It's Not Easy Being Green

It's Not Easy Being Green

It's not that easy being green

Having to spend each day the color of the leaves

When I think it could be nicer being red, or yellow or gold

Or something much more colorful like that

It's not easy being green

It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things

And people tend to pass you over 'cause you're

Not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water

Or stars in the sky

But green's the color of Spring

And green can be cool and friendly-like

And green can be big like an ocean, or important

Like a mountain, or tall like a tree

When green is all there is to be

It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why

Wonder, I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful

And I think it's what I want to be

-- Kermit the Frog --

-------Nathanyel--------

Year One

The Hogwarts Express sat glistening in the sun, like a gigantic piece of strawberry shoestring. Children swarmed around the platform, screaming and squawking to each other; their pets did the same. They were all headed to Hogwarts, ready and willing to learn. Hogwarts was a very good school, after all; a good, strong school that built strong people.

Nathanyel hated it already.

He had been excited at first, then very nauseous, and now just plain stubborn. He wanted to stay home, with Lucius and Olivia and Uncle Laszlo. This did not make Florian Page happy. And it was common knowledge that when Florian Page was not happy, people stayed out of his way. This was why the other parents and children were giving them such a wide berth.

Florian scowled. "You will not ruin the reputation of this family," he ordered sternly.

"Yes, father," Nathanyel replied.

"You will be sorted into Slytherin, and you will be at the head of your class," he continued.

"Yes, father."

"And you will most certainly not upset your mother." Nathanyel didn't very much care about that rule. His mother was upset very easily, and after a bit he'd gotten bored of trying to keep her in good spirits.

"Of course, father."

"You will make friends with the right people. There is a Black in your year, the good one. He'll likely be in Slytherin." Nathanyel nodded. "Stay away from his brother. Filthy Gryffindors." He sneered as the Black children passed them by. "And don't associate with any Snapes."

"I understand, father." It was best to simply let him rant.

"Good. Now, go." With a sharp nudge towards the train, his father disappeared into the crowd.

He looked up at the steam engine, its deep red color suddenly seeming a lot more sinister. It made him think of fire and demons, and that hell place he'd been told about. But surely it was just his imagination. So, he took a firm hold of his trunk, and stepped onto the train to find a seat.

Nathanyel let out a long sigh as he pressed his forehead against the cool glass of the train window. Here he was, on the Hogwarts Express, headed for his first year at wizarding school. 'It's about time,' part of him thought, watching the other children hug and kiss their parents in a series of tearful goodbyes. That part of him had been waiting for Hogwarts for a very long time, and was rather glad the moment had arrived when he would be off, away on his own until Christmas. The other part, which was much more dominant at the moment, was kicking and screaming. He didn't want to leave. No one would like him, and he would miss Lucius terribly. He supposed it couldn't be that bad, though. Lucius had said it was alright. And Louis liked it just fine. He'd find his place, eventually. Perhaps. On that note, he let out a resigned sigh as the last stragglers hopped onto the train, and a few moments later a whistle blew and it started moving.

The door slid open loudly and then banged shut as the sound of grumbles filled the air. Nathanyel looked up to see a skinny, lanky boy with a scowl fixed on his face sit in the seat across from him. An unusually large, hooked nose dominated his rather sallow face, and lank black hair fell into glittering black eyes. It was almost as long as Lucius' hair. "Hello," Nathanyel greeted as pleasantly as he could.

"This was the last compartment," the boy replied in what was almost a growl. With the nose and the antisocial disposition, Nathanyel had the sneaking suspicion that this was a Snape. He wasn't sure which one, though. When his mother had informed him of the bloodlines, she'd only told him that all Snapes looked alike, and only bothered with a few meaningless names.

"I'm Nathanyel Page," he introduced, ignoring his father's earlier instructions. The Snape glared at him.

"Severus Snape." So he was right. "Now leave me the fuck alone." And then he took a shrunken book from his robes, returned it to normal size, and buried his formidable nose in it. Nathanyel decided to keep to himself, since prodding a Snape was apparently like playing with fire.

However, he soon forgot his resolution, due to boredness most likely, and attempted conversation with the Snape. "So, you're a Slytherin?"

"Yes." Slytherin was going to be his house. He knew already, because his father had said so and because all Pages were Slytherins. Except for his Uncle Laszlo; he'd been a Ravenclaw. But Ravenclaw wasn't so bad, and Uncle Laszlo was nice. So were his other personalities. Still, Nathanyel knew he would be in Slytherin.

"What year are you?"

"Going into second year." The Snape seemed a bit irritated at his questioning.

"I'm going to be in Slytherin, too," Nathanyel said, sighing.

"How do you know that?"

"I just know." It was difficult to explain that kind of thing.

"You 'just know,' hm?" Nathanyel nodded. "Shut up." He supposed there was a reason the Pages hated the Snapes, then. They were awfully rude; or, at least, this one was. It was the first one he'd ever met, really.

He glanced at the Snape again; shutting up would definitely be the wisest choice. And the snack trolley provided a very nice reason to shut up. Within five minutes he was surrounded by sweets. The Snape, however, had none. Though he looked like he wanted some. "Sweets?" he offered, deciding he'd rather not be wise.

"No," the Snape snapped. "I don't eat sweets."

"Why not?"

"They're undignified." What a very ill informed boy, Nathanyel thought.

"That isn't true. Here, have a licorice wand. Licorice is a very dignified sweet."

"How do you know?"

"My uncle said so. All the dignified boys eat licorice."

"As long as you'll shut up," he grumbled, finally accepting the licorice wand. Nathanyel thought that he enjoyed it an awful lot, for someone who didn't eat sweets.

---------------

Being sorted into Slytherin was a complicated thing. Nathanyel was contemplating all the ups and downs of such a thing as he readied himself for bed in his new dormitory. He'd gotten the bed nearest the small window, since nobody else had wanted it. That suited him just fine, though. It had been his first choice, anyway. "Page." That was Regulus Black, the one his father had told him to befriend,

"What?" He tried not to look curious.

