What's MY Heart's Desire?!

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"What do you see in the Mirror, Ron?" Hermione asked him, as he was staring transfixed.

"Ohh...I see me as head boy! Yes...that's it...and I've won the World Cup! Harry, what do you see?" said Ron, lying through his teeth.

"I see my family. I wonder if Dumbledore really saw socks?" Harry muttered, wonderingly.

"Well, I highly doubt it! And I see me, as Head Girl!" Hermione said proudly.

"Look, you guys, we better get to class."

"Yeah. Okay." And the three departed.

UGH. Finally, finally, they leave. I hate my job...you wouldn't BELIEVE some peoples hearts desires. They deserve to be institutionalized! I'm THE Mirror of Erised, after all!

Starting with the tall redhead. Do you know what he saw? 'Course ya don't, because you aren't special enough to be a one-of-a-kind mirror. Well, the boy -- Ron, was his name? -- saw something all the men out there would be glad to hear about. Can we say bling-bling? Mmmhmm! But you'd think he could AT LEAST use it well! You know, maybe buying some swimming pools, mansions, etc. NOOO, NOO. Instead, picture a lanky teenager, in a suit made of money that barely covers his ankles. *shakes head sadly*

It gets worse. The black haired, green-eyed one? Combs. You heard me...combs! THAT was his heart's desire! My job gets worse and worse every year!

Hermione -- the girl...her heart's desire was arguably the most interesting. Close your eyes and picture this from the point of view of Hermione. A sunny beach. Waves gently splashing against the shore. And you're checking out the members of the opposite sex, when suddenly, up walks a tall, redheaded, freckle faced boy, wearing... a leather Speedo. Gag me, please!

Has anyone ever asked ME what my heart's desire is? Has anyone put up with the disgusting, stupid visions I have to see? Has anyone so much as gave me a little WINDEX? NO! Well, I'll tell you what MY heart's desi-

"Oh, look, a mirror! Why don't I just admire my beautiful little face," Severus Snape said with a sickening grin. "Oh, my! I see my lovely face ... but ... what's wrong with my hair? Why is it so... UN-greasy? Wait... I'm on a... on a COMMERCIAL! For ANTI-HAIR GREASE?!??? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" And Mr. Severus Snape, Potions Master Extrordinaire, ran out of the room, pulling at his beautiful hair.

*blinks* Gag me.

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