It's Not Easy Being Green

Year Two

-------Severus--------

Nathanyel smiled. "Your hair grew out a lot, you know." Severus compulsively reached up to touch his hair, biting his lip. It was shoulder-length, already. "Are you going to grow it long again?"

"...No." He might as well not bother. "This is a good length."

"Yeah. It looks really nice." Severus resisted the urge to touch it again.

"Thanks." For some strange reason, he was glad that Nathanyel thought it looked nice. "Yeah, it's fine this way." The train shook a bit as it hit a rough spot in the tracks.

---------------

"This year's going to be so much fun!" Nathanyel exclaimed, jumping onto Severus' bed. Evan Rosier rolled his eyes and promptly exited the door with a disgusted look on his face.

"You're going to get me in deep shit with the other boys," Severus informed him. Nathanyel just shrugged, smiling obliviously.

"I'm thinking of joining some clubs. Not Quidditch, of course, I don't much like Quidditch, and it doesn't like me... But maybe Charms club! Ooh, or Dueling Club!"

"I don't think Dueling club would be a good idea for you," Severus replied, feeling rather apprehensive of the whole idea. "After all... You don't exactly fight fair, from what I've seen."

"So? Who cares? Nobody actually fights fair in a real duel."

"How chivalrous of you."

"Come on, join the Charms club with me."

"I'd rather not."

"Do they have a Potions club?"

"No."

"We should start one."

"Nathanyel." Severus reached up to massage his temples. "Please. Just go to bed." Nathanyel shrugged.

"Alright." Then he bounded out of the room, looking much too excited. Nott and Avery sniggered a bit, but Severus ignored them. It was his own business if he wanted Nathanyel as a friend. And he did. He really, really did.

---------------

"BOO!"

"ARGH!!"

"Hah, I got you good, Dung!"

"Did you put a Bat Bogie curse on yourself just to scare me?"

"Yes."

"Do you know how to remove it?"

"Nope!" Nathanyel bounded over to Severus, looking both very happy and very deformed. "I'm glad to be back, aren't you?" Severus slowly surveyed the dimly lit common, deciding that he most certainly was.

"Yes. And this year I get to go into Hogsmeade."

"And you start all those extra classes! You're taking Ancient Runes, right?" Severus nodded. "Oh, you have to let me look at your notes!"

"Here. You can do my homework, too, while you're at it."

"Alright!" Severus shook his head.

"You're unbelievable."

"Thanks."

"Finite Incantatem."

---------------

"I've just realized... I don't know your middle name." Nathanyel shrugged.

"If you tell me yours, I'll tell you mine." Severus rolled his eyes.

"Fine. Don't repeat this to anyone, alright?" Nathanyel grinned.

"Promise!"

"Alright. It's..." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "...Alfonso." Nathanyel snorted.

"That's not so bad. Try Bartolomeu."

"That isn't bad at all!"

"Oh yes it is!" Severus let out a long sigh, falling back on his bed.

"Better than Alfonso."

"Hmph." Nathanyel lay down next to him and grabbed his hand. "Better than a lot of possibilities, really. Like... Say... Gordon."

"Or Melvin," Severus muttered.

"Or Severus."

"You're an idiot." But it was said with some affection.

"I really must be, if I've decided to hang around you all the time." Nathanyel pressed up against his side and burrowed his head into his neck. "Pet me?"

"...What?"

"Lucius always pets me. Like this." He took Severus' hand and placed it in his hair.

"That's stupid." But Severus did it anyway, because he didn't want to hurt Nathanyel's feelings. After all, Nathanyel got rather irritating when his feelings were hurt. "Your hair's soft."

"Thanks." And Nathanyel purred, just a bit. Then he fell asleep. When he started to get hard, Severus decided he'd had enough, and left.

---------------

Severus sighed, sitting down next to Nathanyel on his bed. Black and Fletcher were obviously out for Quidditch practice, as one of them was a new beater and the other a new chaser. He forgot which was which. "Severus? What's wrong?" Severus bit his lip, deciding to just get it over with and ask his question.

"Today we did boggarts in Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"Oh. That's nice."

"Yes. And it- it made me wonder... Remember what you told me? About being locked in the closet with that boggart?" Nathanyel nodded, starting to look apprehensive. "Well, I was wondering... Wondering what your boggart was."

