Evil Twins

"You WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Voldemort. "I don't believe you! Where is that damn stone?!!"

"I told you already, I swallowed it," snapped Megan. "Believe what you want, but that damn stone is probably halfway to my stomach by now, or maybe even all the way to my stomach. If you want proof, tell one of your goons to get an x-ray."

Megan and Lisa cackled hysterically. Hermione sat up, yawned, and blinked a couple times.

"What'd I miss?" she said sleepily.

"Well, Megan's swallowed the stone of Immortal Horror, and now Voldemort's really pissed off," said Lisa, still laughing.

Harry looked apprehensively at Voldemort, who was indeed looking really pissed off. His wand was out and pointing at them, his eyes were narrowed till they were threadlike slits, and his mouth was curling.

"You foolish, ignorant little........" he seemed at a loss for a fitting word.

"Prat? Twit?" prompted Megan gleefully. "Annoyance? Moron? Come on, you've gotta pick one, I don't have all day. Or night, I guess. What's wrong, is your vocabulary so small that you can't even think of something to call me?"

"SHUT UP!" yelled Voldemort. "I will get that stone, even if I have to cut your stomach open!"

"Oh, I don't think you'll have to do that," said Lisa calmly. "Just give her an emetic and the thing'll be out before the cows come home, I assure you."

Voldemort raised his wand.

"Avada--"

"Expelliarmus!" came a shout from behind Voldemort. There was a flash of red light and Voldemort was knocked forward flat on his face. Dumbledore was standing there, wand out, Ron behind him.

"I challenge you to a duel, Voldemort!" bellowed Dumbledore.

"Challenge accepted, Dumbledore," snarled Voldemort, scrambling to his feet.

"Wands only, and Minerva here--" he moved aside to reveal Professor McGonagall standing behind him-- "will be my second, "said Dumbledore, eyes blazing.

"Agreed. Macnair! You will be my second," said Voldemort, and one of the masked Death Eaters stepped away from the cage and stood beside Voldemort.

They backed away from each other until they were a fair distance apart. They bowed to each other and raised their wands.

"Avada--" began Voldemort, but Dumbledore was quicker. He swished his wand through the air and muttered something. There was a bang, a puff of smoke, and Voldemort disappeared. In the place where he had been standing was a white ferret.

Megan, Lisa, Hermione, Ron and Harry burst into laughter. The Death Eaters began muttering angrily and Malfoy actually giggled.

The Volde-ferret raised it's wand and squeaked. Dumbledore turned into a rabbit with a flowing beard. The Death Eaters laughed. McGonagall ran over and snatched the wand out of the ferret's paws. But a Death Eater ran up and knocked it out of her hand, sending it flying through the air. It hurtled through the bars of the cage and landed in Harry's lap.

"Harry," called McGonagall, struggling with the Death Eater, "Harry, stun the ferret! "

"I can't!" yelled Harry. "I don't know how!"

"Just do something! Anything!" shouted McGonagall.

Harry picked up the wand and pointed it at the ferret.

"Stupefy!" he yelled. There was a flash of light and the ferret gave a high-pitched squeak before lying limp on the stone floor. Dumbledore, having been restored to his original form by McGonagall, snatched up the ferret and placed it in a cage he had conjured up. The Death Eaters shrieked angrily and disappeared.

"And cut!!!" shouted a voice. Dumbledore, McGonagall, Malfoy, and the cage disappeared. Megan, Lisa, and Hermione stood up and stretched. Fred and George emerged from the shadows holding video cameras.

"That was perfect, all," said George.

"Simply superb, Harry, old chap," said Fred.

"You were way off the script the whole time, but what you said was better, I'm impressed," said Megan, patting Harry on the back.

"Lovely performance, Harry, I think you'll be getting a raise soon," said Lisa, dropping a bag of Galleons onto Harry's lap.

"Are you sure we're not getting in trouble for this?" asked Hermione anxiously.

"Sure I'm sure," said Lisa, tossing Hermione and Ron a bag of Galleons each. "I told you, no one will mind if we make a movie here. Besides, who's to hear us? I've soundproofed this area, Hermione, no one's gonna---"

"Er---excuse me--" Harry stammered, very confused, "but what the hell is going on?"

Everyone stopped talking and stared at Harry.

"What do you mean?" asked Lisa.

"What just happened? I'm confused. Wasn't there just a wizard duel going on a few seconds ago?"

Six mouths dropped.

"No one told him, " muttered Fred.

"No one told you?" gasped Lisa. "But--but--Hermione was supposed to tell you ages ago!"

"I told Ron to tell you as soon as we got the idea!" said Megan.

"I thought Hermione told him!" protested Ron.

"I thought Ron told him!" shrieked Hermione.

"Well, why didn't one of you tell him?" yelled George at Megan.

"Why didn't one of you tell him?" she screamed back.

