Curse of the Moon

"To err, they say, is human.

"My family and I just knew that I would not be getting into a good school of wizardry, especially one as prestigious as Hogwarts. I knew it, much in the way that the average Muggle-born child simply knows that the world is governed by those principles that can be found in a physics textbook, and that there is no such thing as magic. In both of our cases, they were simple, unchangeable facts.

"But wolves may err, just as a human may. Perhaps, being part of both worlds, I was doubly wrong, then. The result, however, more than made up for my misjudgment."

- Journal of Remus J. Lupin

Chapter 2: Professor Albus Dumbledore

"No!" screamed a frantic voice. "Get away, Remus! Run, now!"

Something burned horribly on his arm as he scrambled to his feet and started to turn back, his mind clouded by terror, pursued by a loud clamor of frightened, angry voices...

The dream faded as rays of sunlight streamed in gently through the window, playing over his face. Escaping from the last vestiges of sleep, Remus opened his eyes and sat up slowly in bed. It was nearly nine o' clock already, but he took his time dressing. While he did so, he kicked something large on the ground and frowned; he didn't usually leave his books laying around.

When he bent to pick it up, he remembered that he'd forgotten to put it back in the excitement of seeing his sister again. He gazed for a few moments at Hogwarts: A History before replacing it carefully on top of his small desk and turning to head down the stairs.

The other Lupins were already sitting at the kitchen table by the time Remus entered. Rona was talking with his parents, their voices soft, even to his ears. The Daily Prophet, lay unnoticed to one side, the bold headlines announcing the unsolved mystery of a well-known wizarding family's disappearance--it looked like the McKinnocs, or something similar that Remus had never heard of.

They stopped at once and looked up when he entered. "Good morning," he greeted them politely, sliding into the chair next to his sister and reaching forward to take a piece of toast from the old, iron plate in the middle of the table. They each murmured something back in return, but otherwise remained silent.

A bit puzzled by how quiet they were all being, Remus played nervously with his breakfast, cleared his throat uncomfortably, and asked, "Um...what will we be studying today? Potions?" They had been rotating the subjects to be able to work on different ones each day but hadn't actually gotten the chance to start Potions work, yet.

He saw his parents stop eating and glance at each other. Then, in an uncharacteristically hesitant voice, his father, fingering his teacup thoughtfully, said, "Actually, Remus...would you mind very much if we didn't work on any subject today? I was wondering if you would like to go on a trip."

Startled, Remus put his toast down. He wasn't obsessed with his studies, but the suggestion caught his attention by dint of its irregularity. "Why?" he asked warily.

His parents looked at each other again, but it was Rona who now spoke. "Remus, an owl came today." She stopped, as if trying to phrase her next words, but he now noticed the two pieces of parchment that she held in her hand.

"A letter?" he wondered aloud. "For me?" He almost never received any post, except from his parents or Rona when they were away. Not that he cared to get any, but to receive anything addressed to him peaked his curiosity.

"Yes, for you...we were just discussing it, but...well, maybe you should read it."

Remus searched each of their faces as his sister held out the letter. Their expressions were all serious, but hid all other emotion. Slightly suspicious now, he took the letter from Rona. The envelope, he noticed, was off to the side somewhere, face down, and he couldn't see what was on it. He opened the folded paper and began to read. As he did so, though, his eyes widened, and he had to remind himself to continue to breathe.

~~~

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Headmaster Albus Dumbledore (Order of Merlin, First Class; Chief Warlock; Grand Sorcerer; Supreme Mugwump)

Dear Mr. R. Lupin,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Enclosed, please find a list of all necessary books and equipment.

The term will begin on September 1, 1970. We await your owl by no later than July 31.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall (Deputy Headmistress)

P.S. Mr. Lupin, please be assured that we are very much aware of your unusual situation and will be able to provide special arrangements for you to ensure the safety of yourself and of your fellow students. If you wish to discuss these arrangements, feel free to come to Hogwarts so that we may speak in person. ~Albus Dumbledore

~~~

Shaking his head slowly in disbelief, Remus pulled the second parchment from under the first and found a detailed list, as the letter promised. He skimmed through, then looked back at the other parchment. No...this is impossible.

