Trubble In Paradise

Prologue: Snape's Worst Birthday

Severus Snape, Potions Master at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, woke up one August morning with a pounding headache. As he got out of bed, he couldn't find his favorite fuzzy pink slippers, so he had to walk barefoot all the way across the cold, hard floor to his dresser so he could grab his wand and use a Summoning Charm to locate them.

As he walked into his bathroom, he tripped over a furry brown ball and fell flat on his already-squashed nose (Stupid cat!) When Snape got up, he reached for his toothpaste, but didn't find it next to the kitchen sink where it usually was. Instead, he found it between his toes as he stepped backwards (Stupid Cat!). The magic mirror said to Snape as he stared angrily at his reflection, "You sure aren't getting any younger, Sunny!" It was at that moment that Snape realized that it was his thirty-sixth birthday (Just great. Only four more years 'till I'm over the hill.) Snape made a mental note to discard the cheeky mirror. Snape decided to skip brushing his teeth and took a shower instead. To his dismay, he was almost out of Shneagles, Ultimate Hair De-Oilifying Shampoo (Hmpf, I only used it twice!). As he reached to adjust the showerhead, he slipped on the bar of soap and fell (Oh, my aching back!).

When Snape got out of the shower, he put on his pink-and green striped bathrobe only to find it covered in long, brown, wispy hairs (Stupid Cat!). It took forever for Snape to find his wand when he came out of the bathroom, until he discovered that fat old Artemis was sitting on top of it (Stupid cat!). As he walked down the stairs, he tripped over an empty tin of sardines and rolled the rest of the way down and landed on his skinny behind (Stupid cat!). Snape got up very undignified, and it was very clear to see that Snape was in a VERY BAD MOOD (or at least more so than usual).

Snape stormed into the kitchen and opened the pantry to find that he was out of his favorite cereal, Cheesy Bat Flakes (And I wanted some too!) He had to eat scorched toast and runny eggs instead (due to his lack of cooking skill, even with a wand). As he began to eat his scrumptious [cough] breakfast, the chandelier fell down narrowly missing him (stupid attic ghoul!).

After breakfast, Snape decided to work on some potions. As he went down to his secret laboratory, he slipped on some sniffler grease, once again landing on his skinny behind (Aaaaaarrrrgh!). He decided to try his hand at one of those new Slow and Painful Death Poisons, but he was out of diced scarab beetles (Drat!), so he had to work on a cure for lycanthropy instead (Dang it, Dumbledore!) He didn't get very far though, because Artemis kept clawing on the door (Stupid cat!). Snape finally let the cat in and tried again to concentrate. It was pretty hard though, considering that Artemis kept knocking over various potions and ingredients in the lab (No, you stupid cat!). After a couple of hours, Snape gave up and trudged back upstairs, Artemis close behind him.

Snape walked into his private library, next to his bedroom. He sat down in his favorite dark green reading chair, only to jump back up again, due to Artemis's claws sinking into his rear (Stupid cat! One of these days I'm going to sell you to the Muggles!). He yanked the cat out of his chair and threw it across the room. Snape sat down again and began reading one of his favorite books, A Teacher's Guide To Inventive and Memorable Punishments by Arguseaus Filch.

After a couple hours of pleasurable reading, and feeling slightly better, Snape went back to the kitchen to make himself a sandwich. Unfortunately, Snape was all out of dragon liver, so he had to use peanut butter instead (Yech!). As he ate his lunch, Artemis began scratching on the door and meowing rather loudly. Snape got up and threw the cat out the door (Stupid cat!). He gulped down a glass of pumpkin juice and went back down to his laboratory.

