Lily's Charm

NotEvenHere

Story Summary:
In a story that spans two decades, Lily and Severus attempt to dispel the power of the Dark Mark after her life is threatened by Eileen Prince. Seventeen years later, Harry uncovers a long-buried truth which changes the course of his life. AU. Complete.

Chapter 18 - Never Enough

Posted:
07/15/2008
Hits:
1,443


1996

"Sev, can you clean Harry's face?" Lily asked, as she waved her wand to move the dirty dishes to the sink.

Severus shook his head in amusement; his little boy's face was covered in sticky remnants of his half-eaten dinner. Severus flicked his wand to vanish all traces of the meal. Harry reached his stubby arms up toward Severus.

"Up," he demanded and Severus complied, pulling the clean child against his chest. Harry smiled at him.

"Come on, Harry," James said enthusiastically as he pushed back from the table, "let's go draw you a bath." Harry clapped his hands, wiggling a bit in his father's arms, his own excitement matching James'.

"James, sometimes I think you enjoy Harry's bath time more than he does," Lily said with a laugh as she cast a quick charm to begin scrubbing the dishes.

"I do not," James disagreed with a frown. Then he turned to Severus and said impatiently, "Come on, Severus. Harry's waiting!"

Severus raised a brow. And then his face stiffened as the Dark Mark tingled against his skin. Lily understood instantly.

"The Mark?" she asked, holding her arms out for Harry. Severus nodded and bent his head to kiss the top of his son's head before handing the little boy over to his wife. James had already moved to stand next to Lily. Severus took a quick step toward Lily as well; she reached out with her free arm to pull Severus close.

"Be careful, Sev," came the cold, almost inhuman voice and Severus reared back in shock.

Voldemort smiled his thin-lipped smile. His dark red eyes glinted as he pulled a struggling sixteen year-old Harry from underneath his robes. Harry was shaking, his green eyes wide with terror.

"Promise you'll save me!" Harry pleaded with him and as Severus watched in horror, Harry's features distorted around the emerald eyes as they dulled, until Lily was staring blindly up at him.

"No," Severus breathed. But the eyes paid no attention; the face twisted until it became his son again, the eyes glazed and unseeing as Voldemort shrieked with laughter.

"No," Severus moaned, forcing himself back to consciousness. Immediately, he checked his shields. They were as strong as ever but Severus still felt panic constricting his chest. He threw himself out of bed and not even pausing to put on his dressing gown, crossed the hall to his son's room in mere seconds. The door was ajar, exactly as he'd left it and the room was still dark. Severus stepped inside.

Harry was curled up contentedly on his new bed.

Safe.

Severus relaxed as he moved forward into the room. His lips curled slightly as he saw that Harry's blankets were tangled up near his feet. Moving quietly, Severus stepped closer to the bed and pulled the sheet and blanket back up to Harry's shoulder.

He gazed at his son for a moment longer, listening to the sounds of his even breathing before reaching out to stroke a hand over Harry's dark hair, and the contact eased the rest of Severus' tension. Satisfied, he turned away. He left the door open once more and cast a Tempus Charm. Only two hours had passed since he'd left Harry in his room.

Not wanting to attempt sleep again, Severus went back to his room to dress and then headed toward his lab. Chanting a quick charm to alert him when three hours had passed, Severus began crushing several delicate Fairy Wings. As he listened to the steady rhythm of the pestle while he hammered with precision into the stone bowl, Severus began the familiar debate.

It had been years since he'd had a nightmare; it had taken considerable effort to distance himself from the horrors he'd participated in while pretending to be in the Dark Lord's service. But this nightmare wasn't about anything he had done; it was solely about his anxiety concerning Harry, and he recognized his worry was heightening with each passing day. The dream was simply a manifestation of that worry.

Severus knew perfectly well that Albus could send someone in his stead to the Halloween meeting; Polyjuice Potion would work perfectly well for that. But that would mean entrusting someone else to help his son if the Dark Lord somehow found a way past their defenses.

But that wouldn't even be an issue if Harry stayed here in our quarters under guard, Severus argued forcefully with himself. But the practical side, the part that understood all too well the dangers of believing in one's own invincibility knew that such a course would be foolish. The Dark Lord had managed treachery more difficult that entering a Potions masters' quarters. Even Highlands Cottage, the safe house still under the Fidelius Charm, couldn't be trusted.

