A Life More Ordinary

Author Notes: This interlude, dedicated to the readers who demanded a little more Remus, was one of those odd, mostly unexplainable bits that kept niggling at me, not really meant to be written in the first place but it seems the story won't let me go on without it. As fellow writers will attest, sometimes these ink and parchment bastards drag you under. Think of it as Chapter 32 and a half. You might want to go back and re-read the previous to get your bearings. Enjoy.

Grimmauld Place, 29 March 1993

Sirius kneaded the base of his neck as he crossed the corridor to his room, relieved that Harry was already nodding off. He briefly considered going downstairs immediately to wake Remus, dismissed the notion just as quickly. Remus would have a difficult time falling asleep again once he woke up; best to give him as much rest as he could get now.

So Sirius peeled off his smart shirt, tossed it on the bed and went into the loo. Once he spelled the water on, he watched his reflection in the mirror opposite until it disappeared behind the steam, Harry's accusation playing over and over in his head.

My dad would have told me.

Harry hadn't meant it; silly to fret over words, Sirius told himself firmly. And everything was perfectly all right between them now. Harry had been quite cheerful as he'd bounded into bed, asking Sirius again to teach him how to be an Animagus.

Something that James would have loved to do. He had talked of almost nothing else when he'd found out that Lily was pregnant. All the things he was going to teach his new generation of Potters. Teaching Harry to become an Animagus had been at the top of his list--right behind taking him for his first broom ride.

James had missed that one too.

Bloody tosser. Getting himself killed.

Sighing deeply, Sirius swiped an arm across the mirror's surface and watched the steam obscure the space again.

At least now there were no more secrets.

It could have been worse, he told himself as he moved away from the sink, finished disrobing and stepped under the shower's spray. He'd always known of course, that Harry would feel no differently about Remus once he learned the truth. Sirius was rather proud of the kid, all told. And Remus--well, Sirius hadn't seen Remus so happy in a long time.

Sirius let his forehead rest against the stone wall; he closed his eyes as the water pelted his back for long minutes, finally soaping up when he remembered Remus was downstairs.

Considering the circumstances, he mused as he absently circled the soap over his chest, Harry had been extraordinarily mature about the whole thing once he'd realized how much Remus was hurting. And Sirius could hardly blame him for the way he'd acted prior to that. Even if Harry's harsh words did still sting.

Bloody tired, that's what he was, Sirius decided as he lathered his hair and rinsed, then watched the bubbles spin lazily down the drain. He needed to go wake Remus and then the two of them could curl up in bed. Remus would probably appreciate a massage.

Sirius smiled a little to himself as he chose a dark green towel, quickly ran it through his hair and then wrapped it around his waist. Massage... a little oil perhaps. And a naked Remus. All in all, a rather brilliant plan.

Clearing another patch of steam off the mirror, Sirius thumbed his chin... a bit of stubble; could definitely do with a shave--

He started as strong arms wrapped around his waist; smiled as he found Remus' reflection next to his own. "Hey," he said softly as he put a hand over his husband's, "I was just about to fetch you."

"Mm," Remus murmured as he pressed his nose into Sirius' damp hair and breathed deeply. "Should have fetched me before your shower."

"Thought you'd like to sleep..."

Remus smiled against his neck. "Rather than share a shower?"

Sirius chuckled. "No?"

Remus swept the long hair away from Sirius' back and pressed several slow kisses along his shoulder. "Absolutely not."

Sirius arched his neck, giving Remus access for another set of kisses. "I did think of something else we could do..."

"Did you?" Remus' warm breath sent goose pimples up Sirius' neck.

Sirius had to concentrate on not letting the words escape. "... massage... might be nice."

Remus' fingers dipped below the towel on either hip. "Might be..."

oOoOo

They lay together, their limbs tangled as they waited for breath to return. Neither in any hurry, both murmuring the sorts of nonsense that only worked when two bodies were no longer separate.

