Harry Potter and the Adventure He Affectionately Calls Life

Hermione was in the library when she saw Fred and George embracing their brother.
"Honestly, you two," she said, coming out. "Don't you ever graduate?"
In the boy's dormitory, Harry greeted the twins.
"What are they doing here?" he whispered to Ron after Hermione had gone back inside.
"They're helping me with Hermione's sixteenth birthday present and a little prank."
"Ron. I hate to break it to you. With them," he nodded his head in the twins' direction. "There's no such thing as a little prank."
"Well, we've run by it, and it's not potentially dangerous at all.
"Well, that's a relief," Harry grumbled. Then his eyes brightened. "What's the prank?"
Ron filled Harry in on the details while Fred and George got the necessary ingredients ready.
"InstaChange? Where the hell was that when we had to turn into Crabbe and Goyle? Hermione wouldn't have turned into Cat Woman!"
"You can't rush genius," George said.
Harry rolled his eyes in response.
"So," Fred said. "Ready, Ronnie?"
"Don't call me that. And yes."
What flavor InstaChange did you bring?"
"Bubble gum and tutti frutti."
"I want Bubble gum."
"I was going to drink that."
"You had bubble gum last time we played a prank."
"So?"
"So it's my turn now."
"Nah..."
"Yeah! George, it's my turn."
"Too bad. I'm older."
"By three fucking minutes!"
"I'm still older."
Fred picked up Harry's pillow from his bed and chucked it at his George. "Fine, then. Take your damned bubble gum. And take your ugly face out of here."
At this, George, Harry, and Ron laughed. "Fred," Ron said, still shaking his head in amazement. "You and George are identical twins. Hence, you look exactly alike."
"George, come here," Fred demanded.
George came.
"Sit."
He sat.
Fred looked at his twin as if he was seeing him for the first time. Harry and Ron looked at each other curiously, shrugging.
"You know, George," Fred said quietly. "I never realized how incredibly handsome you are. You are a sexy beast! You're a work of art!"
"I know," George said casually, as if he was used to being treated like some international pop star all the time.
Ron threw his hands in the air. "I knew it had to be something stupid. I knew it."
"Can it, twit," Fred and George said in unison.
"Can we get on with it, please?"
"Oh, yes." Fred stood up. "C'mon, sexy," he called to George. "So we need some of your hairs and then we're going to chill the InstaChange. Tomorrow morning we'll do it."
"Cool." Ron's blue eyes glittered. " pulled out a tiny blue velvet box and opened it.
"Wow," Ron breathed. He said it quietly, as if saying something loud would break it.
"Ron," Harry gushed. "That's very pretty." Then, after a moment of thought, he said, "you shouldn't have."
Ron ignored this last comment, staring in awe at the ring. The blue sapphire glittered by the light of the room. It was embedded in a silver band, engraved with delicate ivy. He turned it over. On the underside of the sapphire, covered by the band, I Love You, Hermione was engraved.
"We... uh... we were going to engrave Herm-erm onto it instead, but then we decided not to."
"Good choice," Ron said, not taking his eyes off the ring.
"It changes, too. Like a mood ring, only for real. Not those cheap ones you see for two knuts each."
"' It changes?'" Ron echoed.
"When she's happy or content, the stone is blue. I trust it'll usually be blue. When she's angry, the sapphire will turn into amethyst. When she's scared, it'll turn ruby. Of course, shades matter."
"Shades?" Ron echoed.
"Yeah. Like, if it's pink, she's a little scared. You'll see that when she gets her homework assignments back."
"That's mean."
"It's true."
"I never said it wasn't. But I never said it either."
"Whatever. What do you think of it?"
"Thank you so much," Ron said. "How much do I have to pay you back?"
"Five sickles."
Harry stared at Fred while Ron went to get the money. A ring like that definitely cost way over five sickles.
Fred winked, and Harry smiled.
"Okay, enough of this emotional stuff. Ron, we want your hairs," George said, growing antring back in the box, and it went into the deepest pockets of his robes, the pocket usually saved for chocolate frogs.
George mixed it into the InstaChange. It looked a lot more appetizing now than it did four years ago, or so Ron thought. It was clear which one was the bubble gum and which was the fruit one. One was bright pink, the other, a swirl of tropical reds, oranges, and yellows. "Do you have somewhere I can chill it? We couldn't bring our refrigerator with us."
"Chill it?" Ron echoed.
"We could probably use a spell or something, I guess," George reasoned.
"Frigidus!" Fred said, pointing his wand at the two cans of InstaChange.
Ron and Harry watched, fascinated, as a giant ice cube formed around the two cans.
"Frigidus?"
"There are some spells Hogwarts won't teach you."
"Won't it freeze?" Harry wanted to know.
"Nope. It'll just be cold. It's a smart spell."
"What's a smart spell?"
"It knows." George shrugged. "It knows what temperature we need the InstaChange to be at, so when we drink it tomorrow, it'll be ready. It just knows." He shrugged again. "Anyway, it's been a long day. I'm going to go on off to sleep. Common room, right?"
"Yeah, sorry."
"Don't worry. Those couches were always comfortable." Fred grinned.
"Better than that time we slept on the floor..."