And so the debate ended, as it always did, with Severus' firm resolve that nothing mattered more than his son's life. Even Harry would surely see that, should something happen to Severus. Harry was better fatherless and alive, than the other option, which Severus couldn't even bring himself to think. This time, he would keep his son safe, no matter the consequences.

With a firm nod, Severus added the Crushed Fairy Wings to his bubbling Potion and watching as the boiling liquid rolled, folding the powder into its depths. Satisfied with his decision, Severus spent the next hours engrossed in his work. As soon as his allotted three hours were up, Severus cast a Stasis Charm, spelled his hands clean and went to wake his son.

When he reached Harry's door, he noted the brightened lights within and knocked twice.

"Come in," Harry invited and Severus pushed open the door as an unexpected nervousness leapt up at him. He pushed it away and stilled his features.

Harry was sitting on the edge of the bed with Lily's album open on his lap. He looked up when Severus came fully into the room. "Morning," his son greeted, his voice subdued.

"Good morning," Severus returned solemnly. Harry turned his gaze back to the photo. Lily was holding Harry in her arms, only hours after she had delivered him; she looked absolutely content and Severus felt a tug of grief as Harry ran his forefinger over his mother's beautiful face.

"I see her in my dreams sometimes," Harry said suddenly, his voice quiet. "The night Voldemort killed her..." he murmured and Severus' heart lurched. Harry could remember that? He stepped closer to his son, putting his hand securely on the boy's shoulder. Harry looked up; his eyes were shining. Severus applied pressure and Harry took a shuddering breath before returning to his album.

Pausing briefly to consider Harry's possible reaction, Severus moved his hand off of his son's shoulder and sat gingerly on the bed. Harry glanced over at him before sliding his eyes back to the album; Severus thought he detected a smile.

Harry turned the page. This photo was almost identical to the one previous except that Severus was in it, half-sitting on Lily's bed. They were both gazing down at the baby in Lily's arms.

"I think you're almost smiling," Harry remarked, his lips quirking fully into a smile of his own. "You must not have known James was taking it."

Severus glanced at his son with amusement. "Likely not," was his reply and Harry shook his head and turned another page.

Severus was holding a very naked, very pruney newborn Harry under the armpits; Harry's tiny body was scrunched up tightly. Severus' features softened as he remembered that first bath he'd given his son; he had been so nervous to pick up the wet, slippery bundle, that he had just kept bathing him until Lily had laughingly ordered him to just get to it.

Harry was watching him. "Do you remember that day?" he asked, his tone almost eager. Severus nodded.

"That was your first bath," he told him.

"You look kind of nervous," Harry decided as he studied the picture.

"You were slippery," Severus told him matter-of-factly. For some reason, that made Harry laugh.

"Sorry," Harry finally said as Severus stared at him, "It's just that it's a bit odd to think of you giving me a bath," he said with a shrug, still smiling.

"I, in fact, gave you the majority of your baths. Though James often assisted, as he enjoyed your toys," Severus added as he remembered the first part of his earlier dream. Changing the subject swiftly, Severus said, "Lupin will be here shortly to escort you to the Great Hall for breakfast. There is a shower at the end of the hall if you wish to use it."

Harry closed the photo album, looking reluctant. "Yeah, all right." He put the album carefully back on the table and stood up, stretching as he did. He let his arms hang down again at his side, looking particularly serious. "Thanks...for the room, I mean."

Severus' allowed his upper lip to lift slightly as he gazed at his son. "You already thanked me."

Harry shrugged. "I know."

"You're welcome, Harry," Severus said, realizing he hadn't offered the words last night and Harry seemed to relax. And then as Harry continued to gaze at him, Severus stood up and gestured toward the door. "You wished to shower," he reminded him pointedly. Harry smiled a bit and nodded. He turned toward the door and Severus followed him down the short corridor.

Severus went into the sitting room to wait for Lupin while Harry went into the washroom. Almost immediately, the Floo activated and Lupin's face was floating in the flames.

