The Paradigm Of Uncertainty

HARRY POTTER AND THE PARADIGM OF UNCERTAINTY

Chapter 9: The Day After

When Hermione came into the kitchen, dressed and freshly showered, she found her three roommates already there, passing a plate of waffles around the table. Laura looked up and smiled sunnily at her. Hermione rushed over and hugged her. "Are you all right?" she exclaimed, guilt suffusing herthat in her distraction the night before she'd completely forgotten about Laura's injuries. "I'm so sorry I didn't see you when you came home..."

"I'm absolutely fine, think nothing of it. These two were more than concerned enough for the whole household. Coffee?"

"Please," Hermione said, taking a seat next to Justin and accepting a cup from George.

"Me too," said Harry as he came into the kitchen, his face and t-shirt damp with sweat. "Maximum strength." He sat down on Hermione's left. Neither of them noticed the knowing glance the other three shared at his entrance.

"Could you pass the butter?" Hermione asked.

Laura picked it up and held it out to her. "There you go, hon. Would you like some marmalade? Or maybe a little sex with Harry?" she said, casually as if she were offering the maple syrup.

Hermione and Harry both jerked as if they had electrodes in the seats of their chairs. Justin and George collapsed into loud brays of laughter, but Laura merely smiled sweetly at their flustered expressions.

"Wha...what...what was that?" Hermione spluttered. Harry just sat there, one hand over his mouth, looking like he was barely holding back laughter himself.

"Oh, come off it, luv. You shouldn't leave the windows open if you want to have a secret tryst...we heard everything. It sounded like you two were ready to audition for Wild Kingdom."

"What are you talking about?" Hermione persisted, her ears turning red.

Laura cleared her throat and sat up straighter, adopting a high-pitched voice to do a very accurate imitation of the earful she and the others had gotten the night before. Hermione flushed purple and tossed a roll at herroommate to shut her up. Harry was shaking all over with suppressed laughter.

"Well," Hermione stammered. "I can explain. You see...I was, uh...I was..."

Harry shook his head at her, smiling. "Honey, I don't think you can talk your way out of this one."

"No, no, let her finish!" Laura said. "If she can manage to come up with a completely innocent explanation as to why she was in your room last night moaning and screaming in the throes of ecstasy then I for one can't wait to hear it."

Hermione groaned in frustration. "Oh, sod it," she sighed. Harry slipped one arm around her and kissed her temple as the others cheered. Hermione looked around at them shyly, daring to smile.

"Oh, how romantic," Laura sighed. "A nearly perfect moment."

"Not completely perfect?" Harry said.

"I only wish Cho were here to see it." Everyone laughed again, thoughts of Allegra and the dark forces far away. "Now," Laura continued. "How would you like to handle this? Announcements? We could just owl everyone..."

"No!" Harry and Hermione said simultaneously. Hermione glanced up at Harry, surprised...she didn't want to tell anyone but she'd assumed that he would want to. She could see by his expression that he was thinking exactly the same thing. Laura's eyes were flicking back and forth between their faces. "Let's just keep this within the house for now, "Hermione went on, forcing a smile. She could sense Harry shifting uncomfortably next to her. Laura, perceiving their uneasiness, dropped the subject and began talking about the star patterns she's seen last night. Hermione stared at her waffles, pretending she was too busy eating to look at anyone. The good humour of just thirty seconds ago was gone as quickly as it had come...Justin and George ate in tense silence while Laura rambled on.

They all jumped when the front door slammed. "I'm home!" called a cheerful voice. Cho walked into the kitchen. "Hey, waffles!"

"What are you doing here?" George said, amazed.

"Got a few days off and I missed my roommates." She grabbed the chair next to Justin. "I'm dying for some decent coffee." She looked around at their blank faces. "What's going on? You all look like you don't know which way is up! What's been happening?"

Laura leaned towards Hermione. "Please, I'm begging you...can I tell her?"

**********

Hermione was at her desk ostensibly working on a paper she was co-authoring, but she couldn't concentrate. She hadn't seen Harry since breakfast and she couldn't stop thinking about him. Half of her wanted to grab him and shake him until he told her what was on his mind...the other half just wanted to grab him and rip his clothes off.

As if her thoughts had summoned him, the door opened and he entered. "Busy?"

"Not really." She set down her quill as he sat down in a chair in front of the desk. For a moment they said nothing.

"I got an owl from Sorry this morning. He's fine, his cover is intact. As for the timing of last night's attack, I suspect Allegra has a pair of eyes in Hogsmeade who spotted us and told her where we were."

She nodded. "That makes sense. I'm glad Sorry's all right."

Harry examined his fingers. "Are we going to talk about what happened at breakfast, or are we just going to pretend it doesn't matter?"

She shrugged, picking up her quill. "You don't want to tell anyone, that's fine with me."

"You didn't want to tell anyone, either!"

"No, but I thought you would!"

"And I thought you would!"

"This is getting ridiculous."

"Very." He looked up at her. "Are you ashamed?"

"Of course not! It's just...I want to keep it in the house, all right? Don't read too much into it."