"What was yours?" Severus flushed.

"It's embarrassing, really."

"Tell me."

"It... It was nothing..."

"Fine, then I won't tell you mine." Severus let out a long sigh, and rolled his eyes.

"Alright, alright." He couldn't believe he was saying it. "It was... It was... I was alone. I was all alone." He cast his eyes towards the ground. "I know it's stupid. I'm just... Really stupid."

"No you aren't. A lot of people are afraid of being alone. It's alright." Except for Nathanyel, there wasn't really anyone who cared about him. So... He was afraid of not having Nathanyel around. And that was the most embarrassing part of it.

"Tell me what the boggart was for you, then." Nathanyel got that distant look on his face he always adopted when he was telling a story.

"Well, I think it knew I'd be there for a while... So... It turned into a lot of different things. They got scarier as it went on."

"Did... Did it get to... What you were most afraid of?" Nathanyel nodded. "What was it?" He remained silent. "Tell me." Taking a deep breath, Nathanyel slowly raised his hand... And pointed. Severus turned in the direction he was pointing, only to see a mirror. "It was a mirror?" he asked, puzzled.

"No," Nathanyel whispered. "It was... Him." He continued to point at his own reflection. "Me." Severus wasn't quite sure what to think of it.

"Why?"

"I can't be sure." He looked away, and Severus could tell that he wasn't entirely telling the truth.

---------------

"Hey, Severus." Nathanyel smiled at him.

"How was Charms club?"

"It was fun. I met someone new; he's in your years, Ravenclaw."

"Who?"

"Luca Lovegood. He's very nice."

"Luca Lovegood? He's a complete loon!"

"So what? I'm a loon, too. Us loons have to stick together, you know."

"But you'll seem even more loony." Nathanyel just shrugged, while Severus glared at him.

"It doesn't matter." Severus rolled his eyes, exasperated.

"You don't know anything."

"I know a lot more than you think." Nathanyel edged a bit closer to him and took his hand. "I know a ton of hexes." He didn't bother to pull away.

"You're so tiresome."

"I've also decided to learn Italian. Lucius taught me to say, 'scopami nel ano.'"

"What does that mean?"

"Fuck me in the arse. He's such a joker."

"Nathanyel..." Severus let out a long-suffering sigh. "Just shut up."

-------Nathanyel--------

"Severus? What are you doing?" With a small gasp, Severus pulled the sheets of his bed up to cover himself, though not before Nathanyel had caught a quick glimpse of what lay underneath. He thought he'd seen something very surprising, but dismissed it as a figment of his imagination.

"Do you mind?" he growled.

"No, not really," Nathanyel replied airily. "So what are you doing?"

"I'm wanking!"

"Wanking?" Nathanyel tilted his head to the side, the word ringing a bell.

"You do know what wanking is, right?" Ah, he remembered.

"Yes. Lucius explained it to me." He straightened himself a bit. "It's when you touch your prick while you think of boys, right?"

"Wha- NO!!"

"Yes it is," Nathanyel protested.

"No, I wasn't thinking of boys!"

"Then, obviously, you weren't wanking." Nathanyel thought that the matter was settled, then, but Severus continued to argue.

"But there's more than one way of doing it!"

"Oh?" Nathanyel raised an eyebrow, the way Severus did when he was skeptical. "What way were you doing it, then?"

"The straight way!" He blinked, a bit put off.

"You mean there's a crooked way?"

"No! That's not what I mean!" Nathanyel rolled his eyes, deciding that Severus had no idea what he was talking about.

"Fine, suit yourself." He plopped down on the bed, surprised by the strange something nudging at his leg from under the covers. Surely it couldn't be...

"Excuse me!!"

"You're excused." Nathanyel tried to lift up the sheets to get a better look at it. If it was what he thought it was...

"Get off me!!" Severus pushed him away. "Are you trying to look!?"

"Well there's something extra under there and I wanted to see what it was!" Severus went from outraged to bewildered in mere seconds.

"What?"

"Ha!" Nathanyel bunched up the sheets and tossed them away, and- it really was what he'd thought it was. "Merlin, look at it!"