"Good morning, Severus. May I come in?" Lupin inquired. Severus nodded once. The werewolf stepped through as Harry's shower began running.

"Harry will be with you shortly," Severus told him abruptly. Lupin nodded easily. Having no interest in small talk, Severus spun around to go back into his lab.

"Tonks said she and Moody didn't have any problems at Gringotts," Lupin said to his back and closing his eyes briefly, Severus turned slowly back around, reminding himself that Lupin was Harry's friend.

"Alastor's expertise with memory modification was a considerable asset," he agreed shortly, "I suspect that is the reason Albus chose him to accompany Ms. Tonks," he said, attempting not to sneer.

Lupin smiled. "He had to work fast though. Tonks was very impressed and she's well used to Moody's many talents."

Severus narrowed his eyes at the implication in Lupin's words. "My plans have not changed," he told the other man stiffly. And then forcing himself to rid his mind of the residual feelings of jealousy toward his son's friend that were warring with his anxiety, Severus said tightly, "I would however appreciate your assurance that you will take care of Harry, should it become necessary."

"Severus, don't talk like that," Lupin objected. "You'll be all right; just as you've always been. This time will be no different," Lupin said foolishly and Severus knew Lupin was trying to lift his spirits, as if Severus was a frightened child.

"The Dark Lord is easily carried away," Severus snapped, having no patience for meaningless platitudes. "He will already be most displeased with Lucius for Draco's continued failure, and with me as well for not adequately assisting the boy."

Lupin opened his mouth, but Severus pressed on, "The possibility of battle with Aurors also poses many problems. It is pointless to pretend it is out of the realm of possibility."

"Severus, I-" Lupin whispered. Severus waved an angry hand.

"Do not feel pity for me, Lupin. All I need to know is that you will take care of Harry."

Lupin swallowed. "Of course I will, Severus," he promised shakily.

Severus nodded in satisfaction. "He will not take it well-"

"Stop it, Severus!" Lupin protested in a sudden fit of anger. "Stop acting as though there's no other choice," he ordered, his eyes hard. "You can't just give up. Harry needs you."

Severus narrowed his eyes, ignoring the pain as it seeped into his chest at Lupin's declaration. "There may very well be no other choice, Lupin," he sneered to cover his disquiet, and then his eyes widened in surprise as the werewolf roughly grabbed him by the arm.

"Then get yourself out of there at the first sign of trouble! Harry needs a father more than a spy, Severus," Lupin told him roughly as he shook him.

Severus wrenched himself from the werewolf's grasp. "He needs to stay alive," he snarled. Lupin's soft eyes flashed.

"Then let someone else take your place!" he shot back furiously. Both of them froze as they heard the water in the shower turning off. "He needs you, Severus," Lupin repeated quietly before stepping back.

Severus twisted away, his fists clenched in rage at his sides. Of course he understood that Harry would be hurt if he were not able to return. But Harry's life was worth far more than any pain he might feel with Severus' loss. If somehow, despite everything, Voldemort still managed to get Harry to that meeting...there was no one else Severus could trust to get him back. The risk to himself meant nothing to Severus.

As Severus heard his son coming down the corridor, he forced himself to calm. Harry came in with a smile but it faltered as he looked between the two men. Obviously his and Lupin's unease was readily visible.

Harry eyed them warily before asking Severus, "Is everything all right?"

Severus nodded curtly, surveying his son's pyjamas as he distracted himself from the discussion he'd just had with Lupin. "Come here," he ordered and Harry complied, moving forward to stand in front of Severus. With a quick wave, Severus' wand transfigured Harry's pyjamas into his school uniform, complete with shoes and robes.

"Thanks," Harry murmured, looking impressed. "I really need to learn how to do that," he mused.

Severus nodded seriously. "As much time as you seem to spend wandering about the castle in your night clothes, such a spell would indeed be useful."

Harry's cocked a brow at him. "I don't wander about the castle," he disagreed and as Severus lifted his own eyebrows in disbelief, he grinned. "Well, not anymore, at least," he amended. And then, he asked, "Can you teach me how to do that though?"

