Unsaid

"You're what?"

"Mione, you don't underst...!"

"Don't tell me what I don't understand! Harry, you can't be serious! You're only fifteen! You can't go out and join the war yet!"

"Hermione, it's not that bad. I've fought him before, and you didn't throw a huge fit then..."

"It wasn't your choice back then! You just kind of stumbled into those. If you hadn't fought then, you would've gotten killed!"

"I'LL END UP GETTING KILLED IF I DON'T KILL HIM NOW, HERMIONE! Voldemort (I shuddered at the sound of his name) isn't just going to sit around and wait for me to come around! He'll come find me now that Dumbledore is gone! He died to save me, just like my parents did. If I just sat around and waited for him to find me, that would be 4 lives wasted. I'm not going to do that, Hermione!"

I looked into Harry's grim face and realised that nothing I could ever say would make him change his mind. As I looked into his bright emerald eyes, I noticed straight away what he was going to say next, because the determined look in his eyes was slowly becoming clouded over by pain and anguish. "Harry...surely you're not...not tomorrow!" I knew it, though. It was stupid to ask.

Harry didn't answer, but looked down to the floor and put his hand to his forehead.

"Harry! Harry no! You can't do this!"

It seemed as though it took all of Harry's strength to look into my eyes at that moment and say, "I have to, Hermione. I know, you think I can't do it- that I SHOULDN'T do it - but I don't have a choice." Harry heaved a heavy sigh. "Anyway, I've got to get to bed, we're leaving early." He turned to go to the dormitories. "But Hermione,"

I tried to wipe off my face, which was, by then, soaked with my salty tears. I didn't move her head, but instead looked up with my eyes (which were drowning behind a glassy surface) and tried to look him in the eye without showing her tears. "Mmm?" It was all I could say. My best friend was about to go to war, and he was probably going to get himself killed. The worst part was, I couldn't do a thing about it.

"If I don't make it back-"

"Harry don't say that! You WILL make it back!" By now I had stood up and looked him square in the eyes. I didn't care if he saw my tears.

"Don't lie to yourself 'Mione! It will only make it harder. Look, there's a possibility I might not come back. If I don't, I want you to know, I will stay with you and Ron until fate tears my spirit away, forces me to stop guarding you. Please, Hermione, remember, you'll never be alone. I'll guide you through anything. No matter what happens, I'll always be there." And he turned to go up to the dorms again.

"Harry, wait." I watched as he spun around, wondering what I would say. I looked into his eyes for at least five minutes before I had found the words that I would say, and had sorted them into actual sentences mentally. "I...I'll miss you so much!" I wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed so hard that he must've started to go purple in the neck. As I stood there, still holding onto his neck, I managed to splutter through my tears, "I love you, and I always will. Please, be careful, Harry." And after a while, I let go and stared into his face. Then I decided: "I'm going with you."

"NO. No, Hermione. You're too close to me. You-know-who is not stupid, he'll take you hostage. I'll come back for you, and Ron, no matter what. Count on me."

That's when I knew, that if I didn't tell him then, I might never get to. Harry, I love you! I can't bear to be without you. If only you knew...for the last 5 years, since I first met you on that train, and you were so polite. While I was petrified in second year, all I could think about was you. You held my hand, even though you thought I couldn't feel you. But I could, I always could. I know I'm not good at Divination, but I can see myself standing at the alter with you! Having children! Growing old!

But I never said it.

He went to bed, and eventually I did too. The next morning, he was gone. I never saw him again.

***