Memory Madness

Memory Madness

Chapter 5:

    Sirius gaped as the figure left the shadows. He closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them again, but he was still there, not a figment of his imagination. That was - Harry? How on earth - He could only gape as the boy stood there looking blank and slightly confused.

    Mundungus, however, did not recognise The Boy Who Lived. His new glasses had been damaged at the beginning of the fight and rather than wear them when they were cracked he had hastily taken them off so he could repair them later.

    “You really saved us back there, lad,” he said jovially, shaking the dark-haired boy’s hand. “We really ought to get you a drink as thanks, don’t you think, Sirius - … Sirius? What on earth is the matter with you?” Mundungus shrugged slightly, he couldn’t see the expression on Sirius’ face and assumed he was just being quiet - he was quiet sometimes.

    “Oh! I just thought!“ the fair-haired young man exclaimed, slapping his forehead “Snape! At least one of us has to go back and make sure he didn’t get found out in his meeting. Tell you what, you take the lad for a drink and I’ll go back, okay Sirius?”

    Sirius was barely listening; he still had his eyes fixed on Harry. Harry seemed strangely oblivious. He was mostly watching Mundungus as he talked, but when his eyes did land on Sirius he didn’t catch any flicker of recognition on his face. Maybe it was too dim where he was standing.

    He nodded distractedly in answer to Mundungus’ suggestion and the other man rushed around the corner to Apparate away.

    Then there were just the two of them.

    “Harry…?” Sirius whispered, looking dazed. The boy’s head snapped up, looking at him with those rare green eyes. This was starting to be too much for Sirius. He dropped to his knees, in a growing puddle actually, and felt as though he could faint right then and there. How long had he spent working to forget his failure as a Godfather? How many hours had he spent in Remus’ company just staring at the fire lost in the thoughts of the past that haunted him?

    “Where were you? What - what happened? We all thought - we never thought we’d see you again, Harry!” he sounded desperate, looking at the boy’s shocked features.

    As far as the boy was concerned, he had just had a revelation. Harry. That was his name! He was sure of it. When Terry called him Larry, he’d felt like it was so close though not quite right. But that was what it was - Harry! But when he’d glanced up at the Sirius person, he had fallen to his knees and starting asking some very odd, confusing questions.

    “Wait - stop, stop,” the boy begged, taking a step closer to the defeated-looking man, and crouching down himself. “I - I don’t know what you’re talking about - I just - that name you called me…”

    “Harry,” Sirius said, voice catching. The boy’s face lit up slightly, though Sirius couldn’t help but notice he didn’t look well.

    “Yes! Harry - that’s my name. I’m sure of it.” The boy looked so triumphant, as though he’d discovered the next best thing since chocolate frogs or something.

    There was something missing here, Sirius had worked that much out. He was, however, so overwhelmed by the turn of events - he felt like he might have gone crazy.

    “What - I mean, of course it’s your name -“ and Sirius could tell he must look rather baffled.

    But the boy was smiling now and had decided to explain as best he could. He had opened his mouth to speak, but Sirius suddenly stood and pulled him up with him. The boy was startled and almost tripped. He wasn’t sure what was going on. But he soon understood. Sirius pulled him aside into the shelter of a shop doorway. Then Sirius half frowned and took his cloak off, wrapping it around the boy instead.

    “Oh - no - you’ll need-“ he started to protest. But Sirius shook his head, inwardly wondering whether he ought to laugh, cry or do both at the same time. But he wasn’t about to do either of course. This wasn’t the right time, he thought gruffly as he tried to keep himself calm and collected.

    “Well, what were you going to say?” Sirius asked, nervously.

    “Oh! Yes, well - when you said that name - I was sure it was mine. I don’t know how I’m sure of it exactly, but I know it is.”

    “So…you didn’t know what your name was?” Sirius asked, frowning. He had that uneasy feeling back again. He was sure he was about to hear something he didn’t want to.

    “No,” the boy shook his head, looking downcast. “I woke up about-“ he paused, trying to work it out “- almost three weeks ago, perhaps less, without my memory.” He bit his lip.

    Sirius was gob-smacked! He gaped again. “You mean - you - woke up months later - a coma? - but - you don’t remember anything? Nothing at all?” he gasped, his eyes widening.

