- Rating:
- G
- House:
- Riddikulus
- Genres:
- Humor
- Era:
- Multiple Eras
- Spoilers:
- Prizoner of Azkaban
- Stats:
-
Published: 09/28/2001Updated: 09/28/2001Words: 246Chapters: 1Hits: 816
Odor Away
METMA Mandy
- Story Summary:
- Subtitled "The Poor Sneakoscope That Died." Anyway, it's from the point of view of the Sneakascope that was imprisoned in Uncle Vernon's sock!
- Chapter Summary:
- Subtitled "The Poor Sneakascope That Died" Anywayz, its from the point of view of the Sneakascope that was imprisoned in Uncle Vernon's sock!
- Posted:
- 09/28/2001
- Hits:
- 816
- Author's Note:
- Ah, the Sneakoscope. You know, the one that has been living in Vernon Dursley's old socks? From the 3rd book? Anyhoo, this fic is from his point of view! :)
***
I tried to help him. I really did! I screamed my head off, trying to signal to the dumb boy that something screwy was going on. REALLY!! A lot of pocket Sneakoscope just laze around, not doing their job, sneaking looks at Playboys that are just *hanging* around, but I really tried. Honestly! But no, Sir deaf-mute ignored me. Just looked at me disgustedly and stuffed me into the yellow, moldy, socks. And then everything went black.
I'm disgusting? Who if not a PIG would have such dreadful items of clothing in his possession?! Dear GOD, man, had the socks NEVER been washed? I've been in pockets crawling with bacteria, teeming with filth, ROLLING in dirt ... but it was nothing compared to the foot fungus in that sock.
Fungus. Ha! It might well be called zyknoiw, because it was NOTHING of this world. Egyptians are known for their ... ah ... less than clean lifestyles, but "Mr." Dursley put Vernon Dursley thought Mr. Potter was odd; Ah, what a laugh. Compared to this rancid sock, PotHead's SBD farts were like sweet perfume.
Goodness...getting a little lightheaded again...*blacks out*
Narrator Type Person: Ten months later....
...OderAway works on all types of odors! Pet, cigarette, and even *shudder* foot fungus! And if you order two cases of OderAway now, you'll get this free sponge, signed by me, Mr. Sneakoscope! So call today, and make that Odor go Away! *grins, showing off his polished red buzzer*
***
I tried to help him. I really did! I screamed my head off, trying to signal to the dumb boy that something screwy was going on. REALLY!! A lot of pocket Sneakoscope just laze around, not doing their job, sneaking looks at Playboys that are just *hanging* around, but I really tried. Honestly! But no, Sir deaf-mute ignored me. Just looked at me disgustedly and stuffed me into the yellow, moldy, socks. And then everything went black.
I'm disgusting? Who if not a PIG would have such dreadful items of clothing in his possession?! Dear GOD, man, had the socks NEVER been washed? I've been in pockets crawling with bacteria, teeming with filth, ROLLING in dirt ... but it was nothing compared to the foot fungus in that sock.
Fungus. Ha! It might well be called zyknoiw, because it was NOTHING of this world. Egyptians are known for their ... ah ... less than clean lifestyles, but "Mr." Dursley put Vernon Dursley thought Mr. Potter was odd; Ah, what a laugh. Compared to this rancid sock, PotHead's SBD farts were like sweet perfume.
Goodness...getting a little lightheaded again...*blacks out*
Narrator Type Person: Ten months later....
...OderAway works on all types of odors! Pet, cigarette, and even *shudder* foot fungus! And if you order two cases of OderAway now, you'll get this free sponge, signed by me, Mr. Sneakoscope! So call today, and make that Odor go Away! *grins, showing off his polished red buzzer*
***
Author notes: Get it? He created an odor killer? LOL! He's not doing too bad for himself, eh? (Can you imagine living in such an awful place?) Viva la METMA!