The Sorting Troll

"So we've just got to try on the hat! I'll kill Fred, he was going on about wrestling a troll."
~Ron, PS/SS

Finally, it was the night before Ron would start at Hogwarts, but he wasn't TOO excited. For although he wanted to make a name for himself, doing so wouldn't be easy given he had five older brothers who'd already done everything. At least that's how Ron felt, though Fred and George would have disagreed on the "done everything" bit because they had yet to blow up a toilet. Emphasis on the word YET...

Especially at the moment, what with Percy lecturing him about all the rules and regulations they had to abide by while at school. Percy probably would have gone on for another hour or three if not for the stink pellet that suddenly landed and went off at his feet. In the confusion that followed, Ron gratefully escaped out of the living room and into the kitchen, where two identical figures were sniggering with glee.

Then again, sometimes having two mischief-loving older brothers had its advantages. And then some... "Thanks guys."

He turned to head upstairs to his room, but George quickly blocked his path. "Hold up there a minute, Ron."

"What? You two want a favor for 'rescuing' me from Percy?"

"No, no, quite the opposite in fact," George reassured him. "We're just giving you fair warning, that's all-"

"-because we figured that Motor Mouth the Prefect," Fred indicated Percy, who had just stopped coughing, "wouldn't bother to tell you the real details of the Sorting."

Ron arched an eyebrow, a bit suspicious. "What about the Sorting?"

The twins glanced at each other knowingly, then gave Ron sympathetic looks. "You mean Pyro Boy didn't tell you?"

"Pyro Boy" was their nickname for Charlie because he had landed a job as a Dragon Keeper in Romania the previous summer. Upon hearing his nickname, the brother in question joined them. "Didn't tell Ron what, Fred?"

"About the troll!" Fred stated as if it were quite obvious.

"What troll?"

"You know, the Sorting Troll!" George gave their second-eldest brother a sly wink.

Charlie caught on to their little game but decided to play along. "Ah yes, I remember now."

Ron paled, assuming that if Charlie knew what they were talking about, it wasn't a trick. Of course, we all know the three little words in "assume"... "S...sorting Troll?"

"Yeah, you go up on the stage and wrestle this big troll, see?" Fred attempted to demonstrate by tackling George and wrestling with him but it ended up being a poor example, as they were evenly matched.

"But inevitably you lose and get thrown off." George dodged a mock punch and attempted to detach his wriggling twin as an example, but only succeeded in sending them rolling across the floor.

"And whichever House's table you land on-"

"-is the House you're 'sorted' into!" After a few more minutes of roughousing they picked themselves up and headed back to the stairs.

"But... isn't that dangerous?" Ron gulped.

Fred gave him a dismissive wave. "Granted, it hurts a lot when you first land, but the pain usually doesn't last long."

"What do you mean 'usually'...?"

George looked thoughtful for a moment. "Weeelll, there was that one boy at last year's Sorting... Remember him, Fred? The one who landed between the Ravenclaw and Slytherin tables?"

Fred cringed. "How could I forget? Poor little bugger..."

"W-w-what happened to him?" stuttered Ron, falling hook, line, and stinker.

"Before he knew what had happened the two sides turned him into a Tug of War rope, each trying to get him to their side. It wasn't pretty..."

"Last we heard, after he got out of the Hospital Wing they let him into Hufflepuff for the sake of his sanity. Or rather, what was left of it..." George grimaced at the "memory."

Ron considered all this for a bit. "Wait a minute... If the whole thing's as random as you say, then how come you three, Percy, and Bill all got 'sorted' into Gryffindor?"

Fred shrugged. "We asked Professor McGonagall our first day, and she mentioned something about the troll somehow being able to predict where we belong. I reckon it's just Fate."

"Of course, you could always let go on your own and pray for the best-"

"-but you might end up like that poor Hufflepuff boy..."

But before Ron could fully react, a disgruntled Percy marched over to the group, scowling deeply. "I've heard quite enough of your ridiculous stories for one night you two! Scaring our youngest brother like that! Honestly!"

"That's right, we were telling honest stories, Perce!" George countered indignantly. "Besides, what do you know?!"

"Yeah, you're just a stickler for rules because you're afraid they'll sicc the troll on you if you put one toe out of line!" agreed Fred. "Don't listen to a word he says, Ron. ... Ron?" He was talking to empty space now.

For Ron had fled up the stairs as soon as Fred mentioned the troll-siccing. Unsure of who to believe, he locked himself in his room for the rest of the night. He didn't hear the twins and Percy yell "NOW look what you've done!" at the same time, or the arguement that followed.

"Pray for the best," George had said. Ron supposed that that was all he could do at this point. Little did he know that the only troll he'd be facing that year would not appear on his first day but on Halloween, or that the experience would bring him closer to his newfound friends.