The Day Petunia Went Mad

12-year-old Petunia stared out the window of the Evans' two-story brick house. Any minute her sister Lily's crazy friends from Hogwarts would arrive. Her Muggle parents had been friends with the Potters even before Lily had started school, so naturally when Lily had come home from Thanksgiving break her parents asked her if she would like James to come eat Thanksgiving dinner with them. Lily had said yes, as long as three of her other friends from Hogwarts came as well. Naturally, her parents had said yes, so now Petunia would have to put up with five screaming 11-year-olds, including her sister and James.

It really wasn't fair. When Lily got her acceptance note for Hogwarts, it had been Lily this, Lily that, Lily's so perfect. She drove Petunia up the wall. And now her friends would be coming. Who knew what kind of idiotic people Lily had met when she was up at Hogwarts? Petunia sighed. Well, maybe one of them would turn her into a frog and she wouldn't have to listen to them all day.

In the next room Petunia could hear Mrs. Evans talking to Lily about her friends. "So, tell me what they're like," she said.

"Well," said Lily, "you already know what a pain James is. Sirius is almost as bad. Remus can get a little hairy at times, but he's really great, and Peter is pretty nice." Great, thought Petunia.

Ding-dong! "I'll get it!" cried Lily, rushing to the door and opening it. Petunia's heart sank to the floor. There stood Mr. and Mrs. Potter, her mom and dad's friends, and also three of the strangest looking boys she had ever seen, not counting James, whom she had already met.

Mr. and Mrs. Evans also came rushing to the door, smiling. The Potter's and the Evan's exchanged greetings, and then came introductions.

"Well, of course you already know James," said Mrs. Potter, smiling and putting her arm around James, who was very small and had extremely messy hair. "And this is Sirius Black," she continued, pointing to the tallest of the boys, the one with slightly long dark brown hair and brown eyes. He grinned mischievously and bowed.

"Pleasure to make your acquaintance," he said, reaching out and kissing Petunia's hand. "Blegh!" said Petunia.

"And this is Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew," said Mr. Potter, showing them the last two. Remus was the tiniest out of all of them, with sandy colored hair to rival James's in the way it stuck out all over the place. Petunia bet that he never brushed it. He also had large, smudged glasses that looked like he had never cleaned them a day in his life. All in all he gave the impression of a small wild animal.

Peter was the second tallest of the group, but he gave the impression of being shorter than he really was because he was so chunky. He also had buck teeth that stuck out like a rat's teeth. Lily noticed that his hand was in bandages.

"Oh Peter, what happened to your hand?" she asked, showing genuine concern. Peter put on his best pouty face and grimaced. "He bit me on the way here," he said, pointing over to Remus, who growled at him.

"Of course I did," said Remus. "He tried to eat my Chocolate Frogs."

Chocolate frogs? Thought Petunia. Okay. I am definitely not sticking around with this bunch of lunatics.

"Well, you all can't stand in the door that way, come in," said Mrs. Potter, smiling. They all tried to come in at once, and the four boys ended up scuffling on the floor.

"Mom," hissed Petunia in her mother's ear, "Your not actually going to let them in the house, are you? They'll blow the whole place up!"

Her mother stared at her. "Well, of course we're going to let them in," she said. "They're just boys, and it's Thanksgiving, after all."

"But- but they're crazy," argued Petunia. "Look at them." At this point, Sirius was sitting on James, who was grabbing Remus by the leg, who in turn was biting Peter.

"Now, now, boys," chuckled Mr. Potter. "It's not nice to wrestle at other people's houses."

"Okay," sighed all three boys at once, getting up. They all headed toward the dining room.

"The turkey will be ready in a moment," said Mrs. Evans from the kitchen. The Potters got up to ooh and ah over the wonders of Muggle cooking. Mr. Evans thanked them for not using floo powder to get to the house that time.

"So," said Petunia, sitting down at the table with the rest of the kids. She decided she would try being nice, and if it got too weird, she would head to her room. "How's school?"