"Listen. I heard a lot about you. So, in case you get any ideas... You can hang around me, but I'm not your friend or anything. Got it?"

"I wasn't planning on spending much time with you, anyway," he replied serenely. Regulus just frowned at him and went to talk to Mundungus Fletcher.

School wasn't for friends, anyway. It was for learning. And he planned on doing exactly that. Though why it sounded so sinister, he wasn't sure.

---------------

Mundungus Fletcher and Regulus Black were talking animatedly, apparently looking forward to their first flying lesson. Both were bragging about how good they were in the air. Nathanyel glanced down at his assigned broom; it stared back up at him. "What are you looking at?" he muttered uneasily, shifting his weight. Brooms had never much liked him.

"Hey, what's wrong with you?" Regulus had paused his conversation with Mundungus momentarily to give Nathanyel a strange look.

"I'm just not very good with brooms, that's all," he replied, hazarding another glance at the thing. It was glaring at him.

"Scared, Slytherin?" That was one of the Gryffindor boys, Bones.

"Just apprehensive." He tried to sound light-hearted.

"Psst!" One of the Gryffindor girls elbowed Bones. "Don't talk to him. He's a weirdo."

"Alright, settle down!" Madam Hooch, apparently new to the staff, was coming their way, her mouth set into a strict line. "Now, all of you hold your wand hands over the brooms and say 'up!'" Nathanyel tried. The broom hit him. It took a few more minutes to finally get it to calm down and settle into his hand.

After Madam Hooch had finished correcting their grips, she told them to kick off when she blew her whistle. Nathanyel was feeling a bit more confident; he could do this. Then, the whistle was blown, and he kicked off.

He was soaring steadily, just like the others. Nothing was going wrong, thank Merlin. Until, of course, the broom decided that it would rather fly solo, and started to buck. That was most definitely a bad thing. "Now- see- here-" Nathanyel grunted, trying to reason with it, "I- am- not- going- to- ouch! To- try- any- funny-"

That was as far as he got before he lost his grip and found himself about to be very well acquainted with the ground. Meeting the ground, it turned out, hurt very much. And the ground made a very bad first impression. "Mr. Page! Are you alright?" He pushed himself up, trying to blink the swirling colors out of his eyes.

"I feel just fine, thank you." Black was a much more soothing shade.

He woke up in the hospital wing. And he felt rather... tingly. It must have been some sort of potion. He decided that he was more suited to academic pursuits. Or that he needed a very mild-tempered broom. Both would be nice.

---------------

Nathanyel sat in the Great Hall, thinking. A month had gone by already, and he was top of his class, just as he'd promised. He'd broken a lot of his father's rules, but it didn't matter much to him. He'd kept the important ones, at least. There was something else on his mind, though. It had occurred to him that perhaps, even though school was for learning, it wouldn't hurt to have at least one companion. He'd heard good things about study groups, anyway. So, it was settled.

He wanted a friend, he'd decided. He'd spent far too much time alone, and he wanted what all the other children seemed to have. Laughter. Fun. Love. Friendship. He wanted that. He wanted all of it for his own, someone to be with and confide in. Someone to slap on the back and laugh with, and maybe, after getting to know him, to hug. He'd only been hugged once, by Lucius, surprisingly enough, and he'd enjoyed it. Though he doubted Lucius would ever do such a thing again, as he deemed it uncivilized, something reserved for small, stupid children and peasants.

There was still one thing blocking his path. Everyone, everyone seemed to have at least one friend already. They all seemed so happy and content that he doubted there would be any room for him at all. He needed someone who was unattached, someone available. There just didn't seem to be anyone at the moment. But he'd watch.

After about two days of watching, he only noticed one person who seemed to have absolutely no friends at all. Severus Snape. He was a bit apprehensive of approaching the Snape (or Severus, he supposed he should say) with an offer of friendship, especially since Severus seemed to hate him. He thought for a bit. Well, he could gain Severus' company by conveniently letting drop that his mother was a Malfoy, and his cousin was none other than Lucius Malfoy himself. Severus was of a fairly substantial line of purebloods in a rather high-standing family, so having a solid connection to Lucius Malfoy would probably be worth it to him to spend some time with a "barmy ickle firstie," as he was often referred to. After that, he would work on gaining Severus' trust, which would be difficult, especially considering that the Pages and Snapes had been feuding for over a century, but judging by how solitary the boy was and how high his standards for others seemed to be, it would also be a difficult thing to lose. So, he would give it a try.

The morning after he'd formed his rather vague plan, it was just his luck that the only empty seats at the Slytherin table were surrounding Severus. Treading lightly, he sat down next to the other boy, who had his nose buried in a book. "Good morning," he greeted casually. Severus ignored him. Shrugging, he buttered his toast and continued. "You know, I've found that potions class is interesting so far, if a little... Well, simple. But then, cousin Lucius always says that potions come naturally to Malfoys, and that I shouldn't find anything like that surprising. Since my mother is a Malfoy, and all." Severus had set his book down and was glaring intensely at him. "Am I bothering you?"

"Tell me more about this Malfoy business." Ah, he was interested. Excellent.

"Well, it's nothing big, really. My mother is the sister of Lucius' father. Uncle Vitus, that is. They make Lucius spend a lot of time with me, because they think he'll rub off on me. I've always been a bit of the odd one out, you know. For the most part Lucius doesn't seem to enjoy himself, but every once in a while... He cracks. Just for a moment." He offered up a grin for scrutiny. Severus raised an eyebrow. Holding back the urge to chuckle at his success, he stood up, disregarding breakfast. He wasn't really so hungry anymore. "Well, I'm off to the library."

"I'll come with you." Oh, it was a good thing that it was Saturday. A very good thing. Nathanyel wondered briefly why he had to scheme so much just to get himself a friend, but then he merely cast the thought aside and headed off to the library. A few of the Gryffindor students in Severus' year glared at them and starting whispering amongst themselves. "So," Severus said casually as they walked through the hallways, "you have connections with the Malfoy family, then?" Nathanyel nodded. "Could perhaps endear another to them?"

