Swallowed in the Sea

Chapter Five: I Wish I Hadn't Seen All Of The Realness

'James! Lily!'

James started. He looked at his clock rather groggily. It was five in the bloody morning.

'James! Lily! Are you there?'

James only now recognised Remus' voice coming from the living room.

'Hello?'

He jumped up from the bed and ran down the corridor to the fireplace, yelling 'Lily! Get up!' on his way there.

'Remus, sorry, what is it?' he asked, feeling rather scared. 'Did something happen to Sirius? He didn't-'

'No,' Remus said gravely. 'Sirius' condition hasn't changed. It's Peter.'

Lily came down the corridor and flopped herself onto the couch, still half asleep. She grunted something into the pillows, her hair hanging messily over her face, and gestured for them to get the conversation over with.

'What about Peter?' James asked nervously. 'Did they find him?'

'Well,' Remus said, hesitatingly, 'you could say that, yes.'

'Meaning?'

'The Order invaded Malfoy Manor last-' Remus started, but he stopped mid-sentence. 'Listen, I'm not so sure if it's safe talking about this over the fire. Is it okay if I come over?'

'Yeah, sure,' James said. 'Wards are up, so you'll have to Apparate down the street.'

'No problem,' Remus said, and his head vanished out of the fire.

James sighed and turned to Lily, who had fallen asleep again.

'Lily?' he said, gently.

'Mrrrgh,' she grunted and turned to face him. 'What's that?'

'Remus is coming over in a few seconds.'

'Oh dear.' She groaned, tiredly. 'I don't have to get dressed, do I?'

There was a soft rap on the door.

'No.' James smiled. 'But I'd appreciate it if you could make us some tea.'

*

'You are far too awake for the time of day,' James joked as he let Remus in.

'I had better,' Remus answered with a smile. 'I've been up since two.'

'Are you going to tell me why?'

'Sure, when-' Remus walked over to a still sleepy Lily (who had just got into the living room carrying a tray) and kissed her on the cheek.

'Morning, Lily, sorry to wake you.'

He turned back to James. 'When you show me some of your good manners and offer me a seat.'

'Five thirty in the morning is not the time to be British, Moony.' James yawned and closed the door. 'Just find a place that's not covered in toys or Lily.'

'I feel much appreciated at the moment, dearest,' Lily said from the couch she was sitting on.

'Ever the gentleman, isn't he?' Remus smiled.

'If only I'd known before I said I do,' Lily giggled. 'I'll go check on Harry.'

'Love you too, Lily,' James answered, as he and Remus looked after her.

They both took seats at the dinner table.

'So.' James sighed. 'I'm hoping this is good news you've got.'

'I don't know,' Remus said. 'I mean, I think it's-'

'They've caught him, haven't they?'

'Well, that mostly depends on what you consider catching,' Remus answered. 'As I said, the Order invaded Malfoy Manor, last night.'

'Did they find anything?'

'Lots of things,' Remus said. 'Most intriguing was an address book with the Dark Mark on it and a diary, hidden beneath a loose floorboard.'

James rolled his eyes. 'You'd think that people like Lucius Malfoy would know that that's one of the first things the Order would check.'

'I think he wanted us to find it.' Remus sighed. 'Lucius is not stupid. This way the Order has got proof against him and he'll be trialled before the Wizengamot.'

'And of course, he's pleading Imperius,' James said, catching on to the plan. 'He'll buy out the Wizengamot-'

'And he'll get his name cleared for sure,' Remus finished. 'There's nothing we can do about it.'

'But what's this got to do with Peter?' James asked.

'Well, we checked the addresses,' Remus continued. 'We didn't find much; old hiding places, basements with toxic potions and hidden laboratories and such. However, one of the addresses was just a café in the suburbs of Sheffield.'

Remus suddenly fell silent. James got the distinct impression that he had a lot of trouble explaining what had happened.

'Well, you see, I wasn't there, I was checking another address, so I don't know what happened exactly,' he finally said. 'But, apparently, someone got the idea to look at the emergency exit. They- er- they found Peter's body hidden behind a few garbage cans. They killed him.'

'Killed- But... why?' James asked, baffled.

Remus sighed and ran a hand over his face. 'I don't know, James. My guess is they weren't very happy he couldn't find out where you were hiding. He probably won't have been of much use for anything else.'

'I don't know what to think, you know?' James said. 'I don't know if I should be disappointed for not getting him myself, or mad because they killed him or sad because he used to be our friend.'

'Peter's dead?' Lily asked, bewildered. She was standing in the doorway, still in her nightgown.

'Yeah.' James gestured her to come closer. 'The Death Eaters killed him, apparently.'

'Oh God,' she gasped. 'They must be desperate if they start killing their own people.'

