In A Time Of Uncertainty

Part Four, Chapter Six

"So let me make sure I've got this," said Oliver, wiping a bit of toothpaste from the corner of his mouth. "He likes me, he's glad we're together, but he thinks we're taking things too fast?"

"Yeah." Percy sat down on the edge of the bathtub. "He told me he knows he can't do anything about it, but he doesn't think I'm ready for a sexual relationship. Which of course makes me feel like utter crap, seeing as I lost my virginity when I was seventeen. Did your dad ever talk with you about sex."

"Yeah," replied Oliver as he screwed the cap back on the toothpaste. "None of it did me any good, though, seeing as there's no chance of you getting pregnant."

"I honestly thought I was going to die," Percy said. "No, I wanted to die. Then he asked if we were at least using condoms and I started thinking, 'Dear sweet Merlin, this is not happening. I am hallucinating. My father did not just ask me this question. I am not having a conversation with my father about safe gay sex.' And I didn't want to lie to him, so I said that we were fine, then he said that I was avoiding the question, so in the end I had to tell him that we don't." He sighed and stared at Oliver's feet. "Which meant that I then had to tell him that it wasn't an issue because we'd never had the opportunity to be exposed to any diseases."

"Penelope was a virgin?"

"Of course she was, we started dating when we were fifteen."

"That isn't any guarantee."

"Well, she was," Percy snapped. He was tired. "I'm the one who helped wash the blood out of the sheet, I think I should know."

"You're tired," said Oliver, turning towards the door.

"Of course I am," Percy admitted as he followed Oliver to the bedroom. "Tomorrow's Tuesday, we leave on Thursday, we've got to pack and figure out what to do with no longer one but two flats, you have that last match against the Holyhead Harpies. You have to play your last match on a team with stupid gits and Theo's funeral is tomorrow." He kicked off his slippers and got into bed, relishing the feel of cool blankets. "I'm thinking that we ought to give our flat to Fred and George and my old flat to Mundungus. He won't care about how tiny it is."

Oliver's eyes gazed, vaguely, at the ceiling. "That was kind of you," he said.

"Well, the flats have to go to someone and they're all currently homeless, so it's only the logical thing to do."

"Not that," said Oliver, his eyes snapping back into focus. He nudged Percy over and got into bed. "Washing the sheet."

"She couldn't get the stain out herself."

Oliver smiled, shook his head, and inched closer to Percy. "Shut up, Perce. It was a really sweet thing to do and you know it."

Lacking the strength of will to argue, Percy gave in. "Thanks." And the more he thought about it he realized it was kind, much kinder than the nights of coming in Oliver's hand, only to leave minutes later, that had followed. "I loved her," he said.

"I know you did."

"Even though I was an idiot I knew enough to love her." He nestled his head against Oliver's chest. "Even though I don't anymore I'm glad I did at the time."

"Me too," said Oliver, one finger grazing the top of Percy's hair before sliding down into the curls.

"Really?"

"Yeah, if you loved each other and she made you happy. I'm glad I dated all the blokes I did before I got to you." Got to you the second time, Percy thought. "Even though some of them were so unbelievably wrong for me, because I think they make me more grateful to have you."

"They didn't treat you badly, though, did they?" The thought of it made him feel ill.

"No, beautiful, they didn't," Oliver murmured. "They just weren't very mature, most of the time, and Gerald wasn't very smart."

"So why did you date them?"

"Why? Well, Gerald was nice, even if we had nothing in common, and it was okay with him that I didn't want to have sex. That was especially important then because Jonathan, the one before him, had a bad habit of slipping his hands down my trousers when I'd told him not to. I think he thought that if I was turned on enough I'd change my mind. He was a Muggle, too. Never even knew I was a wizard."

"What was his redeeming quality?"

Oliver made a clicking sound with his mouth. "I liked how he showed me off to his friends. Back then I was too ignorant to figure out that he was only proud of how muscular I was and didn't give a damn about my brain.

"Reginald I dated - "

"Reginald of the porn shop?"

"The same. Reginald I dated because he had a certain rugged quality that appealed to me. He - okay, this is embarrassing."

"What?" Percy asked immediately.

"He liked wanking me in back alleys and it was really good."

"You let him do that?"

Oliver sighed and rested his hand on the top of Percy's head. "Yeah, I did, although I'm not proud of it."

"He was the one after me, wasn't he."

"Yes, he was."

"Then I don't blame you at all. I wish you hadn't done it, but I can understand it." He stopped. "You two didn't do anything else, did you?"

"No, never," Oliver reassured him. "HIV paranoia - and he was definitely experienced. You know, I know it was really embarrassing to talk to your dad, but be glad he cares enough. Christopher's parents didn't gave a damn about him."

"I don't know who Christopher is."

"Friend of my cousin's who died of AIDS. It's weird, because I'd only met him maybe three times and we were never friends, really. When Christopher died, I hadn't seen him since I was fifteen. I was dating Reginald by then."

"Was that why you broke up with Reginald? Christopher dying?"

"Yeah. Not right away, after about a month. Then I found out he'd been cheating on me with his landlord and I thought, to hell with all this, I'm not doing anything with anyone until I know for an absolute fact that I can trust him."

"I'm sorry, Ol." Percy sat up slightly to kiss Oliver's forehead.

"Oh, it wasn't completely your fault. If I had to pick one thing that was the most to blame it would be those damn novels Jean-Marc wrote. They're great when you know they're just fantasy, but if you're seventeen and they're all you know about gay sex they're positively lethal. Wait, I take the 'all you know' part back. Jean-Marc and Louis are very committed to each other and always have been."

"I'd like to meet them."

"You probably will, sometime. Now enough with all this, you've got to sleep. Put your head here on my chest. That's it."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Theo Asato Worthington

, the headstone read. 1976-1996. Son, brother, and friend.

From where Percy stood with Oliver he could see Theo's parents standing on the other side of the grave. They were very calm, which made Percy feel guilty about the tears building up in his eyes; if Theo's own parents weren't crying, what gave him the right? Theo's two sisters and brother were equally silent.

The funeral was over, technically, but fifteen minutes later no one had left the grave. Lane stood to the left of Oliver along with his enormously pregnant wife. She looked around uncomfortably, the gaze of a woman witnessing the grief of strangers. Percy felt a rush of sympathy for her. When Remus was the first to leave the cemetery Lane noticed Claudette's rigid shoulders and they followed.

"Theo looked a lot like his mum," Oliver whispered once he and Percy were at the gate.

"Yeah." There were vines growing on the iron fence. "The rest of them look like his dad." He wondered if Theo's mother had thought of how the child closest to her mirror image was gone. He wondered if the rest of the family would be especially reminded of Theo when they looked at her.

"Hey, you two."

"Hello, Lane," Oliver said. He swallowed. "Hell of a way to see each other after two years."

Lane shifted uncomfortably. "This is Claudette," he said. "My wife. She's due in October."

"Hello," she said timidly.

A son is different than other sorts of relatives,

Percy could hear Oliver's father saying in his head. He's a part of you in a way that no one else is; he's literally a part of your blood. In him you can see yourself and your wife, along with things that are solely his own and no one else's.

"Congratulations," he said, and silently wished them luck as Theo's parents began to walk towards the fence.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Oliver had to leave for work immediately after they'd finished speaking with Lane and Claudette; he'd apparently aroused Penge's wrath with his sudden decision to leave the team and freshly provoked him by asking to have a few hours off. Percy was left to return to headquarters with Remus. Neither was in the mood to bother with magic and they decided to walk the short distance.