Severus nodded. "I will show you tomorrow," he agreed. Harry grinned and then turned to Lupin

"Ready, Remus?" he asked. Lupin nodded. Harry turned back to Severus. "I'll see you tomorrow then." As Severus inclined his head, he handed Harry his silver cloak and his little box of Floo Powder.

"Thanks," Harry said, tucking the items into his robes as he followed Lupin into the Floo.

Lupin's movements were unnaturally stiff as he threw down the powder; Harry on the other hand, looked decidedly happy as he Flooed away.

--

"That's wonderful, Harry," Hermione gushed as Harry told his friends about his new room. They were in a quiet corner of the library after dinner that night and Hermione had put up a Silencing Spell as Severus hadn't seemed to notice her other one...or at least he hadn't said anything about it.

"Yeah, mate," Ron agreed

"I wish we could see it," Ginny said with a sigh. Harry frowned.

It would be something, Harry thought, to actually have a room to invite his friends to. He'd never had anything like that before. He didn't think that his father would be particularly enthused with the idea of four teenagers in his quarters though. But then he remembered Severus' explanation about the Floo last night. His father had said the Floo would allow his friends through. Well, that was certainly interesting.

Ignoring that for the moment, as he remembered the rest of the night's conversation, Harry leaned forward. "Hermione, you were right about Halloween," he told his friend and then as she demanded details, he recounted the discussion he'd had with his father, though he didn't mention that there might be any extra danger for Severus. Hermione however, deduced it for herself.

"But Voldemort is awfully vindictive, Harry. Just think about the plan he concocted for the Malfoys. Won't he be especially angry when he can't get to you?"

Harry shrugged. "Yeah, but Voldemort's been angry before."

"But Harry, aren't you worried about Professor Snape?" she asked anxiously.

"Hermione!" Ginny protested with a scowl. "Of course he's worried."

Harry shook his head though. "I was pretty upset last night," he admitted. "But he said he'll be all right." Ron and Ginny nodded immediately while Hermione continued to look concerned, but as Harry has been talking, his resolve had firmed even more. Everything would be fine. After all, his father had promised and Harry had already decided that he could count on that promise.

But even so, the week dragged on for Harry, except the evenings he spent in his father's quarters; they always seemed to go by much too quickly. Harry spent most of the day Saturday with Severus as well. They used most of their time together practicing and Harry got the distinct impression that Severus was attempting to teach him every spell and curse he knew. The idea was slightly unsettling and as Halloween drew closer, Harry was starting to grow more and more nervous, no matter how many times he tried to tell himself that there wasn't anything to worry about.

And by the morning of Halloween, Harry could barely think straight. Transfiguration class was a complete waste of time; McGonagall finally just told him to put his wand away as he was making everybody around him much too nervous to complete their own spells. Harry did put his wand away, but he didn't stop fidgeting.

In only hours, his father could be in front of Voldemort, surrounded by Death Eaters. Of course he knew Severus had done it dozens of times before and Harry had even had to wait through a few of those times, but this was worse. Far worse. How McGonagall thought he could do anything productive in class was utterly beyond him. And then with a silent groan, Harry realized he was going to have to go to Potions class straight after lunch.

He could just see it now. He'd be so muddled that he'd add Eye of Newt instead of Pickled Unicorn Hearts and blow up half the classroom. And that of course would produce a very annoyed Potions Professor and whether sincere or not, Harry really didn't want to make his father angry. It would be best not to go at all.

Unfortunately, Harry mused as he tried to sort it all out, Severus was likely to be as annoyed if Harry didn't even show up for class, not to mention frantic. His father was turning out to be a tad overdramatic about such things. With a sigh, Harry decided he'd just have to find a way to get through Potions.

A couple hours later, as he attempted to brew a Memory Enhancing Potion, Harry decided that McGonagall had had a point--Malfoy's nerves were so frayed that, coupled with Harry's own anxiety, it was virtually impossible for either one of them to concentrate. Harry was quite certain there wouldn't be any way he would leave this session with anything better than a zero.

Malfoy was so twitchy he kept knocking various ingredient vials over. After the fifth vial spilled out onto the table and Malfoy had cleaned it up with a growled, "Evanesco," Harry almost had an urge to pat the other boy soothingly on the back. Instead, he wordlessly added his own vial of Liquefied Toadstools into the bubbling cauldron and then groaned quietly as he noted the potion was decidedly mud-colored, instead of the glittery gold they'd been instructed to expect.