"Suppose so," Nathanyel answered lightly as they entered the library. Severus regarded him for a bit, then led him off to a deserted part of the library that was full of dust and grabbed a random book from a shelf, sitting down with it laying open on the table in front of him. Nathanyel sat beside him and propped his feet up on the table.

"Tell me more." Severus bit pensively on his nails as he listened to Nathanyel go on about anything he could think of that involved at least one Malfoy. Told about family holidays and play dates and babysitting, about attics and books and magic lessons. And personal things, too. Told about how his mother wished he was a more finished, refined boy, like his cousin Lucius. How his father wished he could be more tough and ruthless, like Lucius. How they wished he could be more normal, like Lucius. Lucius, Lucius, Lucius, they wished he was their son, instead of Nathanyel, this scrawny little weirdo. How he loved Lucius like a brother and resented him at the same time for being so apparently flawless. But he kept the moments of comfort and perhaps even affection, like the hug after the closet incident, to himself. That would be shared only when he knew he could trust Severus.

Severus greedily drank in every last detail, entranced by anything he was saying. It was rather nice, actually, having someone listen to him with such open interest, such undivided attention. As he began talking about Uncle Vitus, though, there was an interruption. "Fuck!" Severus swore rather loudly, sucking on his finger. "Bit too far down," he specified. Then, suddenly, there was the sound of multiple footsteps and swishing robes. The four Gryffindor boys in Severus' year that had been conferring at breakfast were suddenly standing before them. The seemed to be trying to look menacing, at least the first two, but they only succeeded in looking ridiculous. Nathanyel held back his laughter, though.

"Oh, look, it's Snivellus and his ickle firstie friend," the black-haired one with pale eyes said. Sirius Black, Nathanyel's mind registered immediately, knowing that the boy's cousin had her eye on Lucius. He'd seen him once, but never met him.

"Hello, Sirius," Nathanyel greeted softly. "How is Narcissa? Well, I hope." Sirius only stared at him blankly a few moments before adopting a hardened expression.

"You little shit. You're Lucius Malfoy's cousin, aren't you?" Nathanyel nodded.

"Lucius Malfoy?" the boy with glasses chimed in. James Potter. He'd heard Severus fighting with the boy once. "Wow, this one must really be a bad seed."

"You think so?" Nathanyel asked mildly, looking down at himself. "I hadn't really noticed. Then again, I haven't had any good fertilizer to plant myself in, lately, so I wouldn't know." There was silence.

"Completely barmy," Sirius scoffed, shaking his head.

"L-let's m-make them a l-little more humble," a chubby blonde boy stammered. The tired one stood off to the side, looking conflicted and remaining silent.

"What a wonderful idea, Peter," James smiled. Peter... Pettigrew. All the Pettigrews had a little extra weight on them. Or a lot. He still didn't recognize the last boy, though. A growl from Severus brought him back from his short reverie.

"I don't think so," he protested unconcernedly. He wasn't actually worried. After all, these were Gryffindors, so whether or not they could, they wouldn't do any lasting damage.

"Nobody cares what you little dark wizards in training think," Sirius snapped.

"As if you should talk," Severus grumbled. Sirius threw a curse at him, but Nathanyel casually kicked his chair over and he fell out of the way just in time.

"I thought you were a Black," Nathanyel said confidently. "And I was under the impression that the Black family raised their children with more manners than that. I suppose you're the filthy little beast of the family, then?" It felt nice to talk like Lucius. A curse came his way and he ducked. Severus was hexing them, now, and using much more exotic spells. Nathanyel settled for a simple Locomotor Mortis here and there.

When the fire ceased, he stood up in time to see the Gryffindors retreating. He could tell the one he didn't know had remained uninvolved, since he didn't even have his wand out. He paused and turned, giving Nathanyel a curious look. "I'm Nathanyel Page," he introduced, feeling an obligation to do so. The boy jumped a little, as if he'd heard a loud noise, and looked about before inclining his head.

"Remus Lupin," he introduced. Then, with a glance towards Severus, he ran after his friends.

"Hm. He seemed nice."

"If you like Gryffindors," Severus spat, standing up and brushing himself off.

"I don't like labels," Nathanyel replied lightly. Severus blinked, looking a bit confused. "Let's go sneak into the kitchens and get some sweets." Confusion was replaced by a small smirk, and they left.

---------------

Nathanyel was out for a walk, heading outside to sample some of the crisp late November air. He rounded the corner, pondering the problem of transfiguring between phases. It seemed simple, yet there was something holding him back. "Stop that!" He paused at the exclamation, recognizing the voice as belonging to Severus. Looking up, he could see the four Gryffindors- the Marauders, they called themselves- apparently bothering Severus again. Sirius was holding Severus' wand just out of his reach, and he was getting rather red in the face as he tried to grab it- with his legs flailing about wildly. James was laughing and casting spells on him, while Peter simply watched and joined the laughter. Remus looked rather bothered by the whole thing, but didn't seem ready to stop it. So Nathanyel decided to take matters into his own hands. After all, Lucius always said that Gryffindors had to be dealt with swiftly, or not at all.

"Hey!" he called out, approaching and making sure his wand was still tucked safely up his sleeve. They stopped, looking up. "Stop it!" There was a pregnant pause before they broke into laughter again, their attention turned away from Severus, who looked livid.

"Oh, so the iddy bitty firstie's gonna save you, eh, Snivellus?" Sirius taunted.

"Don't get him upset, Sirius," James chided. "He might wet himself." Nathanyel was starting to think that the stupid beasts might need to be stopped with physical force. He didn't much like hexing people, anyway.

"Really?" Nathanyel crossed his arms. "If I'm such an iddy baby, why're you so afraid of me?" The laughter died down.

"Page!" Severus suddenly hissed, unable to keep his fury to himself any longer. "Get the fuck out of here! I don't need help from a runty little freak like you!" Nathanyel said nothing, and stood his ground. Severus would be grateful later.

