Lily's Charm

1996

Madame Pomfrey released Remus early on Saturday morning and he, along with a red and golden-haired Tonks, poked his head into the dressing-room tent a few minutes before the first Quidditch game of the season. "Anybody starkers in here?" Tonks called out, with firmly closed eyes? When no shouts of affirmation greeted her question, Tonks peeled open one eye carefully and grinned, pulling Remus over to the benches where the Gryffindor boys were gathered around Ron.

Harry smiled in greeting and then went back to bending over an almost catatonic Ron. "You'll be all right, Ron," Harry tried to assure his friend, but the redhead could only shake his head.

"Oh, quit being a baby!" Ginny snapped, not even bothering with Tonks' precaution before stepping into the tent. Katie Bell and Hermione followed, though with more caution. Hermione kept her gaze firmly fixed straight ahead, as though afraid of what she might see.

Harry shook his head at Ginny and though she folded her arm across her chest and flopped onto one of the benches looking disgruntled, she didn't goad her brother any further.

Hermione sat down next to Ron and said soothingly, "Harry's right; you'll be wonderful."

Strangely enough, Hermione's reassurance brought a smile to Ron's lips, where Harry's had clearly failed. Ron nodded jerkily and then taking Hermione's hand, he nodded once again, more solidly and then dragged Hermione from the room, without a word. The rest of the team and the two adults watched them go, bewildered by Ron's swift mood change.

Harry simply shook his head and turning back to his gathered team, he directed them to get their brooms so they could get out onto the pitch.

"Harry, can I have a word?" Remus asked as Harry and Ginny turned toward the exit to follow the rest of the team. Harry turned back obediently while Tonks waggled her eyebrows, which matched her two-toned hair.

"Come on, Ginny..." Tonks whispered loudly, "...boys and their secrets, you know." Ginny, although she was privy to all of Harry's secrets, nodded with a grin of her own and followed a chattering Tonks outside.

"Everything all right, Remus?" Harry asked, trying not to be nervous.

Remus nodded though. "I have a message for you, that's all," he told his young friend.

Harry furrowed his eyebrows, thinking quickly of anything he could have done in the past eighteen hours that his father could want to lecture him about. Coming up with nothing, Harry asked quickly, "Voldemort?" He hoped desperately that his father hadn't been called away.

"He just wanted to wish you good luck," Remus explained and Harry flushed with pleasure.

"He did?"

Remus smiled. "When I commented that he was inadvertently hoping for a Slytherin loss with his good-luck wish, he made sure to insist that he was hoping for no such thing," he added, his eyes twinkling.

"Of course he did," Harry chuckled, still immeasurably pleased by his father's words. "Will you be seeing him before the game?" he asked eagerly.

Remus nodded. "Tonks and I are sitting with the rest of the professors."

"Will you tell him that I'll do my best to make his wish come true?" Harry asked with a smirk.

Remus laughed. "I'm sure he'll appreciate the sentiment," he agreed, clapping Harry lightly on the shoulder before going back to Tonks.

His steps light, Harry joined his team outside the tent. Ron hurried over a minute later, looking suspiciously disheveled, with a flushed Hermione by his side. Harry rolled his eyes at his grinning friends and led his team out onto the pitch.

Malfoy looked positively grim when Harry stepped into the center of the pitch. Harry smoothed his features, giving nothing away and then the whistle was blown and the two Seekers, and their teams, streaked toward the sky. The game lasted long into the afternoon and when it finally ended, Harry was positive his father must be filled with all sorts of conflicting emotions. The thought made him smile as he and his teammates cheered raucously on their way back to the dressing tent.

Amid shouts and some playful roughhousing, Harry finally managed to pull himself and Ron out of the tent again. Harry found himself with Ginny's arms around him as soon as he cleared the opening flap. Harry figured Ron was in a similar situation with Hermione, but he didn't spare a glance as Ginny's lips were immediately locked with his. He spent the next few minutes blissfully airless.

"Give it a rest, Harry," Ron finally demanded, shoving Harry lightly on the shoulder. Harry ignored his friend for another few seconds before he finally pulled away from Ginny. Ginny, pink-cheeked and frowning, pushed her scowling brother aside, as she and Harry started on their way back to the castle.

Hermione and Ron fell into step beside them. "That was brilliant," Hermione congratulated all of them. "The Slytherins were furious," she told them all cheerfully, and then her face fell a bit as she glanced at Harry. "Well, not Professor Snape of course, Harry," she amended quickly.

