Book of Memories

Chapter 4: ONE LAST GIFT

With a sad face the next morning, Harry finished packing his trunk, stuffed Hedwig in her cage and removed all his belongings from all over the floor around his bed. He pulled the Order of Merlin necklace out of his trunk and stuffed it inside a pocket. The Hogwarts Express was leaving in ten minutes but Snape saw fit to pull Harry aside in the entrance hall as he was leaving.

"Before you go, Potter -" he began, but,

"What d'you want?" said Harry angrily.

"Madam Pomfrey and Albus wish to tell you something," said Snape as if Harry never spoke.

"What is it?" he asked a little more politely.

"Just go," said Snape pointing inside the Great Hall.

Harry shot Snape one last nasty look and stepped inside but as soon as he did, his mouth fell open: Sirius was standing next to both Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey.

Harry's nasty look reserved for Snape immediately became a smile and he broke into a run towards Sirius, his hands instinctively dropping the bags he was carrying by the door. There was nothing better to see right now, Harry thought, than the face he recognized from his photo album, flush with color and smiling.

"You're awake!" was the only thing he could think to say. Madam Pomfrey held up a small vial with a purplish, oozing liquid inside it but Harry only caught a glimpse of it because he ran straight at Sirius, wrapping his arms around him.

"Soul-Saver Potion," said Madam Pomfrey -- Sirius was preoccupied with Harry squeezing him. "Severus and I have been reading up on it ever since Albus suggested it."

"The formula is in a new revision of Moste Potente Potions," said Dumbledore winking at Harry. He, Ron and Hermione had swiped a copy of Moste Potente Potions in their second year to create a Polyjuice Potion. It was obvious from the look on Dumbledore's face that he had since found out.

"I have to take it in the morning," said Sirius. "Lasts an entire day which is very good and there's more good news." Harry finally let go. "Albus thought I should spend summer vacation with you."

Harry looked at Dumbledore who simply winked. "Where are we staying?" asked Harry.

"The bad news is that I need watching over so I can't stay alone. We have to go back to your aunt and uncle's." Harry groaned then suddenly smiled.

"They won't be too happy," he chuckled.

"They'll have to get used to it. They've already been explained the situation and agreed to it. The potion stays good for an entire year so I'm taking a big batch Severus left. And yes, I was on Muggle news so they no longer think I'm a murderer," he added.

"You'll see how they usually treat me the minute we get there," said Harry at once. "I hate them."

"If all goes well, the potion will eventually connect me with the rest of myself (believe me that sounds just as strange to you as it does to me) and I'll immediately start looking for a house." Harry grinned from ear to ear. "Come on," said Sirius, patting Harry on the back, "get your things. The train's leaving soon."

Harry deliberately took a compartment next to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle, knowing they would be cringing with Sirius next door. Sirius had not known anything about Voldemort's appearance so Harry, Ron and Hermione spent the entire time explaining everything. When they got to the part about Harry's supposed death, Sirius let out a yell so loud that Malfoy jumped and broke something.

"And look what I got last night at the Leaving Feast," said Harry, getting out the Order of Merlin necklace from his pocket.

"That was inevitable," said Sirius, smiling at it. Harry just sat there, gawking at it. The shock in his eyes returned and he stared blankly, mouth half open. "Go on," Sirius added, "wear it."

"I-" began Harry but he was choking over the words. "You- can't... they really did, didn't they?"

Harry was holding the necklace up in front of his face with both hands. Hermione got up from her seat and took it from his hands and placed it over his head. The chain was just long enough to place the plaque right over his heart. It took a minute to remember that he had actually gotten an Order of Merlin, First Class... and that he was wearing the necklace... and that it actually said First Class... and that his name, his very own name was written on it (it had a nice ring to it, "Harry James Potter" he thought to himself)... and that it wasn't a trick or a dream and that...

Harry's hands were still in front of him until Hermione slapped him.

