harry carefully into his arms. He could only take so much....

Harry collapsed heavily against him, his head flopping in the opposite direction as he settled into Severus' arms. Moving slowly, Severus carried his precious son back into his room. His chest ached with each step; his arms began to tremble when he reached the bed, though it wasn't from exertion.

"Don't go," Harry mumbled as Severus lowered him to his bed. Severus wasn't certain if his son was dreaming; his eyes were closed. It was unlikely Harry was even aware he'd made the request. That made little difference to Severus however; he wasn't going anywhere.