And Sirius decided he could stay this way forever, Remus' weight against his back. Except that the faucet was digging painfully into his stomach. And the soap dish might be permanently attached to his elbow.

"Moony..."

Fingers trailed through his tangled hair. "Hmm?"

"That was..." Bit difficult to express himself with the faucet attacking his diaphragm.

"Brilliant?"

"Perfect."

"Mm, yes..." Remus kissed his neck again, this time teasing the skin with teeth. "How long until you admit you can't breathe?"

Sirius smiled, no longer caring about the discomfort. "When you stop doing that."

Remus' chuckle vibrated through his skin and after one last slow kiss, he pulled away. A bit of a groan and Sirius was upright and facing Remus again. "Getting too old for that," he said, scrubbing a hand across his abused torso.

"You're thirty-three."

Sirius pulled Remus close, his concerned gaze tracing over the deep shadows under his husband's eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"Not as old as you apparently."

"That's because you're younger than me."

"By an entire six weeks."

"Practically an eternity, Moony... Just imagine how you'll feel when I'm forty and you're still in your thirties."

"Like I'm married to an old man?"

Sirius nodded; feigned a long-suffering sigh. "Well at least warn me before you start looking for someone younger."

"How much notice would you like?"

"At least as much time as it will take me to find someone as ancient as me."

Remus smiled. "That much?"

Sirius kissed his nose. "Funny." He twined their fingers. "I'm cold... let's go to bed."

"I didn't think I would be as relieved as I am," Remus said once he and Sirius had pulled on pajama bottoms and were sliding under the warm quilt.

Sirius smiled. "You're happy he knows then?"

"I wish he hadn't overheard us, but yes, I am happy he knows the truth now." Remus sighed as Sirius adjusted the quilt around them. "I am sorry I wasn't there to help with his initial anger though."

Sirius debated his response as he shifted onto his side and pulled Remus against him, a hand splayed possessively over his husband's stomach; settled on, "He just needed some time to adjust."

"I don't think I've ever seen Harry so angry... not like that."

Sirius shrugged; kissed the edge of one of Remus' broad shoulders. "He was a bit hurt that we hadn't told him. He understood though."

"After he saw how upset I was, yes," Remus agreed. "Did you sort things out between you before he went to sleep?"

"I introduced him to Padfoot."

"Did you?"

"He wants me to teach him to be an Animagus."

"He's a bit young, isn't he?"

"His magic is more mature than most kids his age," Sirius said. "He could probably manage it." He could feel Remus nodding in the dim light.

"I have no objections, if you would like to," he finally said, sounding confused. Sirius didn't answer, not wanting to explain that part of him would very much not like to. Stupid to fret over taking something from a man who had been dead for twelve years.

"Sirius? Are you asleep?"

"No," Sirius murmured into his shaggy hair as he concentrated on the rise and fall of Remus' chest. "Just happy you're home. Missed you last night."

Remus turned so that he could see Sirius' face. Sirius didn't really want the scrutiny so he leaned in for a kiss. Remus kissed him back, his thumb tracing a line against Sirius' jaw.

"I thought you would be more excited to finally be able to teach Harry to become an Animagus," he said when Sirius pulled back. "You and James talked of nothing else after he was born."

"I am looking forward to it," Sirius said. "You need to sleep," he said, with another quick kiss. "Unless you would like that massage? Accio--"

"Sirius." Remus' fingers caught his hand, lowering it and Sirius swallowed the rest of the spell. Remus frowned in the dim light. "What is it?"

"You're always sore after the full moon," Sirius said with a strained smile, knowing full well that that wasn't what Remus was referring to. "A massage usually helps."

"That isn't what I meant," Remus said quietly.

Sirius sighed. He straightened the quilt as he rolled onto his back. "It's nothing. It's stupid."

"Harry isn't still angry with you, is he?"

Sirius glanced at him, having not expected the affronted pitch of Remus' question. "No, no," he said quickly. "Everything's fine."

"Then what's the matter?"

"Nothing," Sirius said, hoping it would close the matter. "It isn't important."