He tore his gaze away from the papers and met the eyes of his family. "Is this...what...I mean, I can't..." With an effort, he forced himself to stop babbling and perused the contents of the letter again. Special arrangements...come to Hogwarts so that we my speak in person...

Finally, Remus organized his whirring thoughts and turned his eyes to his father. "This is what you meant by 'a trip,' isn't it? You wanted to go to Hogwarts to talk to Dumbledore." It was not truly a question, but he received a nod in answer, nonetheless.

"I've spoken with him over the fire already this morning. It's your decision. If you want to go talk to the headmaster, I'll bring you there to discuss it with him."

Remus bit his lip. If you want to go... Of course he wanted to go; he'd wanted to ever since he could remember, but he had also spent the past five and a half years convincing himself that it could never happen, and that it would be better if it didn't. "You think...you think it's really possible?" His voice shook slightly and was full of a barely suppressed, desperate longing, but he didn't care at the moment whether his family heard it.

"Professor Dumbledore is a good man," his mother said. "After all that business with Grindelwald, he came back and taught while your father and I were in school--it was Defense Against the Dark Arts, you know, since Minerva McGonagall had taken over Transfiguration by then--and he's just recently become headmaster. Even when he was our professor, he was always one of the fairest teachers; he believes in giving chances. It's your choice, Remus."

His mind went blank, then began racing madly. He would have given anything to have the chance to attend Hogwarts, and now, Albus Dumbledore was giving him the chance to do just that. But, as great a wizard and man as he might be, did the headmaster truly understand the consequences of having a werewolf as a student? What if he slipped; others could easily be hurt, so easily it was frightening to consider. He would not--could not--risk hurting a student and condemning another to lycanthropy.

He tried to weigh the points against each other objectively without letting his desires interfere, though he was finding it increasingly difficult to do so. At length, he took a breath and said, as calmly as he could while fairly quivering--with excitement? anticipation? fear?--"I would like to meet Professor Dumbledore today."

They would just be meeting the man, Remus reasoned. He could always decide afterwards that he wouldn't go to school there.

His father nodded, and Remus had to admire how composed the man always was. "I thought you would. We can leave right after breakfast." He looked meaningfully at his son's still unfinished piece of bread. Remembering that he was still at the kitchen table, Remus hastily put down the letter and the list of books, making sure to put them carefully out of the way, where they would remain unharmed.

After a quick meal, Remus hurried back to his room and found a set of robes. The edges were beginning to fray, and they were about an inch too short, even for his small stature, but they were the best set he owned. He shrugged and changed into them. They would have to do for now.

Before long, he had run from his room and appeared again near the door, where his father was awaiting him. "Your mother and sister will be staying here," he said. Remus agreed, understanding, but at the same time, he wished that Rona, at least, could go with him when he met one of the most respected wizards in the world. While his mother was kind and loving and his father poised and strong, his sister was both, someone who freely offered him both support and affection when each was needed

He banished the idea. He was ten years old, after all, almost eleven even; he couldn't hold his big sister's hand all his life. He nodded once more to his father. "I'm ready."

"I'm going to Apparate you to Hogsmeade," his father told him. "From there we'll walk to the castle; it shouldn't take too long." Apparating another person was more difficult than traveling alone, but they had practiced it before. With a Auror and two qualified teachers in the family, Remus had learned a few years ago how to lend one's own magical energy to the caster while being Apparated, and he trusted his father to do the rest.

He waved goodbye to his mother and sister and grasped his father's arm in his hand, feeling the older man's hand twist around to grip his thin wrist in return.

Remus took several calming breaths and allowed the part of his mind that exerted control over his magic to relax, ever so slightly. Soon, a trickle of raw, unshaped energy was flowing from himself and into his father. The latter physically tightened his hold on his son while mentally gathering up the stream of magical energy to combine with his own as they prepared to Apparate together.

