Ewwwwww!

Chapter One

Lily Evans sighed contentedly as she paid for the boots in Shoesure. They were lovely boots; bright blue and yellow, very soft and comfortable and not made of fur. Lily had wanted the boots for ages. Her good mood was only improved by the fact that it was a very good hair day and James Potter hadn't asked her to go out with him for three whole days.

Lily hated James Potter. She hated the way he strutted around like he owned the school, she hated the way he was top in Transfiguration when he deliberately tried to lose points for Gryffindor, she hated the way he stared at her, she hated the way his hair stuck up at the back, she hated the way everyone else in the school treated him like a hero, just because he was good at Quidditch, just because they thought he was funny...

Lily wasn't sure why she hated Potter so much and not his best friend Sirius Black, as Sirius was just as bad. He went through girlfriends like people who weren't Sirius (or Snape) go through underwear, and girls still found him attractive.

Remus Lupin's nice, mused Lily. She wondered why he hung around with Potter and Black. He was intelligent, kind and thoughtful, but rather sickly, and always looked tired. Lily didn't really care for Peter Pettigrew, the fourth boy in their group. He wasn't intelligent or good looking, just annoying, and he spent most of his time sucking up to his 'friends'.

As Lily walked out of Shoesure, she examined her reflection in the window. She was wearing a black long sleeved polo neck and black tights, under a waistcoat, skirt and long boots all made of denim. She wasn't very warm though, as it was a surprisingly cold April Saturday, and she made her way into the Three Broomsticks for a Butterbeer.

Her good mood was dampened when she saw Dianne, Melissa, Naomi and Shelley all sitting together gossiping over Witch Weekly. She had used to be good friends with them, but had discovered how unlike her they were over her years at Hogwarts, and now she didn't really speak to them much.

Lily bought herself a bottle of Butterbeer and sat alone at a table in the corner. I don't care about those stupid girls, she told herself sternly, then sighed. Who am I kidding... don't I have any really good friends? She looked around. No one looked as if they would welcome her into their group of friends with open arms. She tried to cheer herself up with her new boots - and it worked. Lily loved shopping. Mum and Dad were always sending her money to buy herself something new. Lily drained the last of her Butterbeer and was about to get up and leave, when three people sat down at her table, blocking her way out.

Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin. Of course.

Well, at least Potter wasn't there.

'Excuse me,' said Lily snottily, picking up her bags and trying to get past Sirius, who simply shoved her back, grinning. 'Can I get past?'

'Nope,' said Sirius simply. He pushed her back down and ordered four Butterbeers from the barman.

'What do you want, then?' snapped Lily. Peter went to get the Butterbeers, then sat straight back down again. Remus passed the bottles around.

'Well,' sighed Sirius. 'It's a long, long story... wonder where we should begin...'

'Possibly the beginning,' said Remus, his lips twitching.

'First year,' said Peter unhelpfully.

'And what about first year?' said Lily suspiciously.

'At the Sorting!' exclaimed Sirius. 'When our hero, James Potter, first clapped eyes on you!'

'You'll be our heroine for this story,' explained Remus.

'Oh, no,' said Lily, realising what they were going to do. 'No. Nothing about Potter.'

'But it's all about James!' said Peter. 'And you.'

'What have I got to do with James Potter?' snarled Lily.

'Well, it could be the fact that he's madly in love with you - or maybe you both have the same kind of foot fungus,' said Sirius, shrugging. 'What do I know about love? Hmm - a great deal, actually.'

'Well, on with the story,' said Peter.

'Ah, yes,' said Remus. 'Well, according to Sirius, as soon as James "clapped eyes" on you, it was love at first sight. For him, anyway.'

'Are you trying to tell me that Potter is in love with me?' snorted Lily.. 'Because that can't be true. Love is far too strong a word.'

'Well, how about affection, adoration, worshipping, devotion, caring, fancying, liking-like-that... oh, who cares?' Sirius shrugged. 'It's l'amour, baby. Don't try to deny it.'

