The Seduction of Severus Snape

Chapter 5: Finally, Some Action

* ~ November 7 ~ *

I have detention for being disrespectful to Professor Snape. In other words, I had potions class and the sexual innuendo task was still in effect. I wasn't really paying attention in class (instead pondering the firmness of his backside) and he called on me, obviously sensing my inattentiveness. So, forced to tell him the uses of jobberknoll feathers in a regeneration potion, I said, "You can put your feather in my potion anyday, Professor." There was stunned silence, which slowly gave way to laughter. Then, after answering the question correctly, I was given detention with Professor Snape himself. Ahhh, *swoon!*

Other than that, there are no new tasks to report, but there was plenty of interaction with Professor Snape. Today was the big day. Slytherin vs. Ravenclaw Quidditch match. There was going to be a big turn-out, I could feel it in my bones. And, of course, I was going to attend. Now, this is one competition I have no trouble choosing sides on. Definitely Slytherin all the way. Yeah, I know, I probably should be rooting for my house, but I refuse to. I hate every single person on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team. Hate them. I absolutely abhor every single one of those prude, prissy, idiotic... Ahem. Can't get too off-track. Anyway, I ventured out to the Quidditch pitch to take my seat, glancing over at the Slytherin section, and wonder of wonders, there was Professor Snape, ready for the taking! Well, by that I mean the seat beside him was empty. Hell, not if I could help it.

I plopped down in the seat next to him, smiling cheerfully in the bitter cold winds. "Good afternoon, Professor," I greeted. "Nice day for a Quidditch match, isn't it?" He looked around at me, sneering, then blinked slowly. I merely grinned as I adjusted my green scarf and straightened my little Slytherin flag.

"Miss Page... Are you, or are you not, in Ravenclaw?" He seemed rather irritated by my support of Slytherin.

"Yes, I'm in Ravenclaw," I answered casually, pulling on a nice warm green hat, with a silver hem and a little silver puff at the end.

"Perhaps, then, you would like to explain why you are sitting in the Slytherin section, wearing Slytherin colors, and holding that little banner." He eyed it with mild disgust.

"To be honest," I answered truthfully, "I don't like the Ravenclaw Quidditch team."

"Oh?"

"Nope. Not a bit. Besides, I've got to have some family pride. I do, after all, come from a long line of Slytherins."

"Regretfully." He crossed his arms and glared out at the Quidditch pitch.

"Why, Professor! I do believe you just conversed with me. My, my, my. Soon I'll be needing to beat you off with a stick." Heehee... Beat him off...

"Miss Page..." he warned angrily. However, anything else he was about to say was cut off with the almost deafening sound of Madam Hooch's whistle. Suddenly, the Quidditch pitch was covered in blurs of blue and green, and the crowds were cheering wildly. The first few minutes were tense and exciting, with the quaffle being passed back and forth between the teams. I was only half listening to the commentator as I watched Persephone Wyatt, a snobby bitch I am forced to share a dormitory with, take hold of the quaffle and speed towards the Slytherin goalposts. I hoped fiercely that she'd be knocked off her broom by a bludger, but no such luck.

"RAVENCLAW SCORES!" shouted the magically amplified voice from nearby. The rest of the stadium cheered, while the Slytherins burst into boos and hisses. I jumped up and joined them, pulling faces at Persephone, who was eyeing me with contempt. Then, the game was underway again. Persephone once more had possession of the quaffle, and there was a beater right near us, with a bludger heading straight for him.

"KNOCK HER OFF HER BROOM!!!" I screamed. The Slytherin beater seemed to have heard me, because that's exactly what he did- and I cheered loudest of them all. "AHAHAHA!!" I was very happy. She looked like she might need to go to the hospital wing.

"Miss Page," Professor Snape suddenly scolded, eyeing me strangely, "calm down."

"I'm no more excited than the Slytherins, sir," I answered as politely as I could.

"You most decidedly are," he retorted, raising an eyebrow.

"Well... I hate her," I concluded.

"SLYTHERIN SCORES!"

