Book of Memories

Chapter 25: RESILIENCE

"I also have another surprise for yourself, Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger," said Dumbledore. "This is not something that I would like to share with the school so please be in front of my office the day before the Leaving Feast just after dinner.

"As for now, lunch begins in a few minutes. You may leave whenever you like. Please be aware, though, that many students are still shaken up by Pettigrew's death and the theft of the book.

"I must be going. I shall see you at lunch?"

"Okay," said Harry. "Good-bye."

And Dumbledore was gone.

Sirius stood up. Harry ran a hand through his hair, letting everything he just heard since he first woke up and spoke to Ron sink in. It was quite a bit. Some of it was nice but most of it wasn't, especially knowing that Voldemort was probably walking already.

"So what's going to happen with Voldemort?" asked Harry staring into space, his hands in his lap, slouching.

"I think you should wait to worry about that until after the summer's over," said Sirius, looking at Harry, who didn't look back. "He can't get to you while you're at the Dursleys."

"I'm going to have to stay with them again, aren't I?" Harry asked tonelessly.

Sirius nodded and said, "Maybe they'll be a little bit nicer this time?"

"Yeah, maybe. They weren't so bad when you were there. Can you stay again this summer?"

"Don't know. I'll have to ask Albus. I hope so."

"I hope so, too," said Harry, not really believing it. "And is my Aunt really a witch? We got our book lists over the summer and one of them was written by a Petunia Dursley..."

"Nope," said Sirius at once. "She would have a fit if she was. There's just another Petunia Dursley somewhere who is a witch. In any case, you better go see your friends. They're probably dying to hear more."

"Don't use the 'd' word," said Harry sharply and now looking at Sirius. "It's bad enough it almost happened again..."

Sensing danger, Sirius said quickly, "Come on now, Ron, Hermione and Cho are waiting! Got yourself a girlfriend, have you?" he added, forcing his face into a grin.

Harry's ears went pink and he quickly stood up. He couldn't deny it, it was true but the thought still sounded strange to him.

"Maybe you can have her over during summer vacation?" Sirius suggested.

"Are you crazy? Do you have any idea what my aunt and uncle would say?" said Harry incredulously... but then another idea came to him. "It might not be so bad," he thought aloud, rubbing his chin. "Yeah, I'd like that! But I would have to convince them and that won't be easy..."

"I'm sure you'll think of something. Come on now," he said, patting Harry on the shoulder again, "you haven't eaten for a few days."

Sirius and Harry left the hospital wing together. Sirius guessed -- correctly -- that Harry wanted his arm around him. It was comforting and the experience with Thantanos was still unnerving. What else was he going to find out about himself? Could he really fight off the Cruciatus Curse? He could fight off the Imperius Curse but, Crucio...

Harry took the staff with him and showed it to Ron, Hermione and Cho. They didn't believe at first, even when Sirius said so, that Dumbledore was letting Harry keep it. They followed him up to his dormitory and he left it there and they still didn't believe him. It took Dumbledore to say so at lunch that afternoon. When he told Ron and Hermione in private about Dumbledore wanting to meet them, they already knew.

Harry was always reminded that Voldemort was walking again. No one seemed to know, over the next few days, where Voldemort could be. A small smile was brought to Harry's face when he found out that several professors had requested permission for Harry to bring the staff to their class. Among them, Professor Flitwick, Professor Trelawney and Professor McGonagall. Dumbledore flat out refused but one day in Paladism, curiosity must have gotten the better of Dumbledore and he asked Harry to get it with a Summoning Charm.

At one point, Malfoy swiped the staff from Harry's desk.

"Tell him to put me down!" said the familiar, soft voice in Harry's head. He still found it very strange that the staff could speak to him.

"Malfoy," said Harry at once, fearing what it might do, "put the staff down."

"Why, Potter?" sneered Malfoy, obviously not caring at all about the serious look on Harry's face.

"Who is this idiot?" asked the voice.

Harry tried hard to force down a laugh seeing that the staff didn't like Malfoy either. It must be able to recognize bad blood, Harry thought.

"The staff can talk to me," said Harry.

"It can talk to you?" said Malfoy flatly. He obviously thought Harry had finally lost it. The lion's mouth growled menacingly. "Cheap tricks," said Malfoy.

The next second, Malfoy was screaming earsplittingly loud after the crystal glowed golden for a split second. The Staff of Cybele had casted the Cruciatus Curse. Harry jerked it out of Malfoy's grip, relieving him (against his better judgement; he silently felt he should have let someone else do it).

Gryffindors were able to hold the staff without effect but every Slytherin that merely touched it had bad experiences. Pansy Parkinson got a case of slug-belching. Dumbledore forbade anyone to attempt a spell with it except Harry.

