Curse of the Moon

Chapter 3: Hogwarts

"Hogwarts was...different. It was terrifying, certainly, in more ways than one, but incredible, and amazing, nonetheless.

"I used to believe that that day, when I first saw platform nine-and-three-quarters, filled to bursting with hundreds of excited students, marked the end of the first part of my life. When I think about it now, I realize that I must have been wrong. Before then, I had my family and we lived well enough, but it was not the same. It was not until I attended Hogwarts that I first learned to live."

~ Journal of Remus Lupin

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The noise was nearly overwhelming. After years of isolation from nearly everyone, Remus had to fight the urge to flinch reflexively in discomfort as the various sounds and scents of King's Cross Station assailed his senses. Rona, who had come with him, as well as his parents, placed a hand on his shoulder in encouragement, and he shook himself, heading to where he could see platforms nine and ten, aware of his family, waiting a couple of meters behind.

Looking at the very solid-seeming barrier, he walked to it casually, as his sister had told him, and leaned against it. Although he had been expecting it, it was still a surprise to feel no resistance, and he slid through, until he stumbled onto a new platform. Looking back, he saw the number "9 ¾."

"Well, Remus," Rona told him as she stepped through the barrier, "this is the Hogwarts Express."

A red train was on the tracks in front of him; students and their parents milled around, putting their belongings onboard and catching up with friends. Most of the people here, he saw, wore robes; he himself would change later, on the train.

With wary eyes, Remus's gaze wandered over the amount of people there. There must, he decided, have been somewhere around three hundred students, not to mention parents and family members. He looked back nervously at his sister, who bent down to give him a brief, but warm, hug. "Go and have fun, little brother. You'll love it."

"Thanks," he told her, feeling some of the uncertainty evaporate.

When they straightened up, Remus saw his parents come through. "I know you're worried," his father told him softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Trust Dumbledore; he's a good man and he knows what he's doing. Everything will be fine."

His mother bent down and embraced him as well, telling him gently, "Try to have fun, Remus. And..." She pulled back, looking him in the eye. "I'm sure you'll do wonderfully in all your classes, but there's more to Hogwarts than just learning spells and potions. Please, don't be afraid to make a few friends, too."

"I..." he started, but found that he wasn't sure what to say. The past five years had taught him to be wary of 'friends,' especially if they knew his secret. Not that he planned to tell anyone. Finally he settled on, "Okay. I'll try." He glanced at the large clock on the wall. 10:55. "The train leaves at eleven," he said, though they all knew it already. "I should probably go."

"Owl us soon," his mother called as he started to move away. She was smiling, but lines of worry were creasing her forehead.

Remus forced a smile onto his own features to hide the feeling of anxiousness that was creeping over him. "I will, Mum. Goodbye Da, Rona. I'll see you at the holidays, then."

Quickly, he easily stowed his light trunk onto an empty compartment of the train. He didn't really have much to bring, besides the required textbooks and robes, and it wasn't too heavy. A girl in the next compartment was having trouble, though. Her trunk was larger than his, while she herself had a slight figure. Remus lingered, wondering whether he should offer to help, but she spoke up first.

"Er...excuse me?" she asked shyly. She seemed somewhat breathless from her struggle with her weighty trunk and hooked an errant strand of red hair behind her ear. "Sorry, but I'm having a bit of trouble with this...would you mind helping me?"

"No, of course not," he answered. "Here, let me..." Remus hefted her possessions easily and lifted them up next to his.

"Oh..." she said, a look of vague surprise showing in her green eyes. "I thought it was heavy, but I guess..." she looked at him uncertainly, perhaps wondering about his strength, and he shifted uncomfortably until she averted her gaze. "Well, thank you loads, anyway. Are you a first year here, too?" She looked at him, as if hoping he'd say yes.

"I...yes, I am," he told her and, remembering his manners, held out his hand with some hesitance. "Remus Lupin."