Suddenly a huge rat scampered under the table, running right at Petunia. "Eeeeeek!" she screamed, throwing the water glass she was carrying into the air. "Honey, what's wrong?" cried her parents, running from the kitchen.

"There's a huge r-rat under the table," squealed Petunia. Meanwhile, the chubby boy Peter had disappeared under the table after the rat. He emerged, holding the rat in both hands and shaking it.

"Binky, bad boy," said Peter, shaking the rat harder. "Getting loose like that and scaring her. Bad, bad boy, Binky."

"You- you own that thing?" screeched Petunia, staring at him. "Yeah, me and Binky have been best pals since childhood," said Peter, setting the rat down on his shoulder. It scampered down his robe and disappeared into a pocket. "Blegh!" said Petunia again.

"No harm done," said her parents, walking back into the kitchen to continue the cooking. Petunia sat dumb-struck. How could her parents just leave her here with these- these children? She then looked over at James. He was playing some kind of Muggle Game Boy that Lily had given him for Christmas. He was playing it upside-down. "Hey! I think I'm winning!" he cried, jumping up in his chair.

She then looked over at Sirius. He had found Mr. Evan's mechanical pencil and was clicking it again and again, until the lead got really big and broke off. "Oooh, fun!" he cried.

"Remus," said Lily's worried voice, what's wrong?" The little tiny kid that was sitting next to Petunia was scratching hard on his arm.

"I dunno," he said, looking miserable.

"Do you have fleas again?" she asked sympathetically.

"Aw, I think so," said Remus.

Petunia's eyes widened as she scooted away from him.

"Turkey's ready!" called Mr. Evans. "And be sure to thank Mr. and Mrs. Potter for enlarging it for us!" Everyone stared as they brought out a turkey three times the size of a normal one. "Yay!" cried Sirius and James together. "Food!"

"But first we have to say Grace," said Mrs. Evans. "Grace!" yelled the kids at once, and dug in. Petunia watched as James and Sirius played with their food, Remus ate his like a savage animal, and Peter let his rat have his leftovers. She had suddenly lost her appetite. Somehow, the huge turkey and all the yams were finished off.

After dinner, the adults talked quietly in the living room while the 11-year-olds went into Lily's room. Petunia went to hers, slamming the door and jumping on her bed.

Why did her little sister have to be so weird? And why did her parents seem not to notice her weirdness? It must be because they were all weird and she was the only normal one in her family. Yeah, that had to be it.

She was so busy pondering this that she didn't notice how suspiciously quiet they had become in the next room. Petunia was one of those people who, when upset, went to bed, even if it was only 6:30 in the afternoon. She sighed as she got under the covers. Maybe if her parents thought she was asleep, they wouldn't wake her up to say goodbye to the freaks. She had only been planning on dozing, but she soon fell into a fitful sleep. She didn't hear her door slowly creak open.

Lily and the boys stood grinning over her bed. James nodded to Peter, and he slowly slipped Binky under her covers. Then they planted Filibuster's Fireworks all around her bed and then walked out, taking care not to slam her door.

Petunia turned over in her bed and felt something warm and alive under her. She screamed and jumped out, stepping on the fireworks which made a loud BANG sound and scorched her feet.

Her parents met her as she came running out of her room. "What's the matter, Petunia? What's wrong?"

Petunia was so mad she couldn't speak. She finally spluttered, face red, "A-ask them!" pointing a shaking finger at Lily and the boys, who were coming out into the hall, each wearing a guilty look. "Sorry, Petunia," said Lily. "We didn't know you'd get so upset."

"Y-yes you did!" screeched Petunia. "I hate you, Lily, you and all your stupid friends!" and with that she fled out of the house.

Petunia ran to her hammock in the garage, the only place she had ever found any peace. Back inside she could hear the Potters and the Evans yelling simultaneously at Lily and the boys. But Petunia knew that her parents would take Lily's side eventually.

Petunia crossed her arms over her shirt. She would get Lily back for this. She would make her pay.