The Marks We Bear

Sunday 5th Oct cont.

Draco and Harry both missed breakfast that morning and spent lunch at their seperate tables watching one another only when they thought the other was not looking. Caught in their own thoughts which were surprisingly similar despite their different reasons.

//How can I do what I need to when I want to be with him so much I can hardly breath? How can I turn my back on this and walk away without breaking into pieces?//

//Maybe I should just start walking, I could walk out of this room and out of this school and through the Forest and past Hogsmeade and just walk and walk until I don't know where I am anymore and if I don't know where I am then how can anyone else find me? I won't be with him but at least I won't be a part of it anymore. Or maybe we could both go, together. We could find a cave somewhere and catch rabbits to eat and sleep rough and nobody would ever know where we had gone or why. We'd be free.//

//Why do I want him so much? I don't understand where it came from, I don't even know him that well though it feels like I do. It's like I just woke up and there he was and all of a sudden my entire life revolves around being near him. Everything else is just an inconvenience.//

//How does he make me feel so safe... as if nothing can touch me if he's there. It's like there's a bubble around us and we're inside our own universe and no-one else can enter so how can anything ever hurt us. But it's a lie, it's just a lie.//

//I've never felt anything like this before.//

//I've never known anyone like him before.//

//I didn't know what wanting something really felt like before.//

//I didn't know what caring about someone really felt like before.//

//I can't lose this.//

//I won't lose this.//

Suddenly their eyes met across the room and they didn't look away for a long time.

-------------

When Hermione turned towards Harry she saw him staring across the room with an almost desperate expression on his face. He was pale and his eyes were wide and liquid as if he was almost but not quite about to cry. It was heart-stopping and she couldn't help but reach out her hand to him. When she touched his arm he jumped slightly and turned to her.

"What?"

"Sorry, I just... you looked so..." Hermione bit her lip. "Harry, please talk to me about what's going on. Sometimes you seem fine but sometimes... I look at you and you seem in so much pain. I just want to help you make that go away."

Harry stared at her for a moment... talk to Hermione. It was something he had been avoiding for weeks but maybe... he needed to talk to someone. Someone who wasn't part of the problem. Maybe it was time to talk to Hermione. "Not here, Hermione," he said finally. "After lunch?"

She looked immensely relieved. "Of course. Why don't we go for a walk, out by the lake?"

Harry nodded. "Okay."

----------------

They walked in silence for a long while until Hermione finally said, "Just tell me, Harry. Just talk and I'll listen."

Harry didn't reply at first but eventually he said, "I don't want to be gay. Why should I have to be if I don't want to be?"

Hermione waited to see if he would say anymore but he fell silent again. "Why don't you want to be gay?" she prompted finally.

Harry stopped walking and stared out across the lake. "I... I want children, a family. If I'm gay I can't have that."

Hermione thought about that. "You could adopt," she suggested.

"No-one's going to give a child to a poof," he said derisively. "And even if they did what could I offer it? It wouldn't even be mine, it wouldn't be a Potter."

Hermione sighed and looked at Harry, she knew how important the family Harry had never had was to him but she hadn't realised that meant the family yet to come as well as the family he had already lost. "I don't know what to say," she said. "I don't know much about it. I've hardly even considered having children one day myself... but I'm sure there must be ways."

Harry said nothing.

"It's just... you can't just decide not to be gay, Harry. You are or you're not... I think that's the way it works anyway. I mean I know I couldn't just decide to be gay so I would think it would be the same the other way around."

"I can be whatever I want to be!" snapped Harry, starting to walk again. "Just because I'm attracted to someone doesn't mean I have to act on it."

"I suppose... but, Harry, wouldn't you rather be with someone you're attracted to than someone you're not?"

"I'd rather be normal," he answered with determination. "I'm tired of being stared at, I don't need something else to mark me out as different. I don't want this!" He stopped again and stared up in the sky, fists clenched, as if trying to bring something back under control.

"Tell me what you're thinking about," Hermione whispered.