His father raised his wand and made a sharp, flicking motion. Immediately, Remus felt the surroundings shift abruptly. Disoriented from the change in environment and the new smells and sounds that assaulted his already heightened senses, he swayed for a brief instant before steadying himself with natural--or perhaps, unnatural--grace.

He remained where he was for a while, looking around himself in interest. So this was Hogsmeade. He had never been to this village before; in truth, it had been almost three years since he had been to any sort of wizarding community. Three years since...No. Not now.

"Hogwarts is near here," his father said. "It's only a few minutes' walk away." Remus nodded, accepting this information. He already knew it all, of course, from his repeated readings of Hogwarts: A History, but it was nice to hear it, as if the spoken words confirmed what he had already known as fact.

The villagers of Hogsmeade paid no mind to the common sight of two travelers passing through, but Remus continually stared about himself in awe. His father pointed out some of the buildings that they passed.

"The local pub," he said. Remus saw a tidy establishment with a sign that read 'The Three Broomsticks.' "It didn't open until after I left, but Rona tells me it's a nice place. And that building is Zonko's." His hand gestured to a shop, whose windows displayed dungbombs and Filibusters' Fireworks, among other items he didn't recognize. "It's been here since before my time, but the jokes are as good as ever."

As they continued on, his father paused, frowning thoughtfully. "I don't remember that house, the old one over there," he mused. "There aren't any signs around it either..." He shrugged. "Perhaps they've just built it." Remus, considering the house, doubted that. It looked far too old and shabby to be new, unless it was meant to look like that, but he couldn't think of a reason why someone would enchant a place to look worn. He did not ponder the question for long, however, because he soon spotted something in the distance.

"Da," he said excitedly. "I can see it! Is that Hogwarts?" In truth, it was really pointless to ask, as nothing else around this area was as big and as noticeable--to wizards, at least--as the Hogwarts castle.

"Mmm...I can't see it from here," came the answer, as the man squinted into the distance, "but I would suppose so. It couldn't be anything else."

Remus remained silent for the rest of their trek. What if the headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, realized that he'd made a mistake? What if he decided that there was no way a werewolf could attend school with other, normal students?

Before long, the huge, elegant castle could be seen clearly, and he could just make out the white marble steps that would lead to the doors of Hogwarts. There was someone sitting on the steps already, though, and he turned to his father curiously. The man ignored him, however, and narrowed his eyes to see who the person was. Then, he smiled slightly and shook his head, looking only a bit surprised.

Bemused, Remus walked with his father. As they approached the castle, the man on the steps stood up, giving them a clear view of his features. Remus froze, at last recognizing the bright, blue eyes and long, flowing hair and beard to belong to Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Oh Merlin, I've really come to Hogwarts...

Soon, they were only a few meters away, and the man--Dumbledore--greeted them with a kindly smile, his knowing eyes twinkling. "Jonathan Lupin," he said, extending his hand. "I am glad to see you well after all these years. And young Remus, as well. I expected that you would be coming to see me here."

"It's good to see you again, Professor," his father said politely in return, shaking the other man's hand. "Congratulations on becoming Headmaster, two years ago. I can think of no one more worthy of the position than you."

Dumbledore waved away the praise. "I am simply continuing the excellent administration that Headmaster Dippet has already established. Any man could do as well, Jonathan."

The dubious look on his father's face told Remus that Jonathan Lupin clearly thought otherwise, but they dropped the subject as the headmaster went on. "But I believe that we are here to discuss a potential student for the next term."

Dumbledore turned to look down at Remus, making the boy need to fight the impulse to squirm. Warm though they were, he had the uncanny feeling that those blue eyes saw everything about him. "Remus...Lupin." Dumbledore paused slightly in saying this, as if suddenly realizing something. For the umpteenth time since Remus had gotten the bite, he appreciated the coincidental irony in his name. The other man, however, continued, completely unperturbed. "I gather that the letter you received today was something of a surprise?"

"Y-yes, sir," he said truthfully, stammering a bit. "I wasn't expecting to be accepted."

