Rating:
PG-13
House:
Riddikulus
Characters:
Harry Potter
Genres:
Parody Romance
Era:
Multiple Eras
Spoilers:
Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire Order of the Phoenix Quidditch Through the Ages Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
Stats:
Published: 09/01/2003
Updated: 09/01/2003
Words: 4,030
Chapters: 1
Hits: 1,419

Time After Time

Marie Goos

Story Summary:
A parody of Hermione time turner fics (though I enjoy the occasional well written one) in which Harry travels back to MWPP times instead of Hermione. A new look (I like to think, at least) at Harry/Severus slash. Also includes a bit of Sirius/Remus.

Chapter 01

Posted:
09/01/2003
Hits:
1,419
Author's Note:
Ahhh, another new story... This is basically a parody and it will inevitably contain SLASH as in HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS so if you're opposed to that... Just don't say I didn't warn you. Anyway, this one is slow going and I actually have a few other stories in the works, so don't expect really frequent updates... Then again, I never update frequently. :P Mleh. So, enjoy, have fun, and if you see fit, review.


Time After Time

By Marie Goos

Chapter 1: The Incident

Hermione Granger looked at the shiny new time turner around her neck, feeling very pleased with herself. She had worked hard to become Head Girl, and had gotten into all the N.E.W.T. classes it was possible for her to take, but her new duties conflicted with her very full schedule, despite the newfound time she had since Harry Potter had defeated Voldemort. Which, of course, is an entirely different story, so let's just leave it be. Hermione, having such a pristine reputation, had been allowed to keep a time turner in order to juggle everything. So far, it had been working spectacularly. Unlike in her third year, she had told Ron Weasley and Harry about it immediately, and they had accepted it without asking to use it for pranks or sneaking around, which she appreciated.

It had been extremely useful, and Hermione had used it responsibly, just as she was supposed to, and kept it safely tucked beneath her sweater where no one could see it. When she went to sleep at night, she would take it off and store it safely in the drawer of her bedside table, and every morning she would put it back on. All in all, it was a very efficient tool.

However, the time turner, unknown to anyone, was to be more trouble than it was worth, for many a person.

It all started when Hermione was in potions class, working avidly on an advanced healing potion with Harry. Ron had not been accepted into the N.E.W.T. level potions class, though he hadn't seem upset at all about it; not that anyone could blame him. Professor Severus Snape was the most feared and hated teacher in the entire school, and everyone except the Slytherins hated him. The Slytherins themselves were only partial to him because he was Head of Slytherin house, and very biased.

Hermione leaned over the potion checking its color. "Careful, Hermione," Harry warned, just as the time turned fell out of her sweater. "You'd better keep that tucked in," he said wisely. Well, not really. We all know that Harry's never been quite all there.

"Yes, indeed." Everyone gasped (well, not really, only Harry... But he killed Voldemort, so he's the only one who matters.) Harry gasped as Snape swept up behind them, surveying them with a sneer. He looked at the time turner as if it was a disgusting pile of shit, then stalked off, looking more agitated than before.

"What's wrong with him?" Hermione muttered.

"He's just got something stuck up his ass," Harry replied, unconcerned. He glanced at Snape, who was in the process of checking Draco Malfoy's progress. He frowned at the sight of his arch nemesis being favored by his most hated teacher, but returned to the potion. Little did he know, Draco had seen him looking in his direction, and was extremely offended.

'Just because I'm beautiful, it doesn't mean he can stare,' Draco thought indignantly, tossing his hair as everyone who could see swooned. Except Snape. Snape doesn't swoon.

It was after potions class, as Harry and Hermione walked out of their classroom and into the dungeon corridor, that the trouble really started. Harry accidentally bumped into Draco, just lightly, only nudging him, and Draco sneered. "Watch where you're going, Potter," he snapped. "I swear, looking at that ugly mudblood all the time must have impaired your already poor vision." Harry scowled, moving in on Draco.

"Don't you dare say that word," he growled. Hermione grabbed him by the arm to pull him back.

"Perhaps if your father was still alive he could teach you to hang around the right crowds," Draco went on smugly.

