A Life More Ordinary

Spinner's End, 18 June 1993

The headmaster accepted Severus' offer of lemon tea with a smile. "And how did you find young Harry?" he asked.

Severus paused in pouring a second cup for himself, grateful that the headmaster could not see his face. Once he was seated with cup in hand, he said neutrally, "He is as you said."

Albus stirred his tea, took a delicate sip and eyed Severus over his spectacles. "Most say he is the spitting image of his father."

Severus didn't immediately answer. He had noticed the resemblance, of course. It would have been impossible not to. But it had been Lily's eyes which had held Severus' attention. Vivid green, and full of curiosity and warmth--just as Lily's had been.

"He is an exceptionally kind boy," Albus added over the rim of his cup, still holding Severus' gaze. "I imagine he was most excited to meet you."

Severus concentrated on the heat of the tea as it slid over his tongue and down his throat. "I imagine so," he agreed, voice still carefully blank.

"To find a connection to his mother," Albus murmured with another smile, "when he has so few."

"I do believe Lily considered Lupin a dear friend."

Albus nodded. "Yes indeed. Though it is hardly possible for a child who has lost his mother to have too many connections to her." He paused with the cup poised halfway to his lips. "Wouldn't you agree?"

Resentment surged up from somewhere deep in Severus' belly. He dutifully tamped it down and said with a little nod, "If the connections are positive ones, yes."

He regretted it as soon as he said it, for the headmaster rested his cup on its saucer and lost the smiling pretense.

"I do think Harry would disagree that your connection with Lily was a negative one, Severus."'

A sardonic smile hid the despair touching Severus' heart, and the sudden pressure of his clenching fingers around the cup. "And when he learns that I killed her?"

And finally the headmaster frowned. "You did not kill Lily."

"Her son would likely disagree."

Albus set his tea completely on the table, leaning forward a little with his sudden intensity. "You made a mistake, Severus, one which no doubt had permanent consequences--"

"The death of Harry's parents," Severus cut in tightly.

"Yes," Albus said in that quiet, forceful voice of his. The one that exuded more calm than it should. "But you did not know it would happen."

"I knew the Dark Lord." Severus set his own cup down, the movement abrupt enough to send tea sloshing over the rim. "The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches," he recited without effort; the words had been seared into his brain. "What else," he spat, "did I believe he would do if not kill the one who threatened him?"

"I do not deny that it was a mistake, Severus," Albus said gently. "All of us have made mistakes."

"All of us," Severus snapped, "did not cause people to die."

Albus did not answer immediately and it took Severus that long moment to realize he'd lost his temper. He pursed his lips and took in a slow breath.

"I apologize for my outburst," he said quietly. It was very difficult to keep the headmaster's eyes when his blue eyes softened like that.

"You need not apologize for your emotions, my boy. I did not mean to upset you. I only wish you would allow yourself to be forgiven."

How many times had the old man uttered those words? Did he not realize by now that Severus did not deserve anyone's forgiveness? Most especially from the boy he'd orphaned.

The headmaster was still watching him, so Severus inclined his head.

Albus sighed, the wrinkled face filled with inexplicable sorrow. "You gave Harry his godfather," he finally said. "You must realize what a gift that is to him?"

Severus picked up his tea cup. "I gave him his godfather, as you say, because you asked me to, Headmaster."

Albus noted the reinforced calm and raised an eyebrow. "If I remember correctly, Severus, I only asked you for one year's effort to locate Peter Pettigrew. I do believe I even offered to finance your potions shop after the year was up, as you had given it your best effort."

Severus said nothing.

"You searched for him for another two and a half years," Albus said over another delicate sip of tea. "It took you a year and a half after you found his trail, is that correct?"

"Yes," Severus murmured into the rim of his cup,

"Then why did you keep searching after I had already offered to uphold my end of our bargain?"

Severus couldn't fight the tide of grief as it welled up in his chest. There was really no reason to try. "Because," he said softly, "Pettigrew was still free."

oOoOo

Harry tossed a handful of socks over his shoulder and went back to digging through the mountain of laundry on his bed. How many clothes did a bloke need anyway? Frustrated, he kicked at his desk chair and then swore under his breath as a jolt of pain shot through his toe.