"WHOOO!! GO SLYTHERIN!!!" I waved my little flag around, which was enchanted to play a little rendition of "A Pirate's Life for Me" whenever I did so. Professor Snape glanced over at me, eyeing the flag with something like recognition on his face... But I didn't really have time to analyze his expressions, as Slytherin had just scored again. "Yesss!" Normally, I'm not so rabid a Quidditch fan, but I thoroughly enjoy watching people I hate being shamed and embarrassed. Even more than that, though, I enjoy sitting next to Professor Snape. Awww, he looked so happy (for him, I mean.) That satisfied little smirk is so cute.

When the Ravenclaw beater missed a bludger and it hit a chaser, he sneered and muttered, "Imbeciles," under his breath. I, unable to keep my opinion to myself, decided that it was fairly safe to speak to him when his attention was directed elsewhere.

"May I say, Professor Snape, that you look absolutely adorable today?" Slowly, oh so slowly, he squeezed his eyes shut, grimaced, and turned to glare at me.

"Miss Page. Five points from Ravenclaw. I forbid you to speak." Then he turned back to the game, subtley edging away from me. I watched the game as well, hoping desperately that the new Slytherin seeker would catch the snitch. If she was even half as good as Draco, she'd be able to get it.

Suddenly, there were gasps from the crowd as the Slytherin seeker sped upwards, chasing something that glinted gold in the sunlight. I held my breath as the Ravenclaw seeker caught up to her, right on her tail... They were neck in neck... And then... The Slytherin seeker caught the snitch! She caught it! "SLYTHERIN WINS!" shouted the commentator (who was actually quite happy, since he was a Slytherin.)

"SLYTHERIN WINS!!!" I cheered with the (small) crowd, throwing my arms around Professor Snape and jumping up and down on my seat. "SLYTHERIN WINS!!!"

"GET OFF OF ME YOU BARMY GIRL!!"

"WHOOOOO!!! YEAH SLYTHERIN!!!!!" I was ignoring his desperate attempts to escape, and when I (still screaming with the Slytherins and using their victory as an excuse to do so) kissed him on the cheek he nearly fell over. "SLYTHERIN! SLYTHERIN!" The crowd was chanting; after all, winning this Quidditch match put the Slytherin team ahead in the Quidditch and House Cup.

"THIRTY POINTS FROM RAVENCLAW!!" Professor Snape managed to bellow over the roaring crowd before we were trampled by an influx of Slytherins rushing to get down to the Quidditch pitch. By the time the crowd had subsided, Professor Snape and I were both on the ground, and my left leg was pleasantly draped over his right. He growled a bit and kicked my leg away, standing up and brushing himself off. "You..." He trailed off, seemingly unable to complete his sentence. "You..." His hands shook a bit.

"Some help, Professor?" I asked innocently, holding out a hand.

"No." And he swept off. Gar. So, I pushed myself to my feet and walked to the edge of the stands, where I leaned against the rail and watched him prowl across the Quidditch pitch. What a nice body... and his cheek was so warm. Well, he can't get away from me that easily; my detention is tonight. Heh.

So, after being glared at by all of my housemates (well, more like almost the entire school) for supporting Slytherin throughout dinner, I set off on my wonderous adventure... aka detention. I knocked, I walked in, I was glared at some more, this time by Professor Snape. He indicated a bucket of murky water and a scrub brush, sitting next to me. "I want to be able to see my face in this floor when you're done." Not likely, unless he had a reflection charm in mind. "No magic allowed." Apparently not.

"Thank you, sir." He glanced up at me, raising a cautious eyebrow. "I'm a masochist." Slightly redder than before, he turned back to the papers he was grading, gritting his teeth. Of course, I'm not really a masochist, but it just seemed like an amusing thing to say.

Anyway, I got to scrubbing the floor, reciting in my head a list of all my favorite books at the moment and their authors, followed by possible scenarios where gay romance might be inserted. It was a nice distraction from scrubbing the floors, though I'd done worse whenever my mum went into one of her psychotic cleaning frenzies. Which is usually preceeded by Dad doing something extremely magical. I know that there are many different ways to deal with stress, but... Cleaning? Come on.

I glanced up at Professor Snape when I was over halfway done, and he seemed to be concentrating rather intensely on some sort of letter. As I scrubbed, I moved slowly closer to him, hoping to maybe catch a glimpse of the letter... Or touch his butt. You know, whichever comes first. Unfortunately, as I was moving into position, he swore and crumpled the letter into a ball, incinerating it. Then he stood up, and, looking very annoyed, glared directly at me. "You may go, Miss Page." Followed by him swooping out of the room. And swooping is definitely the way to describe it. Sexy. Well, I'm not one to turn down a free pass, so I was out of there more quickly than... Something quick. I'm not in the mood for similes or metaphors at the moment.