"ARGH!!" Severus rolled off the bed and landed on the floor with a loud thud.

"Are you alright?"

"Get away from me!" Severus hopped up, pulling his shirt down over his goods, and made a beeline for the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

"It's not that embarrassing!" Nathanyel called after him.

"You're a fucking poof!" Severus shouted back through the door. Nathanyel just shrugged and, realizing that Severus was rather confused and needed some time alone, ventured down to the common room to finish his homework.

---------------

"Are you still angry at me?" It was morning already, and Severus still wouldn't leave the bathroom.

"Go away!" Nathanyel rolled his eyes. Severus could be very immature sometimes.

"Just leave him alone," Evan Rosier advised. "He's insecure because HE LOVES THE COCK!!" There was growling from the bathroom.

"Heheh, Snape's a poofter," Avery muttered to himself.

"Yeah, a flaming fruit cake," Nott chuckled.

"Enough of that," Evan snapped, because he was the leader. "Anyway, Page, best of luck to you. You'll need it." Then, whispering and guffawing to each other, the three of them left for breakfast. Nathanyel sighed forlornly.

"Severus, I'm forlorn," he announced.

"Get away from me!"

"I wasn't trying to look at your penis," Nathanyel snapped. "I just wanted to see what you were doing." There was silence. "Fine, be a bastard." Severus really was being awfully unreasonable. "I'll just be sitting here, waiting for you to come out."

He waited until lunch time, but Severus finally came out, his stomach rumbling. "You're an idiot," he grumbled, but Nathanyel knew he was sorry.

"Let's go eat." And they did.

--------------

They were in the library, trying to find a table to study at, when he saw Remus. "Hi, Remus!" Nathanyel called out. Remus jumped a bit and looked around as Severus started growling.

"H-hullo," he replied nervously, eyes darting briefly to Severus and back again. Nathanyel smiled.

"Do you want to study with us?"

"No!" Severus snapped.

"Don't listen to Sev, he's just paranoid." Remus glanced at Severus again and blushed.

"I- I really shouldn't."

"Oh, come on. Let's go in the back, no one will see!" Before Remus had a chance to protest, Nathanyel grabbed his arm and dragged him away. Severus followed, growling and swearing under his breath.

They found a table in the back of the library that was nice and secluded, and started with potions. Severus was rather angry that Remus had decided to sit next to him, but after a while his grumbling subsided. "I'm crap at potions," Remus sighed. "Sn- Severus, could you..." Severus glared at him. "...Never mind."

"I'll help you," Nathanyel offered. He really didn't understand why Severus hated Remus so much.

"But you're a year below us, you haven't learned it yet."

"Oh, pish posh. How hard could it be?" He leaned over the table, chewing his lip as he read over the notes. It wasn't so difficult, really. Nothing his father didn't shout angrily about all the time. "The wolfsbane neutralized the doxy poison," he concluded.

"How do you know?" Remus asked doubtfully.

"Well, wolfsbane neutralizes most poisons, so I put it in Sev's food whenever he visits." Remus blinked, looking a bit put off.

"Oh."

"Don't tell people our business," Severus snarled angrily.

"You sound like my mother," Nathanyel taunted in return, grinning.

"No I don't!" Nathanyel just chuckled. With a growl, Severus turned back to his work, gritting his teeth. Nathanyel only rolled his eyes, quite aware that Severus was completely overreacting. Remus shifted in his seat and turned back to his notes.

There was silence for a very long time, during which Severus seemed to calm down considerably. Nathanyel was relieved, because Severus could get rather irritating when he was all worked up. Remus, however, seemed to be getting progressively more fidgety. He kept glancing up at Nathanyel, then at Severus, then back down at his notes.

"I could use some work on my History of Magic assignment," Nathanyel finally sighed, looking up in time to see Remus shift in his seat again. Severus, who had been writing furiously, dropped his quill, looking for all the world like a deer caught in the headlights of the Knight Bus. "I think-"

"Get away from me!" Severus jumped out of his seat and backed away from Remus, his jaw clenched so tightly that a muscle in it was twitching.

"I- I'm sorry," Remus stuttered, quickly standing up and packing his things. He was blushing quite deeply and had that guilty look the servants always got when they were caught with Lucius.

