Another Prisoner, Another Professor

Harry, Ron, and Hermione are eating dinner after Draco Malfoy was cut by Buckbeak.

"They can't legitimately fire him, can they?" Hermione asked. "I mean, Hagrid told the entire class never to insult a hippogriff. It's Malfoy's own fault that he didn't listen."

"According to Malfoy and his father, Hagrid'll have told the class that hippogriffs have the personalities of little baby bunnies," said Ron, dismally poking at his steak-and-kidney pie. "I bet Malfoy's dad wishes that Hagrid was still in Azkaban and that every Muggle-born in the school was dead."

Harry looked past Ron's shoulder at the Slytherin table. The Slytherin third-years were gathered around one end, whispering furtively and looking over their shoulders every few seconds. Pansy Parkinson was sniffing rather loudly, surrounded by her gang of Slytherin girls, who were patting her on the shoulder and passing her handkerchiefs.

Ron turned to see what Harry was looking at. "Pathetic," he said, rolling his eyes, "the way some people go on. I suppose she fancies him."

Hermione reached for her glass of water. "Oh, Ron, you wouldn't happen to know of any boy called Astrophil, would you?"

"Astrophil? No, but I already feel sorry for the bloke. Why d'you want to know?"

"No reason," said Hermione, at the same time Harry said, "Hermione found his love letter."

"His love letter?"

Hermione gave both of them very irritated looks. "Harry, you shouldn't have told him! I told you before, it's the sort of thing a person wouldn't want anyone else reading."

"You read it," said Ron.

"Well honestly, Ron, of course I read it, I had to see what it was!"

"Yeah, but I bet you didn't just read the first few lines and think, 'Oh, some bloke's love letter, better stop now'!"

Dinner had ended; the entire school was leaving the Great Hall. Harry stood up to follow them.

"Why do you care about it anyway?" Hermione asked as they passed through the door.

"I don't," Ron retorted. "I don't care one way or another about some love letter. I just think it's stupid to say 'no one else should read it' when you've read it yourself."

"I would have stopped reading it," Hermione insisted. "It's just - well, it's a very odd sort of letter."

"Odd in what way?" asked Harry, mildly interested. He was tired of thinking about Malfoy and about the possibility of Hagrid getting sacked, and the idea of doing homework didn't sound much more appealing.

"Well, some parts are just sort of the standard 'I love you, you're wonderful' sort of thing - "

"There's a standard?" asked Ron, looking amazed.

" - but the rest is almost like a sort of code." They reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, already opened by someone ahead of them. "Oh, fine, I'll let you two read it if you want to."

"I only want to so I know what you're bloody talking about," Ron insisted.

The three of them sat at a table at the far end of the common room. Hermione took the letter from her bag and spread out the two sheets side by side. The letter began abruptly with no salutation.

I know you're going to laugh when you read this, as it's not often that I get all sappy on you, but I really am going to miss holding you in my arms while we're apart. (Stop laughing!) I don't know how you can stand to go there and listen to Eris and Ares for another second. I just hope Tithonus stays away like you think he's going to.

In the last few months I've really got used to being able to kiss you and being able to have you sit in my lap whenever we're alone. That's what I wanted most of last year, you know. Sometimes at dinner you'd be laughing at something P. said and I'd have to stop myself from staring at your mouth - your whole face, really, but your mouth in particular. Your lips looked as soft as I know they are now.

If you want to get away from Eris and the rest of them, don't be afraid - well, be cautious, but don't be afraid. You know you can stay at P.'s and that I'll visit you the minute I can. I'll bring W. as well if you want me to, though poor W. might wish he'd stayed home after I get my hands on you. (Joking...well, sort of. I'd be "gentlemanly" - ha! - and wouldn't kiss you until we were alone. IF then, as I'm still irritated at you for saying I'm the "perfect gentleman" in that sarcastic, mocking way you have.)

It's only two weeks, I just have to keep telling myself that, it's only two weeks and then we'll be together again.

Try to put up as best you can with Eris and Ares and how they complain about mortals. Not everyone thinks like they do, thank God. Don't listen to the Scourge, either, the nasty little git.

Love you always, Astrophil

"Someone's been keeping it for a while," Ron said when they'd finished, "if Astrophil wrote it before Christmas."