"Pf," James snorted. "He's not doing anything." He turned back to Severus. "Why don't we use Snivellus to help us practice-"

"Why don't you shut your fucking mouth for one damned second and listen to what I have to say, you arrogant little shit?" Nathanyel snapped. That got his attention. Severus groaned.

"Oh? And what do you have to say?"

"Why don't you fight me, instead? Like men. No wands." He illustrated his point by pulling his wand from his sleeve and dropped it on the floor. Laughter rang through the corridor again.

"Yeah, right," Sirius snorted. "You're not even worth our time, nutter." They turned back to Severus, obviously planning to do something devious. Nathanyel was angry.

"If you don't leave him alone I'll rip your fucking hair out and shove it down your throats!!" He braced himself, ready to charge.

"He's insane," Sirius muttered as they cast another spell on Severus. He turned pink and started vomiting. For some reason, Nathanyel felt the need to protect him from these horrible monsters. So, he charged.

James Potter didn't know what hit him, when Nathanyel threw himself onto his back. As he staggered backwards, Nathanyel jerked his head up by his hair, brought an arm around his neck, and squeezed. He was vaguely aware of Severus tackling Sirius as James fell to his knees, wheezing as he struggled to breathe. Nathanyel squeezed harder, digging a knee painfully into his lower back. James struggled spectacularly, but he hung on tightly; soon, the struggling became weak and sluggish. A minute or so later, there was no struggling at all. Lucius always said, eliminate a threat before it becomes too great. "Hey!" It was Remus, who finally seemed ready to get involved. "Nath- Page! He's not breathing!" Nathanyel dropped him onto his stomach, then kicked him onto his back.

"That's the point," he informed Remus calmly. James indeed had stopped breathing. He noticed that Sirius and Severus had stopped fighting. Everyone was staring at him.

"Y-you k-killed him!" Peter stammered, eyes wide. Sirius was starting to look a little murderous himself.

"No I didn't," Nathanyel protested. "He still has a heart beat."

"Page, you utter twit!" Severus snarled. "He's going to die!"

"...And?"

"FIX HIM!" Well, he'd been planning to do so, anyway. With a small sigh, he stamped his foot down on the limp boy's stomach, causing him to suddenly take in a deep, rasping breath. Coughing, James tried to push himself up, but failed.

"He should probably go to the hospital wing," Nathanyel pointed out calmly. "I'll leave him in your undoubtedly responsible hands." And he walked off. There was a pause before footsteps approached behind him and Severus was walking with him.

"You nearly killed Potter!" Nathanyel shrugged.

"Nearly. Besides, I thought you hated him."

"Well, yes, but you could have been expelled, ended up in Azkaban!"

"On the bright side, they won't mess with us again for a while. If James actually had died, they might have left us alone for good. Or, you know, sought revenge." Severus blinked slowly.

"Where did you learn that reasoning?"

"Lucius, of course. You have to make sure your enemies fear you." He sighed. "I'm just not very fond of hurting people." Which was true, but he would if he had to.

"...Why did you do that for me, anyway?" Nathanyel shrugged.

"I thought that's what friends did. Look out for each other."

"You could have stopped short of strangling him."

"No fun." Severus snorted with laughter.

After that, it felt as if they were a bit closer, but Severus still called him Page. Nathanyel was trying to think of a remedy to the situation (while serving out detention for strangling another student to within an inch of his life) when something to help him do so happened.

---------------

He was walking up to his dormitory on a Sunday after helping Hagrid muck out his stables for four hours (he'd showered already, thankfully) when he passed by the second year dorms and heard a strange sound. It sounded a little like crying, except that it also sounded like Severus. Which didn't make sense at all. So, he entered the dormitory and made his way to the last bed on the left, which had its curtains closed. He opened the curtains and peered inside to see Severus curled up on the bed, crying; his hair was jaggedly lopped off, now only brushing his shoulders.

Nathanyel was rather surprised, actually. He'd never even thought boys and men cried, let alone Snapes. He'd cried, of course, but he'd always known that he was different. Still, he took a strange kind of pride in the fact that he hadn't cried for several years- not since he was seven. "Severus?" No answer. "Severus, I'm sure it'll be alright. I'll help you. You're my friend, and-"

"Go away!" he cried. "I'm not your friend!" Nathanyel sighed.

"Yes you are. You're my best friend." He didn't answer. "I've never been able to say that before you."

"Me neither." Severus sniffed loudly. "But you're not my friend."

"I know." He paused.

"You do?"

"Of course. You don't even call me by my given name. You hate being around me. You hate looking at me, you hate listening to me. You mock me any chance you get, and for a brief moment it endears you to the other boys. You think they're your friends, then, and that you don't need me, but then they mock you, hurt you, and you always come back to me. Always. And I'm always waiting. I think I always will be." He sniffed again.

"That's not true, I don't hate you..."

"Nonsense. You're a Slytherin, you're ambitious. You only hang around me because of the Malfoys." Severus shook his head. "And you're a liar, too."

"You're not being very comforting." Another sniff. Nathanyel crossed his arms and tilted his head to the side.

"Do you think I should be comforting? Do you think I owe it to you?"

"No." Severus shook his head, wiping some of the moisture from his face with his sleeve. "No, I don't."

"And I don't. But... I'll comfort you, if you want." Severus looked a bit confused, and suspicious, as well.

"Why?"

"Didn't I tell you already? You're my best friend. And friends take care of each other." He sat down on the bed and pulled the curtains closed, then gathered Severus into his arms. "I promise I'll take care of you. Always." He was happy that Severus didn't protest or pull away. He was even happier when Severus relaxed into him, sighing.

"Look what they did to me," he moaned miserably. "Look, Nathanyel, look at this. Those damn bastard Gryffindors, I'm surprised they didn't try to castrate me!" Nathanyel gently rubbed his back, a warm feeling spreading through him at Severus' use of his given name.

"It's alright, Severus," he murmured. "I think it looks good." Severus snorted.