Remus propped himself on an elbow. "Sirius, I know you have this idea that, near the full moon, I'm fragile somehow--"

"I don't think that."

Remus cocked his eyebrows. "Yes you do," he said, his voice gentle; fond, even though it was also lightly chiding. "You always have, ever since we were thirteen. I transformed last night, and I am exhausted but that doesn't mean I need to be shielded from anything. Especially not when it comes to you. Something is troubling you and I want to know what it is."

Sirius sighed, not entirely convinced that any of this needed to be said. "I don't like quarreling with Harry."

"I know you don't," Remus said quietly, reaching for his hand. "It's one of the things I love about you--"

Sirius smirked. "That I don't like to quarrel with Harry?"

"You don't like to quarrel with anyone," Remus said, smiling. "But no, I meant that I love how much you love him. You told me when I first found the two of you, that loving Harry was effortless, do you remember?"

Sirius nodded. He would never forget any part of that day.

"By the time I arrived," Remus said, "it was as if you had always been his father."

Sirius stared at him, feeling as though he'd just been kicked in the stomach. He turned his face to the ceiling, years of guilt colliding together and threatening to crush him. "James is his father."

"So are you."

Sirius turned his head, found Remus' soft brown eyes and he heard himself whispering words he had never meant to say, "I'm jealous of him."

Remus leaned down until their foreheads met and Sirius closed his eyes, the ache traveling to his throat and lodging itself firmly there. After a moment, Remus lifted his head just a little. "Will you please tell me what happened?"

It took a long minute before Sirius finally opened his eyes. "He was angry that I didn't tell him that you are a werewolf. He... said that James would have."

Remus frowned. "He shouldn't have said that to you."

"He was hurt that we kept it from him," Sirius said, shrugging. "And I had just lost my temper."

Quietly, Remus said, "I'm very sorry that I put you in that position, Sirius; having to lie to him. I should have told him earlier, as you wanted to."

"It doesn't matter now."

Remus' fingers pressed against Sirius' cheek, thumb brushing his lips and down his chin. "He didn't know what he was saying."

"I know."

"And James would not have told him."

Sirius smiled. "I know."

"That kid bloody well adores you," Remus said, nearly scowling.

Sirius laughed, which dislodged most of the sting still clogging his throat. "Come here..." He pulled Remus to him, as close as he could; shut his eyes again as Remus' arms cinched him tight. With absolutely no sign that he was going to let go for the rest of the night.

"I love you," Remus murmured into his hair and the rest of the ache disappeared.

oOoOo

Remus paused outside Harry's door, uncertain if this was the right way to proceed. But he felt convinced that were the positions reversed, it would be Sirius standing here, which made the decision much easier. Drawing in a calming breath, Remus knocked on the door.

The door opened. Harry was hopping on one foot as he tugged a sock on with one hand, the other still on the knob. "Hi," he said, out of breath.

Trying very hard not to smile, Remus asked, "Good morning. May I come in?"

"Sure." Harry hopped backward and plopped on the bed. He bent over and finished putting the sock on, then looked up expectantly. Remus took the trainers off the desk chair; handed them to Harry.

"Thanks," Harry said as he put his feet on the quilt and pulled the trainers on, tying them swiftly. "Is breakfast ready?"

Remus sat on the chair. "Sirius just went downstairs to make it."

"Oh." Harry looked a bit confused, glancing toward the door and back at Remus. Remus cleared his throat.

"I wanted to thank you," he said, finding an easy tone with little difficulty. Harry's confusion deepened. "For being so understanding about my being a werewolf."

"Oh." Harry shrugged as he pretzled his legs, making himself more comfortable on the bed. "You can't help it."

Remus nodded. "But unfortunately, most people would not have taken the news quite as well as you did."

Harry cocked his head, studying him and for a moment, Remus was unnerved. Until Harry said, "But you're just you."

The innocent assessment unlocked a very deeply held store of emotions in Remus' chest. He smiled. "I am very grateful that you understand that, Harry. Though I should have known that you would. I do apologize for not telling you sooner."