When I finally got back to the common room, I looked around for only a moment before I spotted Luna in a cozy seat in front of the fire. I plopped down beside her, eyeing her suspiciously as she held some sort of lump of fabric in her hands, concentrating on sewing. "Hey, Luna," I greeted. She nodded towards me, saying nothing as she continued with her project. "...What's that?" Then she looked at me with that glimmer in her eyes; the one that meant another task was fast approaching.

"Puppets," she informed me dreamily. I sat immobile for a few moments, staring at her, before I finally found my voice.

"...What? ...Puppets?"

"Yes," she replied. "Puppet show." She gestured towards the end table next to her chair, where I noticed, for the first time, a small likeness of Professor Snape. It was a Snape puppet.

"Oh my God..." I muttered. "No. No. There is no way. Ever." I refuse to humiliate myself with such a demeaning act. "And what does it have to do with confessing my undying love, anyway?" That was when she held up the puppet she'd been sewing for me to see; it looked an awful lot like me... "NO." Luna put another few stitches into place, then bit the string and tied it off, slipping the puppet onto her hand. Then, she slid her other hand into the Snape puppet and made then dance around a bit before kissing. "No, no, no, no, no!"

"I love you," she imitated in a squeaking voice, making my puppet bounce to indicate that she was the one talking. "Go away!" she replied to herself in a gruff voice, waving the Snape puppet about. "Stupid girl!"

"This is ridiculous," I grumbled, watching the display with mild disgust. "I refuse to do it." She only shrugged.

"I was bored." Oh, thank GOD. "It can be a backup." Sometimes I wonder if Luna wasn't better suited for Slytherin. Anyway... No more write. Mah.

* ~ November 27 ~ *

Happy Birthday to me, aww yeah! Slow-going with the SSS but IT'S MY 18th BIRTHDAY! Eighteen, because Mum wanted me to go to some special primary school, and I just narrowly missed the cut off. So I had to wait another year. Dad wasn't to pleased about that, I remember.

As I was saying... It was a rather fun birthday, to be sure. And the last class of the day just happened to be potions, so that was a wonderful, beautiful thing. So, I got up this morning and got dressed, so on and so forth, and waited patiently at the breakfast table for the post to arrive.

Sure enough, when the post owls flew into the Great Hall, there was a spot of yellow among them. Not many people know that fwoopers are very good for delivering the post. Anyway, Sweetheart (the fwooper) landed on the table with a package and two letters, giving me a long-suffering look as I untied them, before devouring all of my bacon and swooping out of the room. Though, before she left, she made a quick stop to peck Professor Snape in the head. Bwahaha! That was priceless. Especially watching him swear and bat her away.

When I looked at the letters, though, I couldn't suppress an exasperated sigh. There was one from Mum and one from Dad. I opened Mum's first, which told me that Dad had planned something completely inappropriate (in other words, the best present ever) but, luckily, she had stopped him in time to send me something befitting of an intelligent young woman. I opened the package to find two books. One: a comprehensive guide on how to get a secondary school education without actually attending, and the other: a second comprehensive guide, this one of muggle universities around the world. Whoopee. I don't actually plan to go to muggle university. I want to pursue a career/life in the wizarding world, so there. I'll punch your heart out, Ha-ha!

Dad's letter was a bit less... Prim. He explained to me that Mum was having one of her "my daughter's a horrible failure" fits, since one of the cousins was talking about how her son just performed brain surgery or something of the sort, and promised that the real goods would be along soon. He also mentioned an angry letter he'd gotten home from the school, and congratulated me profusely for instigating it. (Definitely the work of Professor Snape.) He was apparently very amused by said letter.

Anyway, History of Magic (for two hours, no less) was a bore. It killed me. Lunch was such a relief, and Ginny and Colin even stopped off at the Ravenclaw table for a chat. After wishing me a happy birthday, they brought up the need for a "special birthday task." Many long minutes were spent contemplating this until, at last...