The whistle blew and they both jumped. "We'd better get going," the girl said anxiously. "It was nice to meet you, Remus," she added, belatedly shaking his hand. "I'm Lily Evans...guess I'll see you later!"

Then, flashing a small smile at him, Lily turned and sped back to a pair of adults--her parents, it seemed--and gave them both a squeeze before running off again and disappearing back onto the train. She and her parents were all wearing Muggle clothing, and Remus wondered briefly if she was Muggleborn. He'd heard that more Muggleborn and half-blood students were being accepted into Hogwarts these days, and guessed that it was because of Professor Dumbledore.

Realizing the time himself, Remus hurried onto the train as well, just as it started moving. As the compartment was still empty of all other students, he reached up and pulled The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 1 down from his trunk, chose a seat, and began to read. It was much easier to worry about Hover Charms than it was to fret over what would happen once they reached Hogwarts and he would be forced to talk to his fellow students.

Just then, the door of the compartment slid open and two boys came in talking cheerfully. They stopped at the sight of Remus sitting in his seat, and the latter looked up from his book.

"Hi," greeting the one in front, who was taller than his companion. "Is anyone sitting in here?"

"Besides you, he means," amended the other, smiling, pushing up a pair of spectacles as he spoke.

"Uh...no," Remus managed. "No, go ahead, sit down."

"Thanks. I'm Sirius, by the way," answered the first boy with a grin, extending his hand. "Sirius Black. And this is James," he added, pointing to his friend. "Er...James..." He looked to his companion questioningly; those two seemed to have just met as well.

"...Potter," put in James, shaking Remus's hand as well. "We're both first years. You?"

"Remus Lupin," replied Remus. "I'm a first year, too." Surveying the other two, he noticed that they were both dressed in their robes already and, from the ease that they showed in such an environment, they were probably from old wizarding families. He noticed with a bit of embarrassment that they were both wearing new, pure black robes, in contrast to Remus's own faded, second-hand ones that were in his trunk.

"Excellent!" exclaimed Sirius, plopping himself down a few seats forward. "We'll all be in the same dorm then!"

"Well, if we get into the same house, you mean," James reminded him, raking a hand carelessly through his already untidy hair, "and we won't know that until the Sorting, I guess. Either of you know what we've got to do for that? My mum said something about the professors' judging you by what spells you know, but I think she might have been joking."

"Spells? She'd better have been joking," said the taller boy.

"I don't think that can be it," Remus put in thoughtfully. "That would just put the Muggleborn students at a disadvantage, wouldn't it? Since they probably wouldn't know any magic at all."

"Oh, right. Guess that's true," Sirius reflected. "I wonder how, then...?"

"Never mind that; we'll find out when we get there," James interrupted enthusiastically. "What houses do you think you'll get?"

"Hopefully Gryffindor," Sirius answered, but then his face twisted in disgust. "I'll probably get Slytherin, though."

"Slytherin?" exclaimed James, pulling a face with an expression almost identical to his friend's. "Why Slytherin? Surely you don't want to be in that house?"

"Of course not!" the other boy answered hurriedly. "It's just that...well, half my family's been in there. I mean, there've been a few Gryffindors and Ravenclaws too, of course, but I honestly think they'll disown me if I get into Hufflepuff. Come to think of it," he added as an afterthought, "I think they've disowned most of the Gryffindors in the family, too."

Personally, Remus thought Hufflepuff seemed as nice a house as any. It was, after all, supposed to be representative of fairness; it was said that the founder of the house, Helga Hufflepuff, was the only one of the four who had accepted students without discrimination. Slytherin had a dark enough reputation and a tendency toward bigotry when it came to blood, but the assumption that they were all evil was prejudiced just the same, wasn't it?

He kept the thoughts to himself, though, as the other two in his compartment would definitely not agree. James and Sirius seemed friendly enough, and Remus was unwilling to lose their company for the time.