"Get out of here you- you poof!" Severus seemed rather shaken up.

"I'm sorry!" Remus wailed as his bag tore, spilling its contents. He looked on the verge of tears.

"You're a disgusting pervert!" Severus roared, tightly gripping his wand. "Don't you come near me!" Abandoning his fruitless attempt at gathering up his things and ran off at full speed, ducking his head in what Nathanyel suspected was shame.

Severus stood against the bookshelf, red in the face and panting as if he'd just run the perimeter of the Quidditch pitch. "There was no need to shout like that," Nathanyel murmured, standing up and sighing. He didn't like it when Severus lost his temper.

"He- he- put his hand on my knee!" Severus was still holding his wand so tightly that his knuckles were white.

"Calm down," Nathanyel advised, kneeling to pick up Remus' things. "And loosen your grip."

"W-what are you doing? Don't tell me you're on his side!"

"I'm not on anyone's side but my own," Nathanyel replied evenly, carefully packing away Remus' discarded possessions in his own bag. "I happen to think that there's nothing wrong with liking other boys."

"What is with you!? Just because Lucius does something, you think it's right!?"

"Lucius does a lot of things that aren't right." He stood again and started packing his own things. "But that doesn't mean that everything he does is wrong. And it doesn't mean there's something wrong with Remus."

"You really are insane!" Severus burst out. "This is Lupin we're talking about! He hangs around with Potter and Black, he's a Gryffindor!"

"I don't judge a person's character by who his friends are or how he likes boys. Remus is alright, I can tell."

"If you think he's so wonderful, then why don't you run off with him!? I'm sure you two would be very happy together, fucking each other in the arse!" It was the first time Nathanyel had ever truly been angry at Severus, and he didn't like it.

"SHUT UP!" And he did, looking surprised. "What are you so worried about, anyway!? What if I turned out to like boys, would you hate me, too!? Would you scream at me and hex me and call me names!?" He glared at Severus, waiting for an answer.

"...Do you like boys?" Severus finally asked, very quietly. He pressed himself a little more tightly against the book case.

"I don't know," Nathanyel snapped at him, his blood still boiling. "I don't like anyone, yet. But maybe one day I will! What then?" He lowered his voice, working hard to keep it from shaking. "What if I end up doing things with boys? What if I like it? Would you be afraid of me? Would you keep your back against the wall, just in case?" He dropped his voice even more, his throat burning. "Like you're doing now?" He really felt horrible; all he wanted to do was melt into the floor.

"But Nathanyel..." Severus protested weakly. "It's wrong."

"Severus, please... It isn't wrong..." Nathanyel stepped forward, and reached out to touch him. He flinched away, and Nathanyel recoiled, feeling as if he'd just been slapped. "Well... Fine then. I'm going." He turned to leave. "And... And if you see me in the common room... Don't bother talking to me."

"Oh yeah?" Nathanyel nodded, walking away. "Well- fine!" Severus called after him. "I won't talk to you, ever again! Fucking poof!" Nathanyel didn't suck his head the way Remus had; he remembered what Lucius had told him, about pride. Always keep your back straight and your head high. Even when it felt too heavy to hold up.

---------------

Severus was true to his word, and worked tirelessly at avoiding Nathanyel. Meanwhile, Nathanyel was finding out just how difficult it was to get Remus alone long enough to return his things. Somehow, though, he managed it. In the library, of course. "Remus." He froze, looking a bit frightened. "I have something for you."

"Listen, I don't want any trouble, I'm just-"

"Here's your stuff." Nathanyel handed him his belongings, ignoring the shocked expression he was wearing. "You left it in the library and I thought you'd need it."

"...You mean... You don't hate me? You don't think I'm unnatural or evil or anything?"

"No."

"But- but what about-"

"Severus and I aren't talking. He's still angry, but he's just being a prick. My cousin likes boys, you know, and there's nothing wrong with it."

"Oh. Thank you." He looked very relieved.

"No need. I like you. I mean, sure, you've got pretty poor taste in friends, but overall, you're a nice person. I think you're alright, even if Severus doesn't."

"Okay. Well... I think you're alright, too." Nathanyel smiled, and he smiled back, if a bit timidly. "I- er- have to go now."