"I understand, Mr. Lupin," the old man answered seriously. "However...I do not see why your condition should prevent you from receiving your proper schooling. Not," he added diplomatically, "that I doubt in any way that your parents would have done a fine job tutoring you."

His father shook his head modestly. "The professors here are much more experienced than my wife and I are. And there are some things that a parent cannot teach, Professor Dumbledore."

The professor nodded gravely. "Your father is correct, young Lupin. While I could easily list many reasons for your attending school here, I can think of none to deny you an education at Hogwarts."

Remus fought incredulity. No reasons for him not to come? He chose the next words carefully. "Professor Dumbledore, I truly...appreciate your kindness. But, because of my...my lycanthropy, I wouldn't feel right if... It would feel wrong for me to come here. I would be a risk to every student in attendance."

The headmaster said nothing, waiting for him to continue, so he went on. "I'm sure that your decision to accept me is already...controversial." It must have been, for no school they had seen would ever allow a werewolf to grace its halls. Even Armando Dippet had refused their request years ago. And now, for Dumbledore to do such a thing... He looked away to stare at the grass near his feet. "If anything ever happened, your reputation, as a wizard and as a professor, would be...well, ruined. And it would prove to the world that...that werewolves...should not receive the education that others can."

There was a moment of silence before--"Remus." The voice was gentle, but commanding at the same time. Reluctantly, he brought his eyes back up to look at the headmaster. The shining blue eyes were thoughtful. "I see you have thought about this before." Everyday for the past months...the past years, Remus thought, but he said nothing. "And while a mistake could confirm the general population's unjust suspicions, your success will show those who harbor such superstitions that anyone, even a werewolf, is worthy of a full education. Never believe, Remus, that you are any less than other wizards or witches. You are far from it."

"But--" he began, only to be cut off.

"I understand, as well as I may without experiencing them, the severity of the transformations. But I also know that you are a wolf only one day out of every month. For approximately three hundred and fifty-three days of the year, you are a human child, like any other."

Not like any other, Remus wanted to protest. The wolf only takes me completely twelve or thirteen days in a year, but for the rest of the days, it is still there. Always lingering, held down only by the control of a ten-year-old boy.

"You, of all people," Dumbledore continued, "deserve a place here. You are an exceptionally intelligent boy, Remus, and you have more than enough talent to take you place among your peers." The headmaster gave a small smile the skeptical look sent his way. "How did you arrive at Hogsmeade?"

Remus glanced briefly up at his father and answered, "We Apparated. Er...well, my father Apparated me, I guess."

"And how did he do this?" the headmaster prompted. "You had to do something, did you not?"

Somewhat confused by this, he answered, "I...I suppose. I had to let him use my magic, as well as his, to cast the spell." Apparition required moving one's magical, as well as physical, component, which was why it was impossible on Hogwarts grounds, according to what he had read.

Dumbledore's smile grew wide. "Precisely, Mr. Lupin." His voice retained its friendly quality, but became more...professional, as if he were teaching. "All wizards and witches hold a certain amount of magical potential within themselves. From childhood, they instinctively withhold their power; otherwise, the Magic Reversal Squad would be driven crazy from endless bursts of wild, uncontrolled magic, especially coming from Muggleborn children. Nevertheless, this power sometimes escapes in times of stress or emotional surges, which is why children, until they learn to control it fully, occasionally perform what we call accidental magic.

"What you did, in letting your father use your magic, was not 'accidental.' That you were able to lend your strength thus could shows control beyond what is expected in one of your years and experience. I believe that you have also shown some not inconsiderable signs of potential, as well?"

In times of stress and emotional surges... Remus had done quite a lot of accidental magic, especially in the first couple of years after receiving the bite.

"My point, Mr. Lupin, is that you are fully qualified to be a student here. Beyond that, you need something that your parents and sister, as supportive as they may be, cannot give you. Although you may believe otherwise, you need to interact with others your age. Everyone needs friends, no matter how strong the person may be. And while I do not, in any way, doubt your strength, I think I will not be mistaken in saying that you have few peers with whom you can talk." Without waiting for an answer, Dumbledore asked, completely solemnly, "Do you want to come to Hogwarts, Mr. Lupin?"

