A Life More Ordinary

Grimmauld Place--May 1986

The toe of Harry's trainer bounced loudly against the table leg as he glared from under his fringe at Remus.

"Did you enjoy your lessons with Mrs. Weasley this morning, Harry?" Remus asked as he speared a piece of lettuce with his fork.

Harry poked at his jacket potato and didn't answer.

"Harry?" Sirius prodded quietly from across the table next to Remus. Harry blew out a breath, annoyed that he'd have to answer now.

"No."

"No?" Sirius was trying not to smile; Harry scowled. "Why not?"

"She talks too much." The skin of Harry's potato was dotted with holes. His scowl deepened as he watched the adults exchanging looks. "She does!" he insisted, pulling his chin up to glare at both of them now.

"Well," Remus said in that tone that he always used when he thought Harry ought to be reasonable about something, "teachers generally do a fair bit of that. Did you enjoy your play time with Ron and the twins?"

Harry had, but he wasn't going to say so. "No," he grumbled and pushed his plate away. "I'm not hungry," he said sullenly. Sirius frowned.

"Are you feeling ill?" he asked; he stretched his hand across the table but Harry pulled his head against the back of the chair, out of his godfather's reach.

"I want to go play," he said, trying not to look at Sirius' deepening frown.

"Would you like to finish coloring our dragon picture?" Remus asked as he set his fork down. "We might be able to finish it tonight."

Harry wanted to say yes. He and Remus always had fun together; especially when they were working on one of the huge rolls of parchment spread out on kitchen table. And they were even almost done with the huge dragon colony they'd created with paints.

But as he sat there, watching Sirius smiling at Remus' suggestion and his hand settling on top of Remus', Harry remembered what Ron had said that morning and all he wanted to do was to tell Remus to go home. But Sirius wouldn't like that. So, he simply scowled and shook his head.

Sirius and Remus exchanged glances once more. Harry watched Remus shrug, and then a funny tingle wormed its way into Harry's stomach as Remus put his hand on Sirius' arm and squeezed. Sirius smiled a little before he turned back to Harry.

"If you're not hungry, you can be excused-"

Harry slid off his chair before Sirius could even finish his sentence. He turned toward the door, wanting to get away as fast as he could.

"Harry," his godfather's deep voice halted him in his tracks.

He turned around again, slowly.

"Dishes in the sink, kiddo," Sirius said lightly, his eyebrows raised in suggestion toward the gleaming metal sink. Harry didn't know what came over him then. All he knew was that Remus was sitting there, next to his godfather--his Sirius. Both of them gazing at him with encouraging smiles on their faces.

Harry could feel the tingle growing until his stomach began to burn. He clenched his hands into fists. "I don't want to," he finally huffed. Sirius' eyebrows shot up as soon as the words left Harry's mouth, but they came back down almost immediately, making Harry wish he hadn't said that.

"You need to do it now please," Sirius said quietly. Harry wasn't sure why Remus put his arm again on Sirius', but Harry felt his face getting hot. "Harry," Sirius repeated, his voice dropping a bit in a way that Harry knew promised nothing good. But he didn't care.

"No," Harry said, jutting his jaw out as he glared at his godfather. His palms started to feel a bit clammy as Sirius slowly pushed back his chair and stood up.

"If you'll excuse us for a moment, Remus, Harry and I will be back right back," Sirius said.

"Of course," Remus murmured. He looked right at Harry and smiled. A smile so understanding that Harry could barely stand it. He didn't want to be understood, especially by Remus!

Sirius came around the table and put his hand on Harry's shoulder, but Harry yanked himself away.

"No!" he said loudly, his eyes still on Remus. "I want to go play!"

"Harry James," Sirius admonished as he ducked his head and caught both of Harry's shoulders this time. "Stop that this minute. What has gotten into you?"

"Nothing," Harry retorted hotly; his eyes were beginning to sting. Sirius sighed and then he dropped down so that he was eye-level with Harry.

