Lily's Charm

1996

Severus scowled ferociously at a tiny pair of Hufflepuff first years as he stormed his way to the Great Hall just before dinner. The frightened brats scurried quickly out of the Potions master's way and Severus wanted to smile at the terrified way they had scrambled away from him. Maybe if hadn't been in such a foul mood, he would have.

Damn Minerva.

The Deputy Headmistress had requested Severus' presence in her office earlier in the afternoon and had demanded that Severus join the rest of the staff for dinner. "You may not use your discomfort as an excuse any longer, Severus," the woman had told him pointedly, her eyes fiercer than usual. Severus had not been in the great hall once since Harry had left his office Thursday afternoon. Apparently, his reasons had been overbearingly transparent.

"I have been busy," Severus had lied stiffly, averting his eyes.

"So I hear," Minerva had said blandly.

Severus had narrowed his eyes at her tone. How dare Albus share his private affairs with Minerva...or had it perhaps been Lupin? He doubted though that the damned werewolf would have the temerity; Lupin was weak. Incensed at the Headmaster's audacity, Severus had snapped, "My private affairs are not your concern, Minerva."

"How you treat children in my House is most certainly my concern," she had snapped right back. Minerva had been chastising Severus for years about her maltreatment of her Gryffindors, and most especially of Potter. Her complaints however had done her little good as they fell on deaf eyes, not least of all, Severus'. Albus, though he occasionally admonished Severus to be kinder toward the students, didn't actually do much beyond that to encourage Severus to change his behavior.

Severus hadn't responded to Minerva's retort, preferring instead to favor Minerva with a rather cool look. After a few moments of icy silence, Minerva had sighed and told him to be in the Great Hall for dinner, no excuses.

So that was how Severus found himself stalking through the corridors toward the Great Hall, scattering nervous students in his wake. Seating himself at his place at the Head table, after noting the unusual absence of Poppy and Lupin, Severus completely ignored the Gryffindor table as he surveyed the assembled students. Severus noticed a few stragglers among his Slytherins and made a mental note to berate them in their common room before lights out.

Dinner appeared before him a moment later and Severus began eating, taking his time as he listened inconspicuously to the conversations between the other Professors at the table. Most of the inane chatter rolled off his ears until he heard Hagrid's heavily accented voice asking Minerva, "'Ow is 'Arry?"

Severus' eyes darkened at the implication of the question. He completely forgot his anger though with Minerva's worried answer, "He's responding to Poppy's treatments but slowly, I'm afraid." Severus' stomach turned to ice. Treatments? Why would Harry need treatments?

Severus kept his eyes on the plate in front of him as he blocked out all other mental intrusions to focus completely on Hagrid and Minerva. Hagrid was saying regretfully, "Ach, Professor. Bad blow, that. Bludgers are a nasty business." Bludgers...so Harry had been hurt playing Quidditch. But the season hadn't started yet....Had the Gryffindors held tryouts already? Surely not, as Severus would have heard about it from his own Quidditch team.

"Aye, Rubeus. Mr. Potter has a difficult night ahead of him," Minerva agreed as she shook her head.

Severus finished eating methodically as he considered this. He knew now, of course, why Poppy was absent from dinner, and decided that Lupin was most likely in the Hospital Wing as well. Of course Lupin was probably sitting next to Potter's bed, nervously clucking over the boy like an old mother hen, Severus thought with a sneer.

But Severus wondered why Poppy had not called for Severus' assistance, as she often did when a student was seriously injured. So Harry could not be as hurt as Minerva's concern had first led Severus to believe. What then, had she meant by 'treatments'? Severus frowned down at his empty plate and decided it would be irresponsible of him not to at least check with Poppy to ensure that she did not need any Potions. Severus, after all, was Hogwarts' Potions master.

The students were already beginning to leave the Great Hall as they finished their own meals, and so Severus pushed his chair back and excused himself. He saw Minerva eyeing him as he passed her but he ignored the irritated look on her pinched face as he hurried toward the teachers' exit at the end of the Head Table. He walked quickly toward the Hospital Wing, grateful that there were few students in the corridors.

Severus made it to the infirmary in only a few short minutes. Poppy looked up as he entered. "Severus, thank Merlin! I asked Filch to fetch you an hour ago," she snapped, sounding extremely annoyed. Severus looked at the Healer in surprise.