Malfoy, hearing the disgruntled sound, leaned over the cauldron and let out his own almost inaudible groan. He glanced over at Harry, their eyes locking for a brief second and Harry could almost see the sheer terror in the boy's unnaturally gray eyes. Malfoy seemed to see something in Harry's eyes as well, for he blinked in surprise. Then the moment passed and Malfoy slumped against his chair, muttering something about prats fouling up potions.

Harry kept his sigh to himself as he stirred the ruined potion, though there was really no point; he wouldn't be able to avoid losing points for Gryffindor now. He glanced toward Ron, who was stirring his own potion with careful movements, while Parkinson supervised with narrowed eyes.

Further back, Hermione, sitting by herself, was stirring her potion as well; she looked pleased with her results. After Nott had hexed Ron after the Quidditch match, Severus had said something about Hermione being much too much of an insufferable know-it-all for Nott to endure any more class sessions as her partner. Hermione, catching on immediately to the Potions master's ploy, had had a very hard time not grinning as she collected her belongings to move to a different table.

Harry caught his father's eye as he turned away from Hermione. He snapped his head around immediately, not wanting to have any reason for a faux-fight today. Malfoy was watching Harry, his gray eyes narrowed slightly. Harry ignored the Slytherin and turned back to the potion to give it fifteen more clockwise turns. When he'd finished, he took the stirring rod carefully out of the cauldron and set it down on the table. Wishing he didn't have to bring his father over to inspect their work, Harry raised his hand reluctantly.

Severus didn't even bother to nod. He came immediately to their table and frowned as soon as he caught sight of their abysmal attempt. His eyes came up quickly and swept over the two boys. Harry, with a pang, recognized the look of regret in his father's eyes.

"Unacceptable Potter. Zero," he said stonily before sweeping away, and Harry wondered if he was the only one to notice the stiffness in his father's steps.

Malfoy was absolutely silent as he gathered his belongings together, his movements even more unsteady than they'd been all throughout class, as though the impending end of the afternoon class session marked some countdown for Lucius in Malfoy's head. As he tried not to stare, Harry thought he was beginning to understand why Malfoy would have accepted Voldemort's orders; somehow even murder didn't seem so bad if it would save someone you loved.

With a start, Harry's eyes flew up to find his father, who was leaning over Dean and Zabini's cauldron. Love? Is that how he felt about Severus, he wondered, too stunned to realize he was gaping at his father.

--

Severus inspected the last cauldron of Memory Enhancing Potion. "Marginal, at best," Severus sneered to Thomas and Zabini and then straightened again to dismiss the class. Harry was staring at him, looking dazed. Severus took an involuntary step toward him before he realized where they were. He halted and turned abruptly away.

"Bottle your potions," he rapped out to the room in general. "Class dismissed," he snapped before whirling toward his desk. He sat down, glancing up only once to ensure that Harry had regained his composure. Harry was scrambling to put his ingredients in his bag, while Draco banished the contents of their cauldron and Severus' concern sharpened as he thought of their failed attempt at brewing the assigned potion. It was a clear indication of the states of mind of both boys and then Severus wondered if Draco had said something to Harry to make him gawk.

As soon as the last student had left the classroom, Severus sent the bottled potions to his storage cupboard and then left his classroom as well. He went straight to his quarters to wait for his son. They'd arranged for Lupin to bring Harry straight after class. Severus didn't know when he'd receive the call to join the Dark Lord but he had every intention of spending as much time with Harry as he could.

It was only a few minutes before the Floo flared and Lupin and Harry stepped through. Harry bit his lip as soon as he spotted Severus waiting for them and Severus wondered again what, beside the obvious, could be troubling his son.

"Good afternoon, Severus," Lupin greeted and Severus inclined his head, keeping his eyes on Harry. "I'll be waiting in my office," Lupin told them both and after a curt nod from Severus and a quiet goodbye from Harry, they were left alone.

Harry was gazing at him, as though not understanding what he was seeing.