And still, he couldn't find his stupid cloak.

Giving up and with his voice louder than necessary he shouted, "Where's my traveling cloak?"

From across the corridor, Sirius' voice floated over, "Downstairs!"

Harry made a face. "I don't see it!"

"You're still in your room, nutter!"

Harry launched a wad of pants toward his open rucksack and retorted, "I was just down there!" A moment later, a bundle of fabric was dumped on his head, making everything dark. "Hey!"

He yanked the cloak off as he turned around. Sirius was leaning against the doorframe, smiling. "Looks like you found it."

"Very funny."

"Yes, I thought so."

Harry rolled his eyes and twisted to stuff the cloak in amongst the rest of his clothes.

"Anything else you need me to find for you?" Sirius was still smiling but at least his tone was a bit more serious now. "How many pairs of pants did you pack?"

Harry made a face as Sirius peered over his shoulder. "Sirius," he complained, "you don't need to count my pants."

"Think you can manage that on your own, do you?"

Harry settled for rolling his eyes again. Sirius held his hands up in surrender. "Fine," he said. "I can see I'm not needed here. I'll just go back to my room and finish my own packing. I need to find my trainers anyhow."

"Don't forget your pants. At least ten," Harry said in response. Sirius poked his ribs, muttering about children and their cheek as he left the room. His irritation drained now, Harry smiled to himself and went back to his packing. Pants, jeans, t-shirts, socks... where were his trainers?

Not under his desk.

Only dust bunnies under the bed.

"Have you seen my trainers?" he called as he scooted backwards. Sirius' response was too muffled for him to understand. "What did you say?" he shouted.

Sighing when there was no answer, he pushed himself up and went into Sirius' room. His hand on the doorknob slowing his entrance, Harry frowned. Sirius was sitting on the edge of Remus' wooden chest, staring out the window.

Sirius noticed him a second later and a small smile peeked through the clouds. "Did you finish packing?"

"Can't find my trainers," Harry said as Sirius stood and crossed to the open bureau.

"Maybe they're with mine. Accio Harry's trainers!"

Harry had to duck as they whizzed in from the corridor.

"Here we are." Sirius passed them over.

"Thanks."

A stray smile. "What else do you need to pack?"

"Erm... think I'm finished. Packed loads of pants."

"Good," Sirius said with a renewed glint of humour in his eyes. "Lace up and I'll finish here."

Harry sat on Remus' chest, drawing up a leg to tug a trainer on and lacing it swiftly. He gave the other foot the same treatment and then let both legs dangle as he slid his bum back and slouched against the wall. His fingers flicked at the hem of his shirt while he watched Sirius folding grey track bottoms.

"I think that's it..." Sirius glanced around the room, his fingers threading through the hair at the top of his hair as he pursed his lips in thought. "You have your wand?"

Harry patted the special pocket on the side of his jeans.

"Good... oh, wait." Sirius clicked his fingers and went into the toilet, returning a moment later with the kit they kept for emergencies--the one with plasters and various healing potions. "Now we're ready," he said as he set the kit on the top of the track bottoms and closed his pack. He hoisted it over his shoulder and gave Harry's back a gentle scratch as he stepped toward the door. "Let's go."

"Think we'll find the unicorns?" Harry asked after they'd retrieved his rucksack and were padding down the stairs side by side.

"Ollivander seems to think so."

"Hope so," Harry said. He hopped off the last step and turned his face up to grin at Sirius. "Ollivander said I could pluck a hair if the unicorn will allow it."

Sirius winked. "I'll hope for a friendly one then," he said. They froze as the Floo roared. Though actually, Sirius looked more like he was trying not to freeze, his muscles twitching as he veered for the kitchen, with Harry scrambling to follow.

The bubble of excitement in Harry's chest burst when Sirius murmured, "Good morning, Albus."