"Forgive me, Poppy. I only heard about Potter's injuries moments ago," he explained; she looked confused for a moment, but then she turned briskly back to the bed she was standing next to. Severus moved toward it slowly. His breath hitched in his chest as he found his son lying pale and bruised under the sheet.

"What happened?" he murmured. Poppy gave him a considering look and Severus schooled his features, realizing belatedly that he was acting a fool, standing here gawking at Potter.

"He was hit by a Bludger during a Quidditch game with his housemates. He fell from fifty meters up," Poppy told him matter-of-factly and Severus had to stifle a gasp. Fifty meters!

"Such a fall should have killed him," Severus informed the Healer smoothly.

Poppy eyed the Potions Master again and nodded curtly. "Ms. Granger had the presence of mind to apply a Cushioning Charm. Unfortunately, Mr. Potter was bounced off on impact. The Charm was a bit too...enthusiastic," she told him, clearly annoyed at the stupid girl's mistake. Severus agreed, of course; he'd always known the little know-it-all was not nearly as clever as she so obviously beliebhgved herself to be.

Poppy moved aside slightly as Severus withdrew his wand from his sleeve. He waved it over the boy with practiced ease and experienced a sense of déjà vu. He frowned as he remembered the same movement of his wand over Lily in St. Mungo's almost seventeen years ago. Severus clenched his jaw in agitation, for allowing such thoughts to surface. He clamped the errant memory down swiftly and continued his assessment of Potter.

The boy had numerous broken and shattered bones, cuts and contusions. He was even slightly concussed, Severus noted as his wand moved above Potter's tender hairline. Severus completed his scan and slid his wand away. "Ossifying Potion," he guessed; the Potion worked best on shattered bones when it was fresh, though it wasn't strictly necessary. As Poppy had not yet given any to Potter, Severus inferred that she had been waiting for him to arrive before administering her own stored Potion.

Poppy nodded and added, "And a stronger Painkilling Draught from your stores, if you would...as Mr. Potter has had to wait for you to start on the other."

Severus bristled at the Healer's tone but decided his irritated response would most likely be met with more suspicion from Poppy so he simple nodded at her. "I will have it sent with a house-elf as soon as I reach my quarters."

Poppy nodded. Severus turned toward the Floo. As he did, the infirmary doors opened and Lupin hurried in. He stopped in surprise when he saw Severus. The werewolf's face immediately shifted in anger. "What are you doing here?" he demanded.

"I am the Potions master, Lupin. Who else do you suppose should be here to find out which potions Mr. Potter requires?"

"Perhaps someone who actually cares about making sure Harry gets well," Lupin countered.

Severus clenched his fist and opened his mouth to retort but Poppy interrupted. "You boys can squabble later. Right now, Severus, Mr. Potter needs those Potions!" Severus snapped his mouth closed and without another word, he whirled and went to Poppy's Floo. Glaring at Lupin, Severus flung the Floo powder down and called for his private quarters. The Floo obliged immediately.

--

It was hours later and in almost complete darkness that Severus stepped through Poppy's Floo again. He had informed the Mediwitch earlier that he would dose Potter with the Ossifying Potion himself as soon as he finished it and so Severus had brought the little vial with him as he entered the room.

Severus knew Poppy was sleeping in her office tonight, as was her habit when she had a student in the infirmary and so, out of his own habit to protect his privacy, Severus placed both Silencing and Locking Charms on the door to Poppy's office as well as the door out of the infirmary.

He went over to the boy's bed slowly so he wouldn't wake him. A shaft of moonlight was lighting his form and again Severus was startled by how pale Potter's face was; the dark bruises stood out starkly against the unnaturally pallid flesh. After a moment's uneasy consideration, Severus cast a spell to send the contents of the little vial right into Harry's stomach, deciding that it was best not to wake him, not least of all because he needed his sleep.

Deciding to wait to ensure that Potter didn't have a negative reaction to the Potion, Severus conjured a chair from a corner of the room and then pulled it closer to the bed. He sat down quietly, his eyes remaining on the boy's still face. He looked so peaceful as he lay there...so innocent and the accursed feeling of déjà vu touched Severus again as he stared at Potter...so like the younger Harry that he had sat vigil with, one long night, fifteen years ago.

Harry lay fitfully in his father's arms and a small whimper escaped the little boy's lips.

"Shhh, Harry," Severus soothed in a quiet voice, rocking both of them gently back and forth in Lily's Muggle rocking chair.