_____________________________________________________________

"Good morning, Hermione," Ron (the real Ron) said, holding her close and punctuating each word with a tiny kiss. "Happy Birthday." Another kiss.
"Mmm... thank you," she smiled up at him.
"I love you."
"I love you, too, Ron," she said, brushing his hair away from his face delicately.
"Your present is upstairs," Ron said, his heart starting to beat a little faster. Are Fred and George ready? "C'mon." He tugged her arm.
Hermione laughed. "It's my birthday. I don't have to do anything. You go get it."
Ron sighed dramatically. He bent down and picked Hermione up.
Hermione shrieked. "Put me down," she said, laughing and kicking the air. "Ron! I'm serious. Put me down."
Ron kissed her quiet and carried her up the stairs to the boys dormitory like a new bride. He laid her on the bed and ran his fingers up and down her arms.
Hermione looked down shyly.
"I'll just be back," Ron said, standing up and heading out to where he knew Fred and George were.
"It's about time," Fred grumbled.
"You look sexy," Ron said.
"I look like you."
"Exactly." He wiggled his eyebrows. "Where's George?"
Fred shrugged. "I'm ready for my debut," he said dramatically. "Hermione, Hermione, whilst thou makest love to me, Hermione."
Ron blushed furiously.
"You're so cute when you blush," Fred said, pinching his cheeks and ruffling his hair. "I must go."
"Wait. I wanted to give her the ring."
"You will. Just wait. When George walks in on me, then you come in the rinne, Herm-erm," Fred, as Ron, yelled.
"Don't call me that!" Hermione snapped.
"Watch this," Fred whispered to Ron, stepping out from his hiding spot.

______________________________________________________________

"I'm sorry, Hermione," Ron said, looking genuinely apologetic. He took her hand into his and kissed her knuckles. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay," she said, smiling. Then, in a tone she could only use with Ron, she said, "Where's my present?"
"All in good time, my dear," Ron said, leaning her back against his bed to kiss her. "All in good time." He kissed her deeply, with all the familiarity that was Ron, and slightly different.
"Today," he whispered in the shell of her ear, making her shiver. "I'm not going to let you go."
"It's a good thing we have no classes today, then," Hermione responded, drinking in his kisses hungrily.
"Very good, indeed," Ron said, kissing her furiously.
This is perfect, Hermione thought, sighing contentedly. This is completely perfect.

____________________________________

The real Ron, who was watching the scene with George, paced back and forth nervously.
"Hey, bro," George said, massaging Ron below his neck. "Calm down."
"No, George. We can't do this. I saw her sigh. It's her 'I love my life' sigh. I can't do this to her." Ron slumped against the stone walls.
"So what do you want me to do? I can't exactly waltz on out and tell Fred to stop."
"I know," Ron said miserably. "I know."
"And he's probably waiting for me to come."
Ron grunted.
George sat down next to his little brother. "You really do love her, don't you?"
Ron nodded. "And I know she loves me, too. But she'd be furious if she knew, and I could never handle that. I mean, it's the kind of thing Lana would laugh at if Harry did it, but..." Ron stood up suddenly.
"What?" George asked, standing up as well.
"Harry!" He hugged George, who stared at him like he had three heads. "I'll sneak out and explain the situation to Harry, then he can go in and talk to 'Ron,' then I go back in and it's all good."
George sniffed. "By George, I think you've had your first good idea." He beamed. "I've always loved that saying. 'By George.' You don't hear 'By Fred' at all, do you? No... of course not. So... where's Harry, anyway?"
"Common room, just in case Hermione needed to cry."
"You thought our plan would fail?"
"Lana did. In fact, she was counting on it."
"Funny... I always thought it. I'll run and get Harry." Then, after a moment's hesitation: "No. Come with me."