Harry closed his eyes and slumped back against a tree. "Why can't I control this?" he asked. "I know all the reasons not to do this and I still can't stop it, it won't go away. I look at him and no matter how many times I tell myself to walk away I still don't." He fixed Hermione with a pleading gaze. "There has to be something you can do about this! Some spell that can make it go away."

Hermione put her hand to her mouth, his thoughts echoed thoughts she had entertained herself in the past when she had feared Ron would never be interested in her. When all she had wanted was for the feelings she had to go away so she could get on with her life. She too had looked for some spell to take away her pain. "There isn't, nothing you would want to use. The only potions that can take away feelings like that take too much else with them, they'd leave you empty inside. Unable to feel anything, you might as well be dead."

Harry didn't ask how she knew about it without doing any research. He just nodded as if he'd expected her answer. "I figured it couldn't be that easy... fucking magic. What good is it anyway when it can't help with any of the important stuff?"

"Don't you think maybe you're making this bigger than it needs to be," she asked tentatively.

He looked up at her in anger.

"I just mean, you're only fifteen. You've got all the time in the world to worry about having a family and stuff, there's other stuff that's more important right now."

"Like what?"

"Well, like passing your exams and defeating Voldemort for a start."

"In that order, huh?" said Harry with a faint smile.

Hermione shrugged and smiled back.

"I don't even want to think about Voldemort," said Harry. "I thought maybe he'd forget about me now that he'd got his powers back, but that was just wishful thinking and now I know he hasn't."

"Know? How?"

Harry measured her up, wondering whether to say any more. Finally he said, "Draco," and left it at that.

Hermione didn't know what to make of that. "What do you mean?"

Harry chewed on his thumb nail a bit. "Voldemort thinks Draco's on his side, he told him to get close to me. We don't know what he has planned."

"Voldemort told Malfoy to get close to you and you're letting him?" Hermione was frightened, she had worried that Malfoy might be up to something but to hear it confirmed by Harry as if it didn't matter...

"Draco's not working for Voldemort... his father and Voldemort just think he is," explained Harry.

"How do you know he's not?"

"Because he told me and I believed him. Draco's loyalties are not in question here."

"Well, why the hell not!"

Harry looked shocked at Hermione's language.

"Harry, please. I know you've got some sort of thing going on with Malfoy but you can't let it cloud your judgement. We've been wrong before, it's so easy to trust the wrong person. We thought Snape was trying to kill you and all along it was Professor Quirrel, we thought we could trust Moody... your parents trusted Wormtail and it got them killed!"

Harry's expression was cold. "If I hadn't gone with my instincts in the Shreaking Shack and trusted Sirius we could all be dead now. Draco is telling me the truth and tomorrow night I'm going with him to see Professor Dumbledore and he's going to tell him the truth too. I have enough problems without you deciding Draco's still the enemy."

Hermione slumped. "I'm sorry, I just hope you're right." She walked over and leant against the tree next to him. "How'd we end up talking about Voldemort anyway?"

"Dunno. I guess everything comes around to him eventually in my life. You're probably right that I should just quit worrying about the gay thing, what does it matter anyway? Chances are I won't live long enough to have a family."

"Harry, don't say that!"

"But I'd still rather be remembered as The Boy Who Died Heroic-ly Fighting Voldemort than The Boy Who Took It Up The Arse."

"And don't say that either! Where did you get this attitude from... no let me guess, those horrible people who brought you up. You're not going to die fighting Voldemort and nobody cares whether you're gay or not except you and the sort of people you don't want to waste your time on anyway! You're Harry Potter and you'll always be Harry Potter whether you're gay or straight or even if you shave off all your hair and join a religious cult. You're my friend and I don't care whether you prefer boys or not and neither does Ron or Ginny... well except in the being a little heart-broken department... and neither will anyone else if you stop hiding it."

"You told Ron as well!" Harry shouted.

"He saw you in bed with Malfoy, Harry."

"We were only sleeping!" Harry protested.

"Right, and you sleep in the same bed, in your underwear, holding hands, with all your close friends!" retorted Hermione. "He's not stupid."

