Harry and Ron Discover the Internet

Harry and Ron Discover the Internet

Setting-Harry and Ron (Hermione's in the castle studying) have sneaked into the Shrieking Shack, and have found a Muggle computer.

Ron-Wow...Harry, what is this??

Harry- That's a computer, Ron, Dudley has one at home.

Ron- Hey Harry, what's this button do?

Harry- I'm not sure, Ron, Dudley never let me use the computer, but I did once play it when the Dursleys' weren't home. Why don't you turn it on.

Ron- *Presses the power button on the computer*

**Computer makes funny noises and turns on**

Ron- Ahh! Harry, I think I broke it!

Harry- No, you dumbfuck, you didn't break it; you must've turned it on.

Ron- Oh. Now what do I do?

Harry- I don't know, click around.

Ron- Umm, click around with what?

Harry- The mouse, you dumbass.

Ron- *Getting frantic* What mouse Harry?! WHAT MOUSE!!?
Harry- Holy crap, calm down. The little egg shaped thingy next to the computer, put your hand on it, and click on stuff.

Ron- Ohhh...*finds the mouse, but doesn't touch it*

Harry- *Sighs* Now what's wrong?

Ron- *Looks very confused* Well, don't I have to give the mouse cheese so it won't bite me?

Harry- *Sighs* No. It's not really a mouse. That's just what dumbass Muggles call it.

Ron- *Reluctantly puts hand on mouse, and clicks on the Internet icon* Oh shit!

Harry, I think I broke it again!! It's changing screens!! *getting frantic again*

HELP ME HARRY!!

Harry- *Rolls eyes* you didn't break it. It's connecting to the Internet.

Ron- Harry, what's the Internet?

Harry- Umm...well, it's this thing where you can do lots of fun stuff.

*picks up old porno magazine* Here, Ron, type in this address.

Ron- Hmmm, type... How?

Harry- Move over, you dumbass. *Types in address and presses go*

*Computer goes to a dirty site*

Ron- Wow. *Giggles* Harry, this is a funny site.

Harry- No it isn't, you dumbass. It's a porno site. It's where guys go to, um, well, its just where some weird guys go to do, er, stuff.

Ron- What, you mean weird guys like Snape?

Harry- *Imagines Snape going on a dirty site and makes a face at Ron*

No Ron, people like Snape would not go on these types of sites. I hope not.

Ron- Oh. Harry, this is getting boring, let's go somewhere else.

Harry- *Types in a made up word* Ok Ron, let's see if my favorite made up word is a website.

**Computer goes to Schnoogle.com**

Ron- Hey Harry, that guy at the top looks like Draco Malfoy, only sexier.

Harry- *Looks at Ron* um, yeah. Sure. *clicks on a link to a fic* let's see what this is.

**computer goes to a very dirty Harry/Draco fic**

Ron- *Reads fic, then looks at Harry* Harry, what the hell have you been doing late at night?

Harry- Wha-*reads fic*WHAT THE FUCK?!! Holy shit. I have not been doing this. Whoever wrote this is horribly perverted. *goes back to home page and

clicks on a fic with Ron's name in it* Let's read this one.

*computer goes to a dirty Ron/Hermione fic*

Harry- *Reads fic and smiles* So Ron, what have you been doing late at night. Or should I ask Hermione?

Ron- Huh? What the hell are you talking about? *reads fic and freaks out* HOLY CRAP. This is scary, Harry. I swear I didn't do that. Or that. Or that. Eww. But I do fancy Hermione. But I wouldn't do that. Or that. Or tha-

Harry- OKAY. Shut up Ron, I get your point.

****Fred and George walk through the door****

Fred- Hi Harry, hi Ronnikens.

George- Hi Harry, hi Ronald.

Ron- Suck it.

Fred- *Whispers to Harry and George* Must be 'That time of the month ',

If you know what I mean.

**Computer goes to a very strange Fred/George fic**

Ron and Harry- *Reading and rolling on the floor laughing uncontrollably*

Fred- *Reads fic and looks at George* Oh no, George, I think they found out our secret.

George- What secret? *Reads fic* Fred, you're a really strange person.

Fred- Yeah, well, you're my twin, so you're as strange as I am.

Ron- Wait, wait. What the hell are you talking about? Secret? What secret?

*Figures out the secret and looks at the twins* You guys are gross!!

Harry- *Absorbed in a steamy Draco/Hermione fic* huh? What happened?

Ron- Fred and George, well, that story we were reading. Um, I guess it's true.

Fred- Oh yeah, it's true. *looks at George* right, George?

George- Oh, yeah. It's true. Yup. Allll true.

Ron- *Looks at the twins, then to the fic, then back to the twins* Oh my God, I'm related to a pair of homosexuals!

Fred- Oh, come on. Are you really that thick? Can't you tell that we're joking?

Harry- *Looks at the twins* Oh, yeah. I didn't believe you one bit. Nope. Not at all. Not one teensy, weensy, tiny, itty bitty bit.

George- Sure Harry...

Ron- *Looks at the computer* Harry, what the hell were you reading?

Harry- What? Oh, um, nothing *quickly clicks out of the very steamy Draco/Hermione fic that he was reading*

Fred- *Hits the back button and reads the fic* Harry, you're a perverted weirdo, I hope you know that.

Harry- No I'm not. Go screw yourself.

Fred- *Finds another fic about Fred and...himself...and reads it* Apparently it seems I can... *Cocks head to one side and looks closer* Hmmph,

there's an idea ...

George- *Goes back and reads fic that Harry was reading* Harry, why were you reading this? What's your problem?

Ron- *Clicks on another fic*

**Computer goes to a kinky Sirius/Remus fic**

George- Ron, why the hell did you click on this??

Ron- I don't know!!!

Harry-Hey guys, do you think this actually happened?

Fred- No Harry, this didn't happen.*Shudders* I think. I hope.

Harry- *Clicks on the Astronomy Tower section* Hey look, this one's about Ginny. And Draco. Eew. *Clicks out before anyone reads it*

Ron- Harry, let's go back here tomorrow night, this is fun. *Turns to Fred and George* You guys can come to, if you want.

The Twins- Sure. We'll be here

Harry- Cool. Hey look! A story about Fred and Oliver!

George- What?!! Let me see *Reads fic* Fred, you're gonna be teased for the rest of your life for this. But I must ask one question, we all know how fiery Oliver is on the Quidditch pitch, but is he that fiery in bed?

Fred- *Blushes* Well, actually he-- No! What's wrong with you? *Goes to a very, descriptive Hermione/George fic* Hey George, look at this. I'm gonna tell Hermione and tease you for the rest of your life!

George- Screw you.

*******Goes on like this for the rest of the night, until everyone goes back to their dormitories. Same thing happens next night, and the next, until Harry, Ron, Fred, and George have read every single fanfic from Scnoogle, Riddikulus, The Dark Arts, and Astronomy Tower, and I mean every single fic.*******