"What is it, Harry?" he asked softly. Harry looked into his godfather's grey eyes and burst into tears.

"Harry..."

Even as he said it, Sirius was drawing Harry against his chest, and though Harry wanted to struggle... even wanted to pound Sirius's chest with his fists... he let himself be pulled in.

"Harry, what on Earth..." Sirius' arms circled him, one of his hands smoothing the hair at the back of Harry's head.

Harry couldn't put a voice to what had gotten in to him. But he didn't want Sirius to let go, so he burrowed his face into the soft fabric near Sirius' shoulder and gulped in huge rushes of air.

"What's wrong, Harry?" Sirius whispered as if he and Harry were the only two in the room. And that made Harry cry even harder.

"Ron said you... and, and... Remus are... going to, to be... married," he managed to gulp through his hiccups.

Sirius' arms stiffened, and Harry stilled as well, afraid that Sirius was going to let him go, but he didn't. There was absolutely no sound in the kitchen except Harry's snuffling, and then Sirius stood up, gathered Harry close and strode out of the kitchen.

Harry's head came up, his eyes wild. "Noooo," he wailed. "I don't want to go to my room!"

Sirius shushed him softly, his hand brushing through Harry's hair. "It's all right, Harry. We aren't going to your room."

And it was true; they only walked a little ways before Sirius was arranging them in one of the comfortable chairs in the parlor. He didn't say anything as he sat there with Harry's head tucked into his chest, his hand gently running up and down Harry's back.

"I don't know why Ron said that," Sirius finally spoke, his voice very soft--and maybe a little bit tired, "but Remus and I aren't getting married."

Harry took that in. "Ron said you were," he snuffled. "He said that's what people do when they like to kiss and hold hands."

Sirius kissed the top of Harry's head; Harry snuggled closer, trusting his godfather but still confused.

"Sometimes, yes they do..."

"He said you have to love someone an awful lot to marry them," Harry confided.

"Yes, you do." Sirius' voice sounded a little muffled.

Harry pulled away from his godfather, even more confused. "But we love Remus, don't we?"

Sirius was staring down at Harry, his eyes a little bit wide. He cleared his throat. "Yes," he finally said. Harry rested his head on Sirius' chest, and then they were quiet again.

"Are you sure you aren't going to marry Remus?" Harry finally dared to whisper. He had to make sure... after all the awful things Ron had said. But he didn't want Remus to think they didn't love him.

"Yes, Harry," Sirius answered in that same muffled voice, "I'm certain."

Harry drew in a shaky breath; Sirius sounded so sad. "Will Remus go away then?"

Sirius' hands stopped rubbing circles on Harry's back. "What do you mean?"

Harry squeezed a handful of Sirius' jumper in his fingers; he could be brave. "Ron said..." And all of sudden, the words tumbled out in a rush, "...when you and Remus get married that I'd have to go away. He said married people don't like having anyone around, especially children."

Sirius' arms had tightened, and Harry couldn't stop the new tears that dripped onto his cheeks. "Is that what you were worried about?" Sirius asked, his voice scratchy. "That I'd send you away?"

"Ron said you would," Harry whispered. Sirius laid his cheek on Harry's head.

"Ron shouldn't have said that," Sirius said thickly. "I would never send you away, Harry, no more than the Weasleys would send one of their children away. I love you too much to let you go anywhere."

Harry felt a lot warmer as he sat there, tucked in Sirius' arms. "But you love Remus too, don't you?"

Sirius nodded against the top of Harry's head. "Very much."

Harry scrubbed at his eyes as he thought about that. "Do you want to marry him?"

Sirius didn't answer him right away; his hands began circling over Harry's back again. "I think I might like to," he said softly, "if... it wouldn't make you unhappy."

Harry twisted a little so that he could peer up at his godfather's face; Sirius' eyebrows were scrunched together again, but this time he looked worried instead of angry.

"Will Remus live here if you get married?"