    The boy nodded, a far off look in his eyes. He was thinking of all the questions he had for Sirius. Obviously he must have known him. He was about to ask them, but Sirius suddenly smacked his forehead, with a grimace.

    He had been so stupid. There were Death Eaters in the area. He had to get Harry out of here! To Hogwarts - yes, he had to get to Hogwarts immediately.

    “We have to go,” Sirius said abruptly. The dark-haired boy frowned and opened his mouth to question this statement. “There are more of those -“ he paused, about to say Death Eaters, but remembering he wouldn’t understand that “- bad cloaked people about.” The boy raised his eyebrows, not really sure what to make of all that was happening anymore.

    Now Sirius had pulled out what looked like an old pair of glasses. Round black frames, and they looked familiar. Where had he seen them the before? the boy frantically thought.

    “This is a Portkey I had made,” Sirius hurriedly explained, looking around anxiously when he thought he heard voices. “We’ll go straight to Hogwarts and see Dumbledore.” The last sentence was more him talking to himself, and the boy didn’t understand anyway.

    He did as Sirius told him, and touched the pair of glasses. And with a tap of Sirius’ stick, the world around them seemed to blur and a few moment’s later there was ground beneath their feet and the boy fell over. He fell painfully too. He found it easy to get hurt - perhaps that was because he tried to rush his recovery.

    Sirius helped him up, and the boy tried not to wince when he aggravated the aches and pains in his legs and arms. Then he felt distinctly disorientated for a moment. He was in a completely different place. Amazing. Then looking up the boy almost gasped. Castle, lake, forest, hut, Hogwarts!

    His dreams - this was the place from his dreams. It - it was real. He wanted to believe the people and the scenes were real. He had wanted to believe it so much! And - it was. He was so busy staring at the beautiful castle and grounds, he didn’t notice the guilty look pass across Sirius’ face as he realised that his Godson had to see Hogwarts for the first time again.

    There weren’t words for all the emotions Sirius was going through. And he couldn’t imagine how it was for Harry himself. He didn’t know anything, nothing about the Wizarding world and nothing about himself, or about his - life! He wouldn’t know about Voldemort, wouldn’t know about all the unfortunate adventures he’d had at the school. He wouldn’t know his parent’s were dead. He was happily oblivious to everything that would usually haunt him. On the other hand he wouldn’t remember Ron or Hermione, or Quidditch, or magic and how wonderful it could be. He shook his head, clearing the mixed up thoughts. He had to focus.

    Sirius knew the school had broken up for the Christmas holidays, but there were still a number of students staying in the castle along with most of the teachers, of course. It wouldn’t be a good idea for him just to walk in with the Harry Potter. And if he was noticed, and all the fuss ensued, Harry wouldn’t understand it.

    So Sirius had to work something else out. He needed to see Dumbledore - and Remus if possible. But he couldn’t bring Harry with him right away. He saw Hagrid’s hut out of the corner of his eye and the glow from within suggested that he was awake.

    “Harry,” Sirius quietly got the boy’s attention. “I can’t take you right in to the castle with me - it’s hard to explain - but in that hut lives someone who was a friend of yours. His name is Hagrid. He’s half-giant, but he’s perfectly harmless. You were good friends, and I’m sure he would be happy to look after you for a short time while I go up to the castle.”

    The boy was wary but he nodded. He trusted Sirius. He had only just met him, true, but he felt like he’d known him longer and could trust him immediately. He just wished he could ask some of the million questions that flew through his mind. He wanted to know if the people he had dreamt of were real. Was Ron real? And Hermione? He knew he had been very fond of them in his dreams. And was the strict teacher with her hair in a bun real?

    They headed towards the cosy-looking hut and then Sirius told the curious fifteen year-old to wait around the side of the hut while he talked to Hagrid for a moment.

    Sirius’ knock on the door was obviously answered as the boy could see light shed across Sirius and the grass. Peering cautiously around the corner, the boy gaped at the tallest and widest man ever!

    But upon close inspection it was easy to see the friendly beetle-black eyes that twinkled as he greeted his guest.