"A wonderful morning it is," Dumbledore agreed with a warm smile as he stepped into the kitchen. "Are you enjoying your summer, Harry?"

Harry swallowed the sudden lump in his throat and nodded. "Yes sir."

Dumbledore eyed their gear. "I didn't know you were planning a holiday."

"Ollivander heard news of a unicorn herd near the Kazan Forest," Sirius explained. Harry glanced at him, his forehead wrinkling as his godfather cleared the frog from his throat. "He invited us along."

"Did he?" Dumbledore's eyebrows peaked in interest as he swept his robes aside to sit in the chair Sirius offered. "That is splendid news. Remus is well enough to accompany you, I hope?"

Sirius turned his attention to the tea things on the counter. "Remus isn't coming with us," he said gruffly. "Tea?"

Harry's eyes were darting between his godfather and Dumbledore. He slid into his chair, his knuckles curling against the table top as he watched Dumbledore frown.

"Thank you, no; I've just come from Severus, with news of the Wolfsbane. If Remus is awake--"

"He isn't here." Sirius had folded his arms across his chest, the fists tucked securely under his armpits. Harry bit the inside corner of his lip, trying not to notice that Dumbledore was the one taking in the scene now, his kind blue eyes searching first Sirius' face and then Harry's.

"I could return later to discuss Severus' hypothesis?" he finally asked in a softer voice.

"I don't know when he will be returning," Sirius said, his own voice was flat now, his bent arms tighter somehow.

Dumbledore pinched his half-moon spectacles between thumb and forefinger, adjusted them carefully. "Severus brews Wolfsbane for several others," he finally said. "I don't know if you were aware?"

"He has for several years," Dumbledore went on when Sirius didn't answer, "though of course his customers must remain in anonymity."

Sirius gave a curt nod.

"Severus has received confirmation from four of his clients who drank from the same batch of Wolfsbane as Remus; all of them without incident."

Several muscles in Sirius' face jumped, but as soon as he noticed Harry's gaze, he smiled a little. The expression only excited Harry's jitters.

"Severus believes it is possible that Remus may have developed a partial immunity to the Wolfsbane," Dumbledore said. "He has been using it far longer than the others."

Sirius let his arms drop. His lips parted for a second and then he shook his head; gave the hem of his shirt a sharp tug. "What does that mean?"

"Severus is working on a new formula; one which he hopes will have the ability to adjust itself so that immunity will not be a problem again."

Sirius tilted his head, interest suddenly lighting his eyes. "Polypore Spores?"

"Yes." Dumbledore smiled. "He believes they will lend the right metamorphic property to the potion. He hopes to have it ready in four days' time."

Sirius' thoughtful nod abruptly ended. "Please give Snape my gratitude. Actually, perhaps you had best not, as it seemed to irritate him when I was in his shop." He gestured vaguely to the air around them. "I apologize for the short visit, but Ollivander is expecting us."

"Yes, of course," Dumbledore murmured. He shook his robes out as he stood. "I have had some time to ponder Harry's Portkey as well."

Sirius kneaded his forehead with his fingertips, nodding with the other hand poised on his rucksack. "The reason it didn't work?"

"On the contrary, I believe it worked just as it was meant to."

Sirius squinted at him. "How do you mean? I set it to bring Harry home when he activated it."

"Your exact choice of words, yes?"

"Yes..."

Dumbledore smiled. "If we may try it again? You have a Portkey to your destination with Ollivander?"

Still looking confused, Sirius nodded.

"Harry can activate his after you activate yours."

Sirius glanced at Harry. "That all right with you?"

"Sure," Harry said with a shrug.

Sirius sorted both of the heavy packs over his shoulders and with small smile for Harry, he was gone.

"Ready, my boy?"

Harry pulled his eyes from the empty space where Sirius had just been and pulled the amulet from under his shirt. Dumbledore touched his finger delicately to Harry's Portkey, nodding when he was ready.

The world spun around them and then Harry was sprawled on the ground, inhaling dew-soaked grass.

"We need to work on your landings."