He began again working on the cure for lycanthropy. After four hours of hard concentration, he was able to make an improvement on the Wolfsbane Potion. It had the same properties as the Wolfsbane Potion, but it also decreased the pain that took place during transformation and also decreased the time that the drinker was under the transformation. He would have to bring it to Dumbledore (Hmpf, I hope Lupin chokes on it!). Snape packed up his ingredients and trudged back up to the kitchen. A quick glance at the clock told him it was already four in the afternoon (Drat!). Suddenly, he heard a rapping sound on the window. (Quit that incessant knocking!) As he opened the window, two owls soared through. A barn owl flew to his arm, nuzzling Snape's neck, while a tawny owl soared and perched itself on Snape's kitchen sink, puffing up its feathers importantly and hooting rather loudly. Snape first gently took the letter from the barn owl, and read it:

Father,

Hew. What's up?- As Brad would say. I'm having a blast here in France, but I didn't meet any cute girls- yet. So... any luck opening my room? Don't freak! I'm kidding. I'll be Apparating sometime this week in time for Diagon Alley. Hey, between you and I, I think McGonagall likes you, but keep it on the D.L! See ya.

Love,

Tom

Snape sighed. I don't know what I'm going to do with that boy, he thought to himself as he let the owl back out the window. Ever since his wife had died a few months ago, taking care of Tom had become very trying. I hope that boy doesn't get into too much trouble, he thought with an increase in his frown. He then wrenched the letter from the other owl's talons and shoved it back out the window. Snape ripped open the Headmaster's seal and read,

Meet me at once! There is urgent business to attend to!

Snape snorted and stuffed the envelope into the pocket of his robes (Hmpf, I wonder what Dumbledore wants this time!). He pulled out his wand, and with a load crack, Disapparated.

Meanwhile...

Calidia (or Callie as most of her friends would call her) Maye Trubble, former top prankster at Salem School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, sat at the kitchen table, laughing her head off while Sirius described another one of the pranks he and his partners in crime had pulled on Snape during their schooling at Hogwarts.

"Oh, oh! And the time we turned Snape into a teddy bear and gave him to this girl for Christmas and, and he didn't turn back for a whole month!" Callie fell out of her chair laughing.

Suddenly, a very handsome man walked into the room. His golden-brown hair and tall, sturdy build caught her attention. "Hey Moony! Come over here!" A pair of baby blue eyes flitted to Sirius and then rested on her.

"So you're the werewolf! Sirius told me all about you!" she exclaimed.

A very annoyed Lupin turned to Sirius and repeated, "You told her all about me?"

"Yeah! About how we'd go to the Shrieking Shack and everything!"

"Nice to know you can keep a secret."

Callie butted in and said, "You know what? My best friend's dad is werewolf! He's really cute and sends us all sorts of cool stuff. He even taught at Hogwarts as a DADA teacher for a few years back, but only for a year because he had to resign because some prejudiced, stuck-up, self-righteous bast-" She cut off, seeing the look on Lupin's face.

"Well anyways, he's teaching at Hogwarts again this year, same position. He's supposed to be an awesome teacher. Once, she showed me this photo of him and he actually looks a lot like you. What's your name?"

"Lupin. Remus J. Lupin," he said, a little disturbed.

Callie stared for awhile, then laughed and said, "No, really. What's your name?"

"Lupin," he repeated.

Still not believing, she turned to Sirius and asked, "What's his real name?"

"Lupin," Sirius said.

"What?" She exclaimed, turning back to Lupin. "Are you serious? That's my best friend's dad's name! Do you have a daughter named Jess?"

"Yes," Lupin said, looking at her rather oddly.

"Really? I'm Callie Trubble," she exclaimed, holding out her hand.

Lupin laughed and shook her hand. "So you're the girl who's gotten my Jess into so much trouble."

"Sure am!" she smiled brightly.

Suddenly, two blurs, one red and one black, came streaming into the kitchen. Sitting on either side of Callie, the Weasley twins simultaneously snatched a piece of toast from the platter and began chomping down. Callie laughed and said, "You guys eat even faster than me!"

George (or was it Fred?) said, "I don't know. You're pretty good competition."

Callie laughed again and said, "Okay. Who's who again?"