"Thanks," he said finally, shaking his head. "Needed that."

"I expect he'll be doing more of that," whispered Hermione to Sirius. She didn't intend for Harry to hear, but he did... but he didn't bother replying, either -- it would probably be true.

The conversation about recent events didn't last that long and eventually Harry started to feel sleepy. He opened the window, a cool breeze blowing in his face. Harry rested his head on a pillow up against the wall of the train... His eyes would no longer stay open...

"Death become that boy when I come across him," said the cold voice of Voldemort.

"M-master, he has lived twice now!" cried the quivering voice of Wormtail. Neither of them were visible and in fact nothing was visible through the blackness of their surroundings.

"I know," said Voldemort loudly, "and I don't need your patheticness to remind me..."

"H-how then can we revive you?" A mass of Death Eaters came into view. "The boy will have g-great protection, s-surely we can't simply-"

"Silence."

A bright streak of light shined down as a few dark figures overhead moved -- they were tree branches. Voldemort, Wormtail and several Death Eaters were standing (in Voldemort's case, he must have been the thing inside a bundle of robes on the ground) deep in a forest. Wormtail looked scared, very scared... almost too scared in his spot. His legs were visibly shaking and every word he spoke was pitched higher and higher.

Voldemort merely shook his head in disgust.

"W-what, m-master?" Wormtail crawled along the muddy ground to a heap of cloth and robes.

"Please get away from me as there is enough filth from the ground without you near."

There was a long pause in which Wormtail could be heard quivering on the ground. He kissed the bundle of robes on the ground. Voldemort's state was what it had been fourteen years ago. Harry recognized the same bundle of robes he had seen some horrific travesty of a human baby in two years ago. He had no body then and needed constant watch. His followers this time, however, looked to be right at his side. Voldemort would grow to power far faster the third time around...

"WE NEED IT, WORMTAIL!" said Voldemort loudly. "YOU WILL HELP! YOU WILL NOT FAIL ME! - if you follow what I have told you correctly..."

"I will, master," said Wormtail, "I will..."

"You will what?" asked Voldemort suddenly, sharply and loudly. "You will fail me?"

"No, my Lord!" pleaded Wormtail, "I won't fail!"

"If you do, Wormtail, you know what's coming..."

And Voldemort laughed coldly, causing a weak pain in Harry's scar to wake him up as the Hogwarts Express slowed down.

This was all a misty cloud in his mind. As Sirius looked to see if he was up when the train stopped, Harry must have been so tired, he had not retained any of it as he tried to remember the interesting dream he had. The only reminder was the weak pain in his scar which he knew by now to not hide from anyone.

"What's wrong?" said Hermione.

"My scar," said Harry slightly worried. "It hurts a little bit."

"What! Oh come on!" exclaimed Ron. "You-Know-Who was blasted again! How can your scar hurt?" Harry shook his head.

"Are you ever going to say his name? Especially now that you've seen him face to face."

"Forget you," said Ron flapping his hand.

"Do they always fight?" Sirius asked Hermione, who simply tutted loudly.

"Let's go," she added, pulling Harry's hand off his forehead.

"Uh oh," said Harry. The others noticed it too. "Never changed from my robes." A smile crossed his face. "Oh well!" he said loudly. "Can't change now and there's no where to change inside King's Cross."

"Take off your cloak then," suggested Hermione.

"I was thinking of leaving it on to scare my aunt and uncle," said Harry giggling as he stuffed his cloak inside his trunk. "Well, see you some time in the summer I guess?"

"That's right!" exclaimed Ron. "You haven't changed your mind yet, have you?"

"Changed his mind about what?" inquired Sirius.

"Fire Quidditch," said Harry. "The United States was so upset I helped England win that they want a rematch. Germany's in it now too. Hey Ron," he added, turning to Ron. "When -"

"The first game between Germany and the United States is in a month," Ron interrupted, reading Harry's mind. "Better keep up on your practice!"