"Alright. I'll see you around, then."

"Right. See you around."

-------Severus--------

He was angry, of course. And lonely, though he'd never admit it. But Nathanyel was acting barmy- well, more so than usual- and he wasn't about to give in. It was bad enough that Nathanyel had been on Lupin's side- Lupin! A Gryffindor! But implying that he was ignorant and unreasonable- that was just adding insult to injury. Dammit!

Perhaps he may have gone a bit overboard. But... It was Lupin! And maybe he really shouldn't have hurt Nathanyel's feelings like that... But... It was Lupin! He felt justified when he added that little fact into the mix. LUPIN! ARGH! In time, Nathanyel would see that Lupin was a no good, snotty, completely hypocritical little ponce. And he would thank Severus for bringing it to his attention, even though he wasn't really grateful at the time. So, really, all he had to do was sit back and wait for Nathanyel to come apologize. Yes, that was exactly what he'd do.

---------------

It had been a week, and Nathanyel still hadn't spoken to him. He was getting rather angry, actually. It wasn't as if he'd done anything horrible! All he'd done was call Lupin a poofter, and it was the truth! Alright, so maybe he'd more like shouted it. Still.

After another day of waiting, he decided that perhaps it would be best to say the first word. Perhaps Nathanyel wanted to apologize, but just couldn't think how. That must have been it. So, Severus concluded that he would give Nathanyel a chance. "Nathanyel." No answer. "Nathanyel! We need to talk."

"I suppose we do," he answered stiffly.

"Yes. Well. Is there anything you'd like to say?"

"There is." Severus waited. "I think you should apologize to Remus."

"What?"

"And me."

"No!" Severus growled. "You apologize to me!"

"I don't see why I should. You're the one being an arse."

"Fine! I'm going!"

---------------

A week later, Severus tried to talk to Nathanyel again. "Hey, Nathanyel." He turned around and stared, expression blank. "Are you ready to apologize?"

"No." Nathanyel narrowed his eyes. "You've been terrible to me. To Remus, as well. You act like he's diseased or something. You act like there's something wrong with me, too!" He looked... Upset.

"Well- well-" Severus tried to think of something to say in his defense. "Maybe there is something wrong with you!"

"There's something wrong with you! Can't you act like a decent human being, for once?"

"Stop being an idiot!"

"Stop calling me an idiot! I'm not stupid!"

"No, you're a faggot!"

"SHUT UP!" They fell silent, glaring at each other. Nathanyel's lip was quivering, and he looked dangerously close to tears.

"Merlin, don't be such a baby," Severus muttered.

"Severus, please, I don't want to fight anymore." He frowned.

"Oh?"

"I... I feel sort of... Empty, when you're not around. Like there's something missing. I don't want to feel that way anymore, because... You're my friend. I want to be your friend, Severus." He didn't answer. "Please... Please, I'm sorry. I won't talk about Lucius anymore or make you be around Remus or say things that make your head hurt, I promise. I just... I just... I can't..." Nathanyel trailed off and lowered his head to stare at the floor.

"You can't what?" Severus hissed, feeling more than a bit like the bad guy.

"I can't... Live. Without you." He bit his lip, still staring at the floor.

"Since when?" Severus was rather shocked.

"Since that time I said Evan Rosier was an inbred seagull, and you smiled at me." Severus couldn't help but raise his eyebrows incredulously. "I'm sorry. I love you. I'm sorry. Don't leave me. I'm sorry."

"You... What?"

"Not like that, like a friend. I need you."

"O-oh... I... I... I'm sorry." He couldn't keep from staring at the ground. "Maybe I was a bit of a berk. I didn't want to upset you." He hated apologizing.

"It's alright."

"But I'm not apologizing to Lupin."

"Okay."

-------Nathanyel--------

"Are you staying with me this summer?" Nathanyel asked as he studied for the potions finals.

"Yes," Severus replied.

"I'm glad." And he meant it, too.

"I can't come right away, though. I need to go home for a week or two first, and I can't have any visitors. Alright?"

"Sure."

"So I'll owl you when I'm free."

"Sounds good."