"At least my father wasn't a Death Eater," Harry spat. The smirk that Draco had been wearing quickly disappeared and he withdrew his wand, pointing it at Harry. Harry, ready to retaliate, pulled his arm up and out of Hermione's grasp. However, his hand got caught in the chain to her time turner, and before he'd realized it, he'd snapped it off her neck. Surprised by this, Harry was taken off guard, and Draco seized his opportunity.

"No fighting in the halls," Snape said half-heartedly, since he was there.

"Accelerare!" Draco shouted. Harry, being the bright young man that he was, held out his hands in front of him, the chain wrapped around his wrist whipping wildly. This movement caused the time turner to spin over and around and all sorts of ways, because it must for plot progression. Draco's spell, coincidentally, hit the time turner. Everyone watched with shock and horror as Harry Potter, the boy who lived, blinked out of existence. "Oops," Draco said in a small voice.

"Detention," Snape said in the same half-hearted voice. "And the same for you, Miss Granger. I'll be on my way to the Headmaster, then." He swept off, a pronounced frown on his face. Hermione watched him go, then ran off to find Ron.

He was in the Gryffindor common room, gathering his books for charms, when Hermione found him. "Ron!" she shouted. He looked around, smiling broadly at her. However, his smile faltered when he saw the expression on her face. "Harry's gone!" Ron's mouth fell open.

"What?" he asked incredulously What do you mean, 'gone?'" Hermione quickly relayed the tale of what had happened after potions class, Ron looking increasingly horrified as she went on. "That's horrible!" he exclaimed when she was finished.

"Snape went off to tell Dumbledore about it," she said. "Maybe he'll know what to do." Ron nodded, looking worried.

"I swear, if Harry's hurt, I'll snap Malfoy's neck," he growled. He would have continued, but he was interrupted when Professor Minerva McGonagall, Head of Gryffindor house, walked through the portrait hole into the common room. She strode over to Ron and Hermione, her lips set in a thin line.

"Miss Granger, Mr. Weasley, I'll need the two of you to accompany me to the Headmaster's office." They both nodded mutely, following her out of the common room. She led them up a few floors, then stopped at a stone gargoyle in the middle of a corridor. "Licorice wands," she said grimly. The gargoyle sprang to life and hopped aside, allowing them to enter. They walked up a moving spiral staircase and through large oak doors into Headmaster Albus Dumbledore's circular office. Dumbledore and Snape were both waiting for them when they arrived. Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk, sucking thoughtfully on a lemon drop, while Snape stood off to the side, his arms crossed and his expression somber.

"Ah, yes... Ron, Hermione," he addressed them, "please have a seat." Ron and Hermione sat in chairs before Dumbledore's desk. "Lemon drop?" he offered them a bag filled with yellow candies, but they both turned him down. "Well, Hermione... Please relate to us your version of the events leading up to Harry's disappearance." Hermione took a deep breath, and, trying to ignore Snape's penetrating gaze, told Dumbledore exactly what she had told Ron. Dumbledore looked pensively down at his hands, then sighed heavily. "I know exactly what has happened to young Harry," he informed them.

"What?" Ron asked anxiously, forgetting himself. "What happened to Harry? Where is he? How do we get him back?" Dumbledore closed his eyes for a moment, then looked at them with a mixture of sympathy and sadness.

"Although I am fairly sure that Harry will make it back, I am not quite sure when. Nor am I entirely sure how. Nor am I completely certain of whether he'll really make it back to this time. You see, Harry has been sent back in time, several years." Hermione and Ron gaped.

"Where is he?" Ron asked absently.

"When is he?" Hermione corrected. Dumbledore looked pointedly at each of them in turn.

"Harry has been sent back to the year 1977." Ron's mouth fell open as he gaped at Dumbledore, while Hermione's gaze flitted over to Snape, who was looking distinctly uncomfortable and trying to avoid looking at anyone. "He will remain in 1977 and 1978 for quite some time, at least on his part; throughout most of the school year."

"But," Hermione said faintly, "that means he'll be with- with-"

"James," Dumbledore finished for her. "His father." There was a deafening silence. "I am sure that the two of you will need time to process this." They both nodded. "You may go back to your common room. You don't need to go to any more classes today." Ron and Hermione stood and left, still feeling quite shocked and dazed.

"This is the most horrible experience of my life," Snape growled as he watched them go.