Harry shrugged. "I doubt he was delighted with our win," he said easily.

"Delighted?" Ron echoed. "I can't imagine Snape being delighted about anything," he scoffed.

Harry shrugged. "Yeah," he agreed, though he was certain he'd seen his father at least pleased before. More than once as a matter of fact.

It seemed like most of the student body was gathered outside the wide stone steps leading into the castle, some sitting on the stairs, while other sprawled about the lawn, enjoying the last of the autumn season and replaying the more tense parts of the Quidditch Match. A few Slytherins were gathered near the bottom of the steps; they seemed to be the only ones not smiling.

Harry and his friends ignored them as they went by, or at least that was their intent, until Nott drawled, "Having any more scary dreams this year, Potter?"

Harry tensed.

"Shut up, Nott," Ron said heatedly from beside Harry. Knowing nothing good could come from a confrontation with Slytherins, Harry put his hand on his friends arm, urging Ron to be quiet.

"Really, Weasley? Why don't you quit hiding behind your little Mudblood girlfriend there and make me?" Nott jeered.

Before Harry could stop him, Ron had whipped his wand out and spat menacingly, "Don't you dare call Hermione that foul name, Nott."

Nott reciprocated by slipping out his own wand and querying, "Which name? Mudblood?" Before Ron could make good on his threat, Nott said lazily, "Furnunculus." Red boils sprang up immediately, all over Ron's face.

"Ron!" Hermione screamed shrilly, while Ron moaned in pain. The Slytherins all started laughing, though Malfoy's chuckles sounded a bit forced. "Ron, come on, let's get you to the Hospital Wing," Hermione commanded, paying no attention to the Slytherins or their laughter, though Ginny's face turned a bright red.

Harry hastily steered her away from any sort of retribution she might have in mind. With Ginny's hand tucked firmly in his own, Harry turned to follow his friends, but a rough hand grabbed his arm. "Where're you going, Potter?" Zabini wanted to know, his mouth twisted in an ugly sneer. "You're girlfriend's not a Mudblood." He grinned, eyeing Ginny.

Harry shivered at the way the Slytherin said girlfriend. Harry's grip tightened against Ginny's hand he started to move away again. "Hate to see something happen to her, though...she is a blood-traitor after all...all the Weasleys are," Nott told him seriously, and Harry spun back around at the barely veiled threat in Nott's words. He pulled his wand out automatically and pointed it at the little group of Slytherins, his anger and fear spilling over before he could stop it.

"Stay away from us," Harry warned, his wand steady. The rest of the Slytherins pulled out their own wands, including Malfoy though Harry thought the other boy looked a little ill, his wand trembling ever so slightly in his hand.

"What is the meaning of this?" a haughty voice demanded and Harry's veins turned to ice. Malfoys' gray eyes widened

"Father!"

Reaching automatically for Ginny, Harry spun around and shoved Ginny behind him simultaneously, his wand thrust out in front of him as he stopped moving, the tip leveled straight at Lucius Malfoy. Harry's hand didn't even falter as he registered his father standing beside Lucius, his mind moving quickly to strengthen his shields, to cover his surprise and relief before anyone else had time to notice.

The group of Slytherins backed up a few paces behind Malfoy, as though using him as a shield against their Head of House, and perhaps Lucius as well.

"Put away your wands," Severus ordered sharply and Harry pushed his wand back into his sleeve though he realized only seconds later that it might have been more in keeping with their act for him to protest a bit. Harry hoped nobody had noticed.

Severus' eyes raked over the gathered crowd of students. "All of you, away from the steps," he snapped and the students scrambled to comply until the only students left nearby were Harry, Ginny and Malfoy.

"Pulling a wand on another student, Mr. Potter?" Malfoy scolded with a vindictive smile, before turning to Severus. "I trust Mr. Potter and his little friend will be punished accordingly," Lucius drawled, with narrowed eyes. Severus' black eyes flashed.

"I assure you they will be," he promised darkly. Harry swallowed nervously, realizing that his father's words were probably not entirely for the Malfoys' benefit.

"Excellent," Lucius approved with another haughty smile. "Come, Draco," he commanded in Malfoy's general direction. The Malfoys moved away from the castle as well.