---------------

Nathanyel sighed, slumping. Being at home when Lucius and Severus were nowhere to be seen was awfully boring. Not even Uncle Laszlo was visiting. And, unfortunately, it was dinner time, so he was stuck in the dining room with his parents for at least thirty minutes.

Suddenly, a glass of something dark was slammed down in front of him. "Drink this." He looked up at his father.

"What is it?"

"Vitamins." His face was stony.

"It doesn't look-"

"I told you to drink it, did I not?" Nathanyel hesitated a moment more before drinking the stuff. It tasted rather strange, but not awful enough to be vitamins.

"This doesn't taste like vitamins."

"Shut up and eat. I've more important things to do than argue about it." Nathanyel did as he was told, but noted that he was feeling rather off.

---------------

He'd been having strange dreams ever since his father had started giving him "vitamins" every day. He thought the best course of action would be to find a way to refuse it. For one, he kept dreaming that he was swimming, or with someone he couldn't see. For another, Uncle Laszlo had visited the other day and he's overheard a rather strange conversation.

"Florian, what exactly are you doing?"

"Work," he grunted.

"Work? But... I thought you were done with this kind of work."

"No, don't be an idiot. Once puberty sets in, it needs to be reinforced. It's still dormant, and I'm not about to wait for a trigger; I'd much rather make my own."

"You can't do this!"

"Oh, yes I can." Nathanyel had walked away then, because his father had started to get unpleasant. Still, he had a feeling they'd been talking about him.

---------------

"Fuck." Severus dropped his trunk on the floor. "You look like hell." Nathanyel shrugged.

"I'm sore all over. But especially in back of my neck."

"Why?"

"Dunno. Just woke up that way." It probably had something to do with the dreams. They'd gotten clearer, and varied. He'd started dreaming about strange things happening. "I had a weird dream last night." He started helping Severus with his trunk.

"Tell me about it."

"I dreamt you were walking in a tunnel."

"Oh?"

"And when you got to the end, there was a huge wolf." Severus snorted.

"How stupid. What then?"

"It almost killed you." Nathanyel yawned. "But then James Potter saved you. You were very angry." Severus looked like he was struggling between amusement and irritation.

"What a completely pointless dream."

"Hm. It seemed so real though..." Nathanyel paused, thinking about it. "It was like... Like I was there, watching it really happen."

"Don't be ridiculous. It was just a dream."

"Yeah... Maybe it was."

"Did you dream anything else like that?" Nathanyel thought for a moment.

"I keep dreaming that I'm swimming in clear, blue water. Except, it doesn't really seem like water. And the light all around is cold, and my skin prickles and then this pain stabs me in the back of the neck- my sore spot- and I wake up. Sometimes the insides of my wrists hurt, too. Look." He pulled up his sleeves and held his arms out for Severus to inspect.

"Merlin," he gasped, eyes widening slightly. Nathanyel winced at his expression. "That's really bad, Nathanyel." He looked down at his wrists, and he had to admit that it was. The insides were bruised and the veins stuck out so much that it looked painful. Sometimes he felt them throbbing.

"I think it's my dad," he whispered, after they'd made it into his room. "He's been giving me this stuff he says is vitamins. I don't believe him for a second, of course. I also heard him talking to Uncle Laszlo."

"Why would he be doing something like this?" Nathanyel shrugged.

"I don't know. Maybe it's a hobby." Severus pursed his lips, and they dropped the subject.

---------------

"Hi, Lucius." Nathanyel stuck his head in the doorway to the guest room, grinning at Lucius. He looked over with a rather disdainful expression.

"I've been engaged to Narcissa Black," he clarified. Nathanyel blinked a bit; Lucius' parents had been making him court Narcissa Black for a number of years, but he really hadn't expected them to be getting married.

"When's the wedding?"

"As far from now as possible. Never, if I can manage it." Nathanyel grinned a bit.

"She could be good for you, you know," he teased.

"Pff," Lucius muttered, disregarding his statement. "That's like the time you tried to tell me my cock was going to fall off." Nathanyel blinked, blushing a bit at the word. It sounded very... Dirty. "What's the matter, did I offend you?"

"No. It's just... You've never called it that before." Lucius shrugged.

"Well, I didn't want you running around screaming it at people. I think you're old enough to hear the word 'cock' now, though." Nathanyel bit his lip.