Harry lifted his head, spitting out blades of green as his crouching godfather smirked at him. "How come the headmaster landed on his feet?" he groused as Sirius helped him up.

"Years of practice, my boy," Dumbledore said cheerfully while Sirius plucked a stray piece of grass from Harry's hair.

Harry sighed. "It didn't work," he said, giving the disk around his neck a flick.

"Oh, but it did," Dumbledore disagreed. "Sirius spelled the Portkey to take you home." He smiled, his blue eyes sparkling. "And in your heart, home is where Sirius is."

Startled, Harry's eyes flew up to his godfather's face. Sirius, dumbfounded, stared at Dumbledore for a long moment and then a slow smile lit his face. It was the first genuine grin Harry had seen in days and he grinned too as Sirius caught his eye.

The moment was shattered just as quickly by Dumbledore.

"I'll bring Remus' potion to Grimmauld Place when it is ready, shall I?"

Sirius immediately frowned. "Albus, I don't--"

"It is four days," Dumbledore interrupted gently. "More than enough time for him to remember what life was like without you."

"Or at least enough for him to realize that he is being a fool."

Harry turned to see Ollivander coming out of the stand of trees behind them. Sirius closed his eyes briefly, and didn't respond to either of them, though Harry thought he looked like he was considering it even as he took the tent from his rucksack and gestured for Harry to help him.

"It has been too long, Aurelius," Dumbledore greeted the wand maker.

Ollivander sighed at the use of his given name, but otherwise greeted Dumbledore pleasantly enough. Harry had already stopped listening. He hadn't wanted to believe Remus had gone for good.

Even if he was the reason for Sirius' bruise.

Trying not to be too obvious about it, Harry peeked at the misshapen patch of yellowed purple on Sirius' face. His godfather hadn't said it had been Remus' fault, but it wasn't difficult to guess. And as far as Harry could tell, Sirius didn't blame Remus for hurting him.

No one did.

And Remus would realize that soon. Harry just knew it.

After all, they weren't a whole family without Remus.

"Hold this corner for me?" Sirius asked, breaking into his thoughts.

"Sure," Harry agreed and feeling decidedly more cheerful, he scrambled to help.

oOoOo

"Reckon I've had enough."

Remus stared at his friend through bleary eyes, his head lolling to one side as he reached for the bottle between them. "Enuffofwhat?" He shook the bottle, shrugging when he could hear no comforting slosh of gin. He frowned when he tipped it upside down against his lips.

"It's empty," Carad told him in his habitually gruff voice. Remus squinted at him.

"Couldve saved someovit for me," he complained.

Carad's lips were pulled in a frown, but then Carad was always frowning. Or at least Remus thought he was. It was difficult to remember right now. But that's exactly why they'd come to this pub, wasn't it? To forget. Though what Remus was supposed to be forgetting was equally difficult to remember at the moment.

"Another bottle?"

Remus blinked slowly as he raised his head; too bright. When had they moved the moon inside?

"Gin," Remus spoke before Carad had a chance, grinning at the squat server. "More," he said heavily, waving the bottle and then grinning sloppily as the server pried it from his fist. "Wonnerful man..."

"Remus--"

"Carad..." Remus echoed as he leaned on the table. His friend was still frowning. It made his scars stand out. "Whadjaget the scarsfor?"

The trio of scars down Carad's neck pulsed as he snorted. "Even pissed off your arse, you have to remember that."

Remus flapped a hand. "Notthose..." Tried to shake his head and explain but all he could do was set his cheek to the table and flick his fingers in the general direction of Carad's ear.

"One of my boarders."

"Course," Remus muttered into the pitted wood. Where else would Carad get a scar like that? Not enough for his old friend to give himself scars during full moons, had to be mauled by other werewolves. Ones he was trying to help no less. "Bloody ingrates..."

Carad shrugged. "Can't be picky."

Remus' attention was diverted from an answer as the waiter thunked a new bottle of gin on the table. Remus grasped it, sloshing liquor down the squat glass neck as he raised it in a salute. "To thewolf," he declared as he drowned the words in gin.

oOoOo

"When did you learn to do that?" Harry was leaning over his godfather's shoulder, crowding him. But Sirius didn't seem to mind. He smiled and held up the carved wood as crickets chirped to announce the night.

