Cho Chang/Harry Potter Other Canon Wizard/Harry Potter Ginny Weasley/Harry Potter Harry Potter/Hermione Granger Harry Potter/Pansy Parkinson
Harry Potter
Parody Mystery
Multiple Eras
Published: 05/06/2003
Updated: 05/06/2003
Words: 2,841
Chapters: 1
Hits: 3,270

Do It With A Mystery


Story Summary:
Everyone loves Harry Potter. Everyone wants to kiss Harry Potter. Everyone wants to do Harry Potter. But what's Harry's opinion of all this. Who does Harry Potter love? Who does Harry Potter want to kiss? Who does Harry Potter want to do? Features the brilliant parings of; Harry/?????, Harry/Cho, Harry/Pansy, Harry/Ginny and Harry/Hermione.``*Warning* Features Harry Singing (shock Horror)

Chapter Summary:
Everyone loves Harry Potter. Everyone wants to kiss Harry Potter. Everyone wants to do Harry Potter. But what's Harry's opinion of all this. Who does Harry Potter love? Who does Harry Potter want to kiss? Who does Harry Potter want to do? Features the brilliant parings of; Harry/?????, Harry/Cho, Harry/Pansy, Harry/Ginny and Harry/Hermione.
Author's Note:
Hey everyones,

  • Do It With A Mystery

*~Friday Night~*

"Who's there," Cho Chang called into the deep surrounding darkness. She had come outside to be alone, and think about life without her precious Cedric. Cedric was her life, and then he was taken from her. She felt like someone had taken a huge chunk out of her heart and crushed it.

"It's only me Cho, Baby," a deep, sexy voice replied.

'Maybe It's Cedric!' Cho thought to herself. But the delicious figure of Harry Potter appeared in front of her.

"Harry," Cho exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here for you, Baby!" Harry growled, sweeping Cho off her delicate feet.

"Oh, Harry," Cho cried, her voice full of lust. Cho couldn't stand it anymore; she slammed her lips against Harry's perfect, soft, luscious ones. A low moan rumbled from his throat.

    • Cho felt her fingers roam over Harry's firm, muscular body. He seemed to enjoy it so much, she decided to go further down towards his pants...

Cho awoke, her chest rising and falling quickly. It was a dream! Why was she dreaming like that about Harry. Harry!

Harry was the one who destroyed her precious Cedric, but he was so cute, and dreamy, and oh so muscly.

'I know, I'll write Harry a letter telling him to meet me up at the Astronomy Tower at 10:30 tomorrow night,' she thought to herself. 'At least he had a crush on me, maybe he still does...'


Pansy Parkinson was draped over the largest forest green couch in the Slytherin common room, wearing a luscious purple corset. Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle, the two ugliest, and by far the dumbest, guys in Slytherin, had annoyingly decided to lumber over to where she was sitting.

"Uh Pansy?" they mumbled together in low droning voices. "We reckon you're really sexy..."

"Continue." Pansy really liked compliments but she didn't get many from people.

"Can we..." Crabbe continued. "Can we please have a threesome with you?"

Pansy was about to shout 'No!' in disgust, but someone did it for her.

"No," the voice shouted. "She's mine!"

Then, the famous Harry Potter swept her off the couch and snogged her ferociously. Pansy, wrapping her arms around his neck, let out a deep moan, while Harry tried to untie her corset.

"Go away, idiots," Pansy shrieked at the perverted Crabbe and Goyle. "I'm taken!"

They lumbered upstairs to find something else to do.

"Oh, Harry!" Pansy moaned pulling down Harry's pants to reveal maroon coloured boxers...

"Oh my!" Pansy said as she slammed into the ground. Where had Harry gone? Pansy looked around and found that she was in her bedroom.

'It was all a dream!' Pansy thought to herself. But it seemed so real, so perfect.

Pansy whipped out her journal (which she had dubbed The Honorable Lady Posy), looked at her watch and began to write.

Dear Posy

At 2:46 in the morning, I had a brilliant dream about Harry Potter. I have to have him, Posy, I have to steal him away from his stupid Mudblood girlfriend.