"I'll be in Gryffindor for sure," said James with confidence, and though he offered no further explanation, Remus thought he was probably right. He was too carefree and laidback to be in either Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw, and certainly open and confident. Slytherin was a possibility, but since he was so obviously against the idea, it seemed unlikely that he'd be put in there.

As James and Sirius continued to talk between themselves, Remus lowered his eyes back to his book, though his concentration was divided between the words and the two boys' conversation. It didn't matter that they weren't talking to him; at least they didn't seem to mind being in the same compartment, and Remus was perfectly happy just to listen to them chatter.

Suddenly, Remus looked up, hearing scuffling sounds outside the door to their compartment. He stood, fingering the wand in his pocket, and James, noticing his behavior, stopped mid-sentence, causing Sirius to turn as well. "What is it?" Sirius asked.

"I just heard something. It's probably nothing," Remus answered, though a frown remained on his face. He could hear some sneering laughter and a thud and he narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

Aware that the two other boys were following him in curiosity, Remus slid the glass door open in time to see a small boy being pushed toward him. Catching the boy before he fell, Remus heard his terrified squeak and pushed himself in front of him. Facing him were a group of older students, also in their robes already, which bore a crest in the shape of a snake. A group of Slytherin older students, then, with two girls and three boys.

"What's going on here?" demanded an angry voice behind him, and he heard James come forward, followed by Sirius. Vaguely, Remus registered that they must look a bit ridiculous. They were three first year students trying to stop a gang of students at least four or five years older; even Sirius, the tallest, was a few inches shorter than the smallest of them. To their credit, neither James nor Sirius seemed to be the slightest bit fazed by the odds; indeed, both of them had their wands out bravely.

The Slytherin students were watching with amused eyes, obviously knowing as well that they outnumbered and outranked Remus and his friends. "How...sweet," said a smooth, cold voice that belonged to a tall, blond-haired boy--obviously the leader of the gang. "The little first years are trying to help the Mudblood...brave of them, isn't it?"

"Watch it, Malfoy," snarled Sirius as James's wand leveled at the Slytherins. Remus stiffened at the word of Mudblood; that other boy must have been a Muggleborn and have no idea of what was happening, much less have a chance to fight back. One of the girls laughed.

"Ah, my dear cousin," she crooned. "You've never quite lived up to the family name, have you?"

Remus felt a curious surge of irritation to heard this jab at his new-found friend. He did not need to know the whole Black family history to realize that Sirius was a misfit among them, but Sirius had seemed like a good person so far. Perhaps there was more to the assumptions about Slytherin than he'd thought...

"Lay off him, Bellatrix," James said immediately in defense. "What, do you need five sixth years against a few first years now?" It was a bit strange that they all seemed to know each other, but Remus did not comment.

"A Potter, as well?" the boy called Malfoy responded, his hand inching imperceptibly for his pocket. None of the others seemed to notice, but just as the Slytherin plunged his hand in, Remus flipped his own out as well, his reflexes just as fast as James's. A shower of sparks flew from his, Remus's, and Malfoy's wands, and in the confusion, one of the other boys made as if to rush at Sirius, who looked ready to begin a fight.

Filled with adrenaline and more angry than he had allowed himself to be in years, Remus smoothly slipped in front of Sirius, catching the older boy's fist as it sailed toward them. He bore the impact with gritted teeth and held the fist tightly in his own for a minute.

Then, with a growl, he shoved the Slytherin back into the small crowd of his gathered friends. A flash of uncertainly flickered in the boy's eyes. Suddenly, a hand pulled on his arm.

Remus turned rapidly just in time to see the small boy they'd seen earlier backing away slightly. His eyes widening, the he forced himself into calm and relax his stance.

Looking back at the older students, he saw one boy scrambling to his feet as the others watched with narrowed eyes, wands still at the ready. Abruptly, he felt another burst of irritation at them, but he again managed to suppress it before allowing it to grow, forcibly remaining calm instead.

