Too Much Firewhiskey

Too much Firewhiskey

"Professor?"

" ..."

"Professor Snape? Sir?"

"What? Wha-is it? Who-zed that?"

"It's Draco, sir."

"Ah, so it is! Come sit- hic - come sit wiv your favourite profwesor!"

"Are you alright, sir?"

"Perfectly, my dear, top notch and - hic- what do they say?"

"What do who say?"

"Those people. Those people wiv the eggs."

"I don't know, sir."

"No. I didn't think so."

"What are you drinking? Firewhiskey! How many have you had, sir?"

"I don't know, sir. How-many have I had?"

"I don't know."

"HAHA!"

"Sir?"

"You know, you're my favourite student - hic - my favourite."

"Thank you, sir. You're, um, my favourite professor."

"Am I? Why-zat?"

"Because you're, um, a very, err, good teacher and you, um, were friends with my father."

"..."

"What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You father, Draco - hic -"

"..."

"..."

"My father, sir?"

"You father is a very very attractive man."

"Err..."

"Very attractive - hic - with a great personality."

"Um, well that's good."

"Do you have a great personality, Draco?"

"Well, I would say I have a better personality than, say, Potter-"

"LIKE HIS FATHER!!!"

"- but can't something like personality only be judged by others? I mean, I believe only those who have spent time with you and judged your intentions and your actions can really tell you what your personality is like."

"..."

"..."

"I have a very stunted personality, Draco."

"I'm sure you don't, sir."

"I do. It's very small and not very nice to look at."

"..."

"..."

"Is personality something you can see?"

"Well, how-elze would you know where it was, you stupid boy!"

"..."

"I bet you have a very nice personality, Draco."

"My friends tell me I do, sir."

"That's very nice of them."

"Yes, I have a good group of friends."

"So? Am I supposed to care? - hic-"

"Um, I guess not."

"NO!"

"..."

"..."

"Are you sure you're alright, sir?"

"I just have to pay for the-- um, the--"

"The firewhiskey?"

"Yes, please."

"Err, you need to pay for it."

"Oh, yes. Here you go."

"No, not to the goblin. To Madam Rosmerta."

"Oh, sorry, Rossy. You look awfully similar."

"Sorry, Madam Rosmerta. He's not feeling himself."

"I feel like yooouuuuu."

"..."

"You look a lot like your father, you know, Draco. A lot like him."

"Thank you, sir."

"A shining example of bloody pure- hic- All pure and bloody."

"Pure blood, sir?"

"No, I'm not."

"You're not, sir??"

"No. My father, he waz a muggly, couldn't do stuff with wands. Your father could do stuff with wands."

"So can I."

"Can you??"

"So can you, sir!"

"No, I waz always rubbish at it."

"At what?"

"I don't know."

"..."

"I'm thirsty. ANOTHER WHISKLEY!"

"I think you've had enough, sir."

"I'm drinking for two."

"What??"

"You're not drinking. A WHISKLEY FOR THE UGLY BLONDE BOY!"

"No, I don't want one, thanks. Sir, I really think I should take you back to Hogwarts."

"The night is still little!"

"You mean young. The night is still young."

"..."

"Come on, sir, up you get!"

"Where are we going?"

"I'm-- I'm taking you back to Hog-- Hogwarts so you can sleep-- some of this off."

"Come on then, Draco, stop lagging boy!"

"You're quite heavy, sir."

"LET'S GO, DRACO!"

"Yes, sir, I'm coming. Goodbye, Madam Rosmerta."

"Goodbye, my hairless friend!"

"Sorry, Rosmerta."

"DRACO!"

"Yes, sir. Here we go."

"Draco..."

"Yes, sir?"

"I'm going to be sick."

"..."

"..."

"Err..."

"Sorry."

"Don't worry, sir. I can, um-- I can clean up. Let's get out of here. Quickly."

"Your father used to say that."

"..."

"Thank you, Draco."

"That's alright, sir. Besides, you are my favourite professor."

"Your favourite?"

"Yes. My very favourite."