Right, new plan. Instead of trying to impress Draco, I'll turn all my graceful charm to impress Harry. Once he sees how beautiful and brilliant I am, he'll realise he's in love with me.

From Your Best Friend, Pansy

'Perfect plan Parkinson,' Pansy thought to herself. 'I know, I'll write Harry a letter telling him to meet me up at the Astronomy Tower at 10:30 tomorrow night.' Pansy quickly wrote the letter before she hopped into bed to dream about Harry again.


Harry James Potter sat with his arms wrapped around his lover.

"Do you think we should tell anyone about us yet?" Harry asked trailing his hands down the slim waist in front of him.

"Harry," Harry felt the his lover's body shift out of his arms, and he was staring into two beautiful eyes. "I want to find a way that we could tell the whole school at once. I don't want people to find out by accident."

Harry pondered to himself as his watch beeped. It was three am.

"We should go now," *he mumbled, kissing the beautiful face in front of him, wishing it could last forever.

As he reached the door, Harry spun around to face his love.

"I have an idea..."


Ginny Weasly was cooking a roast meal for her mother's forty-sixth birthday. As the delicious scent filled the kitchen, someone knocked on the door.

'Oh God,' she thought to herself. 'I told mum I could cook this thing by myself!'

Ginny removed her oven mitts and stormed over to the front door.

"Mother," she shouted, opening the front door of the Burrow. "I told you I can cook the roast myself!"

But it wasn't her mother. It was Harry.

"I bet you did" Harry joked, inviting himself inside.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Harry," Ginny mumbled, putting the oven mitts back on. "I thought you were mum."

Ginny opened the oven and pulled out the roast, perfect as always; nearly as perfect as Harry's firm chest. As she put the large roast on top of the cooling rack, she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her waist. A pair of soft lips caressing the back of her neck.

"Oh, Harry," she moaned. "Don't stop, never stop!"

"Oh, Ginny" Harry moaned in reply. "I won't stop, I'll never stop!"

Harry slammed Ginny on top of the small kitchen table. She felt his Quidditch firmed hands roam her body. Slowly, he teasingly unbuttoned her favorite top as her slim hands unzipped his black jeans and delved into his underwear...

"Ginny," a soft, feminine voice woke her.

"Wh-What!" Ginny mumbled. "Oh, it's you, Veronica."

Ginny sat up and looked into her friend's green eyes. 'So much lighter than Harry's,' she thought.

"Ginny, these dreams about Harry have to stop!" Veronica moaned.

"It's okay for you," Ginny protested. "You have Colin!"

"I know, but there are so many other cute guys in our year," Veronica persisted. "What about Steven in Hufflepuff? Or James in Ravenclaw? Or Sydney in Slytherin? C'mon Ginny, pick one!"

"I just can't, Veronica," Ginny whined. "I just want one chance with Harry."

Ginny watched Veronica's face scrunch up like it always did when she was thinking.

"Ginny!" Veronica exclaimed grasping Ginnys hands with her own. "You could ask Harry to meet you directly. If he comes, you'll know you have a chance. If he doesn't, you have to promise me that you'll go out with a smart, sensible guy. K?"

Ginny looked up and met her best friend's eyes. She drew in a deep breath.

"K, Veronica," Ginny said as fast as she could. "I'll write Harry a letter telling him to meet me up at the Astronomy Tower at 10:30 tomorrow night. Then I'll know if he likes me in that way."


Beautifying Spell

To beautify yourself on a bad hair day, or if your nose is too big, or if you have an unimaginably large pimple, use this spell to cover anything undesirable.

What To Do

1)Raise you wand, while your doing the motion Aei and circle (@), say the words

'Venesine Edbeautia'.

2) Then point your wand towards your face (make sure you're in front of a mirror as you do this) and do a cut-swish motion ( / ).

3) Look at your reflection in the nearest mirror (hopefully you did this spell in front of a mirror, because it can go wrong.) Your face should be spotless, and any other less desirable feature will be perfected.

(If a problem has occurred go straight to your nearest medi-witch/wizard)

Hermione closed the book. Why was she looking at beautifying spells?

A small voice crept into her mind, 'You're doing it for him.'