"George" said, "I'm Fred," and "Fred" said, "I'm George." Both of them gave her extremely weird looks.

"Okay. I think I've got it. Now how is your shop in Diagon Alley doing?"

"Highest consumer satisfaction in all of Diagon Alley," George said, examining his cuticles.

"And we made, well, only around six million Galleons last month," Fred said, puffing out his collar.

"Really. Do you have a catalog? Or something? I want to see if your merchandise is of any worth." Fred smirked and pulled out a catalog from his fancy Muggle briefcase. Callie scanned through it and looked back up at an expectant Fred and George.

"Well?" They asked at the same time.

"Half of this is not bad. Um, can I order something from you now, or do I have to wait to visit Diagon Alley?"

"Depends on what you want, mademoiselle," Fred said, in a very fake French accent.

"Okay. I'd like one set of Extendable Ears."

"That's it?" George asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Well, I haven't bought my school supplies yet, and I want to save some money for when I check out this Diagon Alley everyone has been raving about."

"Alright, if you want to be stingy about it, we do have a set with us," Fred said, pulling out a small box out of the briefcase.

"Hey! No guilt trips! You yourself just said that you made six million galleons last month. I think you should be giving me a discount."

"Nice try, Callie. That'll be fifteen Galleons."

"What?!! Fifteen galleons? You've got to be kidding! Make it seven."

"Thirteen."

"Nine."

"Eleven."

"Ten."

"It's a deal!" George grinned and took the money, while Fred handed her the box.

"Oh. Speaking of school supplies, Callie, here's your list." Callie, Fred, and George turned around to look at Sirius, who walked over and handed her an envelope.

"Sirius, thanks, but I mentioned school supplies about five or ten minutes ago," Callie said, giving him a how-stupid-can-you-get look.

"Yeah, but it didn't click until now." Lupin rolled his eyes.

Suddenly, Callie turned to Fred and said, "Oh my gosh! Your hair! And those eyes!" Fred, in contrast to George's wild red curls and caramel brown eyes, looked very different indeed. Fred's usual crazy red hair was now jet-black that had a tendency to fall into his eyes. His eyes were also black, to the point where you could get lost in them for hours.

"What'd you do to yourself?"

"I changed both my eyes and my hair to black." Fred told her, while George burst out laughing, unable to contain it anymore.

"Yeah. I noticed that. But why?"

"Took you long enough," George said, wiping his eyes. "He decided he could probably get a girlfriend better if we looked different. And he has always wanted to be tall, dark, and mysterious. Well, he's gotten one out of the three." Fred elbowed him.

"Are you saying I'm short?"

"Sure looks like it."

"You idiot! We're the same height!" They both laughed.

"How long will it last?" Callie asked.

"Oh, it's permanent. Fred will have to go through the rest of his life looking like he fell in an ink jar."

"Watch it!"

"You do know that your mom will absolutely freak out," Callie pointed out.

"Oh yeah. That's part of why I did it."

"Good thinking."

"Callie, dear!" Molly screamed from the top of the stairs.

"Coming!" She screamed back. "Your hair doesn't look that bad. Oh, and Lupin, it was really nice meeting you," she added before running up the stairs. After she left, Lupin turned to Sirius.

"What?"

She's going to stay with Snape," Lupin said with a wink.

"Oh. In that case maybe we should give her a little friendly advice," Sirius winked back.

"I don't know, I have the feeling she'll cook up a few ideas of her own." The two of them looked at each other then erupted into gales of laughter.

When Callie reached the top of the stairs, she found a distraught Molly in the drawing room trying to de-Doxify the curtains. Mrs. Weasley had lost a lot of weight in the past few months, and her eyes always seemed to droop with fatigue.

"Callie, dear," Molly Weasley, said, wiping the sweat off her brow. "You need to clean your room. Headmaster Dumbledore is coming shortly to see you."

"Okay, Mrs. Weasley. But where is everyone? I haven't seen anybody from the Order today. They always drop in."

