Lily's Charm

1996

Remus stepped frantically out of the Floo into the infirmary, not stopping until he reached Harry. Harry was flung over Severus' chest, the entire bed shaking with his sobs. Every witch and wizard huddled near the bed was staring, their eyes popped open in shock. Paying none of them any mind, Remus turned to Poppy, who was standing helplessly behind Harry, her eyes seeming to implore Remus to move his young friend.

Completely forgetting himself, Remus turned around to face the gawking Order members. "Everybody out!" he roared, and surprise flitted across all of their faces. Especially Tonks, he noted, but he hadn't time to worry about anyone's feelings right now...nobody's except Harry's.

"Shoo," Poppy emphasized with a flicking motion of her hands and Albus finally took charge.

"Wait in my office," he ordered softly and with many nods, the group found their way out of the Infirmary. Remus didn't notice if Tonks said goodbye. He was focused completely on Harry, his chest so heavy with leaden dread that he didn't think he was breathing properly.

He didn't know what had happened; Poppy hadn't given any details. He didn't even know how Severus had gotten to the Hospital Wing. He wished he had something to tell Harry, something to ease his mind, but as he stood there, staring at the helpless boy, whose hands and face were tangled up so hopelessly in his father's robes, Remus had no idea what he was supposed to do.

Well, he needed to move Harry; that much was certain. With unsteady steps, Remus put a hand on Harry's back and Harry flinched immediately from the touch.

Remus crouched down a bit so that he was level with Harry's face. "Harry," he whispered softly. Harry didn't respond. Moving carefully, Remus put his hands slowly on the quaking shoulders, to gently tug him away from Severus. But Harry yanked himself angrily from Remus' slight grip.

"No," he snarled. "Leave me alone," Harry insisted, a sob catching on the last of his command as he buried himself deeper against Severus.

His own eyes filling with tears, for both Harry and for Severus, Remus took a deep breath, hating himself for what he was about to do, but he could see that Harry wasn't going to relinquish his hold. "Somnus," he chanted thickly, waving his wand over Harry's prostrated form. Harry's fingers slackened their furious hold and he began to slip from Severus' chest. Lunging forward, Remus caught his young friend around the waist and then turning him slightly, he hoisted Harry into his arms. As he had when Harry was a baby, Remus cradled him against his chest.

Taking only two short steps to the next bed, Remus laid his delicate bundle onto the crisp white sheets. Poppy handed him a pile of warm blankets, murmuring, "...in shock." And then she moved with precision toward Severus.

Remus unfolded the thick clutch of blankets and wrapped them securely around Harry, tucking them up and around his shoulders to keep him warm. The shock, as Poppy had said, had already begun to creep through Harry's body and it would do no good for him to get a chill. For good measure, Remus cast a Warming Charm over the blankets and then as the tears threatened him again, Remus dropped heavily into the chair next to Harry's bed.

--

Remembrance seeped unwilling into Harry's conscious. His eyelids seemed to be crusted in sand as they scraped against his eyeballs. His stomach swooped as he saw the high ceilings of the Hospital Wing.

His father.

Pushing himself up so abruptly that he had to swallow back the rush of vomit that coursed up his throat, Harry waited through the spinning of the silent room.

Not seeing anything but the man lying stiffly on the bed next to his, Harry slipped down slowly from his perch and crossed with even slower steps to his father's side. It was all still there...the twisted limbs, the bruises and the face...swollen beyond recognition.

His father was dead...just as he had been when he'd first come in here. His father had broken his promise. As a soothing numbness settled over him, Harry sat down in the chair next to his father's body. There was nothing else to do.

Nothing mattered anymore.

--

Remus tensed as soon as Harry began to stir. He leaned over his friend and waited while Harry's eyes fluttered open and their bleariness cleared. Remus reached out a steadying hand as Harry sat up with a jerk, and Harry didn't flinch away this time. He didn't even look at Remus. But Remus kept his fingers around Harry's bicep as he stood and moved over to Severus' side.

Harry stood silently for a few minutes before sitting almost mechanically in the chair next to Severus' bed. His movements were perfectly calm, perfectly composed; Remus' stomach clenched. He called for Poppy to come out of her office. Poppy came out instantly, a vial of Calming Draught in her hand.

Harry's eyes were glazed over as Poppy peered down at him, waving her wand over the top of his head. Harry still didn't look up; he simply continued to stare straight ahead.

"Maybe I shouldn't have woken him," Remus said nervously, but Poppy shook her head firmly.

"He has to deal with this," she said calmly. Remus swallowed through the lump of anguish in his throat.

"I don't know how to help him," he whispered, staring down at his friend.

Poppy laid a comforting hand on Remus' trembling arm. "Talk to him, Remus...I'm not sure he's even aware that we're here."

Remus frowned at Poppy's words. Surely Harry knew he and Poppy were here...but as he studied Harry closely, it seemed unlikely. There had been no reaction to their exchange, no indication at all that he had heard them. Harry's eyes stayed firmly fixed on Severus' unrecognizable face.

