Refuse to Dance

Got your invitation to the dance,

In all honesty I didn't think you'd ask me. I thought you'd be afraid at what all your mates would say, but I was wrong. I should have known you wouldn't have really cared what other people said about you, about me, about us. I should have known that. I guess I didn't know that, I doubted you. That was my first mistake, underestimating your love.
Wear your party dress.

I did wear a dress, and an odd occurrence it was too. Ron even hollered for the whole Gryffindor common room to hear 'The apocalypse is coming! Hermione is wearing a dress!' I stumbled down the last few stairs from my dorm, but not because of my dress, but because I didn't think Ron had known what an apocalypse was. I was wrong about that. I was a bit amazed at you though; you looked...well...mature. I'd never gotten much of a chance to see you grown up, maybe that's because you grew up too fast.
Maybe I was just an innocent.

Nope. Bad hypothesis, I wasn't so innocent or chaste anymore. That wasn't your fault though. We all grew up too fast, but that was what tonight was supposed to remedy, we were supposed to...allowed to...expected to...act like the love-crossed teenagers we were never allowed to be. Tonight, after all this war, was for celebration. Tonight was supposed to end with a gentle kiss on the cheek and then a whispered 'Good night, love.' It was not supposed to end up with me beside the lake and you humiliated...not that you would ever allow yourself to be humiliated.
But I confess,

It was my fault. I had fooled myself into thinking that we were perfect. I had planned our whole life out for us. Day by day, week by week, kiss for kiss. I was always so darn good at planning. And you knew that, you anticipated I'd planned out tonight too, and as you took my hand you said, 'Stow the plans.' But never in all my days of carefully penciling things into my planner did I anticipate this kind of surprise.
I never even knew the song
The orchestra was playing.

I'm sure it was quite pretty, everyone was smiling, everyone was so happy. Everyone was just milling about on the dance floor. Adults and students just happy to be back in these halls...happy to feel safe. Married couples sitting around the edges of the floor with glasses of liquor reminiscing about their wedding receptions. Large groups of friends swaying in circles, arms linked, not worrying that they had no dates, just happy to be with friends. There's that word again. Happy...it is such a foreign emotion. Even on this night of celebration the eyes are still quiet...the smiles still half there...the hunched shoulders still protecting...and the war still in our hearts. But as we revolved slowly on the spot I didn't bother to think about the war...I was just so content, in a way I hadn't felt since I thought I was still a Muggle. You know what? I was happy.
See the cuties in their party clothes.

My dress was a little out of place, just like me in it. Others were wearing dress robes, you were. I was wearing a dress. A Muggle dress, my mother's, a subtle tribute to her death. Something only you and your brother noticed. Not that I expected any others to notice, they had their own friends to compliment on party wear.
Oh it's getting warm.

Maybe because we were dancing. Maybe because we were getting the strange looks I had half-expected. Those looks I thought would bother you, I was wrong. You just squeezed my waist and kissed my forehead at every possible opportunity. Your lips were warm, and now I'm just cold, the wind tossing light sprays of the lake up at me.
Off the shoulder cut into the hip,
Like a uniform.

There is no uniform here; the only people here dressed in exactly the same thing are you and your brother. No body else bothered coordinating their clothes; they just scrounged what they could on the short notice that Dumbdlore gave. Some with big broad bows attached to their hips, others with their old school robes on, and even a fair few who attended in glittering concoctions. Though you truly do stand out the most, as was always your way. I who never liked being noticed, and you who wanted all the attention, what an odd couple we make, and yet that is those kind of character differences are what makes us so good together...or at least that's what I thought.
Did you think I'd want to tow the line?
Well now the line is broken.

I didn't know what to say. What did you expect me to do? Scream 'YES!' at the top of my lungs and throw myself around your neck. I could never do that, though I can not say I acted with composure. Running out of the Great Hall sobbing and then throwing yourself down on the grass by the lake is not exactly the socially acceptable and graceful thing to do. I was never known for my social status. You were. Another mistake on my part...of all the things I thought that would happen tonight I didn't think that you would do that. What the hell were you thinking of Fredrick?
Refuse to dance.

Another one of my really stupid questions.
Refuse to dance.

I know exactly what you were thinking.
Refuse to dance.

You were thinking that I would say 'Yes Fred, yes.'
Refuse to dance.

And I don't know why I didn't just say yes, probably because it wasn't part of my brilliant master plan. I should have known better than to plan in the first place. For the past three years nothing has gone as planned. For starters it was supposed to be a quick war, over and done with in a maximum of six months. It took three years. In that time I was not supposed to lose my parents, my Oliver, Lavender, and Oliver was not supposed to be replaced by you. Yet another one of my mistakes, thinking I could never love you. Thinking you and I weren't meant to be, because we were. What an idiot I've been.
You said you're such a pretty thing.