"Let's go," he said quietly, and, not waiting to see if his friends would do as he said, he pushed past the other three first years and into their compartment. A second later, James and Sirius followed, along with the other boy.

When the four of them had flopped into seats, Sirius burst out, "Merlin, Remus! Avery has got to be twice your size!"

"Avery?" Remus questioned, already picking up his copy of Standard Book of Spells.

"Yeah...that's the one you threw halfway across the compartment."

"You're exaggerating," he replied, flipping the book's pages idly, his voice more composed than he felt. "It wasn't nearly half the compartment. And speaking of throwing people around," he added, deliberately changing the subject, "are you alright?" he asked the other boy.

Their small companion smiled shyly. "Fine," he answered, "thanks to you guys. By the way, my name's Peter Pettigrew."

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James, Sirius, and Peter had all worn expressions of relief at hearing that the Sorting of the students comprised only of wearing a hat, who would make all the decisions for them. Remus, however, was not comforted. The hat had said something about being able to look inside their minds...what would it see inside his? Perhaps it spoke aloud as it chose where to Sort everyone...

He glanced at his three companions, talking happily among themselves. Peter, it turned out, was indeed a Muggleborn, and James and Sirius were eagerly explaining Quidditch to him, while Peter listened in awe. What if they find out? Remus wondered. Instinctively, he looked up to Professor Dumbledore, and the man smiled encouragingly at him.

They wouldn't find out, he decided. No matter what, he would allow himself the luxury of friendship just this one time, at least.

"Black, Sirius!" Worry passed briefly over Sirius's face before his usual, cheerful expression took its place. Remus watched anxiously as Sirius sat on the stool with the hat nearly sliding over his eyes as it sat on its head. It twitched immediately, about to call out a house, then stopped, as if reconsidering. Finally, after a short while more of consideration, it shouted out to the hall,

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Grinning broadly, Sirius swept the hat from his head and took off carelessly for the Gryffindor table amidst cheers.

Soon, the girl he had met earlier, Lily Evans, was placed with Sirius as well. The nervous feeling building ever more inside him, Remus counted down the names before...

"Lupin, Remus!"

Remus froze. He looked around, but the students were watching him, like they had all the other first years. James nudged him forward and whispered, "Good luck, Remus." With a deep breath, Remus's feet moved automatically toward the chair on which stood the Sorting hat. Sitting down on it, he pulled the Hat over his head, relieved as it dropped over his eyes, hiding the Great Hall from his sight.

He started and tensed as a voice sounded. "Ah, Mr. Lupin. I was wondering when I would see one of you kind here; it's been a while since we've had a werewolf in Hogwarts."

He remained frozen for several moments until he remembered that he'd not heard the Hat speaking to anyone else. Was it speaking directly inside his mind, then? But it was already going on.

"You have the talent to be a Ravenclaw, certainly...my, what a mind! Diligent, yes...but I doubt you would fit in well with the Hufflepuffs. Slytherin, then?"

An image of Malfoy and the other Slytherins crossed Remus's mind, and the hat chuckled silently. "No, I suppose not there, either. Gryffindor, then...you showed tremendous courage just by coming here, young Lupin. I remember Sorting your sister and mother into that house, as well, and I think it will fit you....Yes, I believe you would fit just fine in GRYFFINDOR!"

As the hat shouted out the last word, Remus pulled the Hat off and made his way to the Gryffindor table, slipping in with Sirius and a few others he recognized by sight, slumping in his seat.

To his relief, but not necessarily his surprise, Peter and James soon joined them. James and Sirius seemed to think the exact same way, and they began talking excitedly at once, not stopping when the other tables received new students, but cheering as hard as any other when Gryffindor's numbers swelled.

And before long, the feast had begun. A plethora of food appeared on the tabled before them, and Remus eagerly picked up a fork to begin eating.