    “Ah, Sirius! How are yeh? Haven’ seen you round here for a while. Been busy with your Auror work?”

    “Um, yes, well-“ Sirius fiddled with his sleeve. Hagrid bent down and looked concerned at him.

    “Something wrong?” he asked, worried.

    “Well, I ran in to someone today…” Sirius trailed off looking unsure how to explain. Hagrid looked at him questioningly, while trying to keep a large excitable dog back.

    “What’s got in to you, eh, Fang?” Hagrid chided quietly as Sirius still struggled for words.

    “I brought the person back here, it was a very unexpected meeting - he lost his memory…and I think he ought to see Dumbledore as soon as possible. But I can’t just take him in to the castle with me. I was wondering if you’d mind looking after him for a bit?” Sirius looked irritated at himself for his inarticulateness but also hopeful as he waited for Hagrid’s reply.

    “O’ course he can stay here!” Hagrid said. “Lost his memory, eh? Ah dear, sounds an awful shame. Well, who is he?”

    “He’s Harry,” Sirius said softly, looking at his hands.

    “Eh? Who?” Hagrid asked, not having heard. Sirius looked over at the boy and nodded his head over. And so the Boy Who Lived came around to the front of the hut and stood next to Sirius as the colour left Hagrid’s face.

    “H-Harry!” he gasped, and let Fang’s collar go in shock. The dog jumped forward at the person it had been trying to see and knocked the boy right over before starting to lick his face.

    The boy started giggling and petting the dog’s head. “Oh, nice doggy, aren’t you? Ugh, stop licking me,” and he broke in to giggles again.

    While he was still occupied with Fang, Sirius noted that Hagrid was still staring wide-eyed. He knew exactly what he felt like, having just gone through it all himself. Eventually, Hagrid had tears in his eyes and gave Sirius a small smile.

    “H-he’s back,” he sniffed. “I knew he couldn’t be gone - didn’ make sense.” He pulled out a big spotted hanky and blew his nose loudly.

    “Yes, I know it’s all very overwhelming, Hagrid,” Sirius started earnestly, “but he doesn’t remember - I don’t think he remembers anything. So you have to keep your wits about you. You can’t get upset. Harry just wouldn’t understand. Can you do that?”

    Hagrid, put the hanky away, and rubbed his eyes before nodding solemnly. And looked back over at the boy, who had managed to crawl his way out from under the large dog and was now petting his head, calling it a funny doggy.

    Coming back to where Sirius stood, the boy named Harry grinned sheepishly as the dog whined, looking up at him.

    Hagrid chuckled. “I think Fang remembers yeh,” Hagrid stated, pulled the dog inside. “Don’t you worry ‘bout Harry, Sirius, he can come in me hut and have a cup o’ tea. Sound good, Harry?”

    Harry was not used to being called by his name, but he smiled and nodded, waving Sirius goodbye. With a nod, Sirius turned and made his way up towards the castle quickly.

    Harry was soon seated in a huge chair by the fire. He was warming through quite nicely and drying off gradually.

    Hagrid was standing by the sink and was making some tea, but had his back to Harry so the boy wouldn’t see him crying and wiping his eyes on his hanky. It was so nice to have him back! The idea of him not remembering anything hadn’t really sunk in yet.

    “Here yeh are,” he said a few moments later and handed Harry a cup of tea along with a little plate of rock cakes.

    “Oh, thank you - um - Hagrid,” Harry said, stuttering ever so slightly as he said the man’s name for the first time he could remember. The giant was very familiar though. Almost as annoyingly familiar as that pair of glasses which, amazingly enough, brought them to another place in the world just like magic.

    He suddenly realised that he was rather hungry. He’d often felt hungry in the hospital, but he had brought back up some of what he ate there at first, and after that, he’d almost rather go hungry than eat the hospital food. Eyeing the rock cakes carefully, he heard Hagrid chuckle before pushing them closer to him across the small table.

    “I reckon yeh used teh like them,” Hagrid said smiling. “Make ‘um myself.”

    With a slight smile, Harry picked up one of the cakes, took a bite - and nearly broke his teeth! He could not imagine anyone being able to eat those cakes. Luckily Hagrid took the widening of his eyes as a compliment.