"But we don't know if that's when he wrote it," replied Hermione. "Maybe Astrophil and his girlfriend were together somewhere during the summer and she had to leave for two weeks. Eris and the rest of them are really vague too - I wonder why Astrophil's girlfriend would be afraid of getting away from them."

Harry skimmed the letter again. Eris at least sounded like someone in a position of authority, a relative perhaps. He tilted his head back and yawned.

"Hey, look, Hagrid's light is on," said Ron, who was looking out the window. "The dementors aren't that close to the school, right? We could go and see him if we're careful about it."

"I thought I'd go to the library and look for some of those books about blood magic," said Hermione. "Besides, I don't know if Harry should - "

"No one said I couldn't go on the grounds," said Harry at once. "You don't think the Grim or whatever it is will get me, do you?"

They put their books and other things in their dormitories and left the tower, anxiously listening for other footsteps in the corridors. No one crossed their path.

When they arrived at the hut Hagrid was sitting at his table, staring at an enormous tankard while Fang drooled on the floor. The smell of alcohol was so strong that it almost felt like a slap in the face.

"'lo," said Hagrid, after they had shut the door behind them. "Looks like Dumbledore'll hafta find a new teacher, eh?"

"They sacked you," said Hermione at once, an astonished look on her face.

Hagrid drained what was left in the tankard. "Nope. Not sacked - not sacked yet, tha' is. The way Malfoy's goin' on 'bout 'is arm, I 'spect the school gov'nors'll have me gone inna next couple o' hours."

"It couldn't have been that deep of a cut," Ron said, sitting down at the opposite end of the table. Harry and Hermione sat at the two remaining sides.

"'pparently he's still inna hospital wing," mumbled Hagrid, "cryin' on and on 'bout 'is arm."

"There's no way it's that bad," said Harry immediately. "Madam Pomfrey wouldn't let it be that bad, she regrew all the bones in my arm last year and I got through it all right. He's just faking it to see if he can get you sacked, I bet you anything."

"Thought hippogriffs woulda made a good firs' lesson," Hagrid said, staring miserably at the empty tankard. "Better'n puffskeins or flobberworms..."

"They did, until Malfoy didn't listen and got himself cut," said Hermione intensely. "I learned lots, didn't you two?"

"Yeah," said Harry and Ron in unison.

"It isn't your fault he didn't listen to you," she continued. "We'll tell that to Dumbledore. You did everything right, it's Malfoy who's the problem."

Hagrid looked a bit less dismal. "Tha's what Professor Black said."

"Professor Black?" Harry asked. "Was he here?"

"Oh yeah, he stopped by 'bout ten minutes or so ago," replied Hagrid. "Said Malfoy didn' listen t'him on the train and he wouldn' be s'prised if Malfoy didn' listen to me."

"D'you know him well?" asked Harry, though he knew that Hagrid must.

Hagrid blinked at him a few times and then suddenly stood up with a great effort and walked out the door; Hermione gave Harry a nervous look and followed him. Moments later there was a splash.

"He stuck his head in a water barrel," said Hermione, coming back inside a moment before Hagrid, whose hair and beard were soaked and dripping on the floor.

Hagrid reached for a towel and began to rub at his beard. "What was it y'asked me 'gain?"

"If you knew Professor Black well."

"Oh yeah," answered Hagrid, "righ' decen' bloke. Knew 'im when he was in school, and a bit after s'well. He coulda taught 'ere before, as a matter o' fact, if e'd wanted to."

"Really?"

"Yep. Back after ol' Professor Carter retired, Dumbledore 'ad two people 'e was considerin' for the job - teachin' Potions, tha' is. He offered it teh Sirius Black first, but Sirius 'ad other plans, so Dumbledore offered it teh Snape."

That explained Snape's hatred, Harry thought; Snape would never want to be thought second-best when it came to Potions, or anything else he cared about, for that matter.

"Feelin' better now," Hagrid said. "Glad you lot came teh see me, hope - "

He stopped, his mouth still open, and looked at Harry with a horrified expression on his face.

"YEH CAN'T BE WANDERIN' 'BOUT AFTER DARK!" he bellowed, so loud that Fang began to bark. "WHAT WITH A MURDERIN' WEREWOLF LOOSE! WHAT'RE YEH THINKIN'?!"

Hagrid threw open the door and pulled Harry to it, with Ron and Hermione following. "I'm glad yeh care 'bout me, but if I catch yeh out after dark again...! Now c'mon, I'm takin' the lot of yeh back to school."