"Now, now, Severus," Dumbledore replied, unwrapping a lemon drop. "I'm sure you must be exaggerating." Snape only grunted as he swept out of the office after his students.

"Albus?" McGonagall asked.

"Yes?"

"What will happen when Mr. Potter returns?" Dumbledore sighed heavily, shaking his head.

"I do not know, Minerva. I most certainly do not know."

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

Harry groaned, slowly blinking his eyes open, trying to focus them as he sat up. He had blacked out, probably because of the combined effects of Draco's curse and the time turner. Speaking of which... It lay broken by his side. Harry slowly stood up, picking up the broken pieces of the little hourglass and placing them in his pocket. He was in the dungeons, and nothing seemed to have changed, except for the fact that he was the only one present. He slowly looked around, checking for Snape or any bored Slytherins. He figured that he had only been sent forward a few hours to lunch, or maybe back a few hours to breakfast, which would explain the lack of other students.

Supporting his weight against the wall, Harry slowly stood up, a spell of dizziness taking over his body. He closed his eyes tightly and leaned against the wall for a bit, until he felt his balance returning, then stood up straight. He supposed he should find the Headmaster and explain what had happened, especially since the time turner was broken, and Hermione would definitely need a new one.

Harry heavily walked out of the dungeons, trudging up the staircase and into the entrance hall. The muffled sound of a thousand voices was coming from the closed double doors that led into the Great Hall, and the high arched windows by the entrance to the castle showed that it was already evening. Speaking of which, Harry's stomach was rumbling quite loudly. He thought that since the Headmaster would be at dinner anyway, it couldn't hurt to grab a bite to eat before he told his story. So, he headed for the Great Hall.

Harry reached the double doors and swung one open, trying to unobtrusively sidle into the large room. However, since the doors were so massive and noisy, such a thing was impossible. He was spared a few glances from some people he didn't recognize, but they quickly turned back to their dinners or conversations, disregarding him. Harry slowly made his way toward the Gryffindor table, scanning it for Hermione and Ron, but to no avail... Come to think of it, he didn't really recognize any of the people at the Gryffindor table... Except... His eyes widened as he saw himself sitting at the table, turned in the opposite direction and talking animatedly with another boy who looked to be a few years younger. Harry thought at first, as he approached himself, that he must have gone back a day or so. He didn't notice the three other mischievous looking boys and one redheaded girl who were also sitting in the area.

Forgetting that encountering yourself in the past or future was very dangerous business, Harry approached himself from behind as stealthily as he could. No one took any notice of him, except maybe Dumbledore, who was looking at him with an expression of utmost curiosity. Slowly, carefully, Harry made his way to his other self, stopping directly behind him. "Hello, Harry," he said pleasantly. His other self ignored him. 'How rude,' Harry thought. So, Harry leaned down next to his other self's ear and said in a low voice, "Boo." The other Harry jumped a bit then whirled around- and promptly screamed very loudly, and in a very high-pitched voice.

Harry jumped back, covering his ears and wincing. But, he couldn't help but notice that his other self was wearing a pair of wire rim glasses, instead of his normal round black ones. And that this other self had no lightning bolt shaped scar. And most of all, that this other self had narrower eyes than him, which happened to be brown. This other self, in fact wasn't an other self; it was his father. James Potter. Upon realizing this, Harry screamed as well, though not as girlish, and for a much shorter period of time. That was when he felt a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Ah, yes, hello, young man," came the pleasant voice of a twenty years younger Albus Dumbledore. "I've been expecting you- the exchange from Durmstrang, yes?" Harry blinked, then turned around and stared blankly at Dumbledore. "I'm sorry, but I can't seem to quite recall your name."

"Er... Harry Potter," he replied absently.

"Ah, yes, Harry! Well, if you and James will accompany me to my office, we can have you settled in and down here in time for dessert. Come along." Dumbledore swept off, and Harry was left helpless, his only choice to follow, along with his father. James kept his distance from Harry, casting him furtive glances every now and then. Harry, meanwhile, kept his eyes on the floor, trying not to look at his father. His father, who was finally right there in front of him. Who he could finally reach out and touch, but wouldn't. "Sugar quills." Dumbledore led the two almost identical teenagers up the spiral staircase and to his office, where he sat behind his desk and offered them seats, which they took.

