Keeping To My Morals

1 am (not the diary, just the time)

"Tonks, truth or dare?"

"I am not playing that."

"Why?"

"Because I do NOT want to accept a dare from the most infamous prankster in Hogwarts."

"Fine, truth it is. Do you have a boyfriend?"

"I..." I really wasn't sure what to say. Normally we'd have some Veritaserum, but I'd run out, thank Merlin. I dread to think what Sirius would drag out of me. "No. I don't. Have you ever kissed a boy?"

"I...I kissed my brother once. Bella dared me, stupid cow."

"Family doesn't count."

"I'm not GAY!" I tutted maturely. Boys can be so immature sometimes, they worry far too much. But then, Sirius was as far as I knew the most "straight" guy in existence, he had as many girlfriends as he did Dungbombs. And that is way too much for the normal, sane person.

"OK, Tonks. Have you ever been in love?"

"No." I admittedly a bit too quickly. The truth was, I'd never even had a crush. The only thing close to one was that time I was in the library. A bunch of Slytherins were making fun of me and it was really cutting me deep. I felt like I was going to cry and did my best, as usual, to hold it in. But, too late, they saw, and started throwing books at me. Charming peeps, Slytherins.

Thankfully, though, we weren't the only ones in the library. A mysterious person had been sitting across the way from me, their nose firmly buried in a thumping great book. I assumed they were a Ravenclaw, but I was wrong. Mysterious slammed his book on the table, startling the Slytherins. I saw the red and gold of his tie and his Prefect badge glimming in the sun as he stood up. My heart skipped a beat. I was being rescued by a knight in scruffy uniform.

"Books, children, are meant to be read. I've always assumed fourth years were intelligent enough to understand that, I suppose you lot are exceptions. Now leave this poor girl alone. If you can't keep your jealousy of her shiny hair to yourselves than go and punch a pillow. Good day."

I flashed him a grateful smile, wishing to Merlin that I had some bloody make up on. Then, once my hero had averted his eyes, I put a hand to my heart and sighed.

"Well, Tonksie, I guess I'll have to get you a boyfriend."

"Sirius, I don't want one, I don't need one. Especially not from you."

"I have lots of good looking mates."

"What, like Potter?" I scoffed. James was funny and cool, but he was hardly Super-Stud. I guess I wasn't into muscles. Though that time he turned Snape upside was so funny, I secretly followed him to see what other cool things he did. Really. I am such a loser.

"No..." I could almost see the cogs whirring in Sirius's brain, if indeed he had one. I wasn't looking forward to the result of this. I excused myself and went to bed, hoping this would cause him to forget the conversation. I guess the memory of That Gryffindor Prefect had made me uptight, not that it had any reason to. I wasn't in LOVE with that prefect. Sure, I'd had a couple of dreams....

10 am (the diary)

Am never speaking to Sirius again.

The git has made a list of all his boyfriends (I mean, boy friends) and rated them on a scale of one to five. Here's the list:

James Potter: 5 (Cool git)

Peter Pettigrew: 1 (Ugh.)

Remus Lupin: 3 (Who?)

Amos Diggory: 4 (Who?)

Frank Longbottom: 4 and 1/2 (With Alice Redford. Poor Sasha was confined to bed with Heartbreak. Madame P had to get her a potion)

Snivellus Snape: -1 (Over my cold and rotting cadaver)

Demetrius Gershwin: 4 (I'd be lucky)

Valentine Scissorhands: 2 (Who?)

Gary Smith: 1 (My best mate's boy. No way.)

So now Operation: Tonks's Boyfriend is under way. And as if things couldn't get any worse, he's been discussing it with my Mum. No, I would never joke about something as Sirius as this. Oh I'm such a funny punny bunny. Hahahahahahaha.

"I thought he'd be good."

"I'm not liking the sound of this "furry problem", though. Is it some sort of disease?" I snicked. Furry disease. So many possibilities, nearly all of them so funny.

"It...er...well, Tonks wouldn't mind."