"I've got it!" Ginny exclaimed. "You can act like you're angry at Snape- don't talk to him or even look at him, not even when he asks a question. When he asks why, tell him that you're angry at him for forgetting your birthday." Hmm, not a bad idea. So, I agreed.

Soon, it was time for potions. As opposed to my usual behavior, I was one of the last people to class. When I got there, I slammed my bag on my desk and unpacked as loudly as possible, then sat down, acting agitated. I didn't even look up; I just kept my eyes on the desk and crossed my arms, frowning. There were a few murmurs, ("What's her problem?") but for the most part I was paid no attention. Then, the lesson began and I fought down the urge to stare at Professor Snape, which was very difficult, since his voice was particularly sexy that class. I stared at my desk the whole time, though I listened intently, and at important points of his lecture I snorted loudly. Finally, he began to ask questions.

"Miss Page, how many milliliters of undiluted bubotuber puss would it take to neutralize sixty grams of powdered doxy wings?" Steeling myself, I ignored him, staring down at the desk as if he hadn't said anything at all. After a few moments of silence, I heard soft footsteps slowly approaching. "I wonder, Miss Page, if my voice penetrates that thick skull of yours?" I said nothing in reply. "You will answer me now." I continued to stare at the desk. "Ten points from Ravenclaw. Now, answer me." La, la, la, I can't hear you. "Is there something wrong with you, Miss Page?"

"Yes!" I suddenly burst out, slamming my hands on my desk. I swallowed the fear that was bubbling up at the prospect of my task and the fact that the whole room was staring at me.

"Pardon?" His tone was dangerous now.

"Don't act like you don't know!" I stood up suddenly, knocking my chair over, and glared at him; he looked absolutely furious.

"What are you on about?"

"Do you have any idea what day it is?!?" I shrilled, raising my voice. I must say, I'm a better actress than I thought.

"...Friday?" He still looked ready to strangle me, but also looked slightly bewildered.

"My birthday!" I spat. Now he looked completely bewildered. "My eighteenth birthday! And you forgot! You completely forgot!"

"Miss Page-"

"You're an insensitive, inconsiderate buffoon!" I then proceeded to snatch my bag and storm out of the classroom, sniggering following me as I left. I turned back for a few seconds to look through the crack of the door and saw Professor Snape standing rigid, looking confused and outraged, then continued on my way. I went back to the Ravenclaw common room and spent the rest of the class time doing homework.

At lunch, I was ready to settle down and discuss the SSS with Luna, when Professor Snape approached me. My first feeling was curiosity, which was followed immediately by dread. He stopped in front of me and leaned down close, scowling. I wanted to rape him. "Miss Page," he hissed in that soft, silky voice of his, "I am not quite certain what compelled your outburst in my class, but I will not tolerate such behavior. Twenty points from Ravenclaw, and a detention tonight. Report to my office in the dungeons at eight. Understood?" I nodded. He turned on his heel and stalked off, looking very agitated.

After lunch, I told the story to Ginny and Colin, who both found it very amusing. We pondered the next task together, but came up empty. It was just as well, anyway... I still have to ask him to the Yule Ball, and I think Professor Snape might try to kill me soon, if I keep this up. Although, that isn't exactly anything new. Nothing else really interesting happened the rest of the day.

I arrived that night at Professor Snape's office about five minutes early, only to find that the door was ajar and there were voices drifting out from within the room. I flattened myself against the wall and peered inside, listening carefully to the conversation. "If you ask me, the girl is insane!" Professor Snape was pacing the room, sneering. "It runs in the family, after all!"

"Ah, but Severus, certainly you must remember what it is like to be young and in love." That was... Professor Dumbledore? I saw him follow Professor Snape across the room and out of sight, a bag of yellowish candies in his hand. "Lemon drop?"

"Get that away from me!" he snarled in response. "And no, I certainly do not remember, nor do I wish to. This must be some sort of plot to drive me out of my mind!"

"Now, Severus, not everyone is plotting against you."

"Do you know what that wretched girl did today?"

"Please, enlighten me." Dumbledore sounded rather pleasant.

"She- She shouted at me for forgetting her birthday. Gods, Albus, I don't keep track of my students' birthdays! And she stormed out of my class! That girl is a menace, she's-"

"Severus." Dumbledore gave an amused chuckle. "Try not to get so worked up. I have a simple solution to your problem."