    “Heh, good aren’t they? They seem to surprise lots of people who eat them. I reckon they don’ expect me to be a good cook!”

    Harry nodded, trying very hard not to grimace. He must have been good friends with the friendly giant to account for pretending to like such unbelievable cakes. Carefully putting the cake aside he took a few sips of the tea.

    “Yeh, um, look a bit different, Harry,” Hagrid said carefully, squinting at him over his big bowl-sized cup. Harry looked up curiously. “Oh, I think I know what it is. Some of it, anyway. Yeh glasses are gone!”

    Glasses. That was where he recognised those frames from! They were his glasses. He’d worn them in his dreams. He was sure his constant squinting wouldn’t be helping him either.

    “Hmm, yes,” he turned the cup in his hands nervously.

    "I see you still 'av your scar," Hagrid went on, "Tho' i don't suppose it would ever go away. Doesn't matter how many times you defeat You-Know-Who, I reckoned it would always be there."

    Harry frowned, confused. "My scar?...You-Know-Who?" he asked.

    "Oh!" Hagrid looked annoyed with himself. "I shouldn't 'ave said tha'."

    But Harry was curious now. "What about my scar? And what is You-Know-Who?" he asked, leaning forward in his chair. To his surprise, Hagrid started to look very upset.

    It was the saddest thing for Hagrid to hear. The reality that Harry didn't know anything really hit him when Harry asked those two questions. Those two questions were important parts of Harry's very identity. His scar, from all the years ago when his parents died and he became the Boy Who Lived, and You-Know-Who, the reason the above had happened and for the ongoing battle the boy had fought during his Hogwarts years.

    When Hagrid started to cry, Harry had a moment of indecision. He wasn't sure what he was meant to do to help. Hesitantly, he walked over and sat on the arm of Hagrid's chair, then started to pat the giant's arm awkwardly. The giant all but wailed and pulled Harry in to a bone crushing hug.

    Harry just sat stiffly while Hagrid cried on his tracksuit top. He dazedly wondered what on earth would happen next! He'd already left a street and reappeared at a castle, and that had happened after the sparkling sticks. Then there was Sirius and Hagrid, two people that had known him, and now he was being cried on by a giant. Hmm, very strange day. And he had meant to get some answers to his questions; both the ones comparing to his dreams and also the two Hagrid had inadvertently given him to ask.

    Looking back down at the sniffling mass of black hair, Harry decided to keep his curiousity at bay...for now.

    *~*~*

    Sirius reached the castle in record time. He paused in the Entrance Hall, noting that there was no one in sight for the moment, and then rushed off in the direction of Dumbledore's office.

    When he came to a halt at the Gargoyle statue, he tried to think of a password. He knew Dumbledore had a very strange taste in his passwords, often using sweets. After trying about eight well-known confectionary items, he was getting annoyed - this was important for goodness sake!

    "Just open up will you!?" he yelled at it. "This is important you Granite Git!" No movement, but the gargoyle did look offended and stuck its tongue out briefly. "I've been away! The password must have changed a billion times since I last came up here. It could be 'You-Know-Who's Knickers' for all I know!" Sirius scowled, then looked surprised when the gargoyle moved aside. You-Know-Who's Knickers? Sirius raised an incredulous eyebrow.

    Just then Dumbledore himself appeared at the top of the stairs beyond the gargoyle entrance. "How on earth did you come up with that password, Professor?" Sirius asked, momentarily distracted. Dumbledore smiled.

    "I didn't, but when I heard you calling the gargoyle a Granite Git I decided I should let you in," he replied, motioning for the abashed ex-convict to come inside.

    When Sirius entered the office, he saw that Dumbledore must have been in a late meeting, because Remus was there, along with Minerva and - Snape.

    "Sirius!" his friend exclaimed in surprise.

    "Of course it was, no one else would start insulting the gargoyle for his own ignorance," Snape remarked, dryly. Sirius sent him a glare. Minerva and Remus did also, though far from being chastised, Snape just rolled his eyes at them all.

    "I thought we were meant to be discussing the matter of Young Mr Malfoy, Headmaster," he directed to Dumbledore, who had just sat behind his desk.