"I know my daughter inside out, Sirius. She gets emotional over the littlest things. But I guess you're right about this one. How about Demetrius? He's a lovely boy." Demetrius? Dear God. If he wasn't a Slytherin and a heartbreaker, I'd be praying to him by now.

"Please, Andie, have some faith in your daughter's ability to choose men."

"She hasn't done a very good job so far."

What the..?! I'm scandalized! My MOTHER and my COUSIN are discussing...my private life. 'Tis the stuff on nightmares. If Dad gets involved, I'm running away with the circus. I can't bear it anymore.

11 am (the diary)

Dad is involved. Sob. At least I can be in a Muggle freak show.

12 am

Spent lunch giving Sirius the Glare Of A Lifetime. He didn't seem to notice. Maybe I should upgrade it.

12:01 am

Gave myself red eyes, cloven hooves and a 666. Don't think he cared. They say love is blind, maybe hate is too.

1 pm

It has occured to me that you are a very valuable object in the hands of a certain BOY. So I shall now speak in a spy-style sort of code thing. I have discovered that I am on Red Alert.

3pm

Sirius, dearest, if you have got hold of this thing, which I expect you have, you should know you are the most annoying THING ever to grace this earth. You and your beautiful floppy hair. I think that's about the only thing I like about you at this moment in time.

Am lying in bed with tragic stomach cramps. I call them tragic as it occurs to me what a rough deal God has given us poor females. Also, my BF never gets them, which is especially unfair. The number of times I have had to skive a lesson because I am harboring two small shotputs in my stomach is uncountable. I admit I MAY have overexaggerated a bit sometimes and maybe once or twice used the excuse when it ought not to be used, but let's face it, it is the best excuse to use with a male teacher as they have no clue what you are talking about, and do not particulary want to have a clue either.

Currently, Floppy Haired Git is singing "She'll Be Coming Round The Mountain." I do hate that song, but it makes a welcome change from "One Finger, One Thumb, Keep Moving" which lasted about half an hour and was absolutely no fun as I was in NO mood to join in. Earlier, he attempted to play Ludo with me. LUDO?! I hate that game. Then we played cards, and he let me win. How patronising. I can actually play cards and win, I don't need someone to HELP me.

5 pm

As if things couldn't get any worse....have just been told World's Most Rubbish Joke by Floppy Haired Git. I admit I was pretty hooked for a while, about the little yellow man in his little yellow office with a little yellow button in it. The little yellow man is determined to find out about little yellow button and goes on a little yellow quest to the little yellow mountains past the little yellow dragons and little yellow brambles to reach the little yellow temple and the little yellow guru to find out the mysery of the little yellow button. Then, of course, he makes his little yellow way back. This took a little yellow hour and I was determined to know why this little yellow joke was taking so long and hoping it was worth it. The little yellow man presses the little yellow button...

...and the little yellow light comes on.

Well, that was the last little yellow straw.

5:02 pm (not the diary, Sirius's POV)

I blame Moony. He taught me that joke, and I tried it on Tonksy in my ever-so-charming attempts to cheer her up. OK, so my original motive was to be as annoying as I could possibly be, but, seeing that I was doing a good job and she was getting a bit eggy, I changed my mind and tried to cheer her up.

Can't blame me for trying, I suppose.

But after I told her the joke she got a bit...annoyed. Told me I'd been annoying her constantly for nearly 24 hours and she had had it up to here with me. Her exact words were: "Just GO AWAY and leave me ALONE! Go HOME! I don't want you here! Go! Leave! Depart!!"

Well, that hit me like a bowling ball to the chest. I'd only been trying to help the poor girl, there was no need for her to act all moody. But she didn't even want me here in the first place, did she? I left as she requested, clamping my teeth to prevent my hayfever from getting me.

It's so stupid, getting like this over something my cousin said. But I'm Sirius, aren't I? Good old Siri, bundle of laughs, got more bounce than Zebedee! Well, I've got feelings too. I do care about what people say, even if I don't show it. But who's going to comfort me? Who's going to give me a lift?

If the Tonkses, the only thing I've got that can be called family, don't want me, then who does?