'I don't care whether he hates me or he's head over heels!' snapped Lily.. 'I can't stand him!'

'Listen, Lily,' said Remus. 'Give him a chance. Will you go out with him - just once? If you don't like it, you can dump him - believe me, he won't dump you - and - and... one of us will take the blame if you ever do something wrong. I mean, at Hogwarts. You pelt Snape with Dungbombs, we'll say we did it. Well, the teachers'll probably think it was us anyway... but seriously. No more detentions for you! If you do like it - carry on going out with him - and we'll still take the blame for anything you do. You'll have the world's cleanest record! I'm serious, Lily, just give him a try. He'd die for you.'

Lily was speechless, but luckily, Sirius wasn't. He filled up the conversation gap without a problem.

'And maybe you'll get married, and have a freaky black-haired green-eyed daughter with specs and really messy hair. You could call her Jilly!'

'Don't put her off, Padfoot,' sniggered Remus. He turned to Lily. 'Just one date?'

'Ugh!' said Lily. 'If it stops you nagging me, all right! Now promise me you'll take the blame for whatever I choose to do wrong after this. I'm doing you a huge favour, and I doubt you'll every be able repay me fully.'

'We promise,' said Sirius, sticking out his hand.

'Ok,' said Lily, shaking hands and regretting what she had said immediately. 'Well - arrange a time with him or something and tell me. Make it quick.' She finished her Butterbeer and made to leave. 'Sirius, move!'

'We've got a time,' he said brightly. 'No time like the present!'

'What?'

'Right now, he's in Zonko's,' explained Remus. 'He has no idea we're doing this - he's just meant to be meeting us here, in - oh, two minutes?'

'So he wasn't behind this?' spluttered Lily.

'Nope,' said Sirius cheerfully. 'We just thought we'd give his love life a leg-up, since it's been going so dismally.'

'But - but -' Lily tried to find an excuse. 'What about my shopping?' she finished lamely, gesturing to her bags.

'We'll owl it up to your dormitory,' said Remus. 'We'll pay, don't worry..'

'You were really desperate for me to say yes to this, weren't you?' said Lily in wonder.

'James has been acting like a complete wet blanket,' shrugged Sirius.

'Oh, here he is now!' said Peter, pointing to the door. True enough, James Potter was walking over to their table with his head down, pockets bulging with Dungbombs.

'Jamesy!' said Sirius brightly. 'Look who your new girlfriend is!' Potter looked up a fraction. When he caught sight of Lily elation filled every inch of his face.

'What? What d'you mean, my new girlfriend?'

'She's going to go out on a date with you,' said Sirius smugly. 'Just one - unless she has fun, that is.'

'Then you can go out again!' said Peter enthusiastically.

'And get married,' added Remus.

'And have a freaky black-haired green-eyed daughter -' began Sirius, his eyes gleaming. Both Lily and Potter were bright red.

'Shut up, Sirius,' said Potter. Then his face became suspicious. 'Are you lot making her do this?' He turned to Lily. 'Did they threaten you? Did they say they'd hex you or something? Blackmail? If they did, you can call it off -'

'No, they didn't threaten me,' said Lily. 'They just used bribery and guilt.'

'Oh, that's all right, then,' said Potter, his frown clearing. Lily rolled her eyes.

'Well, off the two lovebirds go, then,' said Remus. Sirius winked.

'Leave your bags here,' Peter reminded them. 'We'll owl them back up to Hogwarts.'

'Hogwarts!' Sirius sounded pleased. 'So we're at Hogwarts, now? Where do they keep the meerkats?' As Remus solemnly replied, 'In the Slytherin dormitories' Lily decided it was time to leave. She climbed over Remus and Peter and marched out. Potter bounded after her.

'So where to first, Lily? I'm paying.'

'Is there a shop that sells Time Turners?' said Lily coldly. 'I want to get this over and done with.'

'We could go to the jewellery shop,' suggested Potter. 'I could buy you a watch.'