"Just watch where you practice," said Sirius. "Even though Voldemort is out of the picture, there's a rumor that the Death Eaters are still at his side. If that is the case, then he'll rise faster than last time. Now come on, you have a whole summer to forget about it," he added reassuringly to Harry.

Harry couldn't help but agree. Two months to forget about Voldemort was all he needed and with Sirius staying with him, he walked back through the barrier of platform nine and three-quarters grinning as broadly as ever when he saw Uncle Vernon.

"Get in," grunted Uncle Vernon, his face a bright purple. There was no telling how Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia would treat Harry with Sirius lurking about. Lily and James had obviously never bothered to introduce the Sirius as Lily's sister, Petunia, wanted nothing to do with wizards or witches. It was definitely going to be a strange summer and it was definitely going to be more of a vacation than summers past.

The car ride was deadly quiet. Sirius and Harry sat in the back seat. Only Uncle Vernon had come and Harry guessed that Dudley was too scared (probably hiding in his room) and Aunt Petunia couldn't find the nerve. Someone had to come, though, and when Uncle Vernon grunted several more times, Harry and Sirius nodded in agreement it was Dumbledore who suggested Uncle Vernon.

Walking into the house was just as quiet. Sirius followed Harry straight up to his room, looking around at the house somewhat surprised as he had most likely never been in a Muggle home.

"The pictures," he said as Harry opened his door and turned the light on (it was late at night), "they don't move..."

"You'll get used to it."

Harry laughed madly as Dudley crossed the hallway, his hands grabbing his porky backside.

"That's my cousin, Dudley," said Harry, flattening the sheets on his bed. It didn't look like anyone entered the room since he left. "If you're mean to anyone, make sure it's him."

"Wouldn't it be better if we got along?" Sirius took a seat at the end of the bed.

"Never going to happen," said Harry rolling his eyes. "You don't know them. I still remember what my aunt said the day Hagrid came to get me. 'I knew you'd be just the same,' she babbled, 'just as strange, just as -- as -- abnormal -- and then...'" Harry stopped, shuddering at what he knew she said next. "'And then, if you please, she went and got herself blown up and we got landed with you...' Hagrid was there, he can tell you. Sounded like she was waiting to say it for years." In his own outrage, Harry had sat up against the side of the bed, holding his knees.

"It's going to change," said Sirius sharply. "Starting with this summer."

"Yeah," said Harry, a lot of hopelessness in his voice, "well... I hope so."

Just then the door opened and in it, stood the white faced Aunt Petunia. She looked horrified at the sight of Sirius but there was nothing to be horrified of. He wore a perfectly clean and well-kept black cloak and underneath it, Harry had hand-picked jeans and a white t-shirt. His hair was cut short and his face cleaner than it had ever been in recent days.

"Hello," he said politely. Aunt Petunia was taken aback by the tone of his voice. She forced a smile. He stood up and put a hand out but she didn't shake it -- she was too busy looking at the wand sticking out from underneath his cloak.

"Yes, well," he continued, trying to break the awkward silence. "I'll stay here tonight. It's big enough for the both of us."

Aunt Petunia watched horrified again as Sirius said "Accio." He must have known, or simply guessed, that no one ever removed the bed from the cupboard under the stairs. A bang signaled the cupboard door swung open. The bed came zooming up the stairs and into the room. Sirius followed it with his wand and placed it neatly on one side of the room, the sheets and covers still neatly on top of it. He then closed his eyes and muttered "Compingus reparo." Harry knew that Sirius fixed the door.

"Good night," said Aunt Petunia when she finally found her voice. She closed the door a lot harder than she intended.

"See what I mean?" said Harry.

"I have a lot of work to do." Sirius grinned. "It's late and you should get to bed," he said father-like. "Good night."

Harry stood up and crawled into bed, not bothering to change into pajamas. As Sirius didn't have any to begin with, he simply removed his cloak. He turned the light switch off with a wave of his wand.

