Pink Flamingos and Flying Cars

A few hours later, I was hanging clothes in my closet and arranging notebooks and pencils on my desk. Aunt Linda and Uncle Vic had given me the guest room upstairs and it was much more than I could have asked for. There was a desk, a chest of drawers, and a bed underneath a closed window that appeared to face into the backyard. It was not large, but much roomier than the flat I stayed in with 4 roommates in London. As far as I was concerned, this was a palace. After everything had been put in its proper place, I smiled as I looked around at my little piece of heaven. "Finally," I thought to myself happily, "2 months of peace, quiet and relaxation." I couldn't believe the holidays were here so fast, but now that they were I was planning on doing nothing but reading, maybe seeing a few movies, and if all else fails - sleeping. These were three things I never got to do in hectic London, and as far as I could see, nothing even slightly exciting was bound to happen on Privet Drive, which suited me just fine.

I flopped down on my bed and allowed my mind to wander off idly to the sound of some bird noises. The mid-afternoon sun was warm and cast long golden shapes all around the room. Roxie had found her way upstairs and after surveying my work, trotted over to my bed, and somehow managed to hoist herself up next to me. She panted and yawned with contentment as I scratched her between the ears. A slight breeze seemed to be floating around as well, which surprised me since I hadn't even noticed a second window in the room before. I forced my head to twist around and see a smallish, open window outlined with old, yellow lace curtains. Forcing myself to get up, I made my way to the window lazily and upon looking outside, drew back sharply.

I was looking directly into another room.

"Yup," I thought, surveying the opposite window which was about 3 feet away from me, "this is some neighborhood alright." Who builds houses so the windows face each other? And of all the houses, I was looking right into the Dursley home. "Great" I mumbled out loud, "Dudley's tantrums can be my wake up call...how convenient." Suddenly there was a small movement in the opposite room. Curiosity got the better of me and I peered into the window stealthily while hiding behind the wall.

From my discrete hiding spot I got a good look at this mysterious room. The walls were almost completely bare, save a calendar. The dresser and what little furniture was within looked old and dusty. Even the afternoon sun couldn't take the gloom away from this dungeon-like chamber. The only life I could detect inside it was a small, skinny boy of about 11 or 12. It then struck me that this must be Harry. I thought incredulously, "I'm going to have a first class view of the criminally insane kid." I half expected him to jump up and begin doing a dance for conjuring evil spirits, and waited apprehensively. Harry did nothing of the sort. There was something that looked like a cage next to him on the rickety bed and on closer inspection I noticed a large doll in his arms. While trying desperately to get my eyes to adjust to the light difference, I could have sworn that the doll blinked. I caught my breath. That was no doll. It was a real, living, bird, and it was sitting on his arm. Not just any bird, but a handsome, white owl to be exact. Harry was smiling and stroked the bird fearlessly as it responded with a soft hooting noise and lazily closed its large amber eyes. My thoughts immediately drifted to my own childhood; I had spent a good portion of it begging and pleading with my parents for a pet of my own. I had started by asking for a dog, and after finding no positive response, decided to settle for any breathing member of the animal kingdom. I ended up with fish, and while fish are a wonderful non-intrusive pet, I quickly discovered that they did not do well outside of their tank and were not necessarily good company inside it either. I snapped back from my mind's wanderings by wondering how on earth the Dursleys would allow this boy that they disliked so much to keep such a fantastic pet.

Just then, there was a sound much like a stampede of elephants from the hallway outside his room which made Harry and the owl turn towards it in surprise. Scrambling, Harry quickly put the owl, which had opened its magnificent wings at his sudden movement inside the cage and locked it just in time. There was banging on the door and the bull horn which was Mr. Dursley's voice could be heard bellowing something about staying inside the room, making no noise and perhaps the Battle of 1812, but I couldn't be too sure from the racket he was making. Finally, the shouting stopped and Mr. Dursley could be heard stomping back downstairs as Harry let out a sigh of relief from within the confines of his cell.

I too let out a sigh of relief, and was still trying to get over the shock of Mr. Dursley's harangue, when a loud bang exploded from the floor below me and nearly threw me out the window I was peering out of. The sound seemed to have shaken the house to its foundation. Even Roxie, who had silently moved herself next to me on the ground under the window, looked rather rattled - extremely odd for a dog with only one main facial expression. I quickly ducked, to keep from being discovered, and only too soon, since both Harry and his owl, startled by the sound, turned and looked right into my window. Harry ran to the window facing my room and stuck his head out completely to look into our downstairs kitchen window, where the sound had come from. There was then a loud clanging sound from downstairs and a string of indeterminate curses.

After I extracted my heart from my front teeth, I kept my head low to keep from being seen, scampered out of my room and flew down the stairs, expecting to have to scrape my relatives off the walls. Roxie had followed me down the stairs and nearly ran into my legs which were frozen to the ground after I had gotten a look at the kitchen. The walls were covered with what looked like green slime with bits of vegetables strewn in between. My uncle was frozen in mid action with a shocked look on his face and the top of a pressure cooker in one hand. The front of his apron had gotten the major part of the eruption and was coated in the same greenish material that coated the walls. Aunt Linda must have rushed in a second before me, and she had her hand on her forehead and was muttering to herself with her eyes closed.

"Oh my..." said Uncle Vic, finally finding his voice. "It's certainly never done that before!" He chuckled a bit and came close to elbowing Aunt Linda in the ribs but one look from her made him think better of it. "I must have kept it too high....yes that must have been it." He seemed to be reasoning it out.

"Are...are you...both alright?" I asked uncertainly, looking at the frazzled looks on both their faces. Feeling a little stuck for words, I said the first thing that came to mind.

"Wow...I can see that dinner is going to go off with a bang!" I looked around hoping to ease the tension. Fortunately, Uncle Vic seemed to have appreciated my joke.

"A bang! Haha! Yes, my dear, a bang, indeed!" He and I chuckled nervously and quieted down after a look at my stern aunt, who hadn't cracked even a grin.

"Well, since you both appreciate this situation so much, why don't you both clean it up?" She pulled two brooms and sponges out of a cupboard. "Honestly, Vic, you knew I put new wallpaper up last week!" While she went on about the wall paper, I suddenly heard a noise from outside. I stuck my head out the window, looked up, and for one second I made eye contact with Harry, who was still listening and watching the pressure cooker drama with interest. Before I could say anything, he quickly drew himself in and shut the window with a click.