"Where were we?" Ron asked, sneaking up behind her.
"Somewhere between here..." she kissed him, snaking her arms around his back and pulling her to him. "And here," she said when they broke apart.
"Oh. Right. Well, you have two options," Ron told her. "I could give you your present now..." He kissed her quickly. "Or I could give it to you later."
"What happened to 'all in good time'?" Hermione teased.
"Well, if now's not a good time..." Ron grinned.
"No, now's good." Hermione was eager to see what exactly Ron had been hiding from her.
"Here," Ron said, presenting her with a tiny package exquisitely wrapped in silver paper.
"Oooh!" Hermione bounced with delight. "Ron, I had no idea you could wrap like this!"
"That's because I can't. Lana did it."
"Does Lana know what it is?"
"Yeah. And Harry."
"So basically, everyone that matters except me."
"Yeah. But you matter most."
Hermione blushed at the comment.
"Just open it," Ron said impatiently.
Hermione pushed aside the silver curls revealing a velvet blue box. She opened it and a bright blue sapphire twinkled back at her. "Ron," she gushed, holding her heart. "It's gorgeous."
"It's a mood ring," Ron explained, blushing furiously. "It changes color to your emotions. For example, it's amethyst when you're scared and ruby when you're angry. And, like, if it's pink, you're only a little angry."
They both realized at the same time that Ron had said this all in one very long breath.
"Do you like it?" Ron asked, bending so that his forehead touched hers.
"I do," she said honestly. "It's so pretty." She fingered the delicate ivy engraving. "'I love you, Hermione,'" she read aloud. "I love you, too, Ron." She stood on her tiptoes. "You know I love you, too."

Harry found Hermio" he said, sliding in the seat next to her.
"Hi, Harry." She snapped her book shut and stretched out lazily, savoring the sun on her skin.
"Happy birthday."
"Thanks."
"Here," Harry said, pulling a large hunter green package out of his robes. "From me and Lana."
"Oh! Thanks." She eyed the package eagerly, wondering what it could be.
"And here, before I forget..." Harry dug into another packet and handed Hermione a small piece of parchment. "The instruction manual to that ring," he explained. "The color codings. Like red is scared and blue is happy and stuff."
"Oh. Thanks!" She carefully tucked the parchment into the large curling ribbons of Harry and Lana's present. "Lana wrapped it?"
"Yep. You didn't think I could do it, did you?"
"No," Hermione said honestly, grinning.
"How supportive," Harry said sarcastically, laughing.
"Hermione," Draco said, glaring down at her, appearing from no where. "And Potter." His upper lip curled in disgust. "Do the Weasley's know you're in here flirting with each other?"
"We're not flirting, Malfoy," Harry said tiredly.
"You just wouldn't know friendship if it spat you in the face," Hermione pointed out.
"'You just wouldn't know friendship if it spat you in the face'," Draco mimicked.
"Go away, Malfoy," Harry said, closing his eyes and shaking his head.
"I have a better idea. How about you stay here with Granger, and I'll go find your ex-girlfriend."
"For the zillionth time, Malfoy," Harry said, starting to lose his temper. "Cho and I only went out once."
"Not Cho, Potter. Lana."
ed down again. I'll stay here."
"Yeah. You do that." Draco stormed away before Harry could see how red his usually-pale face was.
Harry sighed, then folded his arms on the table and rested his head on them.
"Harry?" Hermione asked, bending down so that she could see that Harry's eyes were closed.
"Hmm?"
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah... fine." Harry sounded spacey. "Tired, but I'm fine."
"Why don't you go on back up and take a nap? I'm expecting Ron any minute now, anyway."
"What day is it today?"
"Uh... Saturday? The 19th of September? My birthday?"
"Oh. Right. Ten days until I get to read Sirius' letter," Harry said dreamily. "Ten days... until I'm not so..." He yawned. "Alone..."
"You're not alone, Harry," Hermione said, gently brushing Harry's dark hair away from his face. "I'm here. Ron's here. Lana's here. You're not alone."
"I'm here," Ron said, causing Hermione to jump, startled. He nibbled on her earlobe.
Hermione turned around and narrowed her eyes at her boyfriend. "Ron Weasley, you're a liar!"