Legacy of the Marauders

Chapter Seven Remus' Den

"My parents said that you and Sapphire can come over for Christmas break," Remus happily informed his friends. "Isn't that great?"

"Huzzah!" They agreed ecstatically. The Marauders had spent the holidays at James and Peter's flats plenty of times (They had not been to Sirius' home for obvious reasons.) but they had not ever been to Remus' before.
"What does your house look like?" Peter asked Remus while the Marauders and Sapphire were seated in a compartment on the Hogwarts Express.

Remus shifted uncomfortably. "It is not exactly a house..."

"It's a den!" declared James.

The others looked at him strangely.

"A den is where wolves live," he explained. He sounded very proud of himself for knowing this.

"I know, James," replied Remus calmly, refraining from using the animagus nickname in Sapphire's presence. She knew that he was a lycanthrope, though she was not aware that his fellow Marauders were illegal animagi, and it was going to stay that way...or so he assumed, but we all know happens when you assume! "However, as my parents are not werewolves and they live there also, your analogy is senseless."

"Senseless things are funny," said James.

"Sometimes senseless things are just senseless," argued Sirius.

"Don't start that again!" exclaimed Peter and Remus in unison.

"Oh, damn. It's so much fun," Sirius pouted.

"Wait, back up a moment. Your mates have never been to the cottage in the woods where you live before?" Sapphire questioned her boyfriend in surprise.

"Nope."

She looked at the others. "Well, I've been there a load of times. It is very quiet and peaceful; the change of scenery would be good for you."

"I was hoping it was a den; a cottage in the forest seems so cliche," James remarked, though he actually did not care.

Sirius was very confused. "You've spent the night there? But Remus told us that you two had never been intimate."

"We haven't. It's possible for a couple to stay in the same place and not have sex."

"Really?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"How?"

"Responsibility and self control."

"I don't have any of that. Do you know where I could get some?"

Sapphire rolled her eyes.

"You'll get used to him," Remus assured her pleasantly.

"Hey, do not talk about Sirius like Sirius is not even here," said Sirius.

Sapphire inquired, "Why are you referring to yourself in the third person?"

"Sirius is speaking in third person because Remus was talking to you about Sirius while Sirius was here like he was not here, so Sirius is trying to make a point that Sirius is in fact here."

James stated, "Sirius is making a point that he suffers from insanity."

"Sirius doesn't suffer from insanity; he enjoys it! He does not enjoy having Remus talk about him."

"I didn't say anything disrespectful," Remus pointed out to Sirius.

"Sirius is highly offended! Now Sirius shall attack Remus and tickle him mercilessly." That is precisely what he did.

"Stop you idiot," laughed Remus.

"It's too entertaining; Sirius can't stop. Remember when you were tickled for two hours? Sirius thinks we should relive that."

Fortunately for Remus, the Hogwarts Express arrived at King's Cross, so they all had to get off the steam engine.

A woman with the same soft brown hair as Remus greeted them. "Hello, I'm Gloria Ann Lupin, and, yes, my initials do spell gal."

"My name is Sirius Orion Black, and, yes, my initials do spell S.O.B."

"Sob? What's that?" Peter questioned.

"Not sob; son of a bitch," corrected James.

Remus was shocked that James just swore in front of his mother, yet what his mother said next surprised him much more:

"Well, Sirius, is your mother a bitch?"

"Oh yes! The biggest one I ever met."

"Then your initials are appropriate," replied Gloria casually.

Sirius turned to Remus. "Your mum is officially cool."

Peter cocked his head in bewilderment. "Officially? How can you make it official?"

Before Sirius could answer Gloria interceded, "We need to be getting home to John."

As they ambled through the barrier and entered Mrs. Lupin's mini-van Remus asked, "How is Dad since he broke his leg?"

"He's been watching a lot of porn on T.V."

Remus' eyes widened. "Dad? Never!"

"I'm serious. He has been watching the Animal Planet channel, and you know that animals never have any clothes on."

Everyne broke into gales of laughter.

James questioned, "How did he break his leg?"

"Break dancing," answered Gloria simply.

"Couldn't you mend it with magic?"

"Yes, but because John is a Muggle he likes medical things done the Muggle way."

Soon they drove out of the suburbs and down a dirt road into the woodland. In town there had only been a dusty coating of snow, however, no plows came into the forest; therefore the snow was much deeper.

"Is all of that really snow?" gasped Peter.

"No, it's baking soda," responded James sarcastically.

"What a waste of baking soda," Peter commented.

Sapphire explained, "James was joking; the sparkly, cold, white stuff truly is snow."

Peter clapped his hands together. "Goody! I liked snow."

Sirius cheerfully suggested, "We should strip down to our skivvies and roll around in the snow."

"No!" said Remus and Sapphire instantly with slight blushes on their faces.

"What's living if you never pull your shorts down and slide on the ice?" demanded James.

"We're here," announced Gloria, ending their debate.

"Yippee!" Remus cried. "Now I can show them what a real blender is!"

Minerva's Note: James' last comment is from the television show Even Stevens.