You did say that, at the time I wasn't really interested in any love of any kind. For gosh sakes I was seventeen at the time and I'd already lost my fiancé, I wasn't ready to be patted on the head and let loose on the bachelors of the wizerding world. But you weren't ready to let me be an old spinster either. Look, another time when I'd mistaken you; I do that a lot.
You could make a mark.

You didn't say that to me. Its just something I've always thought about you. Always thought that you could make a mark on a girl's poor unsuspecting heart. And you did. At last a case when I didn't underestimate you.
I'll teach you all the steps you'll need,
Guide you through the dark.

We did that for each other, from the time I lost Oliver to the moment when you opened that dratted velvet box. I hate that box and yet at the moment it is one of the few things I really want to hold in my hand. Funnily enough, even though I had a delightful lighthouse through some of the darkest times of my life...I've ended up outside in the middle of the night...in the dark with only a giant squid for company.
Suddenly I thought I knew the song,
The orchestra was playing.

The song was Muggle, and that right there should have clued me into an odd happening, maybe not the end of the world, but definitely something peculiar. When you got down on one knee and proposed to me in front of the entire Order and so many more I panicked, my life flashed before my mind's eye. Every moment, half of them in your arms, and I couldn't bring myself to commit to that again...not after last time. Harry and Ron were smiling behind your shoulder, each with two glasses of wine in their hands, no doubt ready to make a toast.
Refuse to dance.

I should have let them raise their glasses.

Refuse to dance.

But I didn't want to lose you too.

Refuse to dance.

So I ran.

Refuse to dance.

Because I didn't want to lose you I gave you up. But I love you.
See how they follow?

All the eyes in that hall were following me, except yours. When my hands reached up to cover my mouth and stifle my gasp you knew. Your eyes became downcast and your head bowed. When I picked up my skirts and ran at the doors you didn't turn to stop me, you didn't even stand up straight. The whole hall was silent, every single eye on me. Even as I ran I knew what I should have said.
You say jump. They jump.
You say turn. They turn.

People always did what you told them to. They admired you, but I was different, in school when you and George told me to lighten up I just shook my head without looking up from my book. You never gave up on me though, never took my bookworm obsessions as they were, you always tried to break them. You just never gave up. Later in the war, right after he left, you wouldn't let me wallow in self-pity, not that I didn't try. You always tried to cheer me up, tried to make me laugh, told me jokes, danced around while we were supposed to be patrolling. You never once gave up on me...so why aren't you out here trying to slip that ring on my finger.
Look back in sorrow,

I am looking back in sorrow, over my shoulder, back at the castle and its sloping lawns. And I've realized that I've underestimated you again.
I won't be there.

Too right I won't be there if you look back, I won't be there because I'm in front of you. I've just run up the muddy lawns of the castle, ripped my mum's dress, muddied the soles of my bare feet abandoning my heels at the side of the lake, collided with your stiff form, and thrown my arms around your neck to kiss the living day lights out of you. And you understand, you don't have to ask. You just kiss me back patiently, my tears running down your cheeks. You pull back and I can see you again--tie undone, cufflinks roughly pulled off, hair tousled from where you ran stressed and angry hands through your read hair, and now you have one dirty knee from where you just kneeled on the ground to purpose to me...for the second time. You didn't give up on me--you never have, and I've underestimated your love too. Never will I do that again. Never, because I know I'm meant to be with Fred Weasley and nothing will keep me from you. Especially not my own doubts. I have no more questions for you--just and answer. 'Yes Fred, yes!' At the castle doors they're clapping, their eyes filled with joy, not sorrow, their figures clapping each other on unbent shoulders, smiles broad and bright. I'm never letting go of you Fred, and from the way your arms are gripping my waist picking my feet off the ground I highly doubt you'll ever let go either.

Refuse to dance...

I think I get it now. I'm not supposed to be able to lay a finger on why we are destined for one another. I'm not supposed to be able to plan out our lives when the unexpected is actually quite common. I'm only allowed to anticipate one thing for the rest of my life, and that's the fact that, you love me. That Fredrick Weasley loves me, Hermione Granger. Actually I think there are two more things I can count on.

First that I'll never be able to refuse a dance because I'll always have you, we're dancing right now, back in the castle. I don't know what song it is, don't care. I just know I'm going to have a very hard time when you finally put my feet back on the ground.

The second thing I know is that my child will have red hair, and for now I don't even have to worry about that. We're just dancing right now...just dancing...together.