Harry stared up at the darkness above him, thinking. It wasn't going to be exactly like having parents, he thought, but at the very least, Sirius was their best friend and that had to account for something. Sirius' snores indicated he was already asleep. For the first time in a long time, Harry felt almost content with himself. The only thing preventing him from being fully content was a burning feeling in the back of his head, that, as good as things looked, things were going to go bad soon.

He shouldn't worry about that, he thought to himself as he rolled over on his stomach. Voldemort is lying on the floor somewhere, a crumpled heap with a bunch of nutters running around like chickens with their heads cut off. Still, he was reminded, Wormtail was out there... but whatever was to come of what Sirius had said? What were those words?

"Wormtail owes his life to you," said Sirius' voice in Harry's head. "You have sent Voldemort a deputy who is in your debt... When one wizard saves another wizard's life, it creates a certain bond between them... and I'm much mistaken if Voldemort wants his servant in the debt of Harry Potter."

Chances are that Wormtail had lied about how he had escaped certain death from Ron's clutches, it was just the thing Wormtail would do. "He should have stayed a rat," said Harry outloud, angrily punching his pillow. Or better yet, Harry should have just let Sirius and Lupin kill him on the spot and none of this would have happened. Voldemort would not have been able to return to power. No one else would have died... and life would be grand.

But no, Harry had to suggest Wormtail get sent to Azkaban. That left the door wide open for something to go wrong... and something did go wrong. Lupin had forgotten to take a potion that kept him sane as a werewolf and not only that, but the stupid moon couldn't stay hidden for another few precious minutes. Sirius chased after the werewolf to protect Harry, Ron, Hermione and the unconscious body of Snape, leaving Wormtail the perfect opportunity to escape.

Harry pummeled his pillows. He had done the wrong thing. All he wanted was to do what he thought his father might do: give Wormtail the proper punishment and not turn Sirius and Lupin into real killers. What did all of that matter now? Killing Wormtail would have been no worse than killing the spider that Harry was staring at outside his window.

Perfectly happy just moments ago, he now regretted a lot. It was stupid. He should have let Sirius and Lupin kill Wormtail. Harry shut his eyes in protest, trying to forget what he was thinking about.

The next morning, Harry woke up all on his own. He turned over to lay on his back but fell to the floor with a thud, taking the covers with him. Sirius was already up and about so Harry took the opportunity to change into a pair of pajamas. Looking up at the clock, everyone was still having breakfast.

Last night's thoughts had all been forgotten as he entered the kitchen. Amazingly, Sirius had the Dursleys in a conversation...

"Yes, I work at a company called Grunnings," Uncle Vernon was saying. "We make drills. You can dig holes in things with them. Construction companies and such buy them from us."

"I see," said Sirius, rubbing his chin. "Oh, good morning, Harry," he said as Harry stepped in.

When Sirius' attention was averted, Uncle Vernon's face turned into a hideous glare that he aimed at the back of Sirius' head. Harry would keep all such looks from Sirius for as long as possible. If there was any hope in getting the two of them to like each other, that wouldn't help.

Several days passed without event. Sirius seemed to take a liking to Uncle Vernon but the feeling was not at all mutual. Every time Sirius turned his back, Uncle Vernon's face became screwed up in a look of detestment. But it wasn't all bad. Strangely enough, Aunt Petunia was taking a like to Sirius.

"How can you be so polite to them?" asked Harry one morning when Sirius threw a pillow at him. He continued to stay in Harry's room. The only other free room, if it could be called that, was the cupboard under the stairs.

"Your aunt is still bitter towards Lily," said Sirius sternly. "There's only one way I know of to change her mind."

Harry simply grunted and got out of bed.

It wasn't all bad. In Sirius' presence, Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia and Dudley weren't nasty towards Harry. The reason was very obvious, however. One time Sirius caught Dudley beating up on Harry and the result was Dudley being fully transfigured into a pig, finishing Hagrid's work.