As soon as he did so, however, he felt a burning on his palm and dropped the utensil with a soft gasp. Silver. Looking around, no one seemed to have noticed; two of his friends were still caught in their conversation, and Peter was talking to Lily. Remus glanced up at the staff table to see Professor Dumbledore watching him in consternation, but he could say nothing without alerting others to his...condition.

Remus bit his lip and turned back to the feast, this time gingerly wrapping the sleeve of his robes around his stinging hand before reaching once more for the fork to spear a piece of food. Perhaps if he asked the Headmaster, there might be another way. It would not be long before someone noticed if he kept eating all his meals this way, and it would be hard to find an excuse.

Around him, Lily and Peter were talking animatedly. Both of them first years, they were both still in awe about the recent happenings, not least that they were in a magical castle filled with ghosts, wands, and a beautifully enchanted ceiling. The other two boys were already engaged in a larger and louder conversation with students from other classes, instantly popular. Remus remained quiet, still feeling quite overwhelmed at the amount of people around him and was content to listen to the others' eager gossip.

Professor Dumbledore stood suddenly and the Great Hall quieted at once. "Now that you are enjoying the delightful feast that has been prepared for us," he said brightly, "I am afraid that I must interrupt your dining for a few announcements.

"Firstly, our caretaker has asked that I remind you that magic is not allowed in the corridors, and that the list of items that are banned from this school includes those that were banned last year as well as some that were added recently. Please see Mr. Filch's office for the entire list of 183 item. Prefects and our Head Boy and Girl will be enforcing these rules, as well as staff members.

"Secondly, please note that all students are expected to remain on Hogwarts' grounds at all times, except for third years and above, who may wander to Hogsmeade on the specified weekends. Likewise, all students must be in their common rooms or dormitories by nine 'o clock each night. Under no circumstances, unless escorted by a professor, may anyone enter the Forbidden Forest. It was named so for a reason." James and Sirius exchanged a look, grins beginning to spread over their faces.

"And finally," Dumbledore continued, "we have recently procured a Whomping Willow. I warn you not to approach the Willow or otherwise provoke it, lest you receive severe injury." At this, his eyes flickered briefly to Remus as other students whispered to each other, wondering how one would go about provoking a tree or receiving injury from one.

"Now, as I am sure you are tired of listening to an old man talk," Dumbledore concluded, his eyes twinkling merrily as always, "I will wish you a good night."

At this, he sat down again, and a few students at each table, wearing a badge with the letter "P," stood and called for the first years to follow them. As the youngest students trailed uncertainly behind their prefects, second through seventh years trickled out of the Great Hall on their own. Remus hung toward the back of their group as a prefect called, "Gryffindor first years, this way please!"

As they passed through the doors, he found that the castle, amazingly, looked even bigger from here than it had from without. Stairs moved as they walked up, and halfway through, Peter Pettigrew seemed to sink down into a step and remain stuck there. Lily maintained a grip on him and Remus came forward to help as well. When the two of them had finally maneuvered the boy out, the prefect added knowingly, "Ah, yes...you'll get used to avoiding that step before long." Peter rubbed his leg and looked back accusingly at the offending step.

"And the common room is behind here," announced the other prefect when they'd finally reached their destination. Remus looked curiously at a large portrait hanging on the wall, depicting a plump woman who was smiling courteously at them all. "To enter the portrait," the student went on, "you need to remember this password, which will change every year and occasionally throughout the year. For now, the password is 'Cave canem.'"

At his words, the lady told him, "Indeed I will, young Gryffindor," before opening up to reveal the hole leading to the common room.

Remus followed the others in. Cave canem... It shouldn't have bothered him, as it was a fairly common saying, but he shivered imperceptibly as they went in anyway. Beware the dog. It was just a bit too close to his secret for comfort.

The common room held a merrily burning fire in one wall, several tables and chairs around the room, and some couches for lounging in the middle of the room. The décor seemed to center on the colors of red and gold...unsurprising, as those were the Gryffindor colors.

