Legacy of the Marauders

Chapter Nine Chaotic Christmas

Sapphire had been content to sleep on the couch away from the boys' antics until one morning, Christmas morning to be exact; she woke up surrounded by darkness in what seemed to be a very small space. Needless to say, she began to scream.

"Shh," hissed a nearby voice.

"Sirius?" she queried.

"Hush. Yes, we put you in a box to give you to Remus for Christmas."

She could not believe what she was hearing. "You can't give me to him as a gift! He already knows I belong to him."

"Aww, that's so sweet," squealed Peter, a bit too femininely for comfort. There was a light clapping sound as if someone had just slapped somebody else on the back of the head. A second later Peter yelped, "Ouch!"

"Just play along," James nearly begged. "With our little additions it'll be really funny."

Additions? What might they be? Sapphire decided she'd rather not know. "Whatever."

"Good morning, Moony!" called Sirius joyously as a door clicked open. "Come open your present."

"Well." She heard Remus hesitate. "Shouldn't we wait for Sapphire?"

"She's in the loo, and said she wouldn't be out for a while. Maybe she's having a bath or something." James' lie was presented in his usual confident tones without any uncertain pauses. Much as Sapphire hated deception, she had to admit that James, and probably Sirius too, was good at it.

"What's the 'or something' she could be doing?" wondered Peter.

"Use your imagination," James replied, still looking at Remus.

Peter, as always, complied without consideration. He envisioned Sapphire standing on the toilet singing, "The Wheels on the Bus go Round and Round" in a scratchy voice. He would have laughed, but then he remembered what a lovely and powerful singing voice she had and his fantasy faded. The Marauders can all sing well and are good at magic, and so are their girlfriends. He actually had never heard Jessie or Lily sing, but assumed they could. (Truthfully, both of them could carry a tune, though they were not precisely excellent singers.) What can I do? Someday... Someday I'll do something special.

"Okay," Remus reluctantly agreed. "But we're not opening any others without her.'

"Whatever floats your boat," said James.

"No, Prongs, it's 'whatever makes your skirt fly up," Sirius corrected.

Sapphire was about to reprimand Sirius for his sexist remark, but stopped herself. She hadn't restrained herself because it would ruin this peculiar surprise, yet because she recalled with amusement that Sirius had once worn a skirt.

Suddenly, she became aware that Remus was very near the box. It was not that she had heard him approach, but rather that she felt the closeness of his presence. The noise of the careful manner in which Remus tore off and refolded the wrapping seemed to be directly beside her ears. The process took almost five minutes and she knew that anyone who simply ripped the paper off could have done the task in less than a minute, although unlike the other Marauders, whom she could tell without having to see them were shaking with impatience, she always appreciated Remus' attention to little details. I bet that makes him a good lover, she thought. She shook herself mentally. Where did that come from? For the first time she was grateful to be inside the dark box, for no one could see her blush.

(Minerva's Note: The naughty thought had come from the "bad" part of her mind. You know how they say everyone has good and bad in them... I have a good side that makes me use pencil shavings as confetti and a bad side that causes me to drink- DUN, DUN, DUN- flavoured water!)

"It's a lovely music box, guys," Remus commented courteously. "But, it's rather big, isn't it?"

"Not at all," James cheerfully responded.

Peter urged, "Open it."

Before Sapphire had a chance to blink Remus lifted up the lid and she shot up on a spring she had not realized she'd been attached to. The tune of "Here Comes the Bride" echoed through the room from the music box. Sapphire's look of surprise was mirrored on Remus' face.

Ignoring his comrades' guffaws, Remus took out his wand and muttered, "Accio Sapphire!" She zoomed off the spring into his arms and he toppled over beneath her weight. Not that she was fat; she wasn't, however (to be blunt) she was very well-endowed, thus this caused her to be heavier than Remus' figure that was considerably frail so close to full moon. "How did you get in there?" questioned Remus, pulling himself and Sapphire to their feet. "I'm willing to bet my diary-"

"Guys have journals, not diaries," James reminded him.

"My journal," continued Remus amiably, "that it wasn't your idea to climb in."