Harry continued to struggle lightly and Severus gently ran his fingers through the little boy's damp black hair, matching the movements to the rhythm of the chair. After a few minutes, Harry quieted and his green eyes began to droop again. Severus pressed his lips to his son's forehead briefly and smiled slightly as he watched Harry drifting into a more peaceful sleep.

Severus finally stood and with careful movements, he placed Harry into his crib. He rearranged the emerald green blanket that James had given them the day Harry had been born. Severus watched Harry's little chest rise and fall with gentle movements before reaching out again to smooth his son's raven shock of hair. When he was satisfied that the little boy was soundly asleep, Severus moved Lily's chair closer to the bed and sat down quietly, keeping a watchful eye on his son.

Severus had spent the whole night, keeping vigil over Harry, monitoring him each time he woke, for signs of a renewed fever. He remembered with a small smile, Lily's grin when she had found them the next morning, with Harry nestled peacefully in her husband's arms, Harry's fingers gripping his father's robes tightly in his little fist.

As Severus watched his sleeping son now, his heart beat a little faster with the nervousness he was feeling. Hesitantly...slowly, Severus reached out a hand, the same hand he had soothed the same boy with, all those years ago. The calloused hand hovered near Harry's shoulder and then with uncertain movements, Severus reached out further and lightly brushed the fringe of black hair back from the boy's eyes. As he exposed Voldemort's scar, Severus' gut contracted painfully.

He willed himself to remain calm as he used his finger to gently trace the lightening bolt shape, thinking of Lily as he did. Lily had sacrificed herself to save their son; Severus' throat tightened with long ignored emotion. Harry moved his head slightly and Severus almost pulled his hand away but Harry didn't appear to be waking up; only restless with the vague movements of a slightly disturbed sleep. Harry inhaled deeply and smiled, making Severus tilt his head curiously, wondering what he had been thinking about.

"Thanks, Remus," the boy suddenly muttered and Severus' long fingers stilled against Harry's hair. His jaw clenched as he allowed anger to grip him instead of letting himself give into the unfamiliar rush of jealously that threatened to surge through him. He had a sudden urge to go straight to Lupin's quarters and shake the werewolf furiously. But, he admitted wearily, as much as he might wish it to be, this was not Lupin's fault.

He should have told Harry how much he had loved his mother and how much he had loved him. Severus should have explained why he had treated the boy so unjustly...explained exactly how warped he had become over the years. Severus quietly smoothed Harry's hair again; he enjoyed the sound of his son sighing in contentment, even if Harry was contented by the thought of the werewolf, rather than him.

How could he have tried to convince himself that he did not want to claim this boy? This boy was his boy. After all these years, Harry was his to protect again. He had lost too much once. He would not lose his son again, Severus decided fiercely as he watched the slow rise and fall of Harry's chest.

xxxxx

Harry hadn't come down yet from the mass of confusing emotions that roiled inside him, when Madame Pomfrey bustled in soon after he woke up. Harry had propped himself up gingerly and allowed Pomfrey to fuss over him before plying him again with potions and salves, including a particularly vile green potion that Harry didn't think he'd had to swallow yesterday.

Pomfrey clucked her tongue repeatedly and told Harry sternly to "stay still" at least a half a dozen times before finally allowing him his breakfast tray and rushing off to another task. Harry was feeling much better this morning, especially since he could actually use his left arm again, though he still couldn't feel his legs. His left side had sustained most of the damage from Harry's fall and then again, as he'd been bucked off Hermione's Cushioning Charm.

Harry smiled slightly as he thought of his bushy-haired friend, her cheeks flaming in embarrassment as Ron had explained to Madame Pomfrey what had happened. Hermione had apologized over and over again until Ron mercifully ushered her out when the tears began to appear. Harry wasn't surprised therefore to see Ginny stroll in alone after he had finished his breakfast; Hermione was probably still too upset to see him.

As soon as Ginny walked in, Harry blurted out, "Snape was here last night."

"Snape?" Ginny repeated, surprised. Harry nodded and his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Ginny perched herself near Harry's feet, being careful not to jostle the bed.

"It was strange. He came in here and just sat all night." He didn't want to tell Ginny how Snape had brushed a hand across his forehead...because that would mean Harry would have to admit to the warm glow that had been building all morning in his chest at the thought of it.

Ginny was grinning at him and Harry thought she looked a little smug; Harry couldn't' help smiling at the expression. Ginny had been on to something, it seemed. Snape must feel something more than hatred for him, if he would stay all night with him in the infirmary. But even though Harry felt warmed by the gesture, he couldn't help feeling dismayed as well because he was certain that Snape wouldn't have come at all if he had had any idea that Harry would discover he had been here.