"Well," Harry allowed, "I guess I get why you didn't. I mean, it's a pretty big secret." He frowned a little. "I should have figured it out... because everything makes more sense now.

"How so?"

"You were always ill after your trips," Harry said thoughtfully. "And that's why you couldn't adopt me, yeah?"

More than a little startled at the question, it took Remus nearly a full minute to nod while Harry fiddled with his shoelaces. "A werewolf isn't allowed to adopt a child."

"I know."

Remus frowned. "Has it bothered you that I never formally adopted you?"

Harry shrugged. "I just thought it was because we had the bonding ceremony."

Remus leaned forward a little. "I would adopt you if I could," he said quietly. "I've always wanted to."

Harry nodded, not quite smiling, and Remus sighed as he sat back.

"I'm sorry about that as well," he said. "Sirius worried that it might bother you, but I thought you would mention it to us if it did." He shook his head, wondering how it was possible that he'd been so very wrong. "Sirius wanted to tell you all along. It was solely my decision not to."

Harry shrugged.

Feeling uncertain again, Remus fumbled with how to begin the conversation that had brought him in here. "It's all right if you still feel a bit upset that I didn't tell you... I know you were angry when you and Sirius first spoke about it." He was surprised when Harry dropped his gaze to his lap; to his knotted fingers.

"Guess so," he mumbled.

"You said some hurtful things to him."

Harry's eyes flew up.

"It's fairly easy to tell when Sirius is distressed," Remus explained gently, not wanting Harry to think his godfather had volunteered the information. "I woke up after you went to sleep and I could see he was still unhappy over your row."

Harry's eyes darted back to his knees, just for a second until Remus went on, "It took a bit of prodding on my part, but he did finally tell me that you said you thought your dad would have told you about my being a werewolf, when Sirius didn't."

Harry's face burned crimson. Remus frowned. "You knew how hurtful that would be?"

Harry shook his head. "I didn't mean it..."

"You didn't mean what?" The question came out sharper than Remus had intended and Harry immediately looked away; he shrugged.

This was not going as he'd planned it, but Remus bit back a sigh and said quietly, "Do you understand why it would be hurtful to Sirius to be told by you that he isn't doing something as well as your dad might?"

His cheeks still pink, Harry nodded.

"Look at me, please." Harry did. "Even if you are angry," Remus went on, "that is not an excuse to say something like that--not to Sirius, especially."

Harry swallowed. "I know," he said, very quietly.

"I don't ever want to hear that you've said anything like that to Sirius again," Remus said firmly, leaning in a bit to make his point. "Do you understand me?"

Harry nodded. "I won't," he promised, several worried lines appearing as he scrunched his brow.

Remus smiled at him. "Good." He stood and gripped Harry's shoulder briefly. "Breakfast should be ready by now. Shall we go down?"

Harry slid off the bed, his soles thumping softly against the floor. He didn't say anything as they went downstairs together, and Remus hoped he hadn't bollixed this up completely.

"Eggs and bangers," Sirius said cheerfully as soon as they came into the kitchen. "And blueberry pancakes. Morning, kid."

"Morning..." Harry made his way over to Sirius slowly, startling his godfather a moment later as Harry gave him an impromptu hug. Sirius smiled down at him, returning the sideways embrace with his spatula arm and planting a quick kiss to Harry's tousled hair.

"Want to help me with the pancakes?" he asked and Harry nodded, taking the proffered spatula with a smile. "Think they're ready to be flipped."

Remus smiled as he watched them. The two of them; grinning together as they created faces with the blueberries. Both chortling at their clever interpretation of Dumbledore, complete with half-moon spectacles and a triangular-ish pancake hat. He handed them a small tub of clotted cream as he came to stand beside Sirius.

"For his beard," he explained.

Harry and Sirius grinned. "Brilliant!"

And once the Dumblecake, as christened by Harry, was properly adorned, the three of them tucked in.