"What am I going to do?" moaned Harry in horror.

"Harry I told you, he doesn't care if you're gay. He might be a little horrified about *who* was in your bed but the fact that it was a boy isn't the problem there."

"Has he told anyone else? You did tell him not to didn't you?"

"Of course I did. I can't believe you'll put up with the entire school hating you for being friends with Malfoy but you throw a fit at the thought someone might find out you're gay. You're not the first gay student ever to go to Hogwarts you know."

"I'm not?" Harry shook himself. "I mean of course I'm not but I bet they keep their mouths shut about it too."

"Sometimes I think you walk through the school with your eyes shut and your fingers in your ears. You should pay more attention... Justin Finch-Fletchley came out last year."

"He what? No-one told me that!"

"Well no-one was talking to you for a good part of last year," Hermione admitted. "The whole year was buzzing about it but I guess you managed to miss it."

"I was a little busy trying not to get eaten by a dragon," said Harry sarcastically.

"I guess by the time you made up with Ron it was old news."

"He's really gay?"

"Yup. And nobody cares, Harry. If he was being singled out for it don't you think you might have noticed?"

"I guess. But that still doesn't mean it's fine, that doesn't change everything."

"You are so stubborn. Aside from the kids thing, and I really think you're way too young to be worrying about that, what else is there?"

"Well... the law for one."

"What are you on about?"

"It was in the leaflets you gave me, Hermione! Didn't you even read them?"

"Of course I did. I thought you burned them!"

"Well... I didn't," he admitted. "They're still in my trunk. I only read one and it had all these laws... I could get sent to Azkhaban!"

"For what?" she asked furrowing her brow. She didn't remember anything about gay people getting thrown in Azkhaban.

"Ten years, it said, if you're under 21... and I'm only 15. And... something about a Decency Act, it's illegal for me to kiss a boy if I'm not in my own house and if anyone sees it's illegal even if it's a ghost!"

Hermione started laughing.

"It's not funny. I've already broken the law, they could expel me!"

"You've already... you kissed Malfoy!"

Harry went bright red. "He kissed me," he mumbled. "Do you think that means it was just him who broke the law?" he asked hopefully.

Hermione couldn't answer for laughing, finally she managed to pull herself together. "I remember that leaflet now... you didn't read all of it did you?"

"I read enough," sulked Harry feeling she wasn't taking this seriously enough.

"Obviously not the bit that noted that these laws are very rarely prosecuted and besides which you're a minor, they don't apply to minors! If you slept with someone over 18 they'd be in trouble, not you. And I really don't think kissing counts anyway."

Harry was still blushing but for a different reason now. "It just said homosexual acts, I didn't know what they meant exactly."

"Didn't you ask Malfoy about it when he kissed you, if you were so worried? He could've told you, he's studying Law this year."

"I haven't really talked to him about any of this," Harry admitted.

"You are impossible."

"You're sure it's not illegal."

"I am quite positive that you won't get thrown in Azkhaban for kissing Malfoy, although Ron might have you sent to St Mungo's when he hears about it."

"You're laughing at me... and what do you mean *when* he hears about it!"

"Oh go on, let me tell him. I'm dying to see the look on his face."

"No! And quit laughing."

"I'm sorry, but it really is funny."

"Remind me not to confide in you again."

"Oh come of it, Harry. Give it a while and you'll probably think it's funny too."

"Somehow I doubt it." Harry fumed silently feeling pretty stupid.

--------------

That evening at dinner he alternated between watching Draco and curiously studying Justin Finch-Fletchley. He'd really had absolutely no idea he was gay and wondered if Hermione had been making it up to make him feel better. He didn't look gay.

Eventually he turned to Ron. "Ron," he whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Hermione said she... told you."

"Told me what?" asked Ron in confusion.

"About... you know... that she thinks... you know, about me."

"Oh, the gay thing? She said you were in denial and I wasn't to talk about it. Are you out of denial then?"

Harry frowned. "I... um... do I have to answer that?"