Lily stared at him.

'Why on earth would you waste money buying me a watch when I'm only going out with you today?'

'I'll buy you whatever you want,' shrugged Potter. 'I'm rich and spoilt - I remember you telling me that on Tuesday.'

'Right,' said Lily uncertainly. 'Ok, Potter. So where d'you want to go?'

'Please,' said Potter, bowing. 'Call me James. Potter is so... formal.'

'I'll call you whatever I want,' retorted Lily.

'Ok, ok,' Potter grinned. 'So, anything you need? Clothes, books, brooms....'

'Well,' Lily pondered. 'The only thing I really need is a set of new dress robes for the Leavers' Ball, because my old ones are a foot too short. But I'm buying them myself, they're far too expensive for someone else to buy.'

Potter snorted.

'I'll buy 'em!'

'No, that's not fair!' said Lily fiercely. 'You can't buy my robes! I'll buy them, when I've got the cash!'

'You have the cash,' said Potter simply, tipping about thirty Galleons into her open palms. Lily stared at him.

'Do you think I'm poor, Potter?' she narrowed her eyes.

'No,' said Potter. 'Why?'

'I'm not taking charity off you.'

'I'm not trying to give you charity,' said Potter, looking exasperated. 'I'm going to buy you a present, and possibly your friendship, as no other way seems to have worked.'

'What?' Lily was almost speechless (almost, but not quite). 'You think that if you buy me enough, then I'll - what kind of - I'd never -'

'Or maybe I was wrong,' Potter shrugged. 'Look, Lily Evans, I will buy you something - simply because I like buying other people things. Not because I feel sorry for them.'

'Well - if you insist, you can buy me a new quill,' muttered Lily, thrusting the gold back to him.

'Excellent!' Potter beamed. He led her into a small alleyway and an old looking shop with peeling burgundy paint. Faded gold letters read Quentin's Quality Quills.

'What kind of quill would you like?' said Potter happily, examining a display of peacock feathers. 'These are only thirty Galleons.'

'Thirty Galleons?' Lily said in astonishment. 'In Scrivenshaft's they're about twelve Sickles!'

'Well, if you want the cheap option, you can get miniature sparrow feather quills for three Galleons. But they're only three inches long. Or we could just go to Honeydukes and get sugar quills - or the new ones they've got in at Zonko's. Quills-that-look-like-sugar-quills-but-aren't-so-you-can-suck-them-and-when-your-teacher-confiscates-them-they-won't-be-able-to-prove-you-were-eating-in-class-because-you-weren't.'

'How very pointless,' snorted Lily.

'Yes,' beamed Potter. 'They are, rather, aren't they? I'm going to get some for Sirius.'

'When's his birthday?' asked Lily curiously.

'Seventh of December,' said Potter carelessly.

'But -'

'Look, I told you, I like buying people stuff,' explained Potter. 'I buy Sirius, Remus and Peter something about once a month. And I must've spent a million Galleons on deodorant and shampoo for Snape.'

Lily felt a tiny smile creep on to her face in spite of herself.

'So all those huge presents I've had every Valentine's Day, birthday, Christmas and Easter for the past six years...'

'Were from me,' Potter grinned, and Lily grinned back for some reason, feeling oddly at ease with him.

'Right,' said Lily. 'Well. Thanks.'

'No probs,' said Potter, looking pleased. 'So, where shall we go now, Your Highness?'

'Well, I really need the loo,' Lily said honestly.

'All right, then,' said Potter. 'We'll go up to the Shrieking Shack, there are loads of bushes there...'

Lily scowled to hide her smile and marched off to Madam Puddifoot's to use the toilets in there, trying not to laugh. She wouldn't laugh - she couldn't laugh. Lily was not going to laugh at something Potter said.

However, she did laugh as soon as she was safe in the soundproof powder room. The situation was just too absurd. She remembered her fifth year, when she had told him she'd rather go out with the giant squid than with him.... and here she was.