"What?" He sounded wary.

"Apologize to Miss Page. After all, you did forget her birthday. Perhaps a birthday gift would help? I gather she's an avid reader, interested in potions... Like you, Severus." There was a long, tense silence.

"Firstly, Albus," Professor Snape hissed, "I most definitely will not apologize. Secondly, there is no way in hell I am giving that troublesome brat a gift, and thirdly, she is nothing like me."

"Well," Dumbledore replied in a hearty, cheerful tone, "if you change your mind, you can give her this." Ooh, what is it? "I shall see you tomorrow, Severus." There were footsteps, but then they stopped. "Oh, and one more thing."

"Yes?"

"Do try not to fall in love quite yet." Ha! Now Dumbledore was making fun of him! It was hilarious! I could feel the younger professor's anger in the air even from where I stood, which was a very bad place to be at the time, considering Dumbledore was headed straight for me. I stepped away from the door in time to see it swing open, the Headmaster on the other side. "Ah, Miss Page. A very happy birthday to you, my dear." He gave me a smile and a bow as I worked out a feeble thanks, then walked away with more vitality than I've seen in men a quarter of his age.

"Saccharine old fool..." I heard Professor Snape mutter. I peered in to see him holding a package that was neatly wrapped in purple paper, fuming.

"What's that, Professor?" I asked innocently, indicating the package as I approached. His lips thinned and he shoved it into my hands, walking briskly to his desk.

"You are not to open that in my presence," he growled. "Now, I want you to very carefully shell every one of the beetles in these jars." He indicated a row of jars I hadn't seen before, containing shining beetles suspended in greenish liquid. "If you have any trouble, tell me. I do not want you mucking this up." It sounded as if he wanted to use a far worse word than "mucking," which also happened to rhyme with it.

So, I got to work doing as he said. I tried not to push him past the breaking point, since he was so irritated in the first place, but... Damn, I wanted to know what was in that package. I worked as quickly and silently as I could, and managed to finish within a reasonable amount of time, without incurring Professor Snape's wrath once. I cleaned off my hands and, glancing up, saw that he was quite involved in scratching large red X's over some unfortunate student's essay.

With barely contained glee (and keeping one eye on the professor) I opened it as quietly as I could (which was pretty damn quiet, since I've had practice.) I pulled out a thick volume- Moste Potente Potions! Dad has it in his personal collection, but he never let me look at it before. I had a feeling that he had something to do with it. Anyway, I was elated when I saw it. So much that I said, "Moste Potente Potions! Hell, yes!" Which, as one might expect, attracted Professor Snape's attention. Snarling, he descended upon me.

"Where did you-" he suddenly stopped as he caught sight of the discarded wrapping paper, looking angrier than ever.

"Thank you very much, Professor!" I exclaimed. "I forgive you!" I hopped up and, on an impulse, threw my arms around him in a tight (but brief) hug, then made my retreat before he could go into a screaming fit. On my way out, I managed to catch a glimpse of him with that deer-in-headlights look on his face, which provided me with many hearty giggles on my way back to Ravenclaw tower. Ah, what a fantastic birthday.

* ~ December 3 ~ *

Alright, well... I'm sort of in shock. I finally pulled off that task. You know, asking Professor Snape to the Yule Ball. I did it after classes yesterday. I was fairly confident in my ability to get through the situation without being hexed, seeing as rather than trying to rip my head off after the birthday incident, he seemed to be avoiding me. Which is really cute and kind of makes me feel like a stalker. If I wasn't one already. So, allow me to describe the task... And the surprising event afterwards. I.E.: Colin finally growing a backbone.

I nervously knocked on the door to the potions classroom, assuming that Professor Snape would be lingering after his last class. "Enter!" came the agitated voice of the professor. I gulped, then walked into the classroom, trying to muster up some confidence during the trek to his desk. His quill paused in its dance across the parchment and he looked up at me, scowling. "What is it, Miss Page?" I tried to coax myself to relax, but instead settled on hiding my shaking hands behind my back.

"I hope I'm not disturbing anything, Professor."

"Of course you are!" he snapped. "Now, what do you want from me?" Okay, deep breath...