'They have been doing it for a while,' Remus said. 'They started suspecting everyone of double-crossing or wanting out. Most people knew too much and served too little purpose.'

'That's horrible,' Lily whispered.

'This war is horrible,' Remus said.

'Listen, Moony,' James asked as he put his arms around Lily. 'D'you have to be somewhere these next few hours?'

'I expect the Order will want to see me around ten,' Remus answered calmly. 'They're investigating Peter's death. But until then, I'm free, I think. Why?'

'I want you to tell me everything you can about this war,' James said vigorously. 'There's too little we know about all of this to feel safe.'

*

'So it was Albus who killed Voldemort?' James asked.

'Not really,' Remus answered. 'It was Hogwarts that really killed him, if he really is dead. That's what I think, at least.'

James and Lily looked puzzled.

'I really don't know that much, James. We've been talking about it a lot, and this is the most logical explanation we've come up with. Albus always said that Voldemort couldn't understand love, because he'd never experienced it,' Remus tried again. 'Hogwarts practically consists of it. All those children who love their families, their friends, their girl- and boyfriends, you can sense that. When the last two years stood up and were prepared to fight for their loved ones, I daresay Voldemort was quite shocked. He made some crucial mistakes. I think he underestimated the power of love.'

'What was he doing there anyway?'

'No one knows,' Remus said. 'Apparently, he wanted something only Hogwarts could give.'

'It seems to me someone was getting cocky,' James said with a smile. 'What happened between Albus and Voldemort?'

'No one knows,' Remus told them. 'Albus won't tell us what happened; he says the time's not right yet. He insists the war is over, for now, though.'

'For now?'

'That's what he said.'

'Why won't he-'

'He'll tell us if he thinks we need to know,' Lily interrupted. 'I trust Albus. D'you want some more tea, Remus?'

'No thanks,' he said. 'I should get going. I've told you all I know and the Order'll want to see me soon. I'd like to freshen up before I go, though.'

'Is there any chance they'll let us in there too?' James asked quickly.

'Of course,' Remus answered. 'You deserve to know what happened to Peter as much as I do, if not more. Wait, who will watch Harry?'

'Bollocks,' James swore. 'I'll stay home.'

'No,' Lily said carefully. 'We could always ask Petunia to look after him.'

'I'd rather eat my wand than bring him there again.'

'They're not that bad,' Lily whimpered, 'and they have a boy Harry's age.'

'Lily, last time we picked him up,' James said with a cocked eyebrow, 'they'd shoved him into a cupboard.'

'Do you remember Molly Prewett? Gideon and Fabian's sister?' Remus asked suddenly. 'Plump little woman, red hair, brown eyes.'

'Yeah, sure,' James answered. 'She's married to that redheaded bloke from the Ministry, right?'

'Arthur Weasley.' Remus smiled. 'Yes. I got to know them quite well during these last few months as we were investigating Peter and his work at the Ministry. They've got seven children, their eldest son is at Hogwarts now. I remember she used to look after the children of wizarding families in the neighbourhood for a few Sickles. Maybe I should-'

'Oh, if you'd be so kind, Remus,' Lily said.

'Okay, I'll come pick you up in about an hour.'

'Make that an hour and a half,' Lily said.

'No problem.'

'Remus,' James started, feeling a tad insecure, 'about what happened at the hospital-'

'It's okay, Prongs,' Remus said with a smile. 'Don't mention it.'

*

'I can't see anything,' James whined. 'The Shrieking Shack is gone?'

'James, you've been under the Fidelius charm for five months and you still don't know how it works?' Remus sighed. 'Here.'

He thrust a scrap of parchment into his friend's hands. James immediately recognised Albus Dumbledore's tidy, curly handwriting.

The Shrieking Shack (which I trust you remember, James)

'Funny guy, Albus,' James said. He passed the scrap to Lily and looked up. He jumped a little when he suddenly saw the Shrieking Shack standing in front of him, in all its glory.

'It hasn't changed a bit,' Lily breathed.

'It took quite some hard work to let everyone think we'd torn it down,' Remus said. 'We're lucky people still don't dare come near. They think the ground's haunted as well.'

They went inside. James honestly didn't know what had happened. The Shack might never look like a wealthy mansion, but they certainly had made some progress here. There was a dark grey, greenish kind of wall-to-wall carpet and the walls were a soft yellow.

'Better, isn't it?' Remus smiled. 'I had a bit of fun with this place over the last few months.'

'Is this your doing, Remus?' Lily asked.

'Well, I'd spent most time here of all the people in the Order,' he explained. 'Albus knew I'd like to see it changed and asked if I didn't want to be the one to change it.'

'You are so gay, Moony,' James said.