Hermione refused to listen to the voice. Harry was her friend ... her friend...

"Hey, Hermione," a voice came from behind her.

"Oh, hello, Ron," Hermione answered as she recognised Ron's hoarse voice.

"Hermione," Ron mumbled. "Harry wants to see you, he's behind the statue of the one eyed witch."

Hermione said her thanks and rushed to meet Harry.


"Harry," Hermione called.* "You wanted to see me?"

"Yeah," came Harry's voice from behind her.

She felt his arms wrap a piece of cloth around her head, so it covered her eyes.

"What are you doing Harry?" Hermione questioned, giggling.

"It's a surprise," he whispered into her ear.

Hermione felt Harry take her delicate hand and lead her through the corridors of Hogwarts.

"Are we nearly there?" Hermione whined.

They turned another corner and stopped. Harry took off the blindfold and led her through the door in front of them. It was a steam room. Hermione turned to look at Harry; he was naked. She looked down at her body and, surprisingly, she was as well.

"Oh my!" Hermione gasped, her eyes trailing down Harry's body...

Hermione's eyes snapped open. 'Oh bugger,' Hermione thought to herself, 'not again!'

For the past few months she had been having these dreams about Harry. They had started off occasionally, once or twice a week, but now they were occurring every night. Hermione knew that she would have to admit it to Harry soon, before it destroyed their friendship.

'I know' Hermione thought. 'I'll write Harry a letter telling him to meet me at the...the...the *Astronomy *Tower at 10:30 tomorrow night!'

Hermione quickly wrote the note and went up to the *Owlery to send it.


*~Saturday Morning - Breakfast~*

"Pass the scrambled eggs, Harry!" Ron requested before shoveling more food into his mouth. Harry passed the eggs over to Ron.

'Last night was wonderful,' Harry thought as he remembered his romantic evening the previous night.

"Ooh, the post's here," Hermione cooed, seeming more interested than usual.

An owl flew down and delivered the Daily Prophet and a bunch of flowers to Hermione.

"Oh my!" she exclaimed as she smelled the flowers. "They're lovely"

Harry looked down the table. He saw Neville watching Hermione, blushing. Then four large owls dropped mail in front of him. All of them were addressed to him and had little love hearts. Harry looked at his lover, who was feeding Hedwig.

"Harry, you have four admirers," Ron sniggered.

Harry just glared at him and began to open his mail. The first letter was from Cho Chang.

Dear Harry,

I was wondering if you would meet me for a little discussion at the Astronomy Tower tonight at 10:30. Please come. There's so much we need to talk about.

From your Cho.

'My Cho?' Harry pondered. 'Cho must really want to talk to me.'

Harry quickly opened the next one. It was from Pansy Parkinson.

Sweet Harry,

Please forgive me for everything and meet me at the *Astronomy *Tower tonight at 10:30

Love, Pansy

'Ewww!' Harry thought. Quickly, he changed the name on the letter and envelope from his to Ron's, then resealed it.

"Here you go, Ron. I got one of yours by mistake," Harry said slyly. He watched Ron open the letter and read it.

"Very funny, Harry," Ron said sarcastically. "I read that letter at the same time as you."

Harry just ignored him and read the next one, making sure Ron couldn't see it.

Dear Harry,

I know you must think I'm stupid for sending this to you, but I need to ask you something I can't ask Ron. Meet me tonight in the Astronomy Tower around 10:30, PLEASE!!!

Yours forever, Ginny

Harry quickly hid Ginny's letter in his pocket and grabbed the next one. It was in Hermione's handwriting.


There's something I have to tell you. Ron cannot know!!!

Please meet me tonight, 10:30 Astronomy Tower.

Affectionately yours, Hermione.

Harry gathered up his letters and shoved them in the same pocket as Ginny's. Harry began to eat a sausage as Hedwig swooped down dropping a single piece of paper.

My Love,

Meet me at the Astronomy Tower at 10:30 tonight. I love you.

Your Love.

Harry kissed the letter and placed it in his chest pocket. It was strange that they all wanted to meet him at the Astronomy Tower. A place where he, like many others, had met with their lovers.