"That's not the point. My hair... That was the only thing I liked." He sniffed loudly. Nathanyel felt sad, that the only part of his body Severus took pride in was his hair.

"Sh. You'll be alright, love," he soothed. It was nice to call a person that name and mean it, for once. "You're beautiful, all over."

"How utterly cheap of you." Nathanyel repressed a chuckle.

"Bad things happen all the time. It hurts, but life goes on." Severus snorted.

"I'm sure you've been tortured plenty of times." Perhaps he should tell Severus... Perhaps.

"I had detention with Filch the other night." Severus let out a little grunt.

"Do I have to listen to your stories?"

"Do you think it will make you feel better?" There was hesitation.

"...Fine, go on."

"Anyway, I had detention with Filch. He wanted me to sort out all the supply closets." Nathanyel paused, trying not to think too much about it. "I thought I could do it. It's been so long. But we made it to the first one and he shoved me in, and..." Nathanyel tried to think of how to say it. "I couldn't. He was very angry. Had to take me to the hospital wing." Severus shifted slightly in his arms, his crying reduced to small tears escaping his eyes and fleeing down the sharp angles of his cheeks.

"Why? Why did you have to go to the hospital wing?"

"Madam Pomfrey said it was a panic attack." Soft eyelashes fluttered against his neck.

"Why?"

"It's a long story."

"I want to hear it. It makes me feel better. Like..."

"I understand?" A slow nod. "Alright." Nathanyel lightly stroked his shoulder. "It was the day before Lucius and his parents were coming for a visit. I was seven. I was excited about their visit and I wouldn't stay out of the house elves' way. So, one of the servants kicked me out of the kitchens. I was acting up all day, then. I knocked into things, used magic by accident, asked silly questions. Bothered my parents a lot. Finally, I went into the library with some hot cider my mother had told the servants to give me.

"My father was there, reworking an old tome of dark magic. It was very important business, he said. I tried to see it, and spilled the cider all over it. The book was ruined. Father was extremely angry.

"He wanted to punish me, very badly. I heard him scheming about it in the next room. Then, he remembered that there was a boggart in a closet on the third floor. So, he took me there. I thought he was just going to let it loose on me, but that wasn't it. He threw me in the closet, locked me in there and just left. I was stuck in a dark closet with a boggart for the rest of the day, the entire night, and into the next afternoon." Severus took a deep breath.

"Oh. That must have been..." He trailed off.

"Yes. I screamed myself hoarse, didn't get a wink of sleep. I even threw myself into the door, trying to knock it down. Finally, Lucius found me. He opened the closet and out I tumbled, all tears and whimpers. I latched onto him as tightly as I could, and he got rid of the boggart for me." Nathanyel paused, a bit hesitant about revealing the next part. However, he decided it would be best. "I was a wreck. I could barely speak coherently. Lucius tried to get me to calm down, even used a spell, but it didn't work. Then, he did something he never did before, something he's never done since. He gathered me up in a hug. It's the first one I remember, from anyone. He put me in my room, after that, and gave me hot chocolate. He stayed with me for the rest of the day, until he had to go." Nathanyel paused. "It's the nicest Lucius ever was to me. To anyone, I suspect."

"...Oh. I... Can't imagine that."

"I know." There was a short silence. "To this day, I'm a bit claustrophobic and deathly afraid of closets. As Filch well knows." Severus raised an eyebrow and gave him a... Well, the only way to describe it would be a not-so-glare. Which he supposed was his version of a laugh. "Nap?" Severus sighed.

"I suppose."

Napping, Nathanyel decided, was an excellent pastime.

-------Severus--------

He looked in the mirror, frowning a bit. He hadn't expected it to be so short. "I thought you were just going to clean it up?" Nathanyel shrugged, dropping the scissors and walking up behind him.

"I think it looks nice." It did look alright, really. The pieces in front were still down to his chin, and he could feel the back trailing down the nape of his neck, wispier as it went on, eventually just... Running out. It felt very strange. "It suits you," Nathanyel muttered, wrapping arms around him from behind and stroking his stomach. "Beautiful." He kissed just behind Severus' jaw, right under his ear, and purred a bit.

"I'm glad you're pleased," Severus managed to work out through his confusion. He was getting that fuzzy feeling between his legs that had only happened when he'd seen the naked pictures the groundskeeper at the manor kept in his shed, or had those special dreams. "Stop that, now."

"Why? You're blushing, you like it." With a little sigh he pressed up against Severus and smiled. "It's so nice when you blush. And you're so tall already. I don't think I'll ever be that tall."

"Stop it! Let me go!" Nathanyel seemed rather puzzled.

"Why?" Severus pulled away from him, frowning.

"You're not supposed to touch boys that way!" Nathanyel blinked, tilting his head to the side in an inquisitive gesture. "You- you only touch girls like that. Like... Your girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?" He furrowed his brow. "How's a girlfriend different from a boyfriend?"

"Boys aren't supposed to have boyfriends!" he nearly shouted, for some reason frantic to make Nathanyel understand.

"Lucius does," Nathanyel argued. Severus mouthed wordlessly for a bit, then managed to regain a bit of his composure.

"Well, Lucius isn't supposed to! That kind of stuff is bad, you understand?" He dropped his voice a little. "It- it's evil." Nathanyel looked confused again.

"It can't be evil if Lucius does it. Lucius isn't evil."

"Well, maybe he doesn't realize."

"We should tell him, then. I wouldn't want Lucius to end up in jail or anything." Severus rolled his eyes.

"He won't end up in jail."

"Then what will happen?"

"His- you know- thing-" Severus gestured to his crotch- "will fall off." Nathanyel's eyes widened and he let out a little gasp.

"No!"

"Yes! It'll come right off!"

"Are you sure? I mean, it must take a while, because he still has it."

"It does take a while. But it happens, sure enough. One day you wake up and it's gone, just like that!"

"How awful! That's even worse than prison! And Lucius loves his so much, too. I mean, he's always touching it and everything. I would hate him to lose it, he'd be so upset! We've got to tell him. Write a letter or something." Severus nodded.

