Keeping To My Morals

3rd June

11:00 am

Am feeling very guilty. Sirius hasn’t spoken to me since I had a go at him, and my guilt kept me awake. See how he makes me feel! It’s disgraceful. Thank Merlin I haven’t got a boyfriend, I’ve seen what these boys do to people, and it’s terrible.

Dad gave me a LOOK this morning, and Mum sounded like she wanted a Talk. That really is the last thing I need. I think I’d rather do homework than sit and listen to my mother’s ramblings about how she went through the same thing when she was a girl and blahdy blah.

But…I don’t see Sirius much. I hear about him all the time, he’s a bit of a ladies’ man after all. Him and James are nearly always on everyone’s lips. And if I ever do see him, our conversation is along the lines of “We’re gonna thrash you on (Whatever day Gryffindor plays Hufflepuff)”. They always do thrash us, anyway. Stupid lousy cheats, I swear they hex that Bludger…if only I was good enough to go on the team…but Sirius and I have the same attitude. Can’t be bothered with extra-curriculars…

I mean, should I get to know him? He was a real pain when we were little, but, thinking about it, I was too. I don’t like all that stuff he does to people like Snape, although the greasy git deserves it for what he says to Lily. I like Lily, although I don’t know her well. I always read the school newsletter she wrote, but it got cancelled through lack of popularity. Ah, well.

11:30 am

Spoke to Mum. It wasn’t as bad as I thought, it was actually quite sentimental, like that time I ran off with some of Dad’s Firewhiskey and embarrassed myself in front of the neighbours after I went over to give them all hugs for being so lovely. She’s not that bad, Mum isn’t. I ought to charm the diary to scream those words at me next time I have a temper tantrum, which, I’m sorely mortified to say, happens a lot. It’s the Morph thing. Happens to the best of us.

Anyway, we had a good old chat about Sirius. I asked her what I should do, and she told me sometimes you should just let boys get on with it. Well, I tried letting him get on with annoying me, and look what happened! She told me to apologise, and maybe think of something to cheer him up. I suggested going and turning Winston next door upside down. Mum said although that sounded like a real lark, it wasn’t very nice for poor Winston. I thought maybe one of the Marauders could come over, and Mum seemed to agree. Then we had a Mum-Daughter moment (break out the violins…) where we grinned at each other. How lame…but it felt good at the time.

12:00 am (not the diary)

Sirius was sat in his room, doing something he didn’t do all that much. He was reading. It was the nicest day so far, and he was READING. Was he turning into Remus or something? It was actually a considerable thought, after all, Remus often went into little bouts of self-pity. One of his favourite things to do was sit on the roof with a bar of something and lament about what a tough life he had. Sirius was expecting his first mousy-brown hair any day now.

Suddenly, the door creaked open, and Nymphadora appeared from behind it. She gave him a quick smile, but he scowled in reply.

“Sirius?”

“Come to yell at me a bit more?”

“I’ve come to say sorry.”

“Why? Did your mum make you do it?”

“Actually, I thought of it by myself.” Sirius gave her a sardonic round of applause.

“I knew you wouldn’t accept straight away, so I…had an idea to cheer you up.”

“Oh yeah?” She’ll probably give me some chocolate or something. Stupid girls, they think chocolate’s the cure for everything. Boy, are they ever wrong.

“I thought maybe you could invite one of your friends…”

“Seriously?”

“Nymphadoraly.”

Sirius laughed. She hadn’t said ‘Nymphadoraly’ since they were kids. Good times…soon they were laughing together, although Sirius had yet to think of which friend to invite, and Tonks hadn’t realised what she’d let herself in for.