    "We were indeed, Severus," Dumbledore nodded, "but Sirius said something was important?" he looked questioningly at Sirius and Sirius had the strange feeling that the Headmaster already knew what he was about to say, or most of it anyway.

    "But we need to find a suitable place for Draco to stay in the castle, Headmaster. Now that he has turned against his father the Slytherins will not hesitate to cause him trouble if he remains in his dormitory. We need to find a spare room or something," Snape said hastily.

    "And we shall," Dumbledore promised. "I know of just the right place, so don't fret, Severus." Snape nodded slightly, and glared at Sirius, no doubt for having interupted a conversation to do with one of his precious Slytherins.

    "So what's happened, Sirius?" Remus asked, a worried look crossing his face. Sirius turned to address them all.

    "I ran into someone unexpectedly - not far from Diagon Alley when Snape would have still been in his meeting - how did that go, by the way?" Sirius asked.

    "It went fine, Severus has gained the trust he needs to be in the highest circle of the Death Eaters. He told us all the details before we turned to the matter of young Malfoy." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled.

    Sirius nodded distractedly, and hurriedly continued his story, feeling as unsure of telling it now as when he'd tried to explain to Hagrid. "This person I ran into gave me quite a shock, really. Um. I brought him here straight away, I think you ought to see him," he directed this to Dumbledore, who looked rather serious as he listened to Sirius' story unfold. "He lost his memory, I doubt he remembers anything - not even being a Wizard... and I didn't think it a good idea to bring him straight up here, so he's at Hagrid's right now." Sirius trailed off, staring at the far wall unseeingly.

    "So..." Dumbledore sighed. "Harry Potter has come back."

    Minerva, Snape and Remus all gasped or, in Minerva's case, cried out, in shock. Then all three turned to see Sirius nod his head slowly.

    Minerva McGonagall, for the first time in years, sat as though frozen with not a word to say. Remus' face had paled considerably and he was staring wide-eyed at Sirius, who was looking down at his feet. And Snape's expression would have been funny if not for the situation. His jaw was dropped and his usual sneer had also been dropped. He looked to Dumbledore, who had his head bowed and seemed to be contemplating his desk.

    The shocked silence lasted for what must have been about a minute, but could well have been an enternity for all the emotions each occupant of the room felt in that space of time.

    "Potter?" Snape eventually spluttered incredulously.

    Dumbledore nodded wearily, looking suddenly old. Sirius was wringing his hands, looking out of the window where he could just see Hagrid's hut.

    "Oh! Albus - but - how - oh my goodness - where - oh goodness -" Minerva McGonagall tried to say a sentance unsuccessfully. All in the room could see her complete shock at the turn of events.

    "He - he didn't know who I was," Sirius spoke quietly. Remus Lupin winced a little.

    "Why didn't he come back to us before if he wasn't dead?" Snape wondered aloud with a frown on his face. Sirius turned away from the window and rubbed a hand over his face tiredly.

    "From what he hastily told me," he began, "I think he was in a coma...until a couple of weeks ago."

    For the second time in five minutes a collective gasp filled the room. Minerva brought out a handkerchief, and dabbed at her eyes. Remus patted her hand understandingly while he stared no where in particular.

    "Will you come and see him?" Sirius asked Dumbledore abruptly, looking back at the window as if itching to get back to his godson as soon as possible.

    Dumbledore nodded slowly and stood, straightening his robes.

    "Perhaps the three of you would be so kind as to make sure there is no one we can run in to when we bring Harry back up to the castle and in to this office?" Dumbledore asked distractedly.

    Minerva, Remus and even Snape all nodded curtly and left after the Headmaster and the ex-convict.

*~*~*

    Harry was starting to wish Hagrid would stop crying. And he had been patient. It must have been about half an hour at least. He had tried to shift out of Hagrid's grip when it had become rather painful for his sides, but that had not worked because Hagrid only cried louder and hugged tighter.

    Harry wished he at least understood why the giant was bawling so much; at least then he could say something reassuring and perhaps halt the tears. He was also unsure whether or not could still feel his legs.

    "Umm, Hagrid? I'm going numb," he said hesitantly. Hagrid let go, still sniffing.