"First year boys, please follow Mark up the stairs to the left," instructed the female prefect. "My name is Rose; girls, come with me up the right-hand stairs. If any of you needs a hand with anything, come to Mark or myself, or any of the other Gryffindor prefects."

James turned around as they were following Mark up to their dormitories; the other two boys had already entered. "Hey Remus, guess Sirius was right, huh? About us all being in the dorm, I mean?" He winked cheerfully and followed Sirius in, choosing a bed at once and throwing himself onto it, calling, "C'mon, mate, don't just stand out there."

Allowing a smile to slip onto his face, Remus edged past the prefect and found sat down on the last bed, the one closest to the window. The prefect magically extinguished most of the lights and advised them, "You'd best get some sleep early tonight; you've got a long day ahead of you."

Remus found his small trunk at the foot of the bed and slipped on his pajamas before crawling into bed. "Goodnight, guys," a timid voice called out: Peter.

"Night, Gryffindors," called out Sirius in the dark, much more loudly. "Merlin, that feels good. Gryffindors."

Remus could not suppress a silly sort of grin that crept over his face at this as he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

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James Potter opened his eyes in the dark to find himself in his dormitory. Pulling open the curtains surrounding his four-poster bed, he looked out the window that was only one bed away from him and saw a sliver of the moon hanging high in the sky. Night had fully fallen over Hogwarts; but then why had he woken up?

He remained in bed, contemplating this, when a rustling sound to his right caught his attention. He looked over and pinpointed the sound to be coming from the next bed. Who had been in that one? It was only a moment before he remembered: Remus Lupin.

The curtains hid that bed from sight and James watched uncertainly for a while. Remus was different, somehow. It wasn't just that his possessions were shabbier than the others'; James couldn't have cared less about that, anyway. It wasn't just the way that he'd thrown the sixth year, Avery, off himself on the train, and heard them pushing Peter around before anyone else had...though that might have been part of it.

As the rustling sounds became more pronounced, though not loud enough to interfere with Sirius's dead sleep or Peter's light snores, James swung his legs over the bed and took a few steps toward Remus. Despite anything strange he'd thought about his fellow Gryffindor, his most obvious trait was how shy he seemed. Well, perhaps not even that, exactly; he had been friendly enough on the train and hadn't seemed the least bit afraid of the Slytherin gang--he was a Gryffindor, after all. Maybe introverted was more accurate. Of all of them, if one was shy, it was Peter.

James spent the time with Sirius most of that day...well, it would have been hard not to, he thought, almost defensively. He didn't think he'd ever met someone more like himself, even somewhat so in physical appearance, and they'd been fast friends on first sight. Not that Remus had tried to butt in, but perhaps they could have talked to him more. They barely knew anything about him, even after that whole, long train ride.

As the rustlings escalated slightly into a thrashing sound, James resolutely stepped forward and gently pulled the curtains back. Remus was tossing in his bed, eyes moving beneath the lids. A nightmare, then.

Suddenly Remus's eyes sprang open, and James leapt back quietly toward his own bed. His friend lay still for a while, breathing hard, and slowly sat up, leaning against the headboard. As James watched, a trembling hand moved to his right arm, lifting up the sleeve. A round scar lay just below Remus's right elbow, and James held back a gasp as he saw the other scars that littered the arm.

Finally, Remus turned toward the window as well, staring for a while. After a minute, he pulled the covers over himself and curled up on his side, obviously trying to sleep again, not noticing that his curtains were still open. James watched for a while, until he was sure that Remus had fallen asleep, before shaking his head.

What were all those scars? Were they why his friend was so withdrawn all the time? A glance at a hanging clock told him that it was past midnight, and, deciding that he was getting nothing accomplished now, James closed his own curtains and lay flat on his back, trying to stop thinking about everything. As the prefect had told them, it would be a long day tomorrow.