To Harry's relief, the last page of Harry Potter: Lucky or Legendary was read in Defense Against the Dark Arts at the end of March. The very next class, however, nobody seemed to be in the room, not even Ron or Hermione.

"Hello?" called Harry. The bell rang five minutes ago. It was creepy.

He took his usual seat and waited. Maybe Professor Delacour had canceled class? And he hadn't gotten word? But someone would have told him. Ron or Hermione would have said something!

He pulled out his wand -- something just didn't seem right. Harry craned his head all around the empty room, surveying the the stone walls but there was nothing but himself and the desks to be seen. It creeped him out. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up. Someone was watching him. That was it. By now, he knew well what that feeling meant.

"Someone's there," he said. "Come on, where are you?"

He continued to look around the room. It still looked quite empty and the feeling continued to creep him out.

"Accio staff," he muttered so that the person couldn't hear him. If someone was after him, he wasn't going to make it easy. The Staff of Cybele came flying through the classroom door, purring softly, and it flew right into his hand. Someone swore. Harry distinctly heard someone's voice.

"Accio invisibility cloak," he muttered. What was up, was quickly unveiled.

To Harry's horror, the entire class of Defense Against the Dark Arts was huddled in a corner of the room under the Invisibility Cloak, which was engorged to a tremendous size. Harry was quite angry that someone saw fit to "borrow" his cloak (Hermione later told him it wasn't his and that Professor Delacour had found another one).

"Ah!" said Professor Delacour breaking the unsettling silence. "So you can!"

"Can what," said Harry, staring at her not unlike how Professor McGonagall usually does it.

"Can tell if someone is watching you," she replied. "One of your powers. This is a rare gift."

"And you had to hide everyone to find out?" said Harry angrily.

Professor Delacour's ears went pink. It wasn't the best of ideas, she admitted but Harry had to admit that it worked beautifully.

And so it was a rare gift. The class continued about rare gifts wizards have been bestowed with. Harry's uncanny ability to know if someone was watching him was on a wizard in the early second century by the name of Seeus Acerbu. No one since then, Professor Delacour told the class, has been known to have this ability. Harry wasn't at all pleased to learn that Acerbu was a Dark wizard.

He took comfort in the fact that he kept -- needlessly -- repeating to himself that he wasn't going to be a Dark wizard. More and more evidence kept popping up that it was his destiny... but the centaurs in the forbidden forest had once read from the planets that he was going to die, and he hadn't... No, Harry was sure it was just all stuff to test him and he was going to pass with flying colors.

He kept to himself ever since that day, only taking the spotlight when he had to during Quidditch games, which had been reestablished ever since danger passed. Everyone thought they didn't really need to actually play the games. Gryffindor had been beating everyone so badly there was just no point. At least Harry no longer thought of a particular someone when hearing a particular someone else's name.

But he wasn't sure of himself. He still shaky on what he was... who ("or what", said a nasty voice in his head) he was going to grow up to be... But why? There was no reason in particular... there was just something that wasn't right.. there was something he wanted and still didn't have and he couldn't pinpoint it... The experience with Thantanos didn't match the experience with Voldemort two years ago nor did it match going unconscious and living in a forest for a week but it had the effect that Voldemort would have wanted: Harry feared what was to come, what Voldemort would be capable of. A particularly nasty feeling was that he would soon find out why Voldemort had made such a name for himself. All of it made his head hurt. He tried not to think about it.

The day before the Leaving Feast came and everyone found out, except one poor first year who was nearly a Squib, born into a wizarding family with no magical ability, that they passed and would be advancing to their next year at Hogwarts. Harry, Ron and Hermione ate slowly so they could extend their stay and not look suspicious that they were staying for the entire time. This spawned many questions from Ginny, who, to Harry's dismay, had been giving Harry even more bad looks ("She's just mad you're with Cho," Ron told Harry comfortingly).

So after dinner ended, Harry caught Dumbledore's eye and he nodded. Harry, Ron and Hermione left first and they arrived at the gargoyle on the way to Dumbledore's office.

"What d'you think..." started Ron. Neither of them knew what Dumbledore wanted. It was just as much of a mystery to Harry as it was to Ron and Hermione.

"He made it sound like it's something really important," said Harry. He didn't really believe it but he hoped it was because. That way, Ron, who always felt shoved to the side in Harry's fame, would have something...

Hermione tapped Harry and Ron on the shoulder. "Here he comes," she said.

"Ah," said Dumbledore, strolling nonchalantly down the corridor. "The others are already inside."

"The others?" said Harry and Hermione simultaneously.

Dumbledore walked up to the stone gargoyle and said, "Flamel," to it. It sprang to life and jumped aside, the wall behind it splitting in two.

All four of them stepped on the staircase which rose upwards like an escalator, higher and higher, stopping before the oak door which led into Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore knocked once and someone opened it. Arabella Figg was standing behind it. Harry felt an sudden sense of awkwardness. He always thought Mrs. Figg was a nice, if rather stinky, old lady until lady until he found out that she was a witch.