"Er... Professor? What's going on?" James asked warily, glancing at Harry.

"I would like to know that, myself," Dumbledore said, pointedly staring at Harry over his half-moon spectacles. In response, Harry reached into his pocket and produced the broken pieces of the time turner, placing them on Dumbledore's desk.

"I came from 1997, professor," he said quietly. Dumbledore adjusted his spectacles, looking down at the device, then looked back to Harry.

"And I suppose that would make James here your father?" Harry nodded mutely. He could hear James gasp and start choking on his own saliva. Dumbledore looked thoughtful. "This is a very serious matter," he said slowly. "We must consider the fact that there is no known way to return you to your own time, Harry." Harry could feel the blood draining from his face. "We also must consider that there may be a way that we do not yet know of to get you back to your home. It will take time, though." Harry nodded. "In the meantime, you will attend classes here at Hogwarts." Dumbledore paused to survey Harry's robes. "It appears as though you are in Gryffindor house, so we will leave well enough alone. I trust that is alright with you two?" Harry nodded mutely.

"Yes, Professor," James choked out, staring at Harry.

"I must warn you two that you must not, under any circumstances, inform anyone else of this situation. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Professor," Harry answered. "But... Won't people notice the similarities?" James nodded, agreeing with Harry's argument.

"I have already been thinking about that," Dumbledore replied. "You will provide any inquisitive teachers or students with this story: Harry is James' twin brother, who has transferred here from Durmstrang."

"But... I've never mentioned a brother before," James pointed out. "And my friends have spent plenty of summers at my house. Hell- Sirius even lived with me!"

"You were separated at birth," Dumbledore provided simply. "Now, let us get back down to the feast- I wouldn't want to miss out on any of that delicious spotted dick!" He ushered them out of the office, then swept down the hallway, eager for some spotted dick. Harry and James looked at each other for a long time.

"Well..." James said uncomfortably. "At least I know I won't die a virgin."

"This is probably the strangest thing that's ever happened to me..." Harry muttered, glancing at James. "Well, actually... It's not. But it's up there." This was followed by a long, awkward silence as they made their way back to dinner.

"I suppose you should sit with me and my friends," James said hesitantly, after a while. "I mean... We could get to know each other." Harry nodded.

"I'd like that." He was getting that warm, fuzzy feeling inside. James suddenly stopped walking, blinking slowly. Harry stopped, too, staring at him. After a while, James told Harry what had suddenly struck him.

"Back up a minute. What could possibly be stranger than this?" he asked slowly.

"Getting rescued from giant talking spiders by an enchanted Ford Anglia after being told to follow normal spiders into the Forbidden Forest by a half-giant?" Harry suggested.

"...Touche." They walked a bit longer in silence, before James spoke again. "You know, this is truly strange. I mean... Meeting my future son and all." Harry nodded.

"I'll admit, it feels rather weird, meeting my teenaged dad." He glanced at James, who looked back, and afforded him a genuine smile.

"Glad you turned out so handsome, though," he said, ruffling his hair and putting on a pouting look. Harry sniggered at him, merely because he had looked absolutely ridiculous. When they finally made it back to the great hall, they sat down at the Gryffindor table as if nothing at all had happened, least of all a crazy mix-up with a time turner.

"Hey, James!" Sirius (Harry felt his heart wrench) looked up at them, grinning, then did a double-take, his expression changing to one of utter shock. "And... James... Number two..." James cleared his throat, indicating Harry.

"This is Harry Potter. He's my long lost twin brother, who has transferred here from Durmstrang. I command you all to love him instantly and ask no more questions." Remus, who had suddenly whipped out a quill and a piece of parchment, then scribbled furiously on it, paused to look up from his activity.

"So it is written," he proclaimed, "so it shall be done." And Peter pissed his pants. Well, not really... He just spilled some pumpkin juice in a very suspicious place. But those of you who wish otherwise can just pretend.

"So, Harry, is it?" Sirius looked Harry over, then gave him a smile. "You have my approval. Except for those terrible glasses- gods, where did they come from?"

"My Aunt and Uncle bought them for me in a dollar store," Harry replied unconcernedly, shrugging. Sirius suddenly turned to James, confused.