    "Sorry, 'Arry," he said through his hanky. "Didn't mean to do that - Sirius'd not be too pleased with me." Harry just rubbed his sides gingerly and looked at the friendly giant worriedly. He wanted to understand! He didn't know what was so sad. It would all make a lot more sense if someone would just explain!

    As if on cue, there was a knock on the door and Hagrid hurriedly wiped his eyes again before clearing his throat and opening the door. The minute Harry felt the presence of the new guest, he straightened up, standing by the fire. Something about this person was - strangely powerful. He couldn't explain what it made him feel or think of, but he felt inclined to be respectful.

    He noticed Sirius come in and stand next to him, looking slightly puzzled when he noted the wet stains on the front of his sweatshirt. He must have assumed it was rain from before because he didn't mention it.

    Then Harry saw the new guest. He was an old man, wearing rather odd clothes. Then again, Sirius wore the same general clothes and Hagrid wore things Harry wasn't even sure could be labelled as clothes. The man's white beard was tucked in to his belt and when he set his eyes on Harry they seemed to sparkle.

    "Harry," the man said smiling. He placed one hand on each of the boy's thin shoulders and took a good look at him. This close up, Harry could see him clearly. And he cast the old man a curious glance. He seemed to be looking him over so very intently, as though he could see his every thought and memory - however few they were! - and was trying to take it all in. "It's good to have you back, Harry."

    Harry nodded dazedly, not sure what to say to that. The old man seemed to see his confusion and disorientation at the whole situation and smiled reassuringly at him. "You must be confused. I am Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft of and Wizardry."

    Harry's first, rather irrational thought was to commet, "Oh, really? That's nice," and leave it at that. But after blinking twice and letting the sentence sink in, he didn't think he ought to. Witchcraft and Wizardry. Witches, wizards, magic and castles. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, really not knowing what to say.

    "Which makes you a wizard, Harry," a voice snapped him back to the present. It was Sirius. He was staring at his hands.

    "That's right. You went to school here and got yourself into plenty of trouble," Dumbledore said with an amused look. Harry smiled uncertainly. If he was the Headmaster he didn't quite see how he would be glad if Harry had caused any trouble. But all that he was being told was just - mind blowing. A wizard. Wow. "And if I am correct," Dumbledore continued, "Sirius here may have not introduced himself properly before. He is Sirius Black, and he is your Godfather."

    Sirius stood and smiled weakly. Harry, of course, had known his first name since Mundungus had mentioned it, but he didn't know his last name or that he was his godfather!

    "Are you going to say anything at all tonight?" Dumbledore asked gently, with a slight chuckle. Harry blushed a little.

    "Um - It's nice to meet you, Headmaster?" he said, still overwhelmed with everything. Dumbledore chuckled again and glanced at Sirius briefly. "And it's nice to meet you too, Mr Black, and - well - thank you for bringing me here." Harry added, turning to his godfather, and shaking his hand nervously. Dumbledore looked highly amused and Hagrid sniffed again across the room.

    Sirius had raised his eyebrows when Harry shook his hand and looked a bit put off at being called 'Mr Black'. Noticing the way Harry had squinted to look across the room to Hagrid quickly, Sirius pulled out his personal Portkey and tapped it twice muttering a countercharm before handing them to Harry with a slight smile.

    "My glasses," Harry murmured. Sirius started slightly and nodded.

    "Y-you remember?" he asked hopefully. Harry shrugged a little.

    "They're - familiar." Was all he said about it. He didn't actually want to tell anyone about his dreams, not unless he knew they were real. If they were, then he'd want them explained, but since he still wasn't sure he decided to leave it for now.

    Sirius looked disappointed. Dumbledore broke the short silence that followed.

    "Perhaps we should get up to the castle, there is much more I must explain, Harry," he said, gesturing to the door.

    "Oh, all right," Harry nodded, wearing his glasses once more and looking every bit like the Harry Potter all the room remembered. "Goodbye, Hagrid, I'll come and see you soon," he said, earning a bear hug from Hagrid in reply.

    He was just heading for the door when he noticed a pale face at the window on his right. The eyes widened in the face when Harry turned. Harry's mind screamed the person's name in acute recognition.

    "Malfoy!" his voice repeated his thoughts in his surprise.