"What-what should I say to him?" Remus asked worriedly. "I don't know how to tell him-"

"You'll tell him the truth, Remus. There's nothing else to do. Harry has to accept it." Poppy's voice was firm though full of kindness, and Remus knew she was right.

But he didn't think Harry would be able to accept this. When they hadn't even known anything yet, when the threat to Severus had had been only a vague worry, Harry had been all but incapacitated. How could Remus even hope that Harry would be able to cope with this?

"Poppy," Remus said quietly, "Can you have Minerva bring Ginny down here?"

Poppy, understanding immediately, nodded briskly and went to the Floo. Feeling better with the prospect of Ginny coming to help him with Harry, Remus moved cautiously forward, keeping his movements slow as not to startle Harry. He needn't have bothered. Harry's green eyes were glazed over and it was obvious, as it should have been before, that Harry was not aware of anything...nothing but his father's broken body.

Remus crouched down and fighting through the flood of emotions, he put a hand gently on Harry's knee.

"Harry," he called quietly. Not a twitch, not a movement. So he put his free hand on Harry's other knee. Remus shook the knees so lightly that he wasn't sure he had done it at all. It didn't matter anyway. Harry didn't stir.

Remus turned as he heard the roar of the Floo. He sighed in relief as Ginny stepped out, wrapped in a dressing gown, with Albus and Minerva on either side of her. Ginny's eyes were already red with tears, her young face pinched with worry.

She hurried over, and dropped down next to Remus. "What's wrong with him?" she asked hoarsely, moving her hands to rest on Harry's thigh.

"He's in shock," Remus explained.

"Can't you give him something, Madame Pomfrey?" Ginny implored, twisting her neck around to the Mediwitch. But Poppy shook her head.

"He needs to snap out of it on his own. When he does, he will most likely be hysterical. I'll give him a Calming Draught then," she promised and though Ginny bit her lip, she nodded. She turned back to Harry.

She blinked a few times before she set her jaw. "Harry, I want you to listen to me," she said firmly and Remus was reminded again of Molly.

"I know you're in a lot of pain right now. It's okay, Harry, it really is. But Remus and I want to talk to you." Ginny's voice didn't once falter. She stood up and took Harry's face between her hands. Remus watched, sucking in his breath as Ginny turned Harry's head so that she was looking straight into Harry's eyes.

"Harry, your father needs you."

Harry seemed to see Ginny for the first time. He blinked once, slowly, but his eyes didn't lose their shadows.

--

Harry thought he could see Ginny. But Ginny wouldn't say that. His father didn't need anything anymore. Didn't she know that?

"He's dead," Harry said dully, and he wished she could just understand, accept the reality of the situation. That she would leave him alone.

Remus' face floated in front of his vision again...Harry was sure he'd been there before.

Harry could almost see that Remus was frowning. "He's not dead, Harry."

Something flickered inside Harry's chest. He snuffed it out.

"Of course he is. I saw Lucius kill him," he said, unconcerned with Remus' trick. It was too bad of course, that Remus...and apparently Ginny were both in denial. He would try to help them see the truth. Later.

When he didn't feel so tired.

--

Remus stood up abruptly. He glanced sideways at Albus. How had Harry known about Lucius?

"Legilimency," Albus murmured thoughtfully, nodding his head. In a panic, Remus bent down again to Harry, ignoring Ginny's look of confusion as he hastily moved her aside. No wonder Harry was catatonic. If he'd seen any of what had happened to Severus in his mind... Merlin.

He had to make Harry understand that Severus had a chance. If Harry had seen that Severus had been beaten severely and had watched as Lucius chanted the killer curse, it would be almost impossible to convince him. And in reality, Severus had been all but dead when he'd appeared in the infirmary a few hours ago. Poppy had had to weave an extremely complex, and rarely used, Life Charm around Severus' body, rather like Muggle life support, Poppy had told him, while she began attempting to fix his internal injuries.

Severus' ribs were shattered, his internal bleeding out of control and most of his organs had ceased in their assigned functions. The charm was the only thing keeping him alive now. Poppy had had to call in two other healers from St. Mungo's to assist her. They were both busy brewing fresh potions in the school's labs. Potions classes would be cancelled indefinitely.

But Severus would get better, Remus tried to convince himself. He had to. And Remus knew without a doubt that Harry would need to help his father.

Losing most of his cautiousness, now that he knew what was going on inside Harry's mind, Remus took hold of Harry's shoulders firmly. He shook him briefly to get his attention again. Harry merely glanced at him before he looked away again toward Severus.

"Harry, listen to me. Your father's alive," Remus said gently. When Harry refused to listen, Remus shook him again. "He's not dead. Do you hear me?" he asked fiercely.