Without pausing, Severus said coldly, "Both of you come with me." Harry, his stomach doing quick flip flops, obeyed immediately as his father spun on his heel and began marching up the wide steps. Ginny followed suit and Harry tried to ignore both the curious and sympathetic stares as the two of them followed the Potions Master into the castle.

Severus led them to the Headmaster's office without a word. "Sugared Dapple Spice," he snapped to the Gargoyle. The three of them spun upward slowly, giving Harry ample time to think of about a million excuses for why he'd attempted to hex Malfoy twice now. First thing he needed to do though was to get Ginny out of there. She definitely did not need to be on the receiving end one of his father's lectures.

"Sit," Severus directed as soon as the door was closed firmly behind them.

"Ginny didn't do anything. She doesn't need to be here," Harry told his father, instead of sitting.

His father narrowed his eyes. "You are aware of the new rule that students may not be alone in the castle, I trust?" he asked, though Harry knew the question was rhetorical. He sighed.

"All right, so she can't leave but really, she had nothing to do with this." Harry wanted to make that clear before any yelling began.

His father considered him for a moment before asking sarcastically, "Were you under the impression that I intended to include Ms. Weasley in the admonishment I am about to give you?"

"Erm..." was all Harry could come up with.

His father shook his head, his eyes blazing. "Unfortunately, since Ms. Weasley cannot leave without you, she will not be able to escape a lecture but this one, Harry, is directed solely at you," he assured his son, his tone hardening with each word. When Harry didn't respond, his father continued, his voice harsh now, "Do you have any idea of how foolish it was to raise your wand like that?"

"Did you even realize there were half a dozen seventh year Slytherins further up the stairs?" Severus demanded. Harry hadn't noticed. "If Lucius and I had not been there, you would most likely have had even more wands aimed at you," his father informed him angrily. Ginny, beside him, was watching Severus with a strange look on her face.

"I didn't mean-"

But his father wasn't about to be deterred; his face twisted into a scowl. "Every single one of them could have claimed it as a defensive act. It would have been extremely easy for any of those seventh years to simply knock you unconscious and then whisk you away in the ensuing chaos. Had I not intervened, you might be with Voldemort right now!" his father spat, now leaning closely toward Harry. Then he pulled back abruptly and turned away.

Ignoring Ginny's shock, Harry let his heart rate settle a bit before saying quietly, "I'm sorry." But he knew the apology wouldn't help. This wasn't really about his attempting to hex another student. As daft as Harry sometimes was, even he could see that.

His father turned back around and snapped, "Your apology means little if you continue to act so rashly."

Harry nodded quickly, knowing his father was right. "All right," he nodded, "I get it."

"Do you, Harry?" his father asked, his voice intense though somehow gentler as he stepped closer to Harry. "Do you really understand all that is at stake here?" he demanded softly.

Harry swallowed, not sure how to answer. Of course he knew that he had acted without thinking. And of course he understood what would happen if someone did find a way to bring him to Voldemort, not to mention what would happen to Severus if Voldemort managed to break into Harry's mind. Why then, did he keep doing things that were so incredibly stupid?

Seeming to sense Harry's confusion, Severus said quietly, "Keeping guard of your emotions will assist in tempering your reactions in a situation such as this."

Harry furrowed his brow. "But I have my shields up, like you said I should," he told his father, confused.

Severus eyed him carefully. "You have only minimal memories shielded?" he asked. Harry knew he meant the ones that would be dangerous for Voldemort to find, so he nodded.

His father nodded briskly. "Memories are separate from emotions. You do not need to bury your emotions under your shields. As we have discussed, it is in fact not wise to do so. I believe however that you may need to work on keeping better control over your emotions."

"Harry can't shut down his emotions," Ginny protested, seeming finally to find her voice again. Severus glanced at her.

"I am not in fact suggesting that, Ms. Weasley. He does however need to keep his emotions under control."

Feeling slight deja vue, Harry asked, "How do I do that?"

His father's face relaxed and Harry thought he probably would have smiled if he had been anyone other than who he was. "I will show you."

Harry didn't even hesitate before nodding. Then remembering Ginny, he asked quickly, "Right now?"

"Do you have something more important to do?" Severus inquired sharply.

Harry smiled. "No. I just meant because Ginny's here."

"I don't mind," Ginny quickly interjected and then frowned as Severus' gaze found her. "Unless you do, Professor," she offered, sounding more like Hermione than herself.

