Pranking a Professor

Chapter 1--The Big Plan

Hermione sighed heavily. How in the world had she gotten mixed up with this nutty plan? It'd be the end of her life...he was going to kill her. A round or two of Cruciatus Roulette was more promising than what he'd do to her. But this was a challenge, and Hermione Granger never, ever turned down challenges. Damn seventh year pranks--tradition at Hogwarts. This was going to be a long, drawn out prank on the school's most despised and hated Professor. Damn Harry and Ron for this stupid list. It was only supposed to be used for something humorous...not for something someone would actually complete. However, the deal had been set, and her fate had been sealed, and for the next ten months, the long, running joke was going to be put into action. They had elected Hogwarts' most accomplished and clever student, the fifth year with the highest grade on her O.W.L.s. A person no one would ever expect to put a single strand of her bushy brown hair out of line--HER. Yes Hermione Granger, Head Girl, the Queen of Study Skills, and the only student who slept with the Hogwarts Rulebook under her pillow at night. She was the least likely suspect...damn Harry, Ron, Fred, and George to hell.

What had began as a simple list of April Fool's jokes to play on random, anonymous people in their sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry had evolved into the biggest scandal the school has ever seen. It was formulated by the Marauders' son--The Boy Who Lived, his best friend, and the biggest pranksters Hogwarts may ever see--Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and of course, Fred and George Weasley: Pranksters Extraordinaire.

~Flashback~

"Hmm, our last year...can you believe it's almost all over?" Harry asked. He and Hermione had been invited to spend a portion of the summer at the Burrow and they began to discuss the upcoming year at Hogwarts. Fred and George were having breakfast with them while Ron's mother was out getting their supplies at Diagon Alley.

"No...you sort of get caught in this time warp and think things will never end...but they will end very, very soon," Hermione had replied.

"I was happy to be getting out!" Fred announced.

"Why?" questioned Ron.

"Because, as we've told you before, Fred and I are both in the process of setting up a joke shop in Diagon Alley!" George answered triumphantly.

"But doesn't Hogsmeade already have Zonko's?" Harry asked. "Everyone goes there if they want tricks."

"That store is for amateurs," Fred dismissed with a wave of his hand. "Our shop--Weasley's Wizard Wheezes--is for only the most advanced pranksters that walk this Earth."

"You'd better be happy Mum let you even carry out with this crazy scheme when you did that to Umbridge last year. Not to mention after that trick you pulled on Snape on April First. You two really don't know when to knock it off," Ron said disdainfully.

"Aw, you didn't like our trick perfect Prefect Ron?" Fred asked in a mock hurtful tone.

Hermione smiled faintly, remembering the look on Snape's face after he became human again. As it turns out, the famous trick--the finale of the twin's time at Hogwarts was delivered to Professor Snape at breakfast on April Fool's Day of the trio's fifth year. Finding their way into the kitchens early that morning, Fred and George had asked the house elves to slip a special ingredient in Snape's tea. The house elves had agreed happily. Unfortunately for Snape, the extra ingredient had been one from the twin's special transfiguration draughts.

So at the breakfast table while normal conversation ensued between the twins, the trio, and other Gryffindors, Hermione had noticed that both boys had kept glancing up at the staff table.

"Something wrong, George?" she had asked while following his gaze. Then suddenly, right as Snape put his beverage back down on the table, he gave a horrible constrained cry and something could be heard exploding with a loud BANG! Every head in the Great Hall turned up at the table to see a puff of blue smoke; Snape was no more. The teacher had been replaced with a large black bat perching on the top of his wing-backed chair. Both Weasley twins stood up and cheered loudly as the Hogwarts population rolled with laughter.

"Yes, that was good," Fred added, snapping Hermione back to reality.

"And how long did it take you to think that up?" questioned Harry, chuckling.

"Oh not long...we just had to look at our list and pick his poison. Pardon the pun."

"I know I'm going to regret this, but what list?" Hermione asked.

She sure as hell did regret it with every fiber of her being. They'd taken a long look at the list titled--Pranks for the Innocent and Other Ways to Anger Random People. They laughed until tears were leaking out of their eyes, and their stomachs ached.

"Oh it's a pity it's our time at Hogwarts is over...we spent such a long time concocting devious ways to make people angry with us...and it'll never get put into action," George said thoughtfully. Harry looked over the list.

"This one would be good for Snape," he said, pointing to number 296.

"That's what we thought, but after that humorous fiasco in the Great Hall on April Fool's, Snape would've blamed anything and everything on us from then on," Fred replied. "If Professor Lupin would've turned up in werewolf form and ripped Snape apart, he would've blamed it on us."

"As a matter of fact, all of these could be good for Snape!" Ron exclaimed, "They'd be bloody hilarious as well."

"Yes, they would..." George trailed off. And then at the same time, both twins sat up bolt right with a start.

"What?" Harry asked.

"I just got an idea!" they answered in unison. They looked at each other and then at the trio.

"What?" Ron repeated, annoyed.

"We can still complete all the things on the list with a certain amount of help!" George announced slyly. A silence followed while the twins shifted their gaze between the three younger Gryffindors.

Ron.

Harry.

Hermione.

Harry.

Ron.

Hermione again.

A light bulb clicked on in Harry's head. "You can't be serious--!"

"Why not? You all could help us out!" Fred said.

"And what exactly do we get out of the deal?" Ron retorted, "Besides a load of detentions and death threats?"

"Ron, you get the supreme feeling of defeating the man you hate the most! You get the satisfaction of carrying on your father's legacy Harry, and Hermione, you get to face your biggest challenge yet," George explained in a giddy manner.

"No way," Hermione said. "We'll be the most hated students in all of Hogwarts."

"No you won't! You'll be cherished and remembered forever for finally driving Snape mad!" Fred exclaimed.

"You mean we have to do this all to Snape?!"

And that was how Pranks for the Innocent and Other Ways to Anger Random People list quickly changed to 404 Ways to Annoy Professor Severus Snape list. It'd taken some convincing on the Weasley's part and Ron finally agreed to it. Harry followed him, thinking his friend might need the use of his Marauders Map and Invisibility Cloak. But Hermione was locked up like a Gringotts vault. The boys spent the summer sending Hermione owls with pleading notes and bribing letters. And in the end, Hermione had succumbed to it after Harry had promised to buy her any five books of her choice from Flourish and Blotts and Ron had promised never to nag her about her studying habits again. So that brings us up to date.

~End Flashback~

Hermione sighed and gazed out of the window at the trees and landscape rolling by, a setting sun on the horizon. The train was rushing her to her doom...Hogwarts Castle. This was going to be a very, very long year.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were alone in a compartment on the train and both boys were animatedly discussing the list.

"What do you think we should start with?" Ron asked them both.

"Something simple and subtle so it doesn't rise any suspicion," Hermione replied, leaning forward closer to the boys.

"Great...I've got the absolute perfect task," Harry announced, pocketing the list.