"I guess not, but if you're still in denial shouldn't we be not talking about it? I don't want Hermione to yell at me again."

"Look, just... tell me, is Justin Finch-Fletchley really gay?"

Ron glanced over at the Hufflepuff table. "Yeah," he answered casually. "Didn't you know?"

Harry shook his head.

"Well, he is." Ron grinned. "Why, are you gonna ask him out? Cause you totally have my blessing on *anyone* who isn't a Slytherin."

"I am not... just forget I asked."

"Okay, but he's *much* nicer than Malfoy. Sure you don't want me to drop some hints for you?"

Harry went bright red. "Ron, shut up! I am not asking out Justin!" he hissed.

"Fine but you're passing up a great guy there."

"Then why don't you ask him out!"

Ron rolled his eyes and went back to eating his pie.

---------------

Draco sat at the Slytherin table feeling increasingly lonely. How could he have gotten so used to Harry's company in such a short time that he could no longer bear to spend his meals alone. He wondered if he should sneak into Harry's room again tonight, he wondered if Harry would let him. They hadn't spoken since this morning and he was worried that he might have pushed Harry too fast with the kiss. He wanted to tell Harry about the letter he had recieved that morning but he hadn't yet made up his mind. He thought maybe he should hedge his bets... warn them that an attack was coming but steal Harry's wand on Thursday so he could claim he had done his job if things went badly. Hope that it wouldn't be obvious that he had warned them. If he had Harry's wand as proof it would back up his story that he had done as he was told.

But if Harry realised who had taken it... maybe he should ask to borrow it and accidentally break it. But that might be suspicious too, he wasn't naturally clumsy. He'd just have to see what opportunities presented themselves on Thursday.

He would put it out of his mind until then.

When he saw Harry and his friends get up to leave the room he hurried over to catch him. "Harry!"

Harry stopped and waited for him, gesturing Ron and Hermione to go ahead. "What is it?"

Harry's tone was reserved but not cold, maybe a little nervous Draco thought. He drew Harry aside so they could speak privately. "You okay? You're not mad about this morning are you?"

Harry flushed at the reminder and at his previous fears that what they had done might be illegal. "No. I just... needed a little time to think."

"Are you finished then?"

"What?"

"Thinking. Are you finished thinking."

"Oh... I guess so."

"Come to any interesting conclusions?"

"I spoke to Hermione, she... actually she told me Justin Finch-Fletchley was gay. Did you know about that?"

"I thought everyone knew that."

"Everyone except me apparantly."

"Well, you're not the most observant person in the world."

"I'm beginning to wonder how I made it this far without flunking out, everyone seems to know more about everything than I do."

"You've just got different priorities than most, Harry. You might not be up on the school gossip but I'm sure you have your areas of expertise."

Draco somehow managed to make that sound vaguely dirty causing Harry to blush... or perhaps he was just letting his imagination get the better of him again. "Did you want something in particular?" he asked. "Cause I have homework I need to do for tomorrow."

"Actually I have to go too, detention as usual. I just wanted to ask you..."

"What?"

"I know it's risky but... could I sleep in your dorm again tonight? I promise to behave myself."

"Oh... um... I dunno."

Draco didn't beg him vocally, just looked at him with a pleading expression tinged with fear that Harry might deny him. He couldn't sleep alone tonight, he couldn't bear another nightmare.

Harry couldn't bear to say no to him when he looked so desperate. "All right then, but only because I'm too stupid to say no. I'll meet you back here at ten, okay?"

"Okay."

"Don't forget the invisibility cloak."

"I won't. Thanks, Harry."

Harry sighed and went upstairs to do his homework.

--------------

That evening at half past nine Harry was taking a shower, his stomach full of butterflies. //Nothing's going to happen, nothing's going to happen. You're just doing him a favour because he has nightmares when he sleeps on his own. That's it. He promised to behave so nothing is going to happen.//

He had been repeating similar thoughts all evening and suspected that half his essay on Medicinal Uses of Mugwort might read more like Medicinal Uses of Malfoy. This was such a bad idea. Maybe he should meet Draco in the Great Hall and tell him he'd changed his mind. Yes, that was exactly what he should do.