"Oi, I don't remember any of your relatives being so stingy," he commented, looking confused.

"Oh!" Harry interrupted nervously. "My Aunt and Uncle- those are the people who took me in after I was, er... Switched at birth. It was a, er... Single mother, widowed, and her... her real baby died, and so did she, so... Er... I was passed off to her sister." Sirius nodded knowingly.

"Well, I know what it's like to have a horrid family, believe me." He wrinkled his nose. James, sensing a mushy (and all too early in the story) scene, loudly coughed.

"Ahem. Well, Harry, let me introduce you to my friends. You've met Sirius Black, already." Sirius beamed at him. "The scribe here is Remus Lupin-" Remus gave him a nod and a small smile- "and here's Peter Pettigrew... Hey, did you piss your pants?" Peter shook his head furiously, a distressed look coming over his face.

"It's pumpkin juice!" he exclaimed.

"Wow," Sirius sniggered, "and you didn't even have to break out the snitch, James."

"It's not funny," Peter muttered sullenly, crossing his arms as the four boys around him sniggered appreciatively at the comment.

"So," Harry said, after the laughter was through, "I haven't got a schedule. What's our first class tomorrow?"

"Double potions with the Slytherins," Remus answered immediately, his voice devoid of all emotion. Sirius let out a whoop.

"Finally, those dungbombs won't be burning a hole in my pocket anymore!" He turned to Harry, grinning. "They'll be great for getting that greasy Slytherin git, Snape. Wait until you see him, Harry, he looks like he fell into a giant vat of oil, the great prat!"

"Eep!" Peter suddenly squeaked, giving Harry the urge to punch him, considering what his future self had done to his parents and godfather. "He's looking at us!" Peter immediately sank down in his seat, his eyes poking over the edge of the table and nervously darting between his plate and the Slytherin table. Harry followed his gaze across the room, and found himself staring straight into the black eyes of seventeen year old Severus Snape. He glared at Harry a bit, then turned back down to his meal. Harry blinked in slight confusion; he hadn't even received a smirk or a sneer, which he would have gotten from Malfoy any day. Which suddenly reminded him of what he'd seen his fifth year... Of how much Snape had seemed to have in common with him.

"Look at the slimy git," James commented lightly, "not even the other Slytherins want to be near him." He chortled, then shoved a treacle tart into his mouth.

"Yeah, they're probably afraid that he'll grease them up," Sirius agreed, grinning as he grabbed a piece of pie. Peter let out a little squeak of agreement, coming up from beneath the table and looking sheepish. Remus seemed rather interested in his spotted dick, though, and didn't say a word, instead concentrating on eating it with the utmost precision. Harry decided to follow Remus' example and turned to his pudding, clamping his mouth shut.

"So," Remus finally interrupted, after Sirius and James had gotten into a discussion of what was more greasy, an oil spill or Snape's head, "where is Harry going to sleep?"

"Oh, I'm sure Dumbledore added another bed," James replied, unconcerned.

"We should start telling Harry what it's like to live here at Hogwarts," Remus went on, obviously not wanting to return to the previous discussion. This set Sirius and James off on a sudden and detailed description of who was who and what was what at Hogwarts, with occasional input from Remus and Peter. They talked about girls, (James mostly mentioning Lily Evans) about boys (but not in a romantic sense) and about pranks and secret passages, and good hiding places. They also talked about classes and teachers, a few of them familiar to Harry (Binns, Flitwick, McGonagall, and Sprout) and a few of them not. By the time the boys were making their way up to their dormitory for bed, Harry had gotten his ear talked off, but he didn't mind a bit.

When they arrived in the dormitory, Harry found that James had been right, and a fifth bed had been added to the room, along with a trunk. Harry walked over to the bed and flopped down on it, sighing. Traveling through time was tiring business, and he was looking forward to a nice, long night of sleep. He was barely aware of the conversation around him as he slipped into the pajamas that had been laid out on the bed and climbed under the sheets, sighing again as he drifted off to sleep, and had some crazy nightmare, as he always did.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

So, that's it for chapter one. In the next chapter we'll see Harry going to classes with the Marauders, and see some more Severus. Perhaps implied Sirius/Remus... But might hold off on that. ...Review now.