Without hesitation, Remus answered in a voice that was soft yet firm. "Yes. Yes, I do."

Dumbledore beamed at him. "Then come you will. Before you protest any more," he said quickly, as Remus seemed about to do so, though his arguments were becoming weaker, "I want to show you the 'arrangements' I spoke of in your letter. If you will follow me, please?"

Remus's father gave him an encouraging nod, and he trailed behind the headmaster as the latter made his way across the grounds. "Have you ever heard of a Whomping Willow?" Dumbledore asked as they walked. Remus answered in the negative.

"It's a certain type of tree that...well, this is the one that our Herbology professor has found for us." Following the headmaster's gesturing arm, he saw what looked like an ordinary willow tree.

"This one is particularly vicious," the old man said casually, and Remus's eyebrows raised in question. Vicious? How could a tree...? He received his answer when they approached to a distance of about a meter from the limbs.

Immediately, the branches began to thrash wildly, causing Remus to take several steps back in surprise. The limbs, which had seemed innocuous at first, now looked like dangerous flails more than anything else. It would be almost impossible to get past those branches.

Did Dumbledore expect him to transform under the Whomping Willow? His father was looking uneasy about it, as well. Surely not...

But he needn't have worried. Dumbledore picked up a long stick from the ground and walked around to the back of the tree. As Remus watched, the man reached past the enraged branches with the stick and pressed a particular knot on the trunk. Suddenly, the branches stopped moving at all, the leaves not even moving in the light breeze, and a space appeared beneath the roots. With a smile at his future student, Dumbledore walked into the space, and Remus, after the initial shock had worn off, followed suit. His father chose to stay outside to wait for them.

It was a tunnel, Remus realized, following the headmaster, who did not turn around as he said, "Every month, in the evening before the full moon, someone, usually either your head of house or the school nurse, will bring you out here. Most of the staff know about your lycanthropy, so there should be no problems there. After a few months, if you are comfortable with the routine, you may come alone, if you are careful not to be seen. Push the knot on the back of the tree to freeze the branches, and this tunnel will lead to where somewhere safe where you can transform."

"Er...Professor?" he asked tentatively. "Where exactly does this tunnel lead?" It was rather longer than he'd expected and the end was still not in sight.

"Ah...this, Mr. Lupin, leads into Hogsmeade." Remus stopped moving. Hogsmeade? Dumbledore wanted him to leave the school each month and become a werewolf in a village full of people? He hurried to catch up as the older wizard went on. "Not in the middle of the village, of course. You may have noticed, as you were coming here, that there is an old house there. It was built recently and charmed to look as if it were ancient. We hope that the appearance will keep most people away. There are spells around it, just in case, so that no one may enter, except through this tunnel."

Ah. So I suppose someone would want to enchant a place to look old. Da was right.

They soon reached the end of the tunnel and opened a trapdoor into a room. Chewing his lip as he looked around, Remus asked, "Professor, are you sure...I mean, is it really safe in here?" The walls looked as unstable from within as they had from the outside.

"Rest assured, Mr. Lupin," Dumbledore answered. "There are charms everywhere in here that prevent escape from the house. Again, the appearances are part of our plan. No villagers are likely to come in here, since I will personally concoct a story to keep them away." His eyes twinkled again, and Remus suddenly realized how elaborate this all was. All of this had been done just so that he could come here...

He surveyed the small house for a moment more, before turning to the headmaster. "Thank you," he said sincerely, feeling overwhelmed still. "I never thought...but...Thank you."

With a understanding smile, Dumbledore patted his shoulder and said, "Not at all, Mr. Lupin. I think you will do very well here. And now, I believe your father is still waiting for us. Please do not forget to respond to the acceptance letter within ten days, so that your attendance here will be official."

As Remus followed Albus Dumbledore out into the tunnel, he couldn't suppress the grin that spread across his face. The unattainable dream that he'd harbored for years had finally been realized.

Hogwarts.