Lily's Charm

Timeless...

Severus held Lily tightly as they stood together, her back to him, simply enjoying her sweet presence. He bent down to brush another kiss along her neck. He stiffened.

Harry?

Lily twisted her neck slightly to look at him. "Sev?" she questioned, her voice full of concern.

Dad?

Severus could almost hear the desperation of his son's shadowed storm.

"Harry," he breathed, his heart plummeting as he heard the ghost of his son's pain.

Lily turned fully around, her eyes wide. "Harry?" she repeated, seeming to be searching behind Severus. But Harry wasn't here with them. Severus closed his eyes. What had he done?

"No," Severus said, shaking his head, and feeling almost weightless again. Lily looked up at him, her gentle eyes crinkled in confusion. "He's calling me," he explained, his heart twisting as he gazed down at his wife.

Lily sucked in a harsh breath. "What?" she cried, sounding somewhat panicked. "But, you shouldn't be able-" She stopped speaking abruptly and brought her hand up to clench her fingers in his robes, obviously coming to same wretched conclusion he had.

Harry was waiting for him to come back.

"He will never forgive me this," Severus whispered. Lily's eyes darkened with sadness and Severus couldn't bear to see her pain. He had disappointed her again. But her words surprised him.

"He loves you," she told him fiercely.

Pain filled Severus' chest. "He should not. I hated him...my own son. You died, Lily and then I buried our son with you..." Severus paused as the remorse cut off his words, and then on a whispered breath, he murmured, "And now I've left him again."

Lily brought her small hand to rest against his cheek. "But you haven't left him, Sev." Severus stared down at her. Lily smiled, looking radiant. "Don't you see? If you can hear him, a part of you is still there with Harry. You can go back," she told him excitedly.

He could go back? To Harry?

The blossom of hope immediately shriveled as he gazed at Lily. He would have to leave his Lily. But how could he not? Harry was searching for him. Harry wanted him. Severus felt a warm glow at the thought, even as the chill overtook him.

"Lily," he whispered, gathering her to him as the name choked on his decision. "Forgive me," he begged, hoping she would understand that he had to leave her. Lily's arms tightened around his neck.

"He's our son. He needs you," she said simply and then she pulled back a little, spearing him with her emerald eyes. He tensed. "And you do deserve to be loved, Severus Snape," she scolded fiercely. "Let Harry love you. He needs to love you just as much as you need to love him."

Severus opened his mouth, but Lily pressed a finger against his lips. "No, Sev. Let the past go. He's already forgiven you...I've forgiven you," she assured him softly.

Severus' throat was dry. He hadn't realized how much he'd needed to hear that. "Thank you," he whispered.

She shook her head, her eyes glinting. "Just take care of him."

Severus nodded, afraid to speak through the emotions that were permeating every part of him, but he needed to. "I will, Lily," he promised as he felt the unfamiliar tingling of tears in his eyes...and yet somehow, the tears felt right.

Lily's eyes sparked in surprise, though she looked pleased. She brushed away one of the tears that had fallen from his lashes, something she had never been able to do before. Emotions ripped through Severus again at the delicate gesture.

He caught Lily's hand and brought it to his lips as he remembered his last regret as he'd lain in the dirt. Severus gazed down at Lily and said softly, "I love you, Lily. I have always loved you." It was so much easier now. He felt free.

Lily seemed to glow with the words. "I love you, Sev." She pushed herself up on her toes and kissed him gently. Severus leaned into the kiss; the agony of separating from her again threatened to tear him apart, even as the light of anticipation healed him.

She finally pulled away and a sudden worry tugged at him. "I don't know how to get back to him," he said, not expecting the flood of grief the realization caused him. Lily smiled her precious smile.

"Harry will help you," she assured him and then she ran her fingers through his hair, before promising quietly, "I'll be waiting for you."

And Severus, as the warmth and pain swirled together, pulled his dear Lily in for one last embrace. And then he let Lily go and turned back to find his son.

--

November 5, 1996

Dad? Are you here?

The storm darkened with its anxiety. The tendrils sifted frantically through the ashes.

A smoldering ember.

Dad? the storm called again as it shadowed. It was so cold.

The graying curl tickled forward, nudging the tiny glowing coal.

It's me. The storm coalesced in graying anticipation.

With gentle strength, the storm dug through the ashes, turning them up and over, stoking them to find warmth, coaxing them to burn again.

Slowly, with methodical caresses, the storm searched through the cinders, guiding them as the coals began to glow brighter.

A spark.

Harry...

But the spark was too weak. It flickered. The storm converged on it, blowing a soothing breath across its bow.

Come back, Dad, the storm cajoled, forcing itself to stay warm, pushing the chill away.

The spark caught against the ash and with frenzied motions, the storm built the tinder up, helping the fire.

Harry? The spark began to burn.

I'm here, the storm promised.

You've been waiting for me? The spark rose into tiny flame.

Yes, the storm answered, drawing itself protectively around the fledgling flames, allowing them to build and grow; their fiery tips stretched higher. The storm backed away.

No, the flames refused. I cannot do this on my own, they admitted.

The storm warmed, drawing itself around the fire again, waiting patiently while the flames swirled brighter, burning higher and higher, until with a great roar, they burst over the storm.

The storm changed direction, watching with frenzied excitement as the raging flames called the storm forward. The storm chilled a bit as it moved toward the flames. The flames warmed, stilling the cold.

Watch, the flames commanded gently. The storm obeyed, breezing in fascination as pictures began to form in the flames...memories.

Tendrils separated the memories from the flames, only to bury some of them again. The storm blackened in anger as the violent memories were thrust downward.

The flames reached forward to stroke the storm and the clouds gentled again around the familiar warmth.

The storm twisted in surprise as other memories burst forth, and the flames encouraged them to stay.

Lily...James...Harry.

There is no need to hide anymore, the flames explained. The flames danced. The storm thundered with laughter.

The flames warmed again. It is time to go now, they told him.

The storm rippled through with ice.

The flames flickered with surprise and then built into a fiery inferno in the next instant.

I am coming with you, the flames assured, and the storm calmed. The flames glowed.

The glow filled the void until Harry could feel his hands on his father's face again. Harry opened his eyes immediately, ignoring the moisture he felt on his cheeks. Harry's heart dropped.

Remus had moved away and Severus' eyes were closed again. His father was silent.

"No," Harry protested angrily. He looked around wildly. "He was there," he cried while the three adults stared down at him. "He came back! He did!" Harry insisted fiercely.

"Harry," Remus soothed, speaking as gently as Harry had ever heard him. Harry closed his eyes.

"No," he breathed and not knowing what else to do, he dropped his head on the bed, letting the grief submerge him again.

He said he was coming with me...

Harry felt a hand on the back of his head. His breath hitched against his lungs. He knew that hand.

"Harry," a ragged voice breathed. Harry's head shot up.

His father was gazing at him, his black eyes warmed almost to gray.

Harry stared at him, not even breathing. And then the past week crashed over him. He made a strangled sound in his throat and he all but collapsed against his father's ribs as a week's worth of closely guarded emotions overwhelmed him.

The hand tightened its hold against Harry's hair, allowing him his tears.