"Would that bother you?" Sirius asked as he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket. He slipped it under Harry's glasses and dabbed at his eyes. "Blow," he instructed quietly.

Harry did, smiling a little as he drew cool air in through his nostrils, that stuffy feeling gone. "Where would he stay?" he asked curiously. "Ron said married people sleep together... they can hug more that way, he says."

Sirius coughed, looking like he swallowed something down the wrong way like Harry sometimes did when he tried to swallow too much cereal at once. "Yes," he finally said, his voice a bit hoarse, "he would sleep in my room."

Harry nodded thoughtfully; he picked a stray thread off his trousers. "Would Remus be our family then?" he asked, very quietly that time. Sometimes he thought Remus must be very lonely, living all alone. "Like when we signed that parchment at the Ministry to make us a family?"

"Yes," Sirius answered; his knuckles found Harry's chin and nudged it up. "No matter what happens though, you're always my family... All right, Harry?" he asked softly. Harry nodded solemnly; Sirius kissed his forehead and tucked him once more against his chest.

--

Sirius gazed at his sleeping godson, sighing deeply before making his way down the steps. Remus was standing by the front door, fastening his cloak around his shoulders.

Sirius' eyebrows drew together. "Where are you going?"

Remus stared at his sleeves as he tugged them down. "My manuscript needs some work before the deadline."

Sirius studied the stiff line of his jaw before asking softly, "You don't think we should talk about what happened at dinner?"

Remus looked up; his smile was strained. "You don't need to explain anything to me, Sirius. Harry comes first."

"For both of us," Sirius murmured as he walked toward the other man.

"Of course."

Sirius nodded and let his back slouch against the door, silently blocking the other man's exit.

"I do understand," Remus said quietly. "So there isn't any reason to talk about it... and I really ought to go home."

Sirius frowned and folded his arms over his chest. "Do you really think I'm just going to let you walk out of here?"

Remus glanced away. "Sirius-"

"You don't even know why Harry was so upset."

Remus swallowed; it took a moment for his eyes to come back to Sirius. "He thought we were going to be married."

"He thought we were going to get rid of him," Sirius corrected, his voice exuding a calm he didn't feel. Remus' brown eyes widened.

"But why?"

"Because Ron told him that married couples like to be alone."

Remus' gaze flicked to the stairs. "And that's why he was angry with me? He thought I was replacing him? But you convinced him it wasn't so, didn't you? Of course you did," he said with a little shake of his head. "Silly question..."

Sirius studied Remus' face--the compassionate lines of worry and anxiety etched around his eyes and lips. Worry for Harry. The thoughts that had refused to leave Sirius' head since dinner overwhelmed him.

He pushed himself off the door, his stomach tingling with nervous anticipation. "He asked me if I wanted to marry you," he said, his voice dropping to a quiet murmur.

Remus pulled in a breath through his nose. "Did he?"

"Yes, he did," Sirius answered, his gaze unwavering. He caressed Remus' jaw; fingertips memorizing the lines of his face.

Remus closed his eyes. "What did you say?"

"Yes."

Sirius smiled as Remus' eyes popped open. "You want to marry me?" he demanded, his voice hoarse. Sirius leaned in and kissed him as hard as he could.

"Yes, you twit," he said as Remus gasped for air. "How can you even ask me that? I've wanted to marry you for as long as I can remember-" Remus frowned, stilling Sirius' effusive rambling. "What's wrong?"

"What about Harry? We can't-"

"Harry will be just fine," Sirius broke in. "He was very concerned that you would leave if I didn't marry you." He narrowed his eyes in sudden appraisal. "Which seems not to be far off the mark."

Remus flushed. "I didn't know what else to do. If Harry doesn't want me here..."

"He does," Sirius said firmly. "He reminded me how much we both love you."

Remus smiled slowly.

"Face it, Moony, the kid adores you." Remus' entire face lit up. "Do you think Molly would be offended if we had the ceremony in our back garden instead of hers?"

"Yes," Remus said with a chuckle. "She would never let us hear the end of it."