"Yes, a letter."

"Or I could tell him in person, over holidays."

"That's a good idea, too."

"I think I'll do that. Wow, Sev, it's a good thing you said something. You're so smart." Severus flushed a little with pride.

"Well... You know..." He kicked at the floor. "I just pick things up."

"Let's go play gobstones!"

"Alright..."

"No cheating this time!"

"I never cheat!"

---------------

"Severus?" He grunted to show he was listening. "Are you staying here for the holidays?"

"Yes." Nathanyel bit his lip.

"Would you like to come stay with me for Christmas, then?" Severus shrugged.

"I didn't think you'd really be going home. Do you actually like your parents?"

"No. But Lucius will be there. You can meet him, if you come."

"...Your family would slaughter me. You know our families are feuding."

"I'll protect you. Don't worry." Severus rolled his eyes; what made Nathanyel think that, he'd no idea.

"I don't need to be protected."

"Then come home with me." Come home. He made it sound so... Warm... And pleasant. Gross.

"Alright. I'll stay with you." But it also sounded much more interesting than staying at the school.

---------------

"Chugga chugga chugga chugga, chugga chugga chugga chugga, chugga chugga chugga chugga, whoowhoo!"

"Nathanyel! Would you shut the fuck up?"

"Sorry, Severus. I'm just excited, is all." Nathanyel sank back in his seat on the Hogwarts Express, a wide grin spread across his face.

"Yeah, whatever." Severus scowled and crossed his arms as he glared out the train window at the snowfall. Of course, he was looking forward to spending Christmas with Nathanyel. However, there was a limit to how much of the first year boy he could take. What he was really looking forward to was meeting Lucius Malfoy, face to face.

"I can't wait to see Lucius today!" Nathanyel exclaimed, bouncing in his seat. "We're almost there!"

"I know, I know." Severus tossed him a chocolate frog. "Here, keep your mouth busy with this." It was devoured within seconds. "Did you even chew?"

"...A little."

They were met at the train station by one of the servants of the Page household. When Nathanyel made a beeline for him, shouting shrilly, "Mr. Salisbury!" he used a waiting mother as a shield. She wasn't very happy, and in turn used him as a punching bag.

They arrived at Nathanyel's house by portkey, where a grim looking man passed through the entrance hall, frowned at them, and kept going. "Who was that?" Severus asked warily, as Mr. Salisbury took their trunks upstairs.

"My father," Nathanyel answered apathetically.

"He seems very... cheerful." Nathanyel looked about to answer when a woman's voice called out from the other room.

"Who's there?" A pretty woman with her silver blonde hair done up in a bun came bustling in, looking hopeful. Upon seeing them, her face fell. "Oh. It's just you."

"This is my mother," Nathanyel informed him.

"And you brought a Snape?" She looked at Severus disdainfully.

"Is Lucius here yet?" Nathanyel asked, ignoring her comments.

"Yes. And so is Aunt Gertrude, so don't forget to say hello to her." Nathanyel only stared at her. Finally, she let out a long-suffering sigh and rolled her eyes. "He's upstairs." Without another word, Nathanyel grabbed Severus by the wrist and practically dragged him up the large staircase that led to the second floor. He raced down the long hallway and entered the second-to-last door on the right. A tall, elegant young man with long silver blonde hair tied back in a green ribbon stood against the wall, examining a brightly colored book with, "The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio," printed on the cover in bold letters.

"Lucius!" He looked up, quirking an eyebrow as Nathanyel hurled himself at him. Lucius stepped aside at the last minute, causing the boy to stop just short of hitting his head on the wall.

"I see you're happy to be back." He snapped the book shut and placed it on one of the large bookshelves in the spacious room. "Though I doubt anyone else shares the sentiment." Nathanyel seemed oblivious to the comment, since his wide grin didn't waver in the least. "And I see you've brought a Snape with you." Lucius spared Severus a short glance before turning his attention back to Nathanyel. "You'd better keep a close eye on him. Your grandfather is here, and Laszlo won't be arriving for another day." He didn't look terribly concerned. "And how are your marks?"

"Top of my class in every subject," Nathanyel replied proudly, standing up a bit straighter.

"Good. I'm glad to see I've managed to cram something useful into that ridiculous head of yours." He glanced at Severus again. "So which one is he?"

"Severus." Lucius gave him a calculating look. "He's in second year." If anything, his expression only became more suspicious. "Hey! Did you see Aunt Gertrude?" At last, Lucius turned back to Nathanyel.

"She brought the gingerbread men. We're not allowed to have any until Christmas day." There was a short silence.

"Kitchen?"

"Top cupboard, far left."

"Let's go." Lucius swept out of the room with a regal air about him, and Nathanyel followed, pausing briefly to tug Severus along. "Come on, hurry up!"

"Where are we going?"

"To get some gingerbread men, of course."

"He just said you weren't allowed any until Christmas."

"So? She's a senile old toad, she won't notice if we nick any. Besides, it's tradition. Hurry!" They followed Lucius down to the expansive, blindingly clean kitchen, where they cut through the crowd of servants and house elves until they made it to the last cupboard. With a wave of his wand, Lucius opened the cupboard and levitated a tray of gingerbread men down to them. "I call the Pepper Imp eyes!" Nathanyel said immediately.

"The Bertie Botts' buttons are mine," Lucius proclaimed. They both glanced at Severus.

"Er... Any kind is fine for me."

"Butterbeer shoestring smile," Nathanyel decided automatically, handing Severus a cookie with crossed eyes and a crooked smile. Both he and Lucius started by biting the head off, and Nathanyel chuckled a bit as steam started billowing out of his ears. Severus carefully took a bite from his, pleasantly surprised by the taste.

"Come on." Lucius replaced the cookies. "Let's go before Aunt Gertrude catches us, the old cow."

It was surprising, how willing Lucius was to spend time with them, when he could have been doing better things with his time. "I'm so happy you came for the holidays, Lucius."