He bit his lip. "Is this about Ron?" he said carefully.

Hermione stood up, nodding as if she'd been expecting this. "I knew that was eating away at you."

He stood up too, beginning to pace. "Hermione...do you think there'll ever be a time when it's just the two of us? Without Ron's ghost pacing us every step?" He stopped and looked her in the eyes. "What if he were still alive?"

Her throat worked. "I don't know."

He sagged a little. "I think you're afraid to tell anyone because they'll think we're betraying Ron!"

"I didn't have a problem telling George!"

"You didn't have a choice, he lives here! At least I have a good reason for keeping it secret!"

"And what would that be?"

"You know the answer to that. If word got out that we're involved we might as well paint a target on your forehead."

She shook her head, amazed. "That is the worst load of codswallop I've ever heard. You're every bit as confused as I am, that's just a convenient excuse! And how can I challenge it? You're just trying to protect me, right? Nothing wrong with that!"

"Then if that's not the reason, what is?" Their voices had been steadily rising throughout this conversation and they were now almost yelling.

"I don't know, you tell me! Maybe you think we're betraying Ron!"

"You're the one that dated him!"

"Maybe you just resent me."

He gaped at her. "Why on earth would I resent you?"

"Because you'd rather be out doing the hero-act, hunting down Allegra and Voldemort, and I'm keeping you from doing it!"

Harry didn't get a chance to respond to this, because at that moment the door to the study slammed shut. They both turned, their mouths dropping open in surprise.

"What the hell is going on here?" Ginny said, her hands on her hips and a severe expression on her face.

Hermione just stared. "Ginny!" She was surprised, but glad, to see her old friend...but she wondered why she was there.

Ginny Weasely was a close friend of the entire household, and of Harry and Hermione in particular. She had almost gone in with them in the purchaseof Bailicroft but had found a lovely flat for herself in London. She was the founder and editor-in-chief of Circe magazine, a journal for the modern witch that featured thoughtful articles about feminism, the role of witchcraft in society, the challenges facing today's witch, women's health and behavior and a wide variety of other topics including more girly-stuff like fashion tips and relationship advice. In its four years of existence the magazine had reached a circulation of 50,000 subscribers globally, quite a large number in the wizarding world. Ginny was a thoroughly sophisticated individual...smart, tough, and independent. From the awkward little girl she'd once been had sprung a tall, glamorous and heart-stoppingly gorgeous woman who took no nonsense from anyone...and boy could she accessorize.

When she and Harry had finally gotten around to dating, they'd already been friends for many years. They'd gotten together almost out of a sense of obligation, figuring that they'd have to have a romantic relationship sooner or later and they'd might as well get it over with. They had lasted almost a year, to Hermione's surprise...they were really better friends than anything else.

And now here she was, smartly dressed in a tailored suit with a short skirt and pumps, looking ready to administer a good talking-to. "What are you doing here, Ginny?" Harry said.

"George owled me. He told me about you two and said he was worried you were 'thinking too much' as he put it, and he figured I was the best person to set you straight." Harry and Hermione exchanged a sheepish glance. "Sit down, both of you." They sat side by side on one of the leather couches. "Now, hold hands." They both frowned at her, puzzled. "Come now, do as you're told. Hold hands!" Harry shrugged and took Hermione's hand. Hermione thought she knew what Ginny was up to. She already felt less belligerent just by having her fingers intertwined with his. "Good. Now. What were you arguing about?"

"Well," Hermione said, "Neither of us wants to tell anyone about our new relationship."

Ginny nodded. "And this is a problem because you're both wondering what nefarious motives the other one has for wanting to keep it a secret, right? I thought so." She looked at Harry. "All right, Harry. I want you to tell me how you felt after what happened last night."

Harry glanced at Hermione, then looked back at Ginny. "I felt...well, I was very happy." He turned and faced Hermione. "I'd found a part of myself I'd been missing since birth. I felt whole." Hermione smiled.

"And you, Hermione?"

She thought for a moment. "It was just...completion. The completion of something that was started years and years ago. It was like..." She felt a lump rising in her throat. "Like being let out of a prison I hadn't realized I was in." Harry squeezed her fingers.

"All right. And you're both feeling guilty about betraying Ron. No, don't look surprised, it's all over your faces. If you don't settle this it'll hold you back." She leaned forward and fixed them with a stern gaze." Now, you can't go to Ron and ask his permission, but I'm his sister and I will have to do. You know what Ron would say if he were here right now?"

"What?" Hermione said.

"He'd say that it's about damned time." She gave a curt nod, the gestur eeerily reminiscent of Ron. "He would hug you and wish you luck and tell you that he'd wondered how long it would take."

"But if he were still alive...what if I were still with him?" Hermione said.

"Do you think that's how things would have happened?"

Hermione stared down at their interlaced fingers. "No," she said softly, after a long pause. "I don't know."

"Well, that's something you might want to think about. But you both seem happy. Don't let worries about what a dead man would think stop you. He loved you both and he would want you to be happy. He wouldn't want you to mourn forever, and he'd be very upset if he thought his memory was coming between you." Hermione nodded, feeling a great deal better. Ginny smiled." Now...kiss and make up."