"I'm sure you know of the Yule Ball by now-"

"Fanciful rot, the lot of it," he grumbled, turning back to his parchment.

"Yes, well, be that as it may... Would you accompany me to the dance?" This time, the quill fell onto the desk, splattering some ink. Slowly, his form rigid, he looked up at me, a searching expression in his eyes.

"...Excuse me?"

"I asked you if-"

"I heard you quite clearly the first time," he snapped, a sneer springing onto his face. "And I wonder... What would possess you to ask such a thing of me?" I thought quickly, and decided to settle for innocent ignorance.

"What, did someone ask you already?" I replied, looking disappointed.

"Of course not!" he snarled. "Now get out of my sight!"

"Is that a yes or a no?"

"It is a NO! Now get out!" He looked rather livid, which was sexy, so I backed up a bit, then walked out with as much dignity as I could possibly muster at the moment. When I exited, I sighed, heading up to the Great Hall and feeling... well... Rejected.

"Hey! Nadia! Hold up!" I stopped and waited for Colin to catch up with me. "Are you headed to lunch?" I nodded, my mind lingering on the task I had just carried out. For some reason, although I had expected it, I was rather disappointed that Professor Snape had turned me down. "Oh, well... Er... Could you spare a moment? I want to talk to you..."

"About the task, right?"

"Yeah, sure. Would you come out to the courtyard with me?"

"Sure." I was only half-present when I walked with him out to the courtyard, flurries floating down and coating the ground in a light powder.

"So, uh... How'd it go?" he asked uncomfortably, stopping and turning to face me.

"He said no and told me off, as expected." A grin spread across Colin's face.

"Imagine if he'd said yes?" It would be rather funny, now that I thought of it. We both laughed, but it was kind of feeble. Colin grimaced a bit, rubbing the back of his neck and flushing a bright pink. "So... Er... I was thinking..." I waited silently. "You wanna... I dunno... Go to the Yule Ball with... me?" I was expecting it, but I was still taken by surprise. After all, I didn't think he'd ever get up the nerve to ask me. I studied Colin for a moment; he's always been rather cute, and he looked quite endearing with snowflakes stuck in his hair and on his eyelashes. He was starting to look worried about my hesitation.

"Alright," I finally answered.

"...Really?" he breathed, his eyes widening.

"Yes," I insisted, smiling a bit. Suddenly, I was being crushed in a tight hug; it was fortunate that it didn't last long, though, because I was starting to lose my breath.

"I'll- I'll meet you in the entrance hall, then? Quarter to eight?" I nodded.

"Sure, that sounds good." His smile was so radiant that it was almost blinding.

"Great! I- er- can't wait." I nodded.

"Yes, same here." There was a long, tense silence.

"So," he muttered, rocking back on his heels. "Er... I should... Get some homework done. I'll... See you, then."

"Right." Before he went, I kissed him on the cheek, and he blushed deeply, displaying a rather goofy grin as he wandered off.

Well, that was basically it. I think it was a bit anticlimactic, but that's what the Yule Ball is for, I suppose. I sighed, made my way off to the common room, and lo and behold, bumped into Professor Lupin, who seemed to be in a rather chatty mood. "Oh, hello, Nadia," he greeted. "How are you?" You should be able to guess my reply. "Wonderful. I heard last week was your birthday?" I nodded. "Ah, congratulations. Anything else new?"

"Colin finally started acting like a Gryffindor," I informed him. At his inquisitive look, I elaborated. "He asked me to the Yule Ball."

"Ah, how wonderful."

"Thanks." I smiled, the awkwardness from the few minutes with Colin finally seeping out of my system. "Do you have a date, Professor?"

"Er- no- not exactly." He blushed, clearing his throat.

"Well, I'd introduce you to a nice young man, but the only suitable, single man I can think of is my uncle Kristo, and he just happens to be a drunken priest. Which doesn't seem like your type, if you don't mind my saying so." He chuckled appreciatively.

"No, most certainly not. Thank you for the consideration, though."

After exchanging a few more pleasantries, we were on our separate ways. I managed to get back to my dorm and take a nice, long nap, follow by a nice, long bath in the prefects' bathroom. Ah, I just gotta love the perks. Now, I'm off to write some epic homosexual romance. Perhaps about Professors Snape and Lupin, heehee. Off I go!