You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This

"Seventh years' ball? What the hell? When did they start that?" said an outraged Remus Lupin to a very calm James Potter.

"Last month, Moony? Honestly, I don't see what the problem is. Any of us could get a date, easy. Well, maybe not Wormtail..." said James in a tone of wry thought.

Peter Pettigrew stared, bemused, at James. "I could! I could get a date!"

"Yeah?" said James, smirking and raising his eyebrows. "Who'd go with you? Unless, and no offense to you, Remus couldn't, and he can."

Remus was used to the three's odd behavior.

"I couldn't," he said truthfully, shaking his head.

Sirius, who had kept quiet until now, snorted. The other three turned to look at him.

"Something you'd like to share with the rest of the class, Mr. Black?" said James, sounding very much like Professor McGonagall, their Transfiguration teacher.

"Moony could get a date. How hard could it be? Slytherin's chock full of--sorry, Remus. I was only joking," Sirius finished solemnly when Remus offered him a look that could kill. "Only joking. I've got nothing against...that."

Remus was sure Sirius did, though Sirius had never said anything. The four of them--James, Remus, Sirius, and Peter--had been a tight-knit group since first year. Nothing, not even the different paths puberty had sent them down, had come between them in the past seven years. Especially now, when they would graduate, and friendship would be the most important thing the foursome had. Except, perhaps, James. The whole school knew the most important thing James had was Lily Evans, his girlfriend.

Remus, deciding to let Sirius off, as always, said, "Who're you going with, Padfoot?"

Sirius shot him an odd look. James laughed, and Peter looked confused.

"What? Why is that funny? Prongs! Stop laughing!" he said, a frustrated frown line creasing his forehead.

"Wait, wait, back up...The Great Sirius Black doesn't have a date? Oh, Gawd! That's got to be...well, funnier than throwing Snivellus in the lake!" James's laugh was not very persuasive, and neither was the hand clutching his stomach.

Sirius did not blush--as Remus, himself would have--he merely turned his head. Remus frowned. He hated James teasing Sirius: Remus and Sirius had always been a bit closer than the rest of the Marauders.

"James..." he said quietly.

James immediately stopped laughing. "Something the matter, Moony? Ohh...does someone have a crush?" He smirked again. "No joke, you and Sirius would look good together. I'm not kidding!" he added as Remus raised his eyebrows at him.

"Prongs?" said Remus flatly.

"Yes, Spoony? Erm...Moony?" said James slyly.

"Do us all a favor..."

James's smirk only widened.

"...and shut up."

Sirius nodded, his arms folded, staring off at the opposite wall.

"Siri got a crush too?" cooed James mockingly, in the voice you speak to an infant with.

Sirius grumbled something incomprehensible, but James seemed to take his grunting as a 'yes'.

"I thought so," he said wisely. "I just knew you and Remus--"

"Shut up," said Sirius at last.

James obeyed. James would not shut up for anyone except Sirius. Sometimes, if he was found in an exceptionally good mood (Lily Evans had banged him, Severus Snape was sent to the hospital wing covered in boils, Slytherin House was down three-hundred points from Gryffindor, the likes), he would stop talking for Peter or Remus.

"Okay, I'll shut up..." he started. The rest stared at him, waiting for what miraculous event would make James Potter be quiet. "...If you and Remus agree to go to the dance together."

General protest.

"James!"

"Oh, come on!"

"You're being childish!"

"Are you THICK?"

"No way!"

"Exactly!"

James held up a hand, and Remus and Sirius stopped talking, both looking upset.

"If you'd let me finish..." said James, his eyebrows raised once again. "...I was going to say: you two go together...if you can't get dates before the dance, and I solemnly swear--I swear upon sex with Lily--that I'll shut up for the rest of the year. No teasing you or Remus."

"Deal."

"Done."

Anything to shut James up would do just fine. Besides, it's not like it would mean anything to either of them, was it?