When she left the loos she found Potter sitting at a table with two thick slices of chocolate cake in front of him, and two tall chocolate milkshakes. She sat down opposite him and gave him a Look.

'Oh, sorry, did you want anything?' he said.

Lily actually let herself laugh.

They spent the rest of the day wandering around Hogsmeade, amazingly, having a very good time. Lily persuaded Potter not to buy her a pair of diamond earrings, but she couldn't prevent him from giving her a huge box of chocolate frogs. He also bought some of the useless quills for Sirius, a heavy book on Defence Against the Dark Arts for Remus and a new radio for Peter ('Last time he got the booby prize,' explained Potter. 'The Invisible Book of Invisibility.'). The only thing he bought for himself was an eyepatch, for reasons best known to himself.

As the sun set and the day ended, they did go up to the Shrieking Shack. They sat down on the grass, the wind tangling their hair.

'I wonder why it shrieks,' said Lily softly. 'If you ask anyone at Hogsmeade they say it's ghosts or something... but sometimes I sit late into the night and listen. I can hear it all the way from my dormitory. It sounds like someone in great pain... someone wild, though. But not just one animal.... something else, too, something equally wild... what do you think's in there?'

'Me?' said Potter, in the 'innocent' tone of voice he used on McGonagall.. 'Me, why should I know? Haven't the foggiest.'

'You do know, don't you?' said Lily sharply, looking at him. 'You say that to teachers when they know you're guilty of something.'

'Yeah, I know,' said Potter quietly. 'So do Remus, Sirius and Peter. Oh, and Sniv - Snape. But the teachers all know too, we're not doing anything wrong.'

'Ok,' said Lily suspiciously. She turned and picked a dandelion and blew the seeds away in the wind. It was a natural reaction for her to make a wish. 'I wish this date has a purpose. I wish something good, something really good will come of it. Something to make me really happy.'

She turned to see Potter gazing at her.

'What?' she said. 'Don't you ma-'

'You're so beautiful,' Potter said softly, staring into her large eyes. Lily went bright red and picked at the blades of grass brushing her legs.

'Oh. Right. Well,' she said awkwardly. 'Er... no. I'm not, actually.'

'Yup,' said Potter, gazing at her. 'You definitely are.'

'No, I'm really, really not,' said Lily, embarrassed.

'You are,' sang Potter, shredding a blade of grass but not taking his eyes off her.

'I'm not,' Lily sang back.

'You are,' said Potter. His tone was so final that Lily didn't argue.

'Thanks,' she muttered, staring at her boots. She had used to argue with Petunia about this. She had always wanted to look like her tall, blonde sister. But Petunia wanted to be short and redheaded like Lily. They hadn't had this play argument since before Lily's Hogwarts letter.

Lily turned to Potter, who had somehow managed to inch a foot or so closer while she had been staring at her shoes, without her noticing. He grinned innocently.

'Hey, Lily, can I kiss you?'

'What?' Lily spluttered. 'Can you k- why on earth would you want to - and why did you ask? It's you!'

'Well,' Potter shrugged. 'I couldn't think of anything to talk about, and I've always wanted to see how you are at tonsil tennis. Besides, asking was the polite thing to do. I thought I'd forewarn you, you see. That shows how much I like and respect you. Most girls I'd just attack.'

'No, you can not play "tonsil tennis" with me,' snapped Lily. She glared at him, and then stared away down the hill into Hogsmeade. How dare he ask?

She heard a yawn, and then an arm wrapped itself around her shoulders. Lily glared at Potter again, but he was staring resolutely off into the distance. She wriggled and squirmed to get out of his grip but he refused to let go. She was on the verge of punching him when he jerked suddenly and rolled over so he was on top of her.

'Can I kiss you?' he said again.

'No!'

'Please?'

'No!'

'Pretty please with a cherry -'

'No!'

Lily was struggling to let go, kicking and clawing at Potter with all her might, but he was holding her wrists down and ignoring the numerous kicks she was bestowing upon his backside.