"Cock," he repeated. It even felt dirty, getting caught in the back of his throat like that. Prick or penis made him think of what lay dormant between his own legs, but cock made him think of the swollen, wet, purplish thing he'd seen on Severus. He shivered a bit at the thought of it. "Cock. Cock." Oh, that felt good.

"See what I mean?" Lucius rolled his eyes. "Now every other word out of your mouth is going to be 'cock.'"

"But... It just sounds so..."

"Sexy?"

"Dirty." He shivered again ."Cock."

"Merlin, just shut up, already!" Nathanyel blushed a bit.

"It makes me think of... Of when it stands up."

"That's called an erection." Lucius seemed rather exasperated.

"I saw Severus touching it." He felt himself blush even more. "Like... How you do it."

"Wanking," Lucius informed him.

"I've never done it before. Does it feel good?"

"Of course! Here, this is what you do." He curled his hand up as if he was holding something and moved it up and down. "That's the basic idea, anyway. Just try not to be too rough with yourself, and you're best off with some sort of lubrication."

"Like what?"

"Oh, it could be a lot of things... Lotion, spit..." He grinned. "But I won't get into the details... Now."

"Oh... Wow. I guess I'll... Give it a try, then."

"You do that. Now, go on. Get out of here." Lucius sent him off with a little slap on the bum, which made him jump a bit, though he didn't really mind it.

---------------

Nathanyel sighed. Wanking, as it turned out, was a lot more difficult than it seemed. He couldn't get into it. His prick just sat there, as if in protest. Prick. Cock. "Cock." That little shiver ran through him, and when he closed his eyes he could see it, burned into the inside of the lids. His... Cock... Started to stand up. "Oh, that did it," he muttered to himself. "Cock." That strange, forbidden thing, raised to beckon him forward. "Cock!" It was blushing, and he was blushing, on his face and his stomach, down the insides of his thighs. He gulped a bit, reaching for it. "Cock." That was wonderful. Almost there...

He gasped loudly when he touched it; he'd never felt anything like it before. Breathing deeply, he carefully started to do what Lucius had showed him. "Oh..." he murmured, rather surprised by the sensation. "Ohhh..." He closed his eyes and slid down in bed, biting his lip hard to keep himself from getting too loud. "Cock!" But he couldn't help saying that one word. He started whimpering, rocking his hips as blood continued to rush towards that spot between his legs. Between the moaning sound rising in his throat and the pounding of his heartbeat in his thighs, he didn't notice the intruder that had enter the room.

"Merlin!" His eyes flew open, and suddenly he was staring at Severus, mouth agape and face slightly flushed.

"Oh- OH!" He strained upwards as his muscles tightened and spasmed, everything turning hot and good all over. With a small whimper he slumped down, and vaguely wondered why he was so sticky.

"...You are the most disgusting person I have ever known," Severus finally croaked. "Honestly, cock!" With that, he left the room, looking quite perturbed. Nathanyel was too warm and tired to care, though. Slowly, he glanced down, surprised to see some sort of liquid on his stomach. That definitely wasn't there before.

Deciding that he could ask Lucius about it later, he rolled over and went to sleep.

---------------

Severus wasn't really angry at him. Just a bit put off. Nathanyel wasn't put of, though; he rather liked pleasing himself. He also rather liked the stuff that came out when he got to finishing. And, as it turned out, Lucius knew a lot more about pleasing yourself than he let on.

"Lucius, what's this?" Nathanyel held up the ball and straps, confused. "It's a ball gag," Lucius replied shortly, glancing up from his book. At Nathanyel's puzzled expression, he rolled his eyes. "It's used for sex."

"Oh."

"Where on earth did you get that, anyway?"

"Your room."

"Hey! Give it back!" Nathanyel handed it over, feeling rather sheepish. "Hm. Come on, I've got something for you." Grinning, Nathanyel followed Lucius to his room. Lucius never gave away things for no reason, so he was very excited. Once they'd reached his room, Lucius shut the door and rooted around in his trunk for a while. "Aha! Here you are." He handed Nathanyel something long and black; it looked like... A prick... Made of rubber.

"What is it?" Bewildered, Nathanyel tilted his head, trying to get a better view of the thing.