Apparently he did. Harry's eyes flashed, and he twisted away from Remus' grasp as he pushed himself roughly from his chair. "Shut up, Remus!" he shouted furiously, shoving Remus as hard as he could. "Don't lie to me! I saw them," he screeched as his arms waved wildly around his head, "I saw Voldemort. Lucius said Avada Kedavra. He did it! I saw Lucius kill him. He's dead, dammit. Don't you understand? Dead!"

Remus, pushing away his regret, forced himself to grab Harry's arms and then he spun his friend around to face Severus again. Harry's eyes were wild; he tried to scrabble backward. "No!" he cried frantically, but Remus was stronger and he pushed Harry right up against the bed; Harry writhed against his chest. Remus forced Harry's fingers to close around Severus' wrist. He put his lips right up to Harry's ear.

"Do you feel that Harry? Do you feel your father's heart beat?" Remus breathed quietly, his voice gentle while his grip remained firm. Harry stilled, though tears were falling down his cheeks.

"He's alive, Harry," Remus repeated soothingly, making sure Harry had heard him this time. "He's very ill, but he's alive."

"He's-" Harry whispered, sounding strangled, but he couldn't finish as a sob whooshed from his chest and to Remus, it felt as though all of Harry's bones had dissolved. Harry collapsed against him, finally giving in to the hysteria, as Poppy had predicted. He was sobbing uncontrollably now.

The Mediwitch moved forward, ever-ready. Not even attempting to ask Harry to drink, she waved her wand and the contents of her vial were transferred to Harry's stomach. Remus gently turned his charge back around and pulled the boy into his chest, letting Harry drain himself of everything.

Poppy's Calming Draught worked quickly; Harry's sobs began to quiet and his breathing slowly become less ragged as he drew in air against Remus' shoulder. When Harry was finally silent again, Remus asked softly, "Are you all right now?"

--

Harry shuddered lightly against his friend. Of course he wasn't all right. How could Remus ask him that? He didn't know what he was feeling. With a quick motion, he pulled back and Remus let him go. Harry turned back to his father.

Alive.

He'd felt his pulse...it must be true.

Still not able to really believe it, Harry brought his fingers back to his father's wrist. He pressed two fingers to the inside, right under the thumb. He could feel the whispered thump.....thump.....thump. It was there. Thready and almost silent, but it was there.

His father was alive.

Drawing in a gasping breath, he said shakily, "I saw Lucius kill him..."

Harry had watched the entire thing as he'd tried to get out of bed, just before he'd heard the Floo in the sitting room. He glanced up once toward Remus. And then, he noticed Ginny. "Ginny?" he asked dumbly. Where had she come from?

Ginny stepped closer and Harry thought he felt a bit warmer now. But he still didn't understood what had happened. He turned back to Remus.

"What happened?" he pressed, his head still swimming with everything.

"Lucius was playing a part," Dumbledore said as he came to stand at the other side of Severus' bed. "He activated your father's Portkey. It sent him straight to the Infirmary," he explained when Harry continued to stare in confusion.

"But I-" Harry tried to protest, but Dumbledore was already nodding his head.

"He started chanting the curse right before the Portkey took your father away. He had to continue his part, my boy," Dumbledore finished, and Harry didn't think he'd ever seen the Headmaster looking so sad. It made Harry's stomach clench painfully.

Harry pursed his lips. He laid his hand timidly on his father's chest. "Will he be all right?" he asked. His voice was wobbling and he knew he wouldn't be able to still the hurt that was fighting to reach his throat. His father had to be all right. But how could he be? Harry had seen the way the other Death Eaters--no, he wouldn't think about that.

He should erect his shields again, he told himself resignedly but to his astonishment, his Dementor Storm, stormy and black though it was, was fully in place again. With a sharp pang, Harry realized how proud his father would have been--would be--he amended fiercely, when he told him he had kept his shields together on instinct alone. Incredibly grateful for all that his father had taught him, Harry buried the images of his father at the hands of his comrades, and waited for somebody to answer him.

"You don't know, do you?" he finally mumbled when there was only silence.

Ginny squeezed his hand and Remus shifted beside him, but it was Pomfrey who finally answered, "I've woven a complex charm throughout his body. It's keeping him alive. His injuries are extensive, I won't lie to you. But, we're doing everything we can, Harry." As Pomfrey's clinical tone changed with a stunted sadness, Harry felt a wave of nausea wash over him.

Harry nodded stiffly as the tears filled his eyes again. His insides had turned to stone at her words, but he couldn't allow himself to give in this time. Ginny had said his father needed him.

"What can I do?" he whispered.

"Stay here with him. Talk to him." Pomfrey encouraged. She took a deep breath before saying quietly, "His mind was tortured just as thoroughly as his body. And that may well be impossible to repair."

Harry felt his fingers clenching up in soft fabric as a tremor convulsed his body again. With a sickening lurch, he realized his father was still wearing his Death Eater robes. His tears had washed through them as he'd lain across Voldemort's uniform. Harry retched violently and then he expelled the entire contents of his stomach, all over the silky black material.