"TELL ME WHAT?" shouted Harry.

"None of that--just now--was real, Harry. The whole thing about Voldemort and the Immortal Horror stone, and the Sorcerer's stones, it was all fake. It's a movie we've been making, I can't believe nobody told you," said Fred, although his smirk said he did believe it.

"How could you think that was real?! Hermione is the worst actress I've ever seen!" said Ron. Hermione slapped him.

"It was a movie?" said Harry blankly. "But--but--why...why didn't you use sets and scripts and why didn't you shoot different scenes at different times and why did it all seem so real?"

"Well, we wanted to make it seem as real as possible, so we filmed as we went along," said Megan. "It was Fred and George's idea, they said you knew all about it."

Everyone turned and looked at Fred and George, who threw up their hands.

"Okay, so we said Harry knew about it and he didn't," admitted George. "So what? We wanted his acting to be real , and it was. You aren't mad, are you, Harry?"

Everyone looked at Harry anxiously.

"Er, I'm not really sure," said Harry dazedly. "I don't know what I'm supposed to be. I've never heard how you're supposed to react in a situation like this. How could I have thought it was all real? I should have known this was one of your tricks, Fred and George. That was bloody awful, you two."

"We know, we're sorry, old boy. And it wasn't, as miss orange claims, all our idea. She was the one who said we should put that whole deal with Voldemort and the ferret and the rabbit in there," said Fred.

"Oh, big whoop," snapped Lisa. "The movie was your idea, and I wouldn't be surprised if Harry files a lawsuit against all of us, "she joked.

"I'm really sorry, Harry," said Megan sincerely. "I didn't think this would happen."

"Hey, that's alright," said Harry, making up his mind. "You thought I knew. But from now on, can you please tell me beforehand that I'm starring in a movie?"

"This is totally ridiculous," said Hermione irritably. "If no one minds, or even if you do, I'm going to bed."

"Me too," yawned Megan. "We can edit the film in the morning."

They all walked sleepily in the direction of the Gryffindor common room. Harry, though still immensely surprised, was on the whole quite relieved. Voldemort wasn't anywhere near, he wasn't about to die, and he had a large sack of Galleons.

"What is everyone going to be at the Halloween ball?" asked Lisa suddenly.

"Morgana," said Hermione.

"A carrot," said Fred and George.

"One of the Chudley Cannons," said Ron.

"A demon," said Megan.

"A Cornish pixie," said Lisa.

"Er," said Harry. "There's a Halloween ball? I didn't know that."

"Fourth years and up," nodded Hermione. "Weren't you listening when McGonagall told us about it?"

"No."

"Who is everyone going with?" asked Lisa.

"Katie," said George.

"Mandy," said Fred.

"Ron," said Hermione.

"Hermione," said Ron.

"No one, yet," said Megan.

"It's a secret," said Lisa.

"Er," said Harry. "Do we have to have a partner?"

"Well--" began Hermione, but stopped as they rounded a corner and bumped into someone.

"Hullo, Malfag," smiled Megan.

"Ha, ha," said Malfoy sarcastically. "Extremely amusing. The funniest joke I've heard since yesterday."

"What are you doing running about at this hour?" demanded Lisa, mimicking McGonagall.

"I might ask you that same question, Drew, but I won't, seeing as I don't really care. Please remove yourself from my way."

"No," said Lisa lazily, stretching her arms and yawning. Malfoy rolled his eyes and pushed past them. As he hurried away, a piece of parchment slipped out of his robe pocket and fluttered to the ground. Ron picked it up and read it aloud.

" 'Dear Draco,

Guess what? I've been expelled from Beauxbatons! No, I didn't kill anyone, and I haven't done anything illegal. It wasn't even my fault that I got expelled, but it's a long story that I don't really want to tell you right now. Anyway, now that I've been expelled, Mum thinks I should go to Hogwarts! Dad doesn't want me to, of course, but maybe if you talked to him........I know you're shaking your head now, Draco, so stop. I wanted to go to Hogwarts ever so much, but Dad said at least one of us had to go somewhere else, so I had to go to sleepy old Beauxbatons, and now that I have a chance to go to Hogwarts, will you please help me? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease? Come on, be the good big brother I know you are, and convince Dad to let me come. I won't embarrass you or anything, I promise. Most likely I won't even be in the same house as you. I really miss you, Draco. You have no idea how boring it is here. I'm confused half the time because I don't speak french. Pleeeeeeease talk to Dad, if you do I'll buy you a month's worth of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans...............please send me an owl, I love getting mail. I have to go, Draco, I'll talk to you later, okay? Hugs and kisses from

Elen .' "

Harry's mouth had dropped.

"Malfoy has a sister?"

To Be continued...........................

A/N: Not quite what you expected, eh? Sorry about that..............this chapter was written rather hurriedly, and I'm used to writing whatever comes into my head. REVIEW!!!!!!