"It's a dildo. You use it to wank."

"How?" Lucius pointed to his bum. "Oh." Nathanyel blushed at the thought. "Will it fit?"

"If you stretch." Nathanyel looked down at the dildo again and squeezed.

"Nothing comes out," he muttered, a bit disappointed. Lucius chuckled.

"You're a regular little nymphet, aren't you?"

"I don't know." He squeezed the dildo one more time. "This doesn't work the way a real cock's supposed to," he sighed.

"You're not ready for a real cock," Lucius informed him, a hungry glint in his eyes.

"When will I be ready, then?"

"Oh, you're simply delicious."

"Thanks."

"Get out of here before I change my mind." Nathanyel wasn't quite sure what Lucius was going to change his mind about, but he didn't stay to find out.

"Severus?" Severus grunted, not looking up from his summer assignment. "What does it mean when Lucius calls me delicious?" Severus' quill paused mid-sentence.

"It means you need to start locking your bedroom door at night."

"Oh. He gave me a... Dildo." That was when Severus' eyes traveled down to... The item... In his hand.

"What-!?"

"Yeah, it's weird, isn't it?"

"It's disgusting! Put that away!"

"Oooh, it's coming after you!" Nathanyel cried, waving it in his face.

"Get it away from me! Oh, gross, don't let it touch me! EW EW EW EWWWWW!!" Nathanyel laughed as he backed up against the wall. "Lucius put that up his arse, you know!"

"I know."

"So get rid of it!"

"I'm sure it's clean. Besides, Lucius said I should try it." Severus fell silent and gaped at him. "What? It can't be all bad, if people do it all the time."

"...No wonder you were so angry at me about Lupin." Nathanyel felt a lurch at the mention of the incident, and bit his lip.

"Just because... Just because I think Lucius gives good advice about... About these things... It doesn't mean I like boys." He could feel his face burning, and he couldn't stop thinking of that time he's seen Severus'... Erection. "Anyway," he ploughed on quickly, "even if I did, why would I fancy you?" Severus snorted and pushed him away.

"Yeah, right. You know, the way you talk about Lucius sometimes I think you fancy him." Nathanyel laughed a bit.

"He's my cousin!" Severus laughed a bit, too.

"That's never stopped a pureblood before." They looked at each other for a bit, then burst into fits of boyish giggling.

---------------

Nathanyel sighed happily. Although the dreams were worse than ever, and he was very sore, life was good. At the moment, at least. He was sitting in the study, reading with Severus, Olivia, and Uncle Laszlo, who kept interrupting them with amusing stories of his youth. After one particular anecdote that involved a very precariously placed broomstick, Olivia added her two knuts. "You know, Lucius gave Nathanyel a dildo." The silence was deafening.

"...Oh," Uncle Laszlo finally muttered lamely. "Well. That's... Awfully nice of him. Say, did I ever tell you about the time Cornelius Fudge was almost drowned by the giant squid?" No more was said of Lucius' generosity.

---------------

"Excuse me, s'il vous plaît." Nathanyel slid to the other side of the sofa he was sitting on so Giselle could reach between the cushions. "Merci beaucoup, Nathanyel," she thanked in her French accent. "Ah, such a nice, polite boy." At that, she narrowed her eyes at Severus, who'd been discreetly studying her over the top of his book.

"You're welcome, Giselle." Nathanyel stood and crossed the room to sit next to Severus. "What's the matter?"

"Well..." Severus frowned a bit, then lowered his voice. "Don't you think it's rather weird to see your uncle dressed up as a French maid, cleaning the house?"

"She's a drag queen!"

"Sh! Really, you'll hurt her feelings. You need to be more sensitive."

"And you need to be less weird." Nathanyel only shrugged, and they sat reading for a bit. "Say... Isn't there another personality that you've mentioned?" Nathanyel nodded.

"Shinji," he muttered. "We don't see much of him, but he's around."

"What's he like?"

"Very quiet." Nathanyel shrugged. "Hey, we've only got a week left. Don't you want to go outside and do something?"

"If you insist."

"Alright! Let's go nick some of that lemonade the neighbors keep outside!"

"You mean the spiked kind?"

"Wheee!"

"Merlin help me."