"Did Draco say something to you?" Severus asked abruptly, finding no other explanation for Harry's reticence. But Harry shook his head.

"He was pretty quiet today," his son said. "He was really jittery...nervous about his father I guess," he added softly. Severus was surprised by the concern in Harry's voice. Concern for Draco? Certainly not for Lucius...

"Draco knows the Dark Lord will not be pleased that his task is not yet completed. Lucius has suffered greatly in the past few months," Severus explained. He saw no point in sugar-coating reality.

Harry slid his eyes away for a moment, his fingers gripping the edges of his sleeves. Severus took a step closer to his son. "What is troubling you?" he asked quietly. Harry shrugged as he looked again at Severus. His green eyes were dark...turbulent, and grief speared Severus' chest. Perhaps he should not have been quite so honest about Lucius. Severus had carefully avoided any mention of this topic throughout the past week. Harry had seemed to prefer it that way. It seemed it was past time they addressed the issue again.

Directing his son to sit on the sofa and after sitting next to him, Severus said calmly, "Harry, I have endured a significant amount of torture through the years. I will not succumb as easily as you might imagine."

Harry's knuckles whitened with the added pressure against his sleeves. "Then why did you want me to know about your will?" he asked hoarsely. Severus reached out and pulled Harry's fingers from the edges of the black fabric.

He held on as he explained, "It is unlikely that the Dark Lord's torture-" his son flinched at the word, but Severus continued, "-will do enough damage to actually kill me. He rarely kills his own." Harry's fingers contracted under his. Severus squeezed them firmly as he said, "I am concerned the Dark Lord might be angry enough to make an example of someone."

Harry jerked his hands away. "But you said-" he objected angrily.

With a quick movement, Severus closed his long fingers around Harry's wrists, stilling his convulsive movements. "I will leave if there is any danger of the Dark Lord's wrath being turned on me." As long as you are not there, he added silently, his throat closing at the thought.

"Are you certain you'll be able to?" Harry asked anxiously as he leaned forward.

Knowing he could not be certain, Severus said anyway, "I already gave you my word." In truth, the Dark Lord was not the greatest concern. That honor fell to the Ministry Aurors, if they were indeed successful in their plans to join the Death Eater's meeting tonight.

It would be difficult, as not even the Dark Lord's followers themselves knew where they would be Apparating to. But Scrimgeour and his righteous band of Aurors were a determined lot. And if there was to be a battle tonight, no matter which side Severus played on, he was certain to find curses aimed in his direction. But there was no reason to explain any of that to Harry.

Severus surveyed his son as he sat, still with his fingers grasping his son's wrists, and he found that Harry's eyes had not lost their stormy intensity. Knowing Harry would continue to dwell on this subject, Severus relinquished his hold and said lightly, "Your clothes were delivered yesterday afternoon." Harry blinked. That was another conversation they hadn't revisited.

"You ordered them?" Harry asked, sounding surprised. Severus tried not to smile.

"I did tell you I would, did I not?"

"Well, yeah...I just didn't think you'd do it so quickly," Harry said with a grin and Severus was gratified that he had seemingly accepted the idea that Severus did want to take care of his needs. "Can I see them?" Harry asked eagerly and Severus allowed a bit of a smile to find his lips. He nodded.

"They are in your room," he agreed as he stood up, enjoying the sound of the phrase as much as Harry must have, considering how his son's smile widened as he all but scrambled to his feet. Without even waiting for Severus, Harry turned toward their rooms and Severus followed, pleased with his son's excitement.

Harry stopped as soon as he saw the clothes hanging neatly in his bureau. Harry's eyes widened as he turned to Severus. "But, that's too much!" he objected. Severus shook his head.

"It is merely a complete set of clothes. It is no more than the students in Slytherin have." When Harry looked ready to object again, Severus said seriously, "I realize you are used to far less, Harry, but it is no more than you should have been given all along." Harry considered him for a minute and then went over to the bureau, fingering each item of clothing carefully.

"I will return anything you do not like," Severus told him, but Harry shook his head.

"They're nice," he said slowly. Severus tilted his head slightly to the side.

"You sound surprised," he said curiously. Harry glanced at him, his eyes twinkling, all at once losing their darkness.