"Arthur's at work, Tonks, Moody, and Shacklebolt are at the Ministry, and Ginny is visiting poor Ron at St. Mungo's. I don't know where Fred and George are, though," she said with a light frown.

"They're in the kitchen. Guess what? I met Lupin for the first time. He's actually my best friend Jess's dad."

"That's nice, dear. But you need to quit stalling and go clean your room." Callie sighed. You couldn't get anything past Mrs. Weasley. She walked across the room, opened the door to her right, and walked in.

The room was a disaster. Clothes were strewn all over the place, and textbooks littered the floor. An empty owl cage on top of the bookshelf was in need of a good cleaning, and copies of Sixteen Witch were on top of her bed. In the corner, her cauldron was out, and numerous potions ingredients surrounded it.

Luckily I can still do magic, she thought with a grin. A couple of seconds later, her room was in perfect order. I'll have to thank Jess for teaching me that one, she thought, thinking back, to they two years it had taken her to master it back at Salem. She grabbed a copy of 1001 Ways To Drive Your Professor Crazy, by Gred and Forge Smeasley, off the shelf and began reading it.

Half an hour later, Dumbledore Apparated into the room, causing Callie to jump. "Hello, Headmaster," She said, a little shaken.

"Call me Dumbledore. Everyone else does."

"Dumbledore," she repeated.

"You're probably wondering why I am here," Dumbledore said as he crossed the room and sat down on the bed next to Callie. She nodded.

"Now, about your parents-"

"I don't want to talk about that," she said, with a slight edge to her voice.

"Yes, yes, of course. I was thinking about where you were going to stay."

"Why can't I stay here? Have I been that bad?"

"No. Not at all. It's just that Cornelius Fudge, the Minister of Magic here in England, insists on knowing where you are. And since you are currently staying here at Headquarters, I was not exactly able to tell him."

"Oh. Then where are you sending me?"

"You will be staying with one of your new professors, Severus Snape."

"Snape?" she enquired, a mischievous grin spreading across her face.

"You've met him?" Dumbledore looked highly amused.

"No, but I've heard of him," she said, thinking back to the kitchen.

"Good. He should be here any minute. Now about your classes. You have two elective classes-"

"Muggle Studies and Divination," she said automatically.

Dumbledore chuckled and said, "Very well. It looks like you have your mind made up." A door slamming sounded downstairs, and he looked at Callie. "That would be Severus. Just sit tight and I'll be back in a few moments." With that, he left the room. Callie turned on the Extendable Ears, and then picked up her book.

Meanwhile...

A few seconds later after receiving the letter, Snape Apparated at 12 Grimmauld Place, the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. Snape watched as a building magically inflated between numbers 11 and 13. Snape glanced around and then stepped inside. Snape's not-so-small nose wrinkled as he took in the scent of molding furniture and dusty cobwebs. He walked through the entryway, ducking so he wouldn't hit his head on a chandelier adorned with several large spiders. He climbed the spindly stairs, feeling a little uneasy as the faded portraits sneered back at him. He finally reached the door at the end of the hall and strode in.

"How pleasant to see you," Dumbledore's low, rumbly voice greeted him. Snape stared at the ancient wizard. Dumbledore's smile was hampered, more wrinkles adorned his face, and even some of the sparkle had left his deep blue eyes. Clearly all this business of trying to convince the Ministry of Magic of definite action against Voldemort had not added to the man's health.

"I'm quite alright, Severus," Dumbledore said, seeming to read Snape's thoughts.

Snape, not at all surprised, replied, "So what is this 'urgent business'?" Dumbledore gestured for Snape to sit down in an orange squashy armchair to his right.

"Do you remember hearing about the young American witch that is coming to Hogwarts this school year?"

"Yes, yes, of course. The girl you decide to allow her to break the no-transfer policy. What about her?"

"Well, on the long boat ride here to London, there has been an accident."

"Yes?"