'If I didn't know you any better,' Remus said with a sly grin, 'I'd be offended. We spend a lot of time here, we might as well enjoy that time as best we can.'

He led them up the stairs and said, 'We've converted the master bedroom into a conference room, I think you'll like it.'

'Master bedroom?' James asked. 'Is that the room we-'

Remus nodded mischievously.

'I'm intrigued,' James admitted. 'I haven't been in that room for four years.'

'You'll grow tired of it soon enough,' Remus answered. 'It may look fancy upon first seeing it, but by now, I know every crack in the wall, the length of every floorboard and if you give me a minute, I'll show you exactly where Severus and Sirius started fighting and dented the plaster.'

Remus abruptly stopped climbing the stairs, his eyes unfocused and fixed on a step, and looked as if he could hit himself. He ran a hand through his hair, sighed and forced a smile.
'As you can imagine, that was before-' Remus stopped and frowned, 'before-'

'We know,' Lily said in a soft voice and put a hand on his shoulder.

'I'm not used to it, I guess.' Remus' voice broke, and for some reason, that scared James shitless. 'I've been sitting by his bed for months and I'm still not used to it. Especially not now you're back.'

Suddenly, they heard a door open and someone descending the stairs. It is only when she had walked right up to them that James recognised Hestia Jones. Her hair was terribly short, as if it had been shaved off not too long ago and she had a huge scar running next to her right ear.

'Remus, you're here,' she said in a hoarse voice. She had changed so much, she'd got so much older. 'James and Lily. I'm so glad to see you again. Where's Harry?'

She motioned for them to follow her and started walking back to the conference room.

'Molly Weasley's looking after him,' Lily said warmly. 'We were very lucky Remus thought of her.'

'Molly will take good care of him,' Hestia said with a smile. 'She's a wonderful mother.'

'How are you doing, Hestia?' Remus asked and even though James knew that he was like this, it still surprised him how quickly Remus could recompose.

'I've still got those horrible headaches,' she said with a smile. 'Although that could just be Kingsley with his incessant nagging about me growing my hair back.'

'I can't see why you should,' Remus told her. 'It kind of suits you. How's Kingsley, doing better?'

'He's such a baby.' Hestia laughed. 'He acts all tough and makes you think he's this big emotionless pillar of stone, but he's all soft on the inside. He's having trouble with the arm, though. He won't show you, but he's having a hard time dealing with all this.'

James tugged on Remus' shirt and mouthed 'Arm?'

'Oh, I almost forgot you didn't know. Kingsley lost his right arm when they rescued Sirius. It's not his wand-arm and he's got a magical one instead, like Alastor Moody's leg, but I still can't imagine how hard this must be for him.' He turned back to Hestia. 'He knows I'm forever in his debt, right?'

'As are we,' James said quickly. 'If he ever needs anything, then-'

'He knows,' she answered. 'As if he couldn't, Remus, with you sending him fruit baskets and everything Honeydukes has ever made. If you keep this up, he'll leave me to come and live with you.'

James and Lily shared a confused glance. That was something they hadn't expected. Hestia Jones and Kingsley Shacklebolt, together.

Hestia seemed to have noticed. She smiled. 'We've been together ever since we joined the Order,' she said. 'You didn't think I had a good reason to dump Sirius, back then?'

'Yeah, you would have,' James grinned. 'Who would've known that the Order would have such a positive effect on our personal life: me and Lily, Frank and Alice, you and Kingsley, Remus and-'

'Let's get inside, why don't we?' Lily said quickly, as she saw the sad look on Remus' face. 'Is everyone here?'

'Everyone that survived,' Hestia said sadly. 'Except for Mad-Eye. He couldn't make it.'

'Moody?' James asked. 'Why not?'

'He's been posted at Azkaban,' Remus answered. 'He takes care of the interrogations there. He hardly ever comes over to mainland.'

'He does ever since Sirius was-' Hestia started, but she swallowed her last words. 'How is Sirius?'

'Still the same.'

'Let's get going,' Lily said again. 'Don't want to keep the Order waiting, do we?'

'Good idea,' James agreed. He was the first to step into what was once the master bedroom.

It may look fancy upon first seeing it, Remus had said and he had most definitely been right. The walls were painted a deep scarlet and a magnificent chandelier was hanging from the ceiling. The four-poster that had once been there had been replaced by four large oak tables which were set in a square. There were as many chairs as there were members in the inner circle of the Order and James was shocked to see that almost three quarters of them were vacant.

'Good morning, James, Lily,' Dumbledore said as he nodded at them. 'We're glad to have you back among us. Please, take a seat and we'll start this meeting immediately.'

Lily took James by the hand and followed him as they took part in their first Order meeting in six months.