Severus' face blanked. "I have no objection to your presence."

Sensing his father's discomfort, Harry offered, "We could work on it on Tuesday."

His father shook his head. "It is foolish to leave yourself unguarded when I can just as easily teach you now." His tone left no more room for arguments so Harry shrugged. Severus turned to Ginny again. "Ms. Weasley, if you would take a seat, please." Surprise flashed in Ginny's eyes before she nodded quickly and sat in one of Dumbledore's chairs.

Severus turned back to Harry. "Do you remember our discussion about your godfather?" he asked unexpectedly and for some reason, Harry tensed.

"Er, yes, sir," he said slowly. His father narrowed his eyes, in what Harry might have called a calculating manner if he hadn't known Severus better. Harry waited for his father to continue.

"And do you further remember that you attempted to push the emotions surrounding those memories beneath your shields after I broke through?"

Harry still had no idea what possible point any of this had as he began to feel rather hot. "Yes, sir," he agreed with a nod, trying not to sound too impatient for the man to get to it already.

Severus clenched his jaw briefly before relaxing again and saying simply, "You did that without thinking. It was a reflex. You need to get into the habit of keeping your strongest emotions at bay."

Harry nodded. "What do I need to do?" he asked.

"I will enter your mind, as I did the first time and I will guide you through an exercise," his father explained, taking a step to close the distance between them. "Are you ready, Harry?" he asked.

"Ready."

His father's fingers found the side of Harry's face and cupped it gently against his palm. Harry looked up and into Severus' eyes as he felt the tip of the other man's wand against his temple. His father whispered the same spell he had used the first time they had done this, and Harry all at once felt the slow familiar presence of his fathers' mind in his own.

The presence was gentle again, a cozy warmth instead of a raging inferno and Harry didn't strengthen his shields against it.

You are content, the flames surmised and Harry's mind agreed. He did indeed feel content with his father's warm hand against his cheek.

Show me what you felt when we spoke of your godfather, the flames commanded gently. A feeling of cold rushed at Harry's conscious.

This is not grief. The flames were confused.

Worry, the storm answered automatically.

That you will be abandoned? The flames flickered with sadness and the storm became rough and black with its agreement.

Anger? The flames reared up in surprise and then softened quickly to become a cozy warmth again beside the storm. Love.

The storm stilled with its astonishment and then slowly the black storm calmed again, its darkness lightening to an even gray.

You are content. The flames were satisfied.

You love me? The chill ran through the cloud again.

I do. Warmth, steady and strong, and the storm was quiet again.

With a whispered spell, Harry floated back to awareness. His father's hand was still on his face and Harry found his own eyelashes damp with tears. Severus held his gaze and Harry saw that same warmth, that same love he'd just seen inside his mind. He'd seen that warmth before in his father's eyes he realized; he had just never recognized what it meant. Harry smiled. His father smiled his small, familiar smile before letting his hand drop.

"My shields need to stay that way...contented?" Harry finally ventured. His father nodded.

"You will need to be very careful at first to keep them so. In time, it will come naturally to you, as Occlumency seems to." Severus' voice was steady, showing no sign of discomfort and Harry smiled again. His father's lips twitched.

"You will need to calm your thoughts if they stray. Practice daily, as you do with your shields."

Harry nodded. "All right," he agreed. And then he remembered that Ginny was with them and he turned around, stepping toward her. She was still sitting in the same chair, with a look of, well...awe on her pretty face, though Harry thought she looked a bit sad as well. "Gin?" he said quietly and she started, obviously completely lost in her thoughts. Severus was watching her now as well, his face carefully stiff.

Ginny shook her head as though to clear her mind. She nodded and stood up. And then she turned fully to Severus and stepping closer to him, she tilted her face up to look at him. "Thank you," she said simply, in the same way Tonks had said it to Harry in the Infirmary and Harry almost laughed at Ginny's daring.

Severus blinked once in response and then nodded curtly. He stepped back. "You are no doubt missing festivities in Gryffindor," he remarked dryly, immediately changing the subject.

"It's your fault Slytherin lost, you know," Harry told his father cheerfully. "You did wish me luck," he said with a smirk.

Severus favored him with a cool look. "I would have preferred that you had bested Hufflepuff."

"We'll do that as well," Harry informed him airily.

"Oh, I have no doubt," his father agreed, his eyes glinting. Harry grinned. "You had better be on your way then," Severus said, inclining his head toward the door.