"No," Sapphire agreed. "I just woke up in there."

Remus rounded on his friends quick as someone caught in their birthday suit and running away. "You made her wake up in darkness? She's terrified of the dark! I thought I dreamed her shouting, but I guess she really did."

"Sorry, Saphy, we didn't know," explained Sirius truthfully. "Why are you afraid of the dark anyway?"

Her normally cheerful blue eyes grew stormy. "When I was younger my dad used to do things to me in the dark."

Sirius slipped a brotherly arm around her. "What things?" he asked gently.

She knew Sirius had family problems also, so he could most likely handle it, but could James and Peter? She gazed at Remus, the only individual that knew all of her secrets, uncertainly. Once he nodded his approval she took a deep breath and replied, "He would force me to watch him eat bananas."

Harmonized gasps of sympathy erupted from James and Sirius' lips. Peter gave his girlish shriek and ran into Remus' room, where he hid underneath the covers. "Holey sheet!"

Gloria rushed in immediately, forgetting her fuzzy slippers and wand on her bedside table. "What is it?"

"The sheet has a hole in it," Peter wailed.

"Sapphire had to watch her father eat bananas in the dark," Sirius said at the same moment.

Remus' mother decided to attend to the more serious issue; she embraced Sapphire empathetically. "It's okay, I had to watch my aunt eat oranges in the dark and I turned out fine."

"Wait a minute," James remarked, and everyone could truly see the light bulb shining above his head. "How can you watch someone do anything in the dark? After all, it's...dark."

John hobbled in on his crutches. "Don't ask such obvious questions, James. Can't you see they're traumatized?"

James saw Gloria angrily brush away her tears and Sapphire lean against Remus' shoulder for comfort, choking back sobs at her painful memories. "I'm sorry," James somberly murmured.

They nodded acknowledgement as Peter came in flailing his arms and crying, "HOLEY SHEET!" at the top of his lungs.

"Don't use that kind of language in this house," John instructed sternly.

Peter held up the fabric. "But you don't understand; there really are holes, so it's a holey sheet."

"No, you don't understand," countered John. "Terms like that are never acceptable. It's holy shit, never holey sheet, just like it's damb, never darn, got it?"

Peter gave in, as he typically did so easily, and returned the sheet to the bed.

"Can we open the gifts Santa brought now?" Sirius inquired, clapping his hands together eagerly.

"You still believe in Santa?" asked Gloria, shocked.

James, Sirius, and Peter inclined their heads simultaneously.

John fidgeted uncomfortably. "Well, there are no gifts from him because, uh, we all know he's not real."

"What?!" shouted James.

Gloria patted his back reassuringly. "You're seventeen, boys. You should know the truth."

"But he is real," Peter insisted.

"They are correct, there is no Santa," stated Remus and Sapphire in business-like tones.

"Of course there is," came Sirius' stubborn reply. "Only adults think like that. If that's the way your minds work it's no wonder you are reciting poetry together already. I mean, shagging like rabbits is one thing, but reciting poetry is a big step."

Sapphire ignored the heat that filled her body at the thought of the former and said slowly and clearly as if to Crabbe or Goyle learning to count, "Listen, Santa-is-not-real."

All of a sudden the front door burst open and a very thin man in a scarlet suit with what suspiciously appeared to be a fake white beard ambled in. "Oh really, I'm not?" he asked. His voice was colder than the ice cream in the Lupin's freezer.

Peter shuddered at the sound of it. "Santa?" he uttered cautiously.

"Naturally, it's me you bloody- er, darling little boy."

James walked over and poked his skinny stomach. "Where's your jolly belly?"

The man looked into the young Marauder's hazel eyes with his own piercing crimson ones. "Ever hear of a diet?" was the cool answer.

"What diet did you go on?"

"Anorexia."

"That's a diet? I thought it was a tragic condition."

"No, it's definitely a diet."

"You're positive?"

"I'm totally certain."

"Only idiots are totally certain," James pointed out, taking off his glasses and cleaning them as if this simple action proved he possessed intelligence. In fact, both he and Sirius were intellectual; they usually preferred not to show it.