He got out the shower and dressed again. At ten to ten he headed downstairs rehearsing his explanation for why Draco couldn't come back with him, but when he arrived in the Great Hall there was nobody there. He stood around for a few minutes then took the opportunity to leg it, he would tell Draco he'd thought he had changed his mind when he wasn't there. It would be Draco's fault for being late and that way he wouldn't have to go back on saying he could stay with him. Problem solved.

He re-entered Gryffindor Tower feeling a lot more relaxed if a little let-down. After all he'd spent all evening psyching himself up for this, if he'd known it wasn't going to happen he probably would've done a lot better with his essays. He mooched around the Common Room for a few minutes wondering if he should go over his homework again but decided not to bother, he just wasn't in the mood. He thought maybe he'd just go to bed ... maybe even read over those leaflets Hermione had given him after all. It couldn't hurt just to read them.

He went upstairs and changed into his pyjamas, fished the leaflets out the trunk and got into bed, closing the curtains to read them away from prying eyes. When he summoned some light with his wand he almost died of shock, sitting next to him on the bed wearing a pair of navy pyjamas and a dark green dressing gown was Draco, in his lap was the invisibility cloak.

"Draco!" he dropped his wand and the light went out.

"You were expecting someone else?"

Harry relit his wand. "When I went to meet you, you weren't there."

"I was wearing the invisibility cloak you idiot."

"Oh... I thought..."

"You thought that if you disappeared off before I showed up you could get out of this," said Draco, he sounded angry. "If you didn't want me here you could have at least had the courage to tell me to my face."

Harry's face fell. "I didn't... I.... I just..."

"You just what? At least have the guts to admit I'm right."

"I... fine, you're right. I'm sorry. I was just... nervous. This really isn't a good idea, it's against the rules and if anyone found out it would cause so much trouble."

Draco looked him in the eye. "Nervous I believe, but don't give me excuses about it being against the rules. I know you better than that. So... do you want me to go?" The final question was asked casually and without eye contact.

Harry looked at Draco's tense posture, the way his eyes flicked to Harry's face and away again, his hands gripping the invisibility cloak a little too tightly and gave in. "No, stay." Harry sighed. "Tie the curtains on that side will you." Harry bound the curtains together tightly on his side.

"There's a charm you can use," said Draco.

"For what?"

"To keep people from opening the curtains. Just point your wand at them and say 'Claudo Velum'."

"You couldn't have thought of that previously?"

"I was tired before, it didn't cross my mind."

Harry used the charm on the curtains then turned to see Draco picking up one of the leaflets that were lying on the bed.

"What's this?"

Harry felt himself going red again. //Surely there has to be some sort of limit to the number of times you can blush in one week,// he thought in exasperation. "It's nothing, just some leaflets Hermione gave me a while back."

"50 Ways To Come Out to Your Friends & Family," read Draco. "What number is 'Sneak extremely sexy Slytherin into your dormitory and surprise them all in the morning'?"

"You're not funny and you snuck in here yourself. You're lucky I didn't curse you before I realised who it was."

"Danger is my middle name."

"Funny, I always thought it would be something like Eustace or Horatio."

Draco was still reading the leaflet. "Oh, I like number seventeen. 'Invite your partner to dinner with your parents but make him disguise himself as a girl, once your parents have gotten to know and like him he can remove the disguise.' Whoever wrote this was clearly a genius."

"It doesn't say that."

"It does... I think they got a bit desperate around number fourteen when they realised there just aren't that many plausible ways to do it. Check out number twenty-two... 'Invite all your friends round to your house for a gay porn night'. Did Hermione really think this was going to be useful?" He tossed the leaflets aside. "Load of rubbish. So... you still doing the dance of denial or can we talk about this now?"

Harry shrugged. "I guess we can talk about it, doesn't mean I'm gay and that's it but we can talk about it if you want. I talked to Hermione about it this afternoon actually."

"Why does Hermione think you're gay anyway? I mean I didn't think it was obvious and I know you didn't tell her you were."