Harry nodded and tugged Ginny's hand. She was still staring at Severus. "Bye," Harry said quickly which was echoed by Ginny belatedly. Severus inclined his head.

Harry pulled Ginny to the door. "Harry," she breathed as they rotated back to the ground floor, "do you even see how much he cares about you?" She smiled slowly. "I really had no idea," she murmured, shaking her head in amazement. Harry pulled Ginny closer to him and grinned. He'd had no idea either.

--

Albus' office was full to bursting as Severus entered through the Floo Tuesday evening. Except for Lupin, Severus was the last to arrive. He had spent the last five minutes when he should have been here, explaining to his son just why he could not attend tonight's Order meeting. After finally managing to extract a gusty sigh of acceptance from Harry, Severus had sent him on to Lupin's office so he could be escorted back to the Tower.

It had been a rarely comfortable evening between the two of them during their Occlumency lesson. They hadn't spent much time actually practicing however, as Harry had seemed unable to still the parade of commentary about his various exploits over the years. And Severus had been strangely willing to forget their lesson as he listened to his son regaling him with tales of the various adventures he and his friends had had. He had especially enjoyed Harry's recounting of his Care of Magical Creatures classes.

He could not imagine what Albus had been thinking when he'd given the position to the half-giant, though Severus had to admit grudgingly that Hagrid had been good to Harry. Severus could even admit to himself the pang of jealousy that had stabbed at him as Harry described his first visit to Diagon Alley with the groundskeeper. He gave nothing away though as he nodded, his eyes glinting in amusement at Harry's obvious wonder at the phenomenon that was Diagon Alley. But most of all, Severus had been relieved at his son's acceptance of his earlier declaration; Harry's ease throughout the evening was evidence enough.

Severus pulled his mind away from Harry as he sat as far from the group in Albus' office as was possible, preferring not to allow others into his personal space. He noted with a fair amount of satisfaction that no one made any move to talk to him and Albus, in particular, was avoiding Severus' gaze. Severus could not think of a more preferable way for Albus to be feeling than his rather obvious discomfiture.

When the Headmaster's door opened a few moments later, Lupin came in, going immediately to take his seat next to Ms. Tonks. Lupin glanced over at Severus with a smile and a nod, letting the Potions Master know that Harry had made it safely back to his dorm. Nodding curtly at his son's friend, Severus turned his attention back to Albus, ignoring the brief wash of relief that surged through him.

Albus cleared his throat lightly. The scattered conversations around the room ceased instantly. No matter how many faults the Headmaster had, he did command a formidable amount of respect from his colleagues. And for years, for Harry, that had meant more pain that Severus ever cared to revisit. Severus halted that train of thought; he cleared his mind to focus on what Albus was saying to the other members of the Order. And as he did, he wished he hadn't. He had no desire either to think about Halloween.

"It will have been fifteen years since he succeeded in giving Harry his scar. Voldemort will be most anxious to finish what he started."

"Hogwarts and their surrounding grounds, as well as Hogsmeade, will be placed under even heavier guard," Shacklebolt informed the others, all of whom nodded.

"The Ministry Aurors will be shoring up their defenses as well, and sending one or two of their own here to protect the students," added Jonah Farnsworth, an Order spy at the Ministry.

"Tonks and I have managed to secure ourselves a place again at Hogwarts for the evening," Shacklebolt put in and Albus nodded.

"What about Harry?" Molly Weasley asked anxiously.

"Someone will be with Harry all night, Mrs. Weasley," Ms. Tonks assured Molly.

"Harry's friends will need to be under guard as well," Shacklebolt added. Molly and her husband glanced at one another nervously. "At least three of the seventh year Slytherins have been given orders to find a way to bring Harry to You Know Who by that night," Shacklebolt continued, and the implication made Molly pale.

Severus pushed down his own rising tide of anxiety concerning his son. It was only made worse with Albus' next statement.

"Voldemort, as he has every other year since his return, will certainly gather his Death Eaters around him. And without Harry, he is going to be extremely cross."

Everyone turned to look at Severus, who firmed his jaw in determination. He did not like the looks of pity that flashed across most of their faces; he appreciated even less the slightly fearful expression in Lupin's eyes, especially as he knew it was fear that something would happen to cause Harry to grieve for him.

