Pranking a Professor

Chapter 2: Task One--How About a Hug?

Task #1: Run up to Snape. Give him a hug. Tell him you were on strict orders by Dumbledore to do so.

Duration: First time you see him.

The first day of school was simple enough; Defense Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration. Professor Lupin had been brought back on popular demand due to Dumbledore successfully convincing the poor man that everyone loved him and no one blamed him for what happened. The Gryffindor 7^th years were waiting for him; all were sitting orderly in their seats when he finally arrived. A round of applause greeted the tired yet benevolent professor as soon as he closed the door. Professor Lupin smiled and gave a small wave.

"Good morning everyone," Lupin said in that oh-so-familiar pleasant voice. The class responded with a chorus of,

"Welcome back!" Lupin smiled sheepishly again. There were also quite a few scattered additions such as, "Good to see you again Professor!" Hermione absently noted how much younger and handsome he looked when he smiled...not that he didn't look young and handsome all the time, mind you...

The lesson began immediately. Lupin sat his tattered old briefcase on his desk. "Let's begin, shall we? For the first month or two, we shall be studying dementors." Out of the corner of her eye, Hermione saw Harry shudder a bit. "Who can tell me the two remedies to a dementor attack?" Lupin asked.

Instinctively, Hermione's hand shot in the air. "The Patronus Charm," she promptly answered after Lupin nodded to her.

"Yes, good Hermione. Does anyone know the other?" Lupin asked. No one seemed to know. The teacher smiled as he reached into his briefcase and pulled out a large bar of Honeyduke's best chocolate. He broke it into 18 squares and began handing them out to the students.

"Chocolate?" Neville questioned, stuffing the piece in his mouth.

Lupin nodded. "Yes, chocolate is one of the best. If you've been attacked or affected by a dementor, this can help revive you."

Professor Lupin gave the class an assignment on the behavior of dementors, their origins and current uses. Hermione was finished in absolutely no time at all, and having ten minutes or so left of class, she pulled out the list. After reading it over once or twice, she glanced at Harry, who had marked checks on various numbers and scribbled down notes beside them. He looked up from his work and winked at her. Hermione sighed, wishing she could cast Cruciatus on him. Hermione sighed. How was she going to pull all of these off? So lost in her own thoughts was she that she didn't even notice Professor Lupin reading the list over her shoulder. Then he continued walking down the rows, examining other student's work and chuckled silently to himself. This should be rather interesting, he thought as the bell rang.

Hermione pocketed the list and swung her bag over her shoulder, waiting for Ron and Harry. "Transfiguration next," she announced to them after they had exited the class. But the boys weren't paying attention--they had just gone into a fit of laughter that they were unsuccessfully trying to turn into coughs. Hermione looked down the hall, and striding towards them was the human bat himself, Professor Snape.

"Here's your chance!" Ron exclaimed with glee.

Hermione's heart fluttered and the color drained from her cheeks. "No," she pleaded quietly, watching Snape come closer and closer. She looked around at the students heading to class and chatting with one another, her fear growing. "Not here...not with everyone around!"

"Yes!" Ron and Harry said in unison, and they gave her a nudge toward the teacher. Hermione gathered up all of her Gryffindor bravery, dropped her bag, and flung her arms around Professor Snape's middle as he walked by.

Everything in the hallway came to a screeching halt. Students stopped in mid sentence and a few of their belongings dropped to the floor in shock as they watched Hermione. Snape went rigid, and Hermione squeezed him tighter. Damn his chest is hard. After a second, she let go of him, blushing. She picked up her bag and slipped it over her shoulder.

Snape was standing stock still, eyes closed, fists clenched, and a completely disgusted expression was on his face. A passerby seeing only the disgruntled professor's face wouldn't find a difference between him and someone who had just witnessed a particularly grotesque execution.

"Er..." Hermione said after clearing her throat. Snape's eyes cracked open menacingly. "The Headmaster seemed to think that you looked awfully down today," she explained in a would-be offhand sort of way. It wasn't coming out to sound that like that. She tripped over a few of her words. "So he told me to give you a hug the moment I saw you. He seemed to think it would cheer you up." There was an awkward pause until the students around her began to giggle. Hermione flashed an embarrassed grin and hurried past Snape. Harry and Ron were at her heels; smiles stretched across their faces, throwing winks at random students.

"That was brilliant!" Harry exclaimed, patting her on the back.

"You should have seen the way Snape looked!" Ron added with a laugh. Hermione scowled, looking at the floor.

"That was the most humiliating thing I've ever done!"

"Yet," Harry added, a moment before Hermione knocked him out of the window they past.

Task #2: Grin insanely at Snape. Don't stop for the whole class.

Duration: One class period of Potions.

"Is there a point to this?" Hermione asked disdainfully after Ron and Harry informed her of what was next.

"Yes! Snape will get really annoyed!" Harry replied.

"...And is there a point to this?"