Harry took a picture of Dudley and had it magically glued to his dresser much to everyone else's (except Sirius') detestment.

One day after lunch, the subject of Fire Quidditch came up again.

"You need to practice," said Sirius. "Especially if the United States has been training extra hard," he added grinning.

"But where?" asked Harry. Sirius didn't say anything. He pulled out Harry's Dragonback and invisibility cloak and held them both up. A light went off in Harry's head.

"Engorgio," said Sirius pointing his wand at the cloak. "That should hide us for the entire trip to Ron's. But we can't stay long. Dumbledore gave me specific instructions to keep you here and you're only allowed to leave if you have to."

"Okay," said Harry dully.

"Do your aunt and uncle know you have this?"

"Nope. Have to tell them."

Sirius and Harry went downstairs with the cloak, now big enough to cover even Hagrid.

"Petunia?" called Sirius into the living room. She just turned to look at him and Sirius held up the cloak, showing her what it does. Harry giggled at the look of distress on her face.

"We'll be back later," said Sirius and the two went outside.

Sirius covered Harry and himself with the cloak.

"Better you fly," said Sirius. "I don't think I can fly it at full speed." Harry grinned.

"It's not easy flying with two people, you know," said Harry as they both mounted the Dragonback. "I had a hard time steering around inside Azkaban." It was then that Harry remembered what he was thinking about while laying in bed only a few weeks ago.

He continued to keep the thoughts to himself as he flew at breakneck speeds under Sirius' direction to the Weasley home. Sirius had already notified them they would be coming and, while flying, like everyone else, he yelped when Harry's hands slipped back a few inches from accelerating so fast. The wind was coming at them so hard it felt like a tornado winds but the coldness kept Sirius from fainting, the air being so thin at such high speeds... Sirius complained about something that sounded a lot like Apparating was preferable to sonic-speed broomsticks.

"Hold on tight, then. No one's died on it, yet," Harry said, still grinning.

They reached the Weasley home in record time -- about a hour -- and landed in their backyard.

"Damn that thing is fast," said Sirius as they removed the cloak from themselves. "It didn't shudder or anything and we were going full speed for a full hour."

"Harry!" called Ron from inside.

"Reducio," Sirius said pointing his wand at the cloak, shrinking it to normal.

The Weasleys owned a small paddock hidden by trees where they could practice Quidditch. Ron, Fred, George and even Sirius managed to get thirty full games in. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley tossed up gnomes that Harry had managed to catch quite easily. They finally succumbed to the idea of letting Harry try playing as a Beater. He immediately one-upped Ron as Beater and managed to knock the Quaffle they had bought from Quality Quidditch Supplies the day before out of the air during a pass a bit more often than Ron.

Sirius and Harry stayed for a luxurious dinner consisting of a beef casserole and ending with a treacle pudding. They bid the Weasleys good night and took off into the night sky to head home. Sirius insisted Harry go slower as he didn't feel like losing his excellent dinner.

That night, Harry lay comfortably in bed, listening to the soothing sound of the light rain outside. He stayed up long past Sirius' light snores again, thinking, against his better judgement. What ever became of Michelle and Thantanos? Their faces had an expression of deep concern right before Voldemort said the magic words but Harry never heard from them since. Or did he even want to?

How had he taken such a liking to Michelle so quickly? The answer was quick -- Voldemort must have used a charm on her directed at him. Harry couldn't help but turn madly in his bed thinking about the two of them. Thantanos had acted strangely before. Why didn't Harry take notice? After Harry had performed an immensely strong Cruciatus, Thantanos woke up trying to say something but Harry had denied Thantanos the words. The mark on the back of his neck, what was it? Most puzzling of all, why did he forget the incident only days later?

Many times before Harry had questions he couldn't answer himself. It was these very problems that haunted his dreams. Harry dozed off while thinking about it.