Stoking his raging shield so that all thoughts concerning Harry were carefully occluded, he glared at the Order members around the room, causing a few of them to look away. Lupin, ever a courageous Gryffindor, held Severus' gaze.

"Information gathered at the meeting may have vital importance," he told all of them icily.

"Poppy," Albus said as he turned to the Mediwitch, "I will need you standing by in the Infirmary."

Poppy nodded briskly, accepting quickly that Severus would most likely need her services. Lupin swallowed and finally looked away. Severus found himself unsettled by that somehow.

"Albus," Molly began nervously and all eyes turned to her, "if all of the precautions are not enough..." She couldn't finish. Arthur squeezed her hand.

Albus smiled kindly at the red-haired woman. "Severus will be able to get himself, and anyone else, away from Voldemort if necessary," he told her and everyone in the room again looked toward Severus. Molly's eyes, in particular, were boring into Severus' own, screaming silently at him for a confirmation.

He only nodded sharply. Molly barely relaxed. She remained agitated throughout the rest of the meeting, not saying one more word until Albus concluded the meeting with more dire warnings about the children. Molly whispered something to Arthur and neither of them moved as the other Order members took their turns with the Floo.

When only Severus, Lupin, Minerva and Albus remained, Molly turned to Albus. "We need to speak to our children....and Harry," she rushed out, her voice sounding strained.

Albus only nodded, not even asking her any questions; it was fairly obvious what she wanted to say to her children. Severus tensed with worry over his son's reaction.

"Minerva, would you mind?" Albus asked and after a quick nod, Minerva left to get Harry and his friends. Albus' office remained silent until the door opened again.

Harry, along with the two Weasleys and Ms. Granger, cautiously entered the room, obviously not knowing what to expect. The Weasleys grinned when they saw their parents and rushed over for hugs. Severus felt a pang as Harry simply glanced in his direction, bit his bottom lip and followed his friends.

After Molly had fawned over her offspring, she smiled warmly at Harry and pulled him into her embrace as well. Harry smiled, adjusting his glasses as he pulled away.

"What are you doing here?" Ron asked his mother while she was embracing the Granger girl.

Molly shifted nervously.

"Your mother and I are concerned about your safety," Arthur said to his two children.

Harry stiffened next to Ms. Weasley. "Because of me, you mean?" he asked, his voice tight. Severus ached to go over to his son, to help ease the pain he read all over the boy's face. But he stayed, on the other side of the room, pretending he didn't care at all about his own son.

Molly patted Harry's arm, distractedly it seemed to Severus. "Of course it's not your fault, dear-"

"Harry, it is possible that Voldemort may use your friends to get to you," Albus interrupted.

Harry paled. Severus sought Lupin's gaze. Glancing quickly, once toward Harry and back again, Severus glared pointedly. Without a word, Lupin moved toward Harry, who was beginning to look unsteady.

"Harry, why don't you sit down?" Lupin suggested gently and moved Harry quickly to sit.

Ms. Weasley, who had moved closer to Harry as well, placed a hand firmly on his arm. "What can we do, then?" the girl asked Albus, as if preparing to arm herself for battle.

Molly straightened her shoulders, in what was most likely an unconscious imitation of her daughter's own stance. "Your father and I have discussed it and think it might be best for both of you to come home," she said firmly. Even Severus couldn't halt the quick flash of surprise in his eyes at the pronouncement. As he narrowed his eyes to consider its logic however, he found he could understand her reasoning. Her children however did not seem to share that understanding.

"What?" Weasley cried. "You want us to abandon Harry?" he asked furiously.

"Absolutely not, Mum," Ms. Weasley said stoutly.

Molly shook her head, before darting an annoyed glance toward the Headmaster. "Of course I don't want you to abandon, Harry! As I've told the Headmaster over and over, Harry should be secured in a safe location, not paraded all over Hogwarts!" The Weasley matron's voice had gone rather shrill and Severus watched her in distaste though in reality, he was in perfect agreement. Nothing would please him more than to remove Harry from Hogwarts.

Permanently.

"Now, Molly, that's not our choice," Arthur soothed his wife. He turned apologetically to Harry. "You know Molly and I think of you as one of our own, Harry. And we have asked Professor Dumbledore, as Molly said, but it isn't our decision..."

Harry didn't answer. He didn't even look up, but Severus could tell by the way Harry's fingers were wound together that it would not take much more before his son would crack. Lupin put a steadying hand on Harry's shoulder.