That made Harry wonder what Snape would have done if he'd woken up to find the Professor keeping vigil over him. Harry was pretty sure, whatever Snape's reaction would have been, it probably would have involved some sort of raging about Harry being an insufferable brat. For some reason, the image made Harry grin.

"What?" Ginny asked, intrigued by his swift change in mood. But Harry just shook his head and turned the conversation instead to Hermione and Ron. They talked for awhile longer about nothing in particular, with Harry carefully steering Ginny away from any sort of conversation that could have led back to Snape. Although, he was certain that Ginny had noticed his badly disguised tactic, she didn't comment on it.

When Pomfrey brought Harry's lunch tray over to him a few hours later with a very strong suggestion that Ginny should be getting to her own lunch, Ginny gave Harry a reluctant wave and left. Harry realized after only a few bites that he wasn't very hungry, and what he really wanted to do was sleep. He pushed the tray down near his toes and laid his head gingerly back against the pillow. He hadn't noticed how much his head was beginning to ache as he'd been too caught up in his conversation with Ginny.

Well, he had had a concussion after he'd fallen last night and Promfrey had also explained that though it had been fixed almost instantly, along with most of his broken bones, some of the injuries had required a freshly-made batch of Ossifying Potion which needed to be administered in four doses. And she'd also told him that all the potions would make him very tired as they worked their way through his system.

So Harry decided not to fight it, though he felt a bit funny sleeping in the middle of the day. He didn't have much time to dwell on it however as he was quickly drifting off to sleep. When Harry woke again, the Infirmary was dark, lit only by a few muted torches. Damn. He hadn't meant to sleep for so long...he had slept through dinner, he realized as his stomach rumbled softly.

Picking his wand up from the small table beside his bed, Harry muttered, "Lumos," with a quick wave. The tip lit up and Harry arced the wand back and forth a bit to find out if perhaps Pomfrey had left some dinner for him. He didn't see any food, but there were a lot of cards on the table next to him, as well as a folded square of parchment. Harry plucked it off the table and unfolded it. It was from Remus.

Harry, it began, you were sleeping when I came by after lunch. I didn't want to wake you. If you need anything tonight, please use the Floo to call me in my quarters. Take care of yourself. It was signed simply, Remus

Harry smiled at Remus' invitation to Floo him if he needed to. Actually, Harry realized reluctantly, he rather missed the Floo-chats he and Remus had had while Harry was staying at the Burrow over the last few weeks of the summer holidays. Maybe he'd ask Remus tomorrow if they might visit on a regular basis here at Hogwarts as well.

Harry was just settling Remus' note back on the small table when the Floo unexpectedly roared to life. Snape stepped through. Again, Snape's face betrayed instant surprise as he saw Harry, awake in the bed, although Harry thought his own face held a bit of shock as well. Snape quickly schooled his features and stepped calmly over to Harry's bed. With a quick wave of his wand, he set the few lit torches to emit larger flames and the room was bathed in light. Snape turned back toward Harry and considered him with a fierce gaze for a moment. Harry, with his stomach twisted in knots, gazed back at him.

Abruptly, Snape held out a small vial of the same green Potion that Pomfrey had given Harry that morning. "Drink it," he ordered curtly and Harry took the little vial hesitantly.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Ossifying Potion--to stabilize your bones," Snape answered, sounding annoyed that Harry would bother him with questions.

Harry eyed the green potion, but didn't drink it. "Madame Pomfrey said I'd need four doses of this," he said slowly, glancing quickly up at Snape and then back down again.

"Your point?" Snape demanded and Harry shook the vile gently as he bit his lip. He wanted to ask about last night, but he didn't know how to go about it. Obviously Snape had come last night to bring him the first dose of Potion, as Pomfrey had explained she was giving him the second this morning.

Snape hadn't come to the Hospital Wing with the intention of sitting with him. Harry was puzzled even more by that...what had made Snape decide to stay? "Which dose is this?" Harry finally asked quickly, not looking up this time. Snape took longer to answer.

"The third. Madame Pomfrey will give you the last one in the morning. You should be able to leave after that." Snape's response was utterly clinical and Harry felt his cheeks warm in nervous embarrassment. He continued to stare at his sheet until Snape drawled, "I spelled the first dose straight into your stomach. Perhaps you would like me to do it again?" Harry looked up at the sarcastic question, expecting to find his Professor sneering at him. But Snape had absolutely no expression on his angular face.