"The ship ran into a rocky ledge and sank."

"The girl died?"

"No. She was the only found survivor. But her parents are dead."

"That is quite the tragic tale, but what does any of that have to do with me?" Snape asked, rapidly loosing whatever patience he previously had.

"She needs a place to stay for the summer until we can come up with a more permanent home."

"And?"

"I need the girl to stay with you for a week until Hogwarts starts."

"WHAT?!!" Snape had jumped completely out of his chair, his hat askew. His black eyes were bulging out of his head and he was giving Dumbledore a look of utter disbelief.

"I need the girl to stay with you," Dumbledore repeated.

"Why can't she stay with Molly?"

"She is under enough stress and grief with having her son Ron being sent to St. Mungo's for insanity. And Harry was like another son to her. For Molly, Harry dying struck a major blow. For her to take on another child at the moment might be too much for to handle. And staying at Headquarters is not healthy for the girl. She needs to get away from all the grief and news of war. So I need you to take her in. "

"Fine. Molly can't take her in. But can't someone else?"

"I'm not sure. I think that you would be the best suited for the job."

"But I don't know how to deal with-"

"Oh, don't be silly. You are a teacher. You even have a son. You ought to know plenty about dealing with children."

"How'd you know- never mind. But you see, I'm really busy-"

"As are the rest of us. I am sure that with your capabilities, you will be able to manage. Besides, it's only for a week. I'm sure you can handle that."

"No, I can't! Absolutely out of the question. I'm having enough trouble trying to keep up with preparing lessons for this school year, duties for the order, and a son of my own, without taking caring of some stuck-up teenage witch from America!

"I guess I should have listened to McGonagall. She told me you weren't capable of keeping everything in your life in order as it is with out a major change like this. She said that you didn't have what it takes to keep a sixteen-year old witch in check."

"I am perfectly capable of doing so! I just-"

"It's all right, Severus. I understand. I'm sorry to have bothered you. You can go back home and get back to your demanding responsibilities. McGonagall is more than willing to take the child in."

"No! I can take the child in! McGonagall doesn't-"

"No, no. It's all right, Severus. McGonagall will take the girl in."

"No she will not! I will take the girl!"

"Are you sure you want to, Severus? Her parents just died and she is suffering from a lot of grief. She may resent your authority,"

"I'll be able to handle her. Besides, like you said, it's only for a week. I should be able to take care of her for that long. But where will she go after that? School doesn't start until September 1^st."

"Since you will have to leave early as usual for the upcoming school year, she will have to go somewhere. As all available guardians will be at Hogwarts, she will arrive early and will be watched after at the school."

"She'll be arriving before the official start of the school year? That's against school policy-"

"Under the circumstances, we will have to let that slide. Besides, it will be a lot easier keep track of that girl with the Anti-Apparition boundaries set up at Hogwarts, not to mention all the extra pairs of eyes. Now, I thought that you would need a little time to collect yourself before going back to Hogwarts this year, so why don't you drop her off at Headquarters the night before your departure? Remus can take her with him on his way there. How does that sound?"

"I guess it will do." Bloody Lupin. Dumbledore is always bringing him into everything. Why can't he just choke on one of his bones?

"Now, Severus. That's not very nice. Remus is a very trustworthy member of the Order of the Phoenix, and has been very useful."

"I know, I know. If you don't mind, can I keep my thoughts private?"

"Very well. So you will take the girl, right?"

"Yes, yes. It's a deal."

"Splendid! I knew I could count on you, Severus! Now back to Lupin...how has your task going?"

"It's coming along. So far, I've been able to at least improve the Wolfsbane Potion so that the pain and side effects on the drinker's mind are less severe," he said grudgingly.

"Splendid! If you can find a cure for lycanthropy, Remus will be able to further his contact with the other werewolves faster. The more people we have supporting us, the better off we'll be." Snape grumbled. Frankly, he couldn't care less about Lupin and his pack of friends. For all he cared they could go jump off a cliff-

"Severus,"

"I know, I know. But that doesn't mean I have to like him. And do you have to keep reading my thoughts?!!"