He also immediately recognized Remus Lupin, who was professor for Defense Against the Dark Arts for one year. Professor Snape was standing in one corner, avoiding Harry's eyes completely. There was another old wizard, dressed in robes of bright orange, wearing a strange looking top hat and carrying a large stick.

"Mundungus Fletcher," said the old wizard, noticing Harry was staring at him. "Heard about your exploits, very pleased to meet you," he added, bowing and tipping his hat to Harry.

"Hello," said Harry. Harry thought Mr. Fletcher, who seemed to ignore Ron and Hermione, very odd but he didn't voice this. He was more keen on running over to Sirius who was sitting in Dumbledore's chair.

"Good to see you three," said Lupin. He happily shook Harry's, Ron's and Hermione's hands.

"So you'd probably like to know why you're here," said Dumbledore in a much more serious tone. "I believe you've heard of it once but you must discount that as you were being lied to by one Michelle Brev. I will explain it properly.

"After many failed attempts at Aurors catching Lord Voldemort, a group of highly dedicated wizards, completely fed up, formed the Order of the Phoenix. Aside from Sirius, everyone you see here was part of this group and yes, even Fawkes."

At this, Fawkes fluttered off his perch on the door and landed on Dumbledore's shoulder, pressing his warm, scarlet feathers up against Dumbledore's cheek.

"As a safety precaution, all of us have wands with a tail feather from Fawkes at it's core. If you rememeber, two wands of the same core forced to fight against each other will refuse and invoke the rare Priori Incantatem effect."

Harry remembered this all too well. This effect causes one of two wands to execute all the spells it casted in reverse order. Harry had seen his parents as shadows of their former selves, the thought of which made him force back a show of emotion...

"You'll also remember that Fawkes had dropped another tail feather once last year, and now, that makes two," said Dumbledore suggestively. "There are difficult times ahead of us. Hagrid has done as asked, asking the giants roaming England with Madam Maxime and the giants will not join Lord Voldemort. However, the dementors... Cornelius refused to remove them from Azkaban.

"Lord Voldemort is rumored to be somewhere in the country and word has already spread of his famous killings. Just this evening the Daily Prophet had an article on thirty Muggles dying just south of Surrey in a shopping center.

"My other fear is that he will not repeat the same mistake he had made at the end of last year and attempt to take Harry from us by magical means. You may repel magic, Harry," said Dumbledore gravely to Harry, "but you do not repel Muggle means. This is why we believe, in light of recent actions, that you, Miss Granger, and you, Mr. Weasley should take these tail feathers. New wands will be tailored to you and shall each be sent a new one over the summer. Mr. Ollivander will require your old wands in the mean time. We will be hard pressed to stop Lord Voldemort from gaining the power he had fifteen years ago but we are going to try.

"Harry, you will take the Staff of Cybele to the Dursleys with you. Mrs. Figg, who has some knowledge with staves, will attempt to show you how to better use it. As a result, the Ministry of Magic has agreed to lift the Decree for the Restriction of Underage Wizardy on the three of you on the condition that magic is used only when utterly necessary.

"We will try our very best to keep another confrontation between yourself and Lord Voldemort from happening but if it does, and I fear it will, the Staff of Cybele is your best weapon, our best weapon. I, personally, will be doing as much research on it as possible to find out what it is capable of but I am already sure it is capable of great things."

It took a second for that to sink in. Harry suddenly felt singled out, like everyone was watching him. He wanted to grab the Order of Merlin plaque that was dangling from his neck but Dumbledore's words to him stopped his hand. Out of all people, Dumbledore was asking him, Harry, to prepare for the very worst... will it ever be over? Will the staff be the thing to end it? Harry hoped against hope that it was close...

Next, Dumbledore seemed to read Harry's mind. He turned to Professor Snape. "This time," said Dumbledore. "Return quickly if anything should go wrong." Snape merely nodded and left. He had done that once before and it was still as confusing to Harry as it was last time.

"Harry, I'm very sorry but Sirius must stay with Remus for an undetermined amount of time. Arabella, you'll be taking up Potions?" She nodded. And so that was it. Snape was leaving and Mrs. Figg was taking his position as Potions master. "I will be repeating the information on Lord Voldemort tomorrow evening at the Leaving Feast and now that I have spoken myself thin," said Dumbledore, clearing his throat, "I believe we are finished. You must not tell anyone else about the Order of the Phoenix as it is running under the utmost of secrecy and must stay that way to be at all effective."