'Just one?'

'No!'

'One little tiny -'

'NO!'

'You're just chicken,' he said critically. 'You've not done this before, have you? Are you scared you'll mess up?'

'No!' said Lily angrily. 'Firstly, I don't want to kiss you. Secondly, I didn't want to come on this date with you. Thirdly, I don't even like you. Fourthly, I know that even if I did, you'd just go reporting back to Sirius to tell him. I heard you going on about kissing that Tracey Malone girl to him - I'm not going to turn into a piece of gossip.'

'Look, Lily,' said Potter patiently. 'I'm not going to move till I've kissed you. We could stay here for ages, I know ways back into the castle that no one else does, apart from Sirius, Remus and Peter. Even Filch doesn't know. So - either you consent, and I swear on my own dignity not to breathe a word of it to anyone - or I just kiss you anyway and tell whoever I want.'

'You're such a bastard!' said Lily desperately.

'Ten seconds to say yes,' murmured Potter.

'Look,' said Lily urgently. 'We can work this out. I'll go on another date with you. I'll... I'll let you buy me dress robes for the ball. Oh, I'll even go with you to the ball if you'd only -'

'Two seconds,' murmured Potter.

'Oh, all right!' Lily shouted. 'But just... be quick.'

Looking as if Christmas had come early, Potter bent closer down. Lily shut her mouth tightly and screwed up her eyes... this was going to be bad...

She then felt the pressure of something oddly soft on her mouth; something wet teasing her lips open... now Potter's tongue was inside her mouth. EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! Lily wanted to bite down on it, wanted to kick and punch him, wanted to do anything just to get him off her...

Or did she?

She had stopped fighting him off so hard, her eyes weren't screwed up so tightly... now she wasn't moving at all, just lying down on the grass, letting him kiss her. Lily was absolutely disgusted with herself, but she found that she was actually enjoying it. Potter obviously knew his trade... well, he'd had a lot of practice... but this was the oddest thing Lily had ever felt, this was some kind of magic without wands. She was tingling from head to toe without electricity, but it felt like she had been plugged in to something that kept shocking her every second... but she wasn't going to let Potter know this. She wasn't going to respond, wasn't going to kiss him back, she was just going to lie there knowing this could finish any second now, never to happen again, just because she was too proud to admit there was something there... she would just live her life out in some dull, dreary marriage, remembering this moment for ever.

When Potter pulled away she only just managed to quell a soft whimper from escaping her mouth. Lily opened her eyes a fraction to see him grinning down at her smugly.

'Well,' he said. 'I had fun, and you weren't even kissing back, so I'd love to try it when you are.'

'Shut up, you pig,' Lily said on reflex. 'I never want to see you again.' She cringed inwardly. No more kisses for her.

'Shame,' shrugged Potter, 'as you promised to go out with me again, go to the ball with me, and let me buy your dress robes for it.'

'What?' said Lily. 'That was only if you didn't kiss me. And well, look what you just did!'

'Yeah, but you didn't say that, did you?' said Potter smugly. 'Just said you'd do it. And that's fine with me.'

'That's so unfair!' said Lily crossly.

'Well, as I'm a fair sort of bloke, I'll let you call one of them off,' said Potter.

'You're not buying my dress robes for me,' said Lily, then instantly regretted it. 'Oh no, I take that back!'

'Ok,' Potter grinned. 'I'll buy 'em for you then. But it's too late; now you have to do all three.'

'Oh, all right,' groaned Lily. 'But no more kisses. That was foul..'

'Was it really?' said Potter. 'You really didn't like it?' His tone of voice suggested that he knew better. Lily scowled.

'No, I didn't,' she said, snorting. 'And I don't intend to do it again. Once we've been to the Leavers' Ball and had another date, that's it. We'll leave school and probably never see each other again.'

'Right-o,' said Potter, grinning. 'We'd better get back to school. Next Hogsmeade trip we can buy your dress robes.'