"Harry is perfectly safe here, Molly," he told the Weasleys

"Ron and Ginny, as well," Albus assured them. "As long as all of the children abide by the rule never to be alone, Hogwarts is a much heartier protector than almost anywhere else we could find...including the Burrow." The Headmaster was smiling calmly and after a few quiet moments, Molly nodded jerkily.

And then she glared around at the four children. "None of you is ever to be alone...not even for a minute, do you understand me?" she asked, her voice like steel.

"Not even to go to the loo?" the imbecile called Weasley asked with a smirk. Molly however took the question seriously.

"Not even in the loo," she snapped, "or I'll have you home so fast, you won't even have time to pull up your trousers!"

Weasley's face turned bright red. "Mum!" he objected, to which Molly only continued to glare. Weasley turned away, muttering.

Albus cleared his throat lightly. "Harry, if you would stay behind, Professor McGonagall can escort the other children back to the Tower." In spite of himself, Severus felt a quick prick of gratitude toward the Headmaster for realizing Severus would want a word with his son.

Minerva nodded and gestured for the Weasleys and Ms. Granger to follow. The Weasley girl leaned in first to say something quietly to Harry, who nodded stiffly. Ms. Weasley squeezed Harry's hand quickly and followed Minerva, though she did pause to send a reproachful look toward her parents. Neither Molly nor Arthur had any response and as soon as the children left, Molly was staring helplessly at Harry.

Arthur took his wife's hand to guide her toward the Floo and Molly seemed to come back to herself. She rushed over to Harry and gathered the boy in her arms, pulling him upward. Harry stood stiffly in her embrace. "Take care of yourself, Harry," she pleaded thickly and Harry only nodded. Sniffling, Molly pulled away and followed Arthur into the Floo, dabbing at her eyes as she went.

As soon as they disappeared, Severus finally went to his son, feeling relieved, but Harry didn't let him speak.

"She's right."

"What do you mean?" Severus inquired quietly, willing to let Harry talk through whatever was on his mind.

"They should abandon me."

Well, Severus had not expected that to be on his son's mind.

"Harry, don't say that!" Lupin exclaimed quietly, sounding scandalized.

Severus ignored him in favor of asking Harry, "Why?"

Harry finally looked up; his expression was almost blank. "Why?" he repeated, as though not sure himself. "So they won't get hurt."

"Do you really believe the Dark Lord will change his plans if your friends appear to abandon you?" Severus asked, his voice very low.

His son looked down at the rug again. "No," he answered, in the same low tone.

"Precautions will be taken," Severus assured him.

"That won't guarantee anything," Harry told him, turning his eyes to Severus, as though hoping for a denial. But Severus was not going to lie to him.

"No, it does not."

Harry swallowed, his eyes blank. "What am I supposed to do then?" he asked.

"You will continue as you always have, Harry. There is nothing else you can do." Severus knew he was not exactly the ideal person to be giving this particular piece of advice to anyone but for some reason Harry nodded, though he didn't lose the almost haunted look that had crossed over his features.

"Yeah," he answered dully.

Studying his son, Severus asked suddenly, "Are your shields up?"

Harry didn't even seem surprised by the question. "Of course."

"I think you need to modulate their strength a bit." When Harry looked confused, Severus explained, "Your reactions are more subdued than I would expect."

Harry stared at him and then shrugged. "Better to keep Voldemort in the dark, then."

Severus pursed his lips. Harry was obviously more distraught than he was admitting to. His lack of any sort of reaction indicated just how much he was shielding; his son was reminding him too much of himself.

"Harry," Severus said, changing his tone slightly to get the boy's attention. Harry raised his eyebrows, his face still too calm. "I already explained to you that you cannot use your shields to bury your emotions."

Harry raised an eyebrow in a peculiar imitation of Severus. "You do," he challenged, a bit of an edge creeping into his voice.

Severus stilled the smile that fought for space on his lips. His tactic successful, he pressed, "I assure you Harry, that mine is not an example you should follow in this."

After a moment's intense consideration of, Harry sat heavily back in his chair. "I can't let them be hurt because of me," he explained miserably, now sounding much more himself. "Voldemort already used Ginny once to get to me, and she was only Ron's sister then."

"Harry, nobody could have possibly predicted that. This is different," Lupin interjected, still standing across from Severus.