Harry sighed, "I dunno. Maybe she has a crush on me and she thinks I'm gay cause I don't fancy her back."

Draco laughed out loud at this.

"What? It's possible."

"Except that it's clear to anyone with an ounce of observational skill, which as we covered earlier excludes you, that Hermione is head over heels in sickly sweet puppy love with Weasley... and vice versa for that matter."

"What?"

"You really are thick, Harry." But the insult was cast almost affectionately.

"Well, I guess she is. I never really thought about it much."

"They're your best friends, Harry," Draco noted.

"I've been distracted," he protested.

"By what?" The question seemed unnaturally casual.

"Um... I dunno. Just stuff."

Draco pondered for a moment, twisting the covers between his fingers. "Why does it matter so much to you that people might think you're gay?" he asked finally.

"It just... does. I haven't decided what I am yet and I don't want people to go around thinking something that's not true. Maybe I don't want to be gay, Hermione's my friend and she ought to support me in not being gay if that's what I want instead of trying to push me one way."

Suddenly Draco reached out and lifted Harry's hand out of his lap. Not meeting Harry's eyes he began to study it, running his fingers over the palm, twining their fingers together. After a long moment in which Harry could swear he hadn't taken a single breath Draco raised the hand to his face and pressed it against his cool cheek, then turned his face into it and let his lips ghost over Harry's palm.

Harry watched all this wild-eyed from an arms length away, unable and unwilling to move.

Finally Draco met his eyes. "I'm your friend too, yes?"

"Yes," Harry whispered.

"What if I said I thought Hermione was right? Would you still say you don't want to be gay?"

"I don't...." But there was no strength behind the denial.

Draco leaned forward, still holding Harry's hand against his face, and pressed his lips to Harry's. After a dizzying moment he pulled back again, this time staying only inches way. "Would you still tell me you're not?"

"Are you?" Harry gasped.

Draco smiled at the deflection. "I don't know. I never wanted to kiss anyone before."

"Never?"

"Not till you asked me to last Thursday."

Harry thought about that then asked cautiously, "Why did you run out on me that night?"

Draco's expression faltered at that, his gaze becoming slightly shuttered. "I had my reasons. It was nothing to do with you."

"It didn't feel that way."

"I don't want to talk about it, it's personal." He was trying to put more space between them but Harry wouldn't let go of his hand.

"And this isn't personal?"

Draco's voice broke slightly as he said, "Please, Harry. Don't try and make me talk about this. Not now, not yet."

"When?"

"I don't know."

Harry let the silence surround them again for a moment. He felt very alone again despite the fact he still had Draco's hand in his. Finally he said, "I suppose I am, amn't I. Whether I want to be or not."

Draco was thrown by this conversational leap. "What?"

"Gay," breathed Harry. Staring at their joined hands, he looked bereft.

"Is that so terrible?" Draco said in relief.

"I don't know. Maybe... yes."

"Why?"

"Everything'll change. I'm already wierd enough."

"It's just who you are, Harry. Nothing has to change. It didn't for Justin."

"I don't know Justin that well, maybe it did change and we just don't know about it. You don't get it, you and Hermione don't look at it like everyone else. I'm a freak, a pervert. I share a dormitory with four other boys for Gods sake, do you know how many times they've messed around in front of me? I would hardly ever join in, they thought I was just uptight about it but if they find out I'm gay... they'll think I was watching them, getting off on it!"

"Were you?"

"Bloody hell, of course not!"

"What, never?" Draco couldn't help but tease a little.

Harry went bright red. "Shut up, Malfoy!"

Draco pulled Harry's hand back up to his lips and kissed the knuckles. "I thought you called me Draco now."

"You're acting like this is some kind of big joke," Harry tried to pull his hand back. "This is my life!"

"I know it's not a joke," Draco said seriously, dropping their joined hands back into his lap. "I just think that you're making it out to be much worse than it is."

"That's what Hermione said, you just don't get it," Harry shot back.