"Had to find something to do with all my free time while you were at school, didn't I?"

Harry took the wood, reverently running his fingertips along the length. "You should have told me you learning to carve," he said, awed at how well his godfather had managed.

Sirius glanced up at him, his eyes more relaxed than they had been in days. "Thought it might be a fun surprise."

"You didn't even realize you were learning something," Ollivander snorted from where he was sitting on a log across from them. "Been giving me a hand here and there when I ask."

Sirius smiled at the wand maker, but he didn't argue, no matter that Harry knew Sirius wasn't that oblivious.

"Turns out he's rather helpful to have about," Ollivander added. "Ought to apprentice him."

"Isn't he too old?" Harry asked. He smiled when Sirius nudged an elbow into his stomach.

Ollivander's chuckle was cut off by his low whistle. "What have we here?"

Harry and Sirius followed his gaze. "Wow," Harry breathed as all three of them stood as one. "Look at that, Sirius."

"Move slowly," Ollivander warned, stepping quickly in front of them. "Do you have any idea who that is?"

"It's a thestral," Harry whispered.

"Not simply a thestral... she gave me the core for your godfather's wand."

"It can't be."

Ollivander flapped a shushing hand at Sirius. "Of course it is. Don't you think I recognize one of my own core bearers?" he asked irritably. Sirius wisely didn't answer. Harry kept pace with him as they crept behind Ollivander.

The thestral hadn't moved, not even her great black head. Or her dark eyes, which reflected the moonlight like the lake at Hogwarts, opposite of the usual, glittering white of most thestrals.

When Ollivander stopped five paces from her front hooves, she snorted softly.

Ollivander dipped his chin, his hand help out in welcome. The thestral pawed the earth, seemingly in agitation but Ollivander cocked his head as if he was listening to something only he could hear. "Harry," he said softly, the single word an order and after a quick glance at Sirius, who nodded, Harry joined Ollivander.

"Concentrate," the older wizard said. Harry worried his lips, unsure what he was supposed to be concentrating on. "Look into her eyes and concentrate."

Harry's nose scrunched as he did as he was bid. The thestral's head bobbed, another soft snort sending warm breath over Harry's face. Her eyes seemed endless, and as black as velvet night. That one, the eyes were saying; over and over again. And the hoof pawing the earth wasn't simply restless, it was pointing behind Harry and Ollivander.

"Sirius?" Harry whispered, surprising himself with the query. Another huffed breath through the huge nostrils and a soft, shrill cry.

Harry slanted his eyes to Ollivander, who was watching him with a smile. Together, they parted. Sirius was staring at the winged beast. Its leathery head bobbed again, the quiet shriek breaking the calm night once more. With brows collided, Sirius stepped forward and as soon as he was close enough, the thestral's nose bumped him gently under the chin, the huffing breath more like a sigh now.

Mesmerized, Sirius brought his hands up and stroked lightly up her long snout, under her eyes and down her neck.

"This is exactly where I found her all those years ago," Ollivander said quietly, but Sirius didn't even acknowledge him. He rested a cheek against the thestral's and that same quiet shriek made him smile.

"Want to go for a ride?" he asked, turning his head to Harry. Startled, Harry gaped up at the huge horse-dragon. "I think she wants to take me."

"And me?" Harry squeaked.

Sirius ran his fingertips over her withers as her head bobbed. "Would you like to?"

Did Sirius even need to ask?

"Yes!"

Ollivander grinned broadly while he gave Sirius a leg up and then helped Harry up in front of him.

"Hold tight to her mane," Sirius said into his ear as his arms came around his waist.

His heart thumping wildly with excitement, Harry wound his fingers through her bristly mane. The thestral gave a triumphant screech, like a great hawk stalking its prey and took off at a gallop, rising into the air before Harry had even prepared himself for it.

The great wings beat the air several times and then they were gliding, high above the trees, so high it seemed they would