Taking a breath, Harry shook his head and said, "No, sir...I can drink it." Again Snape's face revealed surprise though Harry had no idea what he had done to warrant the reaction. Snape watched him as he uncorked the vial and gulped the disgusting potion. Feeling self-conscious, Harry handed the vile back to Snape, who tucked it inside his robe.

When Snape didn't immediately leave, Harry said tentatively, "I don't remember the first dose, sir."

"You would not. You were asleep," Snape told him, his voice level.

"Last night?" Harry ventured.

"Yes," Snape told him calmly, no trace of emotion in the cold voice.

Harry swallowed nervously and looked down to watch his fingers twisting the thin sheet covering his legs. He wasn't going to be coward. "You stayed, sir." Harry's voice was barely a whisper. Silence. But he knew Snape must have heard him; the man could hear the soft swish of Powdered Eel breaking the surface of a Curdling Potion.

"Yes," Snape finally answered and Harry's head jerked up, his eyes wide with shock at the admission. Snape was still looking at him, an unfathomable expression in his black eyes.

"Why?" Harry wondered, his voice sounding more like a plea than he had intended. Snape looked away.

"I had to monitor your reaction to the Ossifying Potion," he said stiffly.

Harry deflated. "Oh," he said in a small voice. Snape turned suddenly, the motion sharp and Harry blinked at him, startled.

Snape narrowed his eyes and asked, "How did you know I was here?" his voice intense and Harry suddenly wished he hadn't bothered. Why did he keep being such an idiot? Desperately not wanting to finish this, Harry shook his head, but he should have known that wouldn't work. "I asked you a question," Snape said sharply and Harry felt his cheeks growing warm again, this time with anger.

"Just forget it, okay," he told the man irritably.

"Mind your tone," Snape returned automatically, his own irritation with Harry clearly demonstrated by the clench of his jaw.

Harry, however, was growing quickly tired of the back and forth transformations in Snape's demeanor, so he snapped, "Or else what, Professor?"

Instantly, Snape had his wand withdrawn from his sleeve and Harry recoiled, back into his pillows, his mouth opening to call for Pomfrey, but Snape was faster. He pointed swiftly to the four corners surrounding the two of them and said tersely, "Postulo Sonitus." Then he pointed at Pomfrey's office door and at the door that led into the corridor and snapped, "Denego Obviam," twice, once for each door.

When Snape had finished, he turned back to see Harry slowly uncurling himself from a ball on the bed, wincing slightly as he moved. Snape frowned and stepped closer to Harry's bed, bringing his wand up again to wave it over Harry quickly. When Harry tensed again, Snape's frown deepened.

"I did not mean to frighten you," he said awkwardly and Harry's temper flared again.

"I'm not frightened," he snapped.

Snape narrowed his eyes, apparently snapping out of any unease he had been feeling. He leaned in closer to Harry and said snidely, "Excellent. Perhaps you could cease jerking yourself about, and furthering damaging yourself. Madame Pomfrey will not be pleased if she has to spend another night in her office."

"Well you could have told her you were going to be here and then she could have just stayed in her quarters," Harry told him flippantly, folding his arms across his chest.

"No, I could not have told her. I cannot tell anyone." Snape's voice was hard, but instead of making Harry calm down, the tone had the opposite effect.

Harry glared at Snape and said sarcastically, "Of course not. We wouldn't want you to have to worry about getting into trouble with Voldemort."

Snape's fist suddenly banged on the top of Harry's table, making several of the well-wish cards scatter to the floor and Harry jump. Snape leaned in further and breathed in a low, dangerous voice, "I do not keep my silence in fear for my life, you insufferable brat. How dare you insinuate as much?" And then, Snape pulled back abruptly and said icily, "You will not tell anyone else...not even your idiotic friends. If you do, I will make sure that you regret it." The threat hung between them until, with a foul curse, Snape undid the spells he had cast earlier and then disappeared through the Floo.

Harry sat there trembling, the tears stinging his eyes as he watched Snape Flooing away. Once the fire had died back down, Harry swiped angrily at the moisture in his eyes, not allowing any of the childish tears to escape. He felt a terrible shame clutching at him, coursing through his body in hot waves as he thought of Snape's words. And it turned out, having Snape call him an 'insufferable brat' wasn't so amusing after all.