"Sorry, Severus. It's second nature. Anyways, you'll probably want to meet the girl."

"That might help," Snape said rather sardonically. Dumbledore got up and entered through a shabby door on Snape's right. Snape got up and followed (Well, this shouldn't be too bad.).

When Snape walked through the door, he found himself in a small bedroom. The room was completely decorated with the colors green and black (At least the girl has good taste). He glanced at a poster beside him. A hissing rattlesnake was in the center of the poster, and snitches and bludgers were flying around it. The background were green and black stripes, switching order every few seconds. Flashing in red bold letters was: American Rattlesnakes: Best Quidditch Team in the League (Hmpf, hardly). Snape surveyed the room. Aside from the bold décor, the room was sparsely furnished. There was a simple six-shelf bookshelf and a bed, upon which the girl was sitting and reading a book.

Snape walked over to the bookshelf and read the titles of the books. The Ultimate Encyclopedia of Jynxes, Hexes, and Curses... Famous Law-Breaking Witches of America...Moste Potente Potions... Where Magic and Muggle Criminal Technology Meet...A Guide to Love and Infatuation Potions...(Hmpf, these all sound like books for a criminal). On top of the bookshelf was an empty owl cage. Snape glanced at the over at the girl. She was sitting on a twin bed, with a very interesting bedspread. It was green and black, and snitches zoomed all over it. The oversized pillow that she was leaning her back against was also green and black, and bludgers were zooming across it, with gold embroidery that read "Official Beater for the Salem Rattle Snakes House Quidditch Team". Snape's headache increased. Dumbledore's arm was wrapped around the girl and he winked at Snape.

The Headmaster cleared his throat and said, "Callie, I would like you to meet your new guardian, Professor Snape. Snape, this is Callie Trubble." Callie looked up from her book and grinned. Long, crazy curls spilled down the girl's shoulders and reached mid-back. Her hair was a striking color of red, with blonde, gold, and copper highlights mixed throughout (which were absolutely natural, of course). The girl was wearing a pair of Muggle overalls and a lime green t-shirt. Thin, milky-white hands closed around the book she had been reading, and huge vivid green eyes stared back at Snape, giving him a slight feeling of apprehensiveness. Still staring at him, she pulled something out of her ear, and shoved it in her pocket.

"Hello, Professor Snape," Callie said, grinning even wider.

"Hello," Snape nodded curtly.

"Well, now that the two of you have met, I guess you better be off, Severus. I understand you are a very busy man," Dumbledore said.

"Erm, yes. How fast can you pack, child?"

Callie's grin nearly reached her ears and said, "This fast." She waved her wand and everything in the room zoomed into a suitcase, leaving a bare bed.

"Wait a second. Underage witches aren't allowed to use magic-"

"Not in America. And until I become a citizen of the UK, I can do as much magic as I want during the summer." Snape groaned (This is going to be a long week).

"Come on, child. We need to go into the other room to use some Floo Powder."

"No need. I can Apparate."

"What?!!"

"In America, you can get your Apparition license when you're sixteen. I just got mine three months ago." Snape's scowl deepened even more.

"Very well. But you don't know where I live."

"That's all right. If you just hold my hand, I'll be able to Apparate with you." Snape didn't look very pleased at the thought of holding the girl's hand.

"Well, if that's the only way-"

"Yep. Let's get moving!" Snape begrudgingly took Callie's hand and they both Disapparated.

A few seconds later, Callie and Snape Apparated at Snape's house. "I assume you haven't eaten supper yet?" Snape asked.

"Nope!"

"Very well. Follow me into the kitchen." Callie skipped along after Snape, further adding to his annoyance. Snape walked around the kitchen, fixing another one of his concoctions.

"You call that food?" Callie asked, holding her nose.