"I guess I was sort of expecting you to get everything in black," he smirked, eyeing Severus' ensemble.

"I can exchange them, if you wish," Severus offered, deadpan, and Harry laughed.

"Thanks, but I think I'll stick with these."

"A wise decision," Severus agreed seriously.

"Can I take them back to the tower with me?" Harry asked, still grinning. Severus nodded.

"You will need an explanation for your dorm mates, but yes, you may. I'll teach you how to shrink them and then put them back as they are now, so that you will be able to carry them with you."

Harry agreed and Severus spent the next twenty minutes teaching Harry the same Shrinking Spell he'd used many years ago to carry Lily's superfluous amount of books during their time in school together. Once Harry had mastered the Spell and placed the now-tiny clothes in a pocket, Harry unexpectedly asked if he could re-brew the Memory Enhancing Potion.

"Then you won't have to give me a zero," he explained. Severus frowned.

"I was not going to give you a zero."

Harry looked confused. "But I fouled up the Potion."

Severus flexed his fingers against his palms. "I believe I have given you more than one unfair zero over the years," he said gruffly and Harry stiffened. Not knowing exactly why he felt a desire to bring this up, Severus said quietly, "I do not believe I ever apologized for my behavior after you entered my Pensieve."

Harry flushed. "You don't need to. I violated your privacy," he said, and Severus knew he was fighting very hard for control.

"My behavior was deplorable. I am sorry, Harry," Severus said softly. Harry swallowed.

"I know," he nodded and then his brow wrinkled in sudden confusion. "Wait...if you were trying to make sure I wouldn't see your memories, shouldn't you have put the ones with me in there as well?"

Severus almost smiled. "Had I not come in when I did, you would have been very surprised indeed," he told his son.

Harry gazed at him for a few silent seconds before saying sincerely, "Then, I wish you hadn't come in."

For more than one reason, Severus agreed, "As do I." Then he gestured toward the door, "If you still wish to brew the Memory Enhancing Potion, we should start." Harry nodded and they walked together to the lab.

"Can I stay here tonight?" Harry asked abruptly as they were setting out ingredients. Severus looked up from lighting the cauldron. His son was watching him, his lips pinched together. Severus knew Harry wished to stay here so he would know immediately when Severus returned. And since Severus did not have any desire to worry Harry further by mentioning the possibility that he would need to Floo to the Hospital Wing instead, he nodded.

"Lupin will need to stay here with you." Poppy could alert Lupin if necessary. Harry's entire body seemed to relax with Severus' answer.

"I'm sure Remus won't mind," Harry told him. No doubt, Severus thought sourly, though he kept his features carefully neutral.

The next two hours were spent in easy camaraderie as Severus instructed Harry in the best techniques to use when brewing this particular Potion. To Severus' great satisfaction, Harry listened attentively as he explained the various complexities of Liquefied Toadstools. He closely followed Severus' detailed instructions as to the proper way to chop ingredients, murmuring something about Malfoy being right as Severus demonstrated how to hold the knife. And much to Severus' pleasure, his son was a quick-learner and seemed to actually enjoy their work.

"That was sort of fun," Harry informed him after they'd bottled the finished Potion.

"You were expecting tedium?" Severus inquired as he put the ingredients away.

"Well, I don't think I've ever actually enjoyed brewing a Potion," Harry admitted sheepishly.

"Perhaps you simply needed better instruction," Severus suggested lightly as he tidied up the tables.

Harry shrugged, looking uncomfortable. Severus quickly turned the subject to the details of the rest of the night, knowing it was almost time for Harry to leave to get ready for the dance. "Ms. Tonks will end her Disillusionment Charm shortly and she and Lupin will escort you and your friends to the Great Hall," he reminded his son.

Harry nodded, his eyes beginning to cloud over again as he took a deep breath, trying to steady himself, Severus guessed. "You'll be all right, yeah?" Harry asked, only a bit of a tremor in the question as he gazed intently at Severus. Severus nodded. Harry bit his lip before asking timidly, "If I'm asleep when you get back, will you wake me?"

Severus nodded obediently. "I will." The assurance didn't help to relax Harry's tension. "I will be fine," Severus added quickly, not even caring this time that it might be a lie.