Severus found himself nodding before he had time to consider that he was actually agreeing with the werewolf. He frowned with the realization and then he had to cover his further surprise that Harry was watching him carefully, as though asking for a confirmation of Lupin's words.

"Your friends will be protected," he assured his son. "Yours and their safety are the Order's first priority."

Harry nodded after a moment though he didn't really look any less worried than he had when they'd started this conversation, and Severus suspected that this would not be the final discussion on the topic. For now though, he would let the subject drop.

"There are other concerns that were addressed at the meeting," Severus said, changing the subject. Harry raised his eyebrows. Severus ignored the almost identical expression on the strangely reticent Headmaster's face as he continued, "I would like to add some defensive training to our lessons."

"Really?" Harry asked, some eagerness finding its way into his voice, but then he tilted his head as he considered that. "But what about the D.A.?"

"We'll still continue with it," Lupin told him. "The other students still need to be trained as well, just in case."

Harry nodded slowly before turning back to Severus. "What are you going to teach me?"

"Spending so much time with the Dark Lord has had its advantages. There are many useful spells and curses which fall under the category of Dark Arts. It would be wise to master as many as possible. The element of surprise alone will gain us considerable ground during a battle," Severus explained.

"A battle?" Harry echoed, his eyebrows raised in surprise.

Severus nodded as he explained, "The Dark Lord will eventually attack Hogwarts when he does not manage to get to you any other way."

The muscles around Harry's jaw jerked convulsively, though Severus could not fathom why they would.

"And what about you?" his son asked, and the barely perceptible tremor in Harry's voice caused Severus to frown.

"Harry, if and when the Dark Lord attacks Hogwarts, my loyalties will hardly be the most important issue at hand," Severus drawled, forcing the amusement from his voice. Harry's fears were hardly funny.

And indeed, his son's emerald eyes flashed angrily. "But, they'll still be an issue. Aren't you supposed to be one of Voldemort's most loyal Death Eaters?" he demanded.

Severus took a quiet breath before answering, not entirely certain that it was wise to. "I am. I will not, however, be the only of his followers to betray him should it come to that."

Harry narrowed his eyes as he considered that bit of news. "You mean Malfoy?" When Severus hesitated, his son's eyes widened. "There are others?" he asked in amazement.

Severus pursed his lips, deciding that, indeed, he should have kept this to himself. "Not all of the original Death Eaters were pleased by the Dark Lord's return." At Harry's look of confusion, Severus waved an impatient hand, wishing he had never begun this conversation. "Most of them were living quite happily before he returned and now they are no longer the masters of their own lives; the Dark Lord controls everything they do now."

"But shouldn't they have realized that before?" Harry asked, bewildered.

Severus sighed as he took in how young his son really was. "You are not old enough to realize that time can bring with it a new perspective," Severus told him. Instead of bristling about the slight against his maturity, Harry nodded slowly as he considered Severus' words.

"So, how many defectors are there?" Harry asked after he'd paused long enough.

Well, that was enough of that. Severus shook his head. "I think you have heard enough Order business for one night," he said lightly.

"Just a bit more?" Harry asked, leaning forward.

"No," Severus answered immediately. Harry smirked.

"Oh come on, one more answer won't matter," he cajoled.

"It is past curfew," was Severus' less than helpful answer.

"So?" Harry shrugged, still smiling. "I'm with two professors."

Severus raised an eyebrow at Harry's cheek. "Both of whom can take points," Severus reminded him.

Harry glanced at Lupin, who was smiling as well. "Yeah, right. Remus never takes points from anyone." Harry's eyes narrowed and he mused, "Hmm...come to think of it, you haven't taken points from me in forever either."

"An oversight, which will be more than corrected if you do not get up right now," Severus informed Harry in a hard tone, though it took considerable effort to keep his voice firm.

"Oh, fine," Harry groused as he pushed himself up from his chair. "Come on, Remus," he said with a dramatic sigh. Lupin shook his head in amusement, following Harry as he started toward the door.

Harry paused before reaching it, turning slightly, and smiling again. "Good night," he said.

Severus inclined his head, allowing his face to relax. "Good night, Harry."

As Severus watched his son walk out of the office with Lupin, he felt a moment of relief that the subject of Halloween had not come up, even as he realized he would not be able to avoid the topic forever. He would have to talk to Harry about it soon. With a somewhat weary sigh, Severus turned back to Albus, who was watching him with a bemused expression.