"Well, they needed someone to babysit you." So that explained it. "Well? What are you waiting for? Let's go before we're skewered."

---------------

They were in the parlor, playing some infernal game that Nathanyel's grandmother had made up, when there was a knock at the front door. He jumped up, looking far too excited for his own good, and ran for the entrance hall. Severus followed, thinking that he might have gone even more bonkers.

When they reached the entrance hall, a man with long brown hair and spectacles was handing some luggage off to a servant. He was accompanied by a woman and a little girl, both of whom looked oriental. "Louis!" Nathanyel cried, hurtling towards him. The man, Louis, apparently, managed to catch him with relative ease and minimal damage.

"Nathanyel, you shouldn't be so rough with me, you know. Shinji wouldn't appreciate it." Nathanyel looked ready to dance about like he had to pee.

"But I hardly see you! Is he coming, too? And Giselle? What about Uncle Laszlo, when's he getting here?"

"Soon, soon. Now, don't be rude."

"Hi Aunt Tsuki, hi Olivia!" The woman gave an elegant bow.

"Hullo," said the girl. "Who's that? A Snape? Oi, you're in trouble." Louis blinked and looked around at Severus rather incredulously.

"Are you serious? A Snape, here?"

"Severus is my friend," Nathanyel replied proudly. Severus wanted to sink into the floor.

"Hello," he said instead.

"We'd better keep him away from Florian," Louis commented earnestly. "And you'll have to fill Laszlo in. He'll be able to help you better than I can."

"Alright."

"We'll see you after we unpack." He patted Nathanyel on the shoulder and headed upstairs, the woman and the girl following him.

"Florian's my father," Nathanyel told Severus immediately. "He doesn't like you."

"Oh."

"Don't worry. He doesn't like me, either."

"Oh."

"C'mon, Lucius said he found something really cool in the study! Let's go look!"

"Alright, then."

---------------

There was a knock at the door, and Severus looked up to see Louis standing there, his hair loosely tied back. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know Nathanyel had a guest. Who might you be?" Severus just stared at him. Did the man suffer from memory loss? "I'm Nathanyel's uncle, Laszlo, by the way." He supposed that Laszlo must be Louis's twin, or something of the sort.

"I'm Severus Snape."

"A Snape?" He looked very surprised. After looking around a bit, he walked into the room and leaned down close to Severus, looking very serious. "Listen, I don't mean to alarm you... But I wouldn't recommend eating or drinking anything anyone gives to you. And... Make sure you aren't alone like this, anymore. Stay with Nathanyel or me, even Lucius- no one else. Do you understand?" Severus nodded. "And stay away from Florian and Gregory."

"Gregory?"

"Our father. You'll know him when you see him. Just keep your distance." With that, he straightened up and smiled warmly. "So nice to have you here with us. Nathanyel never gets visitors, you know." With that, he left.

"What did Uncle Laszlo say to you?" Nathanyel was back from the bathroom.

"Just warned me about your family."

"Good. I'm glad." He sat down next to Severus. "So let's play gobstones. No cheating this time, alright?"

"I never cheat at gobstones..."

---------------

"What are you doing?"

"I'm dancing! What does it look like?"

"It looks like you're having an apoplectic fit!" Severus crossed his arms, glaring as Nathanyel made a complete fool of himself. "It's too late for dancing, anyway."

"Naw, no it isn't!"

"It most certainly is," Lucius drawled as he stepped into the bedroom. "And shouldn't you be asleep? You're going back to school tomorrow, and you can't miss the train. Come on, now, to bed." Looking slightly sheepish, Nathanyel turned off the wireless and jumped into bed, grinning across the room as Severus. He sighed, and tucked himself in. "I can't believe I still have to look after you," Lucius grumbled, turning out the light.

"Lucius?" Nathanyel whispered.

"What?"

"Will you tell me a bedtime story?"

"No."

"Lucius?"

"What?"

"Can I have a hug?"

"No!"

"Lucius?"

"Augh, what is it now?"

"...I love you."

"...Go to sleep."

"Alright. Goodnight, Lucius."

"Goodnight."

---------------

"Severus?" Severus growled, putting down his textbook. He'd been making up a study chart for finals, but Nathanyel kept interrupting.

"What?"

"What's a douche?" Severus blinked, frowning.

"Excuse me?"

"A douche. Sirius Black called me a douche and I want to know what that is. You know, in case I want to say it to someone else."

"A douche is something a woman uses to clean out her vagina. Now, leave me alone."

"I wish they'd leave us alone. Don't you ever just want to strangle them?"

"Obviously you do, because you've already done so." Severus set down his book, resolving that he'd never get any work done. "But they wouldn't bother you so much if you didn't get yourself tangled up with them so often. What's with you and Lupin, anyway?"

"I like Remus."

"You've never even spoken to him properly! All you ever do is say hello to him in passing!" Nathanyel shrugged.

"I still like him." Severus rolled his eyes. "He likes you, too."

"What?"

"He likes you. I can tell, because he stares at you. A lot." Nathanyel tilted his head to the side, studying Severus carefully. "You know, I think he probably fancies you."

"Shut up!" Severus threw his quill at Nathanyel, and it bounced off weakly and fell to the floor. "Lupin doesn't like me, alright!? I would know!"

"Alright." Nathanyel shrugged. "Anyway, I was thinking-"

"Oh, no. Must you?"

"Yes. Anyway, you wanna stay over for the summer?" Severus blinked, a bit puzzled. He could hardly believe it, really.

"You mean... The whole summer?"

"Well, yeah. Unless you don't want to stay that long."

"It doesn't seem very fair. Why don't you stay with me half the summer and then we'll switch?" If there was one thing Severus didn't like, it was owing people.

"Alright! We'll have so much fun I know it!"

"Just... Don't act embarrassing like that."

"Alright." He smiled warmly and practically jumped on Severus.

"You're too affectionate." He pushed Nathanyel away. "You shouldn't show emotions like that, you know?"