It wasn't at all the grandeur ceremony Harry had in his head before they entered Dumbledore's office... But as he lay in bed that night in his four-poster, he concluded that all of it was going to be over very soon. Just how though, he had to ask, does one kill someone who has almost achieved immortality? It made him feel sick. How was he supposed to stop Voldemort with just a seven foot long staff that makes voices in his head? Perhaps what stopped him from going to sleep for several long hours was knowing that Voldemort was, without a doubt, going to find a way to kill Harry, and nothing anyone could do was going to stop him.

Yeah, Harry told himself, you're dead. Just enjoy the last of your days. Maybe if he waved the Staff of Cybele threateningly at Uncle Vernon with a note from Dumbledore saying the Decree for the Restriction of Underage Wizardy has been lifted for him, he could convince Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon to let Cho stay for a day. He felt like he was eleven again, like he was blowing everything out of proportion, when he was new to being a wizard. The amazement, the wonder, the joy...

But suddenly he thought, yes, that was it, he was just making it sound worse than it was really going to be. Dumbledore was who everyone said was the best wizard, not Voldemort. What was Harry thinking! As he rolled over on his other side, all he wanted was to go to sleep. Nevermind what Dumbledore said, he was going to grab the Order of Merlin plaque just once more, just to fall asleep. And as it rested between his fingers, all his troubling thoughts were taken away like Hedwig to the skies.

"Now go to sleep already, Harry," said a soft, familiar voice in the back of his head. "You're making me worry, too."

"Thanks," said Harry in his head back to the staff, full of sarcasm. "Way to make me feel better."

"Don't mention it," said the staff.

Harry put the necklace back on his bedside table.

"A little help here?" he then asked his staff.

"Sure," it replied. "Trouble sleeping?"

Harry, feeling very strange at having just spoken to the staff again, grabbed the staff, pointed it at himself and was magically put fast asleep the next second. The staff dropped out of his hand and rolled onto the floor.

At the Leaving Feast the next day, Dumbledore had indeed repeated all the information he told Harry, Ron and Hermione about Voldemort. A wave of fear, whispers of Harry's name and whispers of the Staff of Cybele permeated through the Great Hall. Dumbledore let everyone talk themself silent and continued.

"For once, the Ministry is not against my words. There are dark times ahead of us but I believe it is no help to not say what it is to come if what is to come can cause fear. No doubt most, if not all of you, young as you are, do not know how Lord Voldemort gripped us but he will be stopped again, I assure you."

Harry didn't pay much attention to the rest of Dumbledore's speech. His mind was up in his dormitory with the Staff of Cybele. He had a new object that he could hold onto to feel comfort. The thought was not appealing to him. At least that was magical, the necklace was not. What was appealing to him was to hear that he and Ron had earned Gryffindor three hundred points each, securing the House Cup for Gryffindor for the sixth year in a row. Ron felt Harry deserved more, however, because Harry had felt the painful end of another Cruciatus.

That night, Harry, Neville, Ron, Seamus and Dean packed their trunks in utter silence. None of them had much to say except steal glances at the staff, Harry included. Hermione gave him a bag to carry it in once they exited platform nine and three-quarters. Harry didn't want to put it in his trunk. For one, it wouldn't fit and secondly, the fact that everyone continually stared at it made him feel a little better. Maybe if he looked powerful, he might start to think he stood any bit of a chance alone against Voldemort.

On the Hogwarts Express back to King's Cross, a whole lot of time was spent simply staring at the gorgeous Staff of Cybele, the fur swaying from the wind, which came in from the purposely open window, and the tail wagging merrily as Harry held it.

"Hey, staff," said Harry in his head, "you got a name? Can you speak to everyone else?"

Harry was getting bored and nobody was saying much. Everyone seemed to have the same thing on their mind: Voldemort. Day was becoming night... They were close to King's Cross by now...

"Yes," the staff affirmed but this time the voice wasn't in Harry's head and this time it sounded the complete opposite of soft: deep and savage but still kind. The crystal had disappeared from the lion's mouth, which was moving as it spoke. "And I've got a name."

Hermione, Ron and Ginny gave a start. Ron stood up so suddely, his owl, Pigwidgeon, fell out of his lap. Everyone was staring, horrorstruck, as the tiny mouth moved. It didn't phase Harry though, he had seen enough strange things to last him a lifetime.

"Holy crap!" chorused Ginny and Hermione together.

"Holy crap?" said the staff. "Where? I haven't eaten in ages!"

"So it can talk!" said Harry.

"Yeah, I can talk. A woman named Cybele created me," it said. "That's the last I know. My memory was destroyed since but I do remember that she named me Raides. For the phonetically challenged, that's 'raid' and 's,' accent on the raid." It's mouth curled into a twisted grin.

"Wow," said Harry. "I'm going to have fun with you, Raides."

"As I with you, young ancient."

Harry blinked. He suddenly felt safer holding the Staff of Cybele. Ron, Hermione and Ginny were all goggling at it.

This was going to be an interesting summer vacation.