Quest for the Horcruxes

CHAPTER 1

HARRY'S POV

A sixteen-year-old Harry woke up to the deafening shouts of Uncle Vernon.

"Get down here boy!" Harry got out of bed with a start, remembering that today the Dursleys were going on vacation to Tahiti. Harry smiled at the first thought of Dudley wearing a coconut bra, but he quickly had to stifle his nausea. He threw on his latest Christmas jumper he had received from Mrs. Weasley (the dementors still kept the temperature quite low) and his jeans.

"Coming, you fat cow..." said Harry, adding the last part in a whisper.

Harry got no farther than the hallway when a now seventeen-year-old Dudley ran right through him, anxious to see his last home breakfast for the rest of the summer. Harry picked himself up, again stifling his nausea as he remembered his Tahitian vision of Dudley. He got to the kitchen, where Dudley had already started wolfing down his daily box of Captain Crunch.

"So boy," roared Uncle Vernon, "your...acquaintances are coming to get you?" Harry was going to stay at the Burrow (where else?) while the Dursleys were gone, which he didn't regret the slightest bit. He positively couldn't wait.

"Yes, they should be arriving at five, when Mr. Weasley gets off work," answered Harry obediently. Vernon didn't seem happy about this.

"Five? o'clock?" he said.

"Yes, five o'clock," said Harry.

"That's too bad; you are going to have to sit outside for 10 hours, we are leaving at 7:00 for our flight. I am not about to leave you in MY house alone for a second, let alone you and that drabble," he roared. Harry just noticed why he was so tired; it was only six am.

"Fine then, but you'll have to give me my stuff," finished Harry.

Harry kept himself busy by reminding Dudley that in two weeks time, Harry would come of age and he could use magic, and that he would have to come back and stay with the Dursleys for a small amount of time (as small as he could manage) for his mother's sacrificial magic to continue working.

"Maybe I should brush up on Adhaero Palpebra... sticking your eyelids together would be fun..." said Harry slyly, as his cousin wobbled with fright. "Maybe I should turn your fingers into salami, that way the ten-year-olds you attack would have a chance while you are distracted with the new food."

Dudley shut up for a good half hour, and by ten to seven, Vernon was shouting to Petunia to get ready or they would be late. He was trying to force his fat body into a pair of pants which refused entry. Vernon screamed bloody murder and ran through the bedroom wall. Petunia stuck her head out of the bathroom door and said that she would call the men to come fix the wall after they came back. This happened many times recently, as Vernon was getting quite large from the stress of Grunnings undergoing major layoffs, and he kept saying that he would be next.

Harry was glad he decided to return to Hogwarts for his last year of studying before he set out for the Horcruxes. He was even more glad to be able to see his friends a last time before he set out to kill/be killed by Voldemort. Damn that lunatic, he was ruining everyone's day, what with the rampaging, and the death, and the pain... stupid idiot.

Harry sat down on the end of the driveway for number four, Privet Drive and waited. A still no-panted Uncle Vernon foaming at the mouth, screamed in a random language that sounded slightly oriental as he ran through the front door, knocking it off its hinges and onto the driveway. Vernon then proceeded in picking up Dudley by the scruff of his neck and throwing him bodily into the minivan, and Petunia sat in the passenger seat looking flustered. Vernon threw his pants in the car, and drove off still muttering in something Harry recognized as pretty fluent Japanese, and he then took a bit out of the dashboard.

Harry checked his watch (which he repaired with Reparo after the second task of the Triwizard tournament). It said 7:08. "This is going to be a long day," thought Harry.

Harry spent the rest of the day walking around and re-reading the spell books he had with him. When five o'clock finally came, Harry stood in front of the Dursley's house, waiting for the Weasleys to arrive in the afore-mentioned Knight Bus. Harry pulled out the letter Ron had sent him.

Harry,

My dad said its okay if you come stay with us! I can't wait to see you! Percy still isn't talking to us, Bill is having his wedding on August first, so you'll be here, Charlie got into an.....accident with one of the dragons...let's just say that dragon made Charlie his bitch. Charlie has permanent hemorrhoidal problems now, what with the bleeding and such. Fred and George have paid to renovate the Burrow! A team came in yesterday and removed our ghoul. Ginny was quite sad to see him leave Oh yeah, Ginny wants me to tell you that she misses you and loves you forever, even if you can't see each other because of this Dark Lord problem and she says she wants in you pants and she would like a threesome involving you, her and Neville. OK, I made up the last part but she still wants in your pants. Anyways, dad said he will be by to pick you up July 17^th at 5:00 pm on the Knight Bus.

Bye, Ron (from Ron, not bye, Ron) (right) (ok)

Harry checked his watch. 5:01. Damnit, Mr. Weasley is late.

On cue, thought Harry, as the violently purple bus swerved through. Harry noticed that for some reason the magic must have not worked, because one of Mrs. Figg's cats was now relaxing flat under one of the bus tires. Harry saw Mr. Weasley's flaming (slightly balding) red head come into view.

"Hello there Harry, come on up here."

Harry watched as number four, Privet Drive wound out of sight (quite rapidly) and the bus had to knock and old lady with a walker to safety down a manhole.