"Yes. Do you have a problem?"

"Yes I do. I don't eat slop like that." Callie walked around, opening all the cabinets, and finally the pantry. "No wonder you look so sick. There's nothing good in here!"

"What do you mean I 'look sick'?"

"I mean you look like you haven't eaten in a month. And no wonder."

"Why you-"

"I'll see you later, Snape. I'm going shopping."

"What?!!"

"See ya!" And with that, Callie Disapparated. Snape was VERY MAD. He was about to throw something when he heard a mewing outside the door. He grabbed Artemis and shoved him inside. With a hiss, Artemis scurried past him. Snape sat down at the table, and decided he might as well wait.

Half an hour later, Callie Apparated back into the kitchen with two bags of groceries. She began putting the various foods into the pantry. "Now Snape, you just sit back and relax. I'll make dinner."

"First off, it's Professor Snape. Second, what do you know about-"

"I know plenty about cooking, Snape. My father made sure to that," she said, shifting her gaze.

"It's Professor!" Snape snarled.

"I don't see why I should have to call you 'professor'. You haven't even taught me anything yet-"

"It's a term of respect!"

"And I'm supposed to respect you because..."

"Because I am your guardian!"

"Fine. Professor Snape, I'm going to make supper, so just sit down. For goodness sakes! Don't have a cow." Fuming, Snape sat down and fixed her with one of his most loathing stares, the kind he usually reserved for people like Lupin, Sirius and Harry Potter. Callie simply grinned back and continued cooking. After a while, Callie placed a rectangular pan into the oven and sat down next to Snape. "It should be ready in about twenty minutes, Snape."

"Professor!"

"Whatever." Snape had never met such a headstrong, annoying girl in his life. How he was going to deal with this girl a whole week, he hadn't the slightest clue.

"So tell me, child, what school did you attend?"

"Salem. I lived in America, you know."

"Yes, yes. What was it like?"

"Oh, it was awesome. You got to choose two subjects."

"Really. What classes did you take?"

"Well, my two subjects that I took were Muggles Studies and Divination. I also took some weekend and nightly classes as well.

"You sure don't look like the scholarly type. What extra classes did you take?"

"Oh, I took a couple of mediwitch classes, an extra potions class and oh, my favorite, the Basic Fundamental Hexes course."

"Basic Fundamental Hexes Course?"

"Yup. At Salem, they think we should be prepared for Wizard Dueling. Happens a lot over in America."

"I see." This did not look like it was going to be easy for Snape.

"So, professor," Callie said in a mock tone of respect, "What subject do you teach?"

"Potions."

"Potions?" Callie looked astonished. "You sure don't look like a Potions teacher."

"And how do Potions teachers look, might I ask?" Snape asked sneeringly.

"Well, normally they're a bit more mysterious, and have better control over their tempers. Also they tend to brush their teeth every once in a while-"

"What was that?!! Did you just insult me?!!!"

"Well, I don't see anyone else in the room, unless your cat is a Potions teacher-"

"I will not be talked to in that manner!"

"In what manner? I was just stating cold, hard facts-"

"Why you insolent little-" All the sudden the timer buzzed, and Calidia got up to check the dish.

"It's ready!" Callie called over cheerfully.

"Hmpf. It had better be good."

"Oh, don't worry. It will be." She brought the steaming dish over to the table. Snape had to admit that it smelled and looked delicious. Callie went back and brought two plates and some silverware. Callie served it on the plate. Snape began eating and found he enjoyed it very much. "How is it?" Callie asked.

"It'll do," he said grudgingly. "What is this?"

"It's called 'Impossible Cheeseburger Pie'."

"Hmpf. What's so impossible about it?"

"Nothing. Just that an ornery old man like you can't have the decency to be grateful for something good to eat for a change."

"Why you-"

"I what? Can't you at least try to swallow first before talking? Then again, maybe you Brits simply don't know what manners are."

"How dare you! It's you who needs to learn some manners!"