'Wait a minute!' Harry thought. 'They all want me to meet them at 10:30! I know! Now, I have the perfect way to tell everyone about my relationship and tell Cho, Pansy, Ginny and Hermione I don't want to date them!'


Cho, Pansy, Ginny and Hermione all watched Harry walk up to Professor Dumbledore. Harry whispered something into his ear, and all the girls leant forward at the same time. Dumbledore nodded and said something to Harry. As Harry began to walk back to the Gryffindor table, none of the girls could keep their eyes off him. But they weren't the only ones.

From the Slytherin table, Draco Malfoy had watched Harry Potter get his 'fan' mail and watched the four girls lust after him. As Harry Potter sat down again at the Gryffindor table, Draco wondered what stunt he was going to pull today.


Harry checked his watch for the fifth time in twenty minutes. 'C'mon Dumbledore, it's time!'

Just as Harry had this thought Dumbledore stood up.

"Quiet, please," the old man began. "Mr. Harry Potter would like to give a little preformance for our enjoyment."

Harry took his cue and stood up. Pointing his wand to his throat, a muttered 'Sonorus' could be heard. Harry climbed on top of the Gryffindor table and clicked his fingers. All the food in the Great Hall disappeared.

"Boys, girls and Professors," Harry began. "This morning, I received five letters from people asking me to meet them at the Astronomy Tower at 10:30 tonight!" Harry winked at this; after all, the Tower was a known make out area. "I can only go with one of the five, and this song you're about to hear is dedicated to them."

Harry waved his wand and music began. Harry's foot tapped to the beat, as he got ready to sing.

"You know Cho's got the body

She likes to really spin and twirl"

Cho stood up raising her head with pride.

"But when she's flirting with the camera

You know she's just a little girl.

Now Pansy is cute..."

It was now Pansy's turn to look proud. In fact, she looked like she was about to jump across the room just to be near Harry.

"...But still a baby

And she talks with attitude

She has some spunk for a young lady

But what I'd really like to do..."

Ginny and Hermione both got ready to stand but, if they'd bothered to look across at the Slytherin table, they would have seen someone else get up. Draco Malfoy. In the background, the music kept going.

"I'd rather do it with a Malfoy,

He's what a man's supposed to be,

Oh, Draco, won't you do it with me?"

Harry then lept over to Ginny and pulled her up on top of the table, while blowing a kiss to Malfoy.

"When Ginny sings, it sounds amazing

I like her belly and her butt,"

Harry pointed to Ginny's stomach and backside.

"But how would you like to with her

She's always hanging with her mum."

Harry walked over to Hermione and began to sing again.

"I'd rather do it with a Malfoy,

He's what a man's supposed to be,

Oh, Draco, won't you do it with me?

I'd rather do it with a Malfoy,

He's got me down on my knees."

Harry fell to his knees letting Hermione eye his...ahem(A/N Let's try to keep this PG-13 Okay), then quickly stood up and finished the chorus.

"The only guy I'll ever need,

Draco, do it with me, please?"

Harry then jumped over the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables and stood over Pansy and continued to sing.

"I'd really like to be with 'Mione,

I think she's really hot!

I wonder If I could get 'Mione,

To wanna do it with...never mind!"

Harry then bounded over to Draco Malfoy and lifted him up onto the table.

"I'd rather do it with a Malfoy,

He's got me down on my knees,

Oh, Draco, won't you do it with me?"

With these words, he kissed Draco and cast 'Sonorus' on him,* as well. Now it was Draco's turn to sing.

"I'd rather do it with Harry,

He's what a man's supposed to be,

Oh, Harry, won't you do it with me?"

Then Harry took over.

"I'd rather do it with a Malfoy,

He's really got me,"

Then they sang together, as one.

"Have you seen him, in his Quidditch uniform?

Where he's catching that mighty fine snitch,

But it's not the snitch you're allowed to see!"

Then Harry removed Draco's spell with 'Quietus' and finished.

"Not Cho...

Not Pansy...

Not Ginny...

Not 'Mione..."

Harry then pointed his wand up to his throat and cast 'Quietus!' Kissing Draco on the cheek, he whispered the last few words to Draco.

"I'd love to do it with my Draco Malfoy"