"You think I don't know what it's like to be different? To leave your old life behind and start a new one?"

"That was your choice, to stop being who you were. You didn't have to."

"Just like you don't have to be here with me? Funny how it just isn't that simple."

"It would be that simple if you would let go of my damn hand!"

"Make me," there was a very sensual edge to Draco's challenge. He lifted Harry's hand back to his lips and began to kiss each finger in turn before spreading them and pressing a long soft kiss into Harry's palm.

"For someone who doesn't know if he's gay you seem pretty forward," Harry managed to choke out.

"I don't think I am gay," said Draco, speaking into Harry's hand so that his lips brushed the skin with every word. He was looking straight into Harry's eyes. "I just know that I want this, the fact you're male doesn't seem very relevant. I want to touch you and only you."

His words sent a shiver through Harry's body. He felt very much out of his depth. "I don't understand you sometimes."

"I know. I don't expect you to." With that Draco reached out with his free hand and hooked Harry around the neck, pulling him into another kiss. This one was firmer than before. When Draco broke it he said, "Don't try to, it doesn't matter anyway." And then he was pushing Harry back onto the bed and following him down, pressing his body into his, lips insistent.

He broke away to make another exploration of Harry's face, removing his glasses so that he could run his lips over every inch as his hands tangled into Harry's dark hair. He could feel Harry's breath coming in shocked gasps but his hands made no attempt to push Draco away. Eventually he returned to Harry's mouth to find it softer than before, his lips and teeth slightly parted. He plunged in, his dominant position removing all the previous fear and leaving only a desire he had never experienced before this morning. He wanted everything he could get, every touch and every taste and every incredible surge that seemed to wipe away his memory of anything but here and now and Harry. Their tongues danced nervously together, growing in confidence as they each felt the other boy react positively, their hands were now wandering lower, their legs twined together. Draco could feel Harry's hips buck slightly against him and ran his hands over them, down to stroke his thighs, squeezing them hard enough to leave marks as their bodies suddenly fell exactly into place and their erections pressed into one another through a thin layer of cloth. Harry's hands were on Draco's backside, pressing him closer.

They had broken their kiss and Draco's face was buried in Harry's neck and hair, gasping as he began to move cautiously against Harry. Yes, this was what he wanted. He raised himself up from Harry's neck and began to tug at the buttons of Harry's pyjamas.

"What are you doing?" gasped Harry.

"I want to feel your skin," Draco answered, mindless to Harry's shock, not even thinking that Harry might disagree. He could feel how much Harry wanted this by the hardness pressed into his body.

Harry put his hands over Draco's, stopping him. "Don't you think we're going a bit fast?"

Draco met his eyes with a mild look of surprise. "I want this, don't you want this?"

"I... I never even thought we'd get this far," Harry answered truthfully.

"I never even knew that I wanted to, but I do. I want to feel your skin against mine." Draco flexed his hands under Harry's. "I want this, I need this. You want it to, I know you do, I can *feel* you." At that Draco pressed his erection into Harry's causing him to make a deep groan of desire.

"Of course I want you, I just don't know if we should," Harry protested weakly.

But he had stopped holding Draco still and within a few moments his pyjamas were open and pushed aside baring his chest. Harry made a final wordless protest before dissolving back into moans as Draco bent his head to Harry's chest and began to lick and suck and bite every inch he had exposed.

It didn't matter to Draco in the slightest if they were moving too fast. For all he knew, come this Friday one of them would be dead and they would never have this chance again. As to being found out... he didn't care what anyone at the school thought anymore and he knew his father and Voldemort would easily accept this as part of the getting close to Harry Potter plan. All he cared about was touching Harry, absorbing every moan of pleasure, every hoarse whisper of his name. He felt as though he had been walking around with his eyes closed for his entire life and now that he'd opened them he never wanted to blink again. He could do this forever.

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tbc... please send reviews, insults and comments...

Notes: the NC-17 adult scene to follow has been posted seperately on fanfiction.net for those who wish to read it. If you do not wish to read it you should be able to continue on to Ch10 without too much confusion.

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