"Tsh." Nathanyel waved his hand dismissively. "Lucius always says that."

"At least that's one thing Lucius is right about." Nathanyel rolled his eyes.

"Lucius is always right."

---------------

They were sitting in Severus' room, getting a head start on their summer assignments. Severus was trying to keep his hair in his face, but it wasn't working very well. It had never been a problem before, when his parent's had come home, but now... He didn't want Nathanyel to see. That was all.

"Severus..." Nathanyel suddenly looked very upset. He'd seen, of course.

"What?"

"You've got a black eye."

"Huh? Oh, this. It's no big deal, just my dad." Nathanyel tilted his head to the side, examining him with narrowed eyes.

"Oh. Alright, then." And he leaned down and kissed Severus on the eyebrow. "There, all better." Severus felt himself flush and looked back down at his homework.

"Don't do that. You shouldn't mother people."

"You spend an awful lot of time telling me what I should and shouldn't do. Maybe you should write a book?" He scowled a bit, but Nathanyel just smiled. "Anyway, your parents are home?"

"Yes."

"Can I meet them?"

"You'll see them around." Severus shrugged. "They don't even know I exist, it's not like they'd care about you."

"Then why did your dad hit you?" Nathanyel still seemed a bit put off by it.

"He just likes to hit people. Doesn't your dad ever hit you?"

"Oh, yes. He hits me a lot."

"See? There you go. No big deal." Nathanyel still didn't seem to agree with him.

"I don't like seeing you hurt. It makes me feel... Strange. Wriggly inside, like I swallowed worms. I just don't like it."

"Don't go making some sort of commotion about it," Severus warned. "Besides, they'll be gone in a few days, anyway. We'll have the whole place to ourselves; aside from the servants, that is."

"Alright." Nathanyel kissed his eyebrow again. "Feel better, okay?"

"Okay." Severus turned his eyes back to his homework, blushing.

---------------

"Oi! What are you lot up to?" Nathanyel's cousin, Olivia, was eyeing them shrewdly.

"Shh!" Nathanyel hissed. "I'm listening." He leaned closer to the door, looking as if he was straining very hard to hear Florian and Laszlo. He was fairly sure it was Laszlo; it sounded like him, anyway. Severus had been around long enough to know that Laszlo had multiple personalities, and sometimes it was hard to tell the difference between them. Except for Giselle; there was nothing difficult about recognizing a man dressed up as a French maid.

"What are they saying?" Severus muttered, still not quite sure what they were supposed to be doing.

"They're... They're leaving... Alright, you two go hide in that niche over there, the one with the green vase." Olivia ran off immediately, and Severus hesitated a bit before following. After Nathanyel had entered the room, he snuck up to the doorway to watch. He held his breath as Nathanyel crept up to the dining room table, eyes fixed on a discarded money bag. Carefully, he leaned over and picked it up, slowly backing away.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, BOY!?" Nathanyel jumped as Florian appeared in the other set of doors, looking beyond angry, then ran full speed towards Severus. He backed away to the niche immediately, watching Nathanyel barrel through the doors. Florian flew out after him, grabbed him by the collar, and with a great heave threw him against the wall. "You filthy little thief!" he growled, taking Nathanyel by the hair and tossing him to the floor. "No better than a common muggle, are you?" He kicked Nathanyel hard in the stomach, rewarded by a whimper. Severus wasn't sure whether to interfere or not; he wanted to, of course, but he didn't know if it would be in his best interests.

"Florian! Florian, leave him be!" Laszlo had entered the fray, latching onto Florian's arms. "Leave him alone! It's only a few galleons!"

"It's the principle of the thing!" Florian managed to struggle out of his grip and picked Nathanyel up by his collar. "Give it back, boy." Nathanyel slowly held out the money pouch and, with a low growl, Florian took it and tossed Nathanyel away. "If I find you stealing from me again, into the closet you go! Understood?"

"Y-yes."

"Stupid little bastard..." Florian muttered under his breath as he walked away. "Laszlo, come!" Laszlo gave them an apologetic look before following. Severus immediately ran to Nathanyel, helping him up.

"Are you alright?" he asked quietly, afraid he'd be overheard.

"You were awfully lucky," Olivia commented as she approached. Severus glared at her; younger children were annoying. Especially nine-year-olds. Nathanyel just grinned and started chuckling. "What's so funny, then?" Without a word, he reached into his pocket and took out a money bag that looked much more full than the one he'd tried to steal.

"Nicked it off the old man when he was beating me up," he breathed, still laughing. "What a douche!" With that, he raced off, up the main staircase. Severus followed, Olivia at his heels; not a word was said until they'd gotten to Nathanyel's room and shut the door firmly behind them.

"I didn't know you could do things like that," Severus muttered, starting to feel something bordering on admiration for his friend.

"Well, I had some practice. Anyway, I say we go get it changed to muggle money and have a day on the town."

"That sounds like fun!" Olivia exclaimed.

"You can't come," Nathanyel replied immediately.

"Why not?" She seemed very angry.

"You'll get into big trouble if you come with us. Uncle Laszlo would never forgive me. Besides, we're going to do boy things."

"Boy things? I know, you're going out to do what Lucius does with his friends." Severus flushed angrily.

"No we aren't!" he snapped at her.

"If we were going to do that," Nathanyel sighed, "we wouldn't go out. We'd stay right here."

"Yeah, that's what you want me to think, perverts. I don't want any part of it, anyway." With that, Olivia left.

"It's really for the best," Nathanyel muttered, moving over to the window. "There are bushes to break our fall, so we can just jump."

"Are you insane?" Severus asked, not for the first time.

"Come on, we can go eat muggle food and see muggle films, and maybe we can get some booze. Sounds fun, right?" Severus had to admit, it did sound rather intriguing. "Besides, there's nothing else to do around here." With that, he jumped out the window. With a great sigh and a feeling that they were going to be in deep shit when they got back, Severus followed. He wondered vaguely, as he crashed into the bushes, why he let himself get talked into these things. He would probably never know.