"Are you sure?" he questioned James.

"I'm totally certain." The bespectacled boy slapped himself in the forehead, realising he had shown that he was an idiot.

The man was growing tired of this game. "Look, anorexia is a diet, all right?"

"If you say so."

"Stop it!" Remus exclaimed. "That is NOT Santa! It's that psycho wizard from the Daily Prophet that's been murdering Muggles!" He was terribly anxious since his father was a Muggle.

"Silencio!" commanded the man.

Uselessly, Remus attempted to speak to his friends before sitting down, rubbing his temples and trying to think of a plan.

"Santa, you know magic?" Sirius queried in admiration. "Me too!"

"I know," he said slyly. "I came to ask if you talented seventh years wanted to join my group of, um, elves."

Peter, James, and Sirius' faces lit up with excitement.

"No!" Sapphire had tears streaming down her cheeks, yet she did not care. She lunged forward and tore the disguise off of "Santa." Voldemort's menacing form was revealed.

"You insolent bitch," he hissed, smacking Sapphire to the floor. "I would've had them."

"Where did Santa go?" gasped Peter.

Sirius' eyes flashed. "Voldemort killed Santa!"

"He must die!" declared James.

Voldemort pointed his wand at them. "None of you have anything to defend yourselves with," he taunted.

Sapphire mouthed an instruction to Remus and an instant later the werewolf was doing a split on the floor.

Voldemort clutched his crotch at the thought of doing a split and fled, threatening, "You haven't seen the last of me!"

"We'll be ready for him," said James confidently.

"But he's a Santa-killer," whispered Peter.

"Which is exactly why we need to be, and therefore will be, ready for him," Sirius concurred with James.

Peter was not convinced.

Gloria went into her bedroom and came back with her wand (She figured if she tried to earlier Voldemort would have murdered everyone.) and charmed the return of Remus' voice.

The second his speech was back Remus questioned worriedly, "Are you all right, my beautiful jewel?"

"I guess," responded Peter.

John informed, "He wasn't talking to you."

"Oh," said Peter meekly.

Sapphire touched her face where she'd been hit tentatively. The pain almost made her want to cry, but there would be no permanent damage. "I'll live," she told Remus with slight grimness.

"You were so brave," he complimented, making his pride in her evident. He leaned down to kiss her when James demanded, "Wait."

Remus let out a small exasperated sigh, his lips centimeters from Sapphire's mouth. "Why?"

"Just hold on for a minute." James ran wildly around the flat, throwing random objects out of drawers and closets. Finally, James found what he was seeking. He darted back over to the couple and held mistletoe above their heads. "Now snog."

Was that necessary? thought Remus, however, he did not ask since kissing his beloved was more important than questioning his friends peculiar behaviour at that moment.

"Can we open presents?" whined Peter.

"I don't see why not," Gloria stated.

Sirius reminded the rest of the Marauders, "We gotta sing our Christmas carol first."

"What's that?" Sapphire curiously asked.

The Marauders stood in a row and sang in harmony:

"On the first day of Christmas the Marauders of Hogwarts got a Whomping Willow tree.
On the second day of Christmas the Marauders of Hogwarts got two angry professors,
and a Whomping Willow tree.
On the third day of Christmas the Marauders of Hogwarts got three mischievious animagi,
two angry professors,
and a Whomping Willow tree."

They continued up until:

"On the twelfth day of Christmas the Marauders of Hogwarts got twelve howlers from their parents,
eleven times Lily rejected Prongs,
ten legendary prank ideas,
nine tests Wormatail failed,
eight dead Snapes,
seven of Moony's sappy love poems,
six girls Padfoot has snogged,
FIVE MILLION DETENTIONS,
four secret passages,
three mischievious animagi,
two angry professors,
and a Whomping Willow tree!"

Gloria and John laughed hysterically as they applauded.

Sapphire clapped, though, as they all bestowed great gifts like cereal crumbs upon each other, she could not help but ponder number three of the Marauders' "innocent" parody of The Twelve Days of Christmas. Could James, Sirius, and Peter have become animagi for Remus?