"Oh really. Then how come I'm not the one spilling juice all over the table?" Snape looked to see that he had knocked over his glass in fury.

Gruffly, Snape asked, "Are you finished yet?"

"Why, yes. I am."

"Follow me. I'll show you to your room." Callie got up and once again, skipped along after Snape. Snape climbed up the stairs, passing his room and a couple of doors, until they came to the end of the hall. Snape opened the door, revealing a small bedroom. Callie walked in the room, suitcase in hand. Snape exited the room, leaving Callie by herself.

Stupid idiot, like he thinks he can control me. I'll do what I want, when I want. And no one, especially not Snape is going to tell me what to do, Callie thought as began surveying the room. There was a twin bed over in the far corner, a small closet, and a bathroom. The whitish yellow walls and the old, wooden floor gave the room a gloomy feeling. There was a large window in the corner slightly over the bed, with huge, dark green drapes pulled across it. The only source of light in the room was a set of floating candles in the corner across from the bed. Well, at least it's bigger than the last room I was in, Callie thought to herself.

First thing she did was to open the drapes. Well that didn't help much, she thought with a frown. Callie opened her suitcase and began to unpack. Out zoomed her bookshelf, which she placed next to the bed in the corner. She levitated her owl cage and put it on top of the bookshelf. She covered the bed with her Quidditch blankets and placed her pillow on top. She placed her American Rattlesnakes poster on the wall next to the bathroom door. Opening the closet, she zoomed all her clothes into the shelves and hangers inside. A long, rectangular box containing her Silver Arrow 5000 was put on the top shelf, over the hanging clothes. She also put up a poster of Orlando Bloom, her favorite Muggle actor, which she didn't have room to put up in the previous bedroom. She placed this poster to the left of the closet door. The finishing touch was a Muggle computer that she put under the floating candles in the corner. There, that looks much better, Callie thought with a slight nod of approval. She sat down on her bed, pulled out a favorite book from the bookshelf, and began to read.

After a while, Callie got bored and decided to peak around Snape's house. She opened the door next to her room. Locked, she thought with a frown. She tried a couple of charms, but as that wasn't her area of expertise, she finally gave up. She opened the next door. It revealed a vast library of books. Amazing, she thought as she stepped in. As she poked around, she discovered that most of the books were either on the Dark Arts or Potions. Well, he sure seems the type to be into the Dark Arts, she smirked. She left the room, careful to shut the door quietly.

The next door led to Snape's bedroom. Callie made sure he wasn't inside, and then walked in. The room was very dark, and all the colors were either black or a very dark, dark green. Finding nothing interesting, she walked into his bathroom. The shower curtain was open, revealing a shampoo bottle in the corner, and a bar of soap on the bottom of the tub. The shampoo bottle ignited a spark in her mischievous mind. Callie grabbed the shampoo bottle and extracted a small vial from the pocket of her overalls. The vial read, Hair Changing Potion: Dazzle Your Friends With Extreme Hair Colors. I wonder if Snape will like it when he comes out of the shower with bright orange hair... she thought with a gleam in her eye. With that, she slipped of the bathroom, and out of Snape's bedroom and tiptoed back to her room. She blew out the candles in the corner and climbed into her bed. Opening a bottle of Dreamless Sleep Potion, she tipped her head back and guzzled it down. This has been a satisfying day, she thought to herself just before she drifted off to sleep.

Meanwhile...

Snape was down in his lab again, working on that dratted cure for lycanthropy. At least the girl hasn't bothered me any since I sent her off to bed, Snape thought triumphantly. Finally giving up for the night, he picked the cat up and trudged up to his room. Stepping into the bathroom, he began to get ready for bed. Glancing over at the shower, he noticed the shampoo bottle was in the opposite corner than where he had put. Snape dismissed it from his mind and climbed into bed. I am so glad today is over, he thought. There's no way tomorrow can get any worse. Snape couldn't have been more wrong.