"My dear boy!" began a Thantanos in his dreams. "I would never deprive my master of what he wants most!" Harry's very own skin nearly blinded him. The mark of ancients was truly bright when he wanted it to be. Before another thought crossed his mind, before he had time to think of what it would do, he tried his own turn at the Cruciatus Curse.

The pain must have been so powerful, so all consuming, that it took just one long, earsplitting, inhuman and bloody scream before the body of Thantanos lie motionless on the floor. Unconscious or dead, Harry really didn't care.

"Is he... breathing?" said Hermione cautiously as she walked up to the body. Sirius followed her.

"My God," said Sirius switching his head between Thantanos and Harry, "what did you use?"

"Cruciatus," said Harry without pity. Sirius bent over Thantanos and checked for a pulse.

"Still alive..."

"Hey," said Hermione, "what's this?"

"What's what?" said Ron. Harry bent down to look.

"That," she said pointing at something on the back of Thantanos' neck. "It's a tattoo."

"Of a Slytherin snake," said Harry. "Who cares. Just showing off."

"Wait a minute... it - it's changing..."

Harry would have none of this. He wanted Thantanos out and to forget all about it. "Ennervate," he said pointing his wand at Thantanos, whose entire body gave spasm at once. Thantanos sprang to his feet and stared horrified at Harry. "Go before I change my mind," said Harry. "I ought to kill you where you stand."

"But, please," said Thantanos, much more like a beg than anything else, "listen to what I have to say!"

"Make it quick," said Harry. Harry plopped himself heavily onto his chair. He didn't want to listen but with the expression on Thantanos' face, he didn't have a choice.

"You have to listen. My master -- Lord Vol- You-Know-Who -- put me up to it. He keeps us under constant Imperius. If he finds out that you broke it for me, he'll have me killed... or worse..." Thantanos got out of his chair and got on his knees and started pleading to Harry. "Harry... Please... help... he's not dead, not even now in the present... he knows you're staying with Sirius... he's going to... he's coming... he - will - kill - you!"

Very disturbed at this behavior, Harry sat dumbstruck in his chair. His sleeping mind didn't ponder the words of Thantanos -- it was his conscious mind that made Harry wake up with a start, letting out a loud yelp and sitting bolt upright. His arm was dangling off the edge of the bed and he was in a cold sweat. The Thantanos in his dreams knows he's with Sirius at this very moment? Harry's scream was loud enough to wake up Sirius.

"Harry?" he called from the darkness. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," lied Harry at first. He then realized he shouldn't constantly hide the details. It was these little things that later turned out to become the nightmares. He paused, listening to his own heavy breath, before saying, "Everything." He shifted around before going to lay on his back.

"It's good for you to get these things off your chest," said Sirius comfortingly, sitting up. He lit the end of his wand and made it hover in the middle of the room. The light was enough to see the room end to end clearly. Harry laid back down and stared blankly at the ceiling. Sirius stared directly at Harry. Neither caught the other's gaze.

"Michelle and Thantanos... Right before Voldemort tried to..." -- and he swallowed without saying "kill me" -- "Michelle said she was sorry."

"I don't know what to tell you," said Sirius flatly. "If anyone else your age had to put up with this, they might very well break down. Whatever you do, keep doing it."

Harry immediately planned out what the conversation would be if he said "Look at me, am I doing it very well?" but the concerned look on Sirius' face prevented him from blurting it out. Sirius would have just said "But you're up and about," to which Harry would then say "Being up and about isn't enough. I want to be happy." A small part of him cried out something along the lines of "You'll get through it. When push comes to shove, you've always jammed it through."

Harry swallowed all pretense and said "I'm not holding anything back anymore. Whatever I'm feeling, I'm telling someone whether they want to hear it or not."

"You aren't doing that already?" questioned Sirius and sounding rather concerned. Harry felt himself go red. There was a pause.

"Good night," said Harry suddenly. Talk to Sirius tomorrow morning, he told himself, as his mind drifted off into the satisfying state of sleep.