Harry put one finger on Hermione's chin and tilted her face up. She leaned forward and kissed him, letting her hand rest on his leg. Ginny stood up, looking pleased with herself. Neither of them really noticed, they were far too taken up with each other. "I think my work here is done," Ginny said, and let herself out.

**********

The rest of the afternoon passed without incident. After Ginny had left, Harry and Hermione had vanished into the Cloister for an hour or so (with the windows closed this time) and had emerged only to endure good-natured taunts and nudges from their roommates. Hermione watched Cho carefully for signs of malice but she saw none. She had appeared surprised when she learned of the new developments, but so far she'd refrained from any of the cutting comments that were her specialty.

Harry had seemed quiet for most of the early evening, content to sit on the porch and watch the conversation of his roommates. At dinner he announced that he'd have to go to the I.D. that evening.

"Is that wise?" George asked.

"I'll be in no danger. I need to check on Lupin and send some owls," he said, giving Hermione a significant glance. They had decided through some mutual agreement not to apprise Laura of Sorry's Circle-related activities. Any knowledge she had might endanger her further, and it did no good toworry her when there wasn't much she could do about it. Hermione felt uneasy about Harry leaving the house but he was right, there were things that needed doing. "And I have about ten thousand things to do in the way of tracking Allegra and deploying my agents."

So after the dishes were done she had walked him to the door...he'd have to hike down to the bottom of the drive before he could Apparate out because of the wards that were guarding the house. They went out to the portico and shut the door behind him. "When will you be back?" she asked.

"Oh, later tonight, I should think. Don't wait up." He didn't look at her as he said this.

"I won't, but...come and wake me when you get home."

"All right." He fell silent. Hermione shoved her hands in her pockets and shrugged.

"Nothing horrible has happened all day, that seems encouraging."

"That was just Round One, unfortunately. I'd like to avoid Round Two if I can." He turned to her then and took both her hands in his. "Be careful. Watch your back."

"I will." She dropped his hands and embraced him, glad to feel his arms go around her at once and squeeze her tightly. They stood there for a few moments, holding each other, then Harry drew back and cupped her face in his hands.

"Goodbye," he said. She nodded, wondering if he knew that he wasn't fooling her. He kissed her. "I'll see you soon."

She nodded as he stepped away and headed off down the driveway. Shewatched him until he rounded a curve and vanished from sight, then went into the house and started looking.

She found the note just where she'd expected to, on the pillow of her bed. She picked it up and slit the seal with one fingernail, unfolding the sheet of heavy stationary.

Hermione,

By the time you read this, I'll be gone...and not just to I.D. headquarters. I couldn't tell you I was leaving because I knew I wouldn't be able to keep my resolve, and it's very important that I do. I must find Allegra and Voldemort before they strike again, and before they figure out that the fastest way to destroy me would be to harm you. The moment they realize your importance to me, your life would be forfeit. I can't allow that to happen. They're only harming others to draw me out...I suppose it's worked.

I will return when I have defeated them, but it may be a very longtime...and there is a chance that I may never return. If I have to die fighting him, then it will have been worth it as long as I know that you're safe.

It's been a strange few days for us, Hermione. We could spend the rest of our lives exploring what it means, and I hope we get that chance. After all we've been through I have to believe that it won't end now just as we have a chance at real happiness. If I can only return to you after all this is over than I will ask for nothing else my whole life. Please believe that it's very hard for me to leave you...I know you'll be angry. I hope you will have forgiven me by the time I return.

I just want to say that I am yours...but then, you already know that.

Harry

Laura, Cho, Justin and George stared at her in disbelief as she gave them the highlights of this letter around the kitchen table. "So that's it?" Laura exclaimed. "He's just gone?"

Hermione nodded. "Yes, he's just gone."

Cho arched an eyebrow. "I can't believe how calm you are. It's almost as if you don't care!" She would have said more, but the death-glare Hermione was firing at her silenced her in a hurry.

"I assure you that I care a great deal. You're right, though, I am calm. Probably because I expected this."

"You did?" George said.

"Harry may think he fooled me, but he underestimates just how well I know him. He can't possibly sit here and do nothing while he thinks the people in this house are in danger. The recent change in my relationship with him only serves to intensify his tendencies towards heroic martyrdom. This fugue is no surprise to me. You might say I was waiting for it."

"Surprise or not, I'd think you'd still be upset at not knowing where he is."

"And you'd be right, Justin. Except that I know something our Mr. Potter doesn't know."

"What's that?"

"That when I bid him goodbye just now I put a wee homing talisman on him. No matter where he's gone, I will find him. If he thinks I'll be content to sit here in this house and pine for him, he's sorely mistaken." She gave a decisive nod, tossed Harry's note to the kitchen table, and walked purposefully out of the kitchen into the front hall. Laura followed her.

"You'll have a job pinpointing his location," she said, hurrying to keep up with Hermione's long strides as she headed for the study.

"I know that."

"The further away he gets the more difficult it'll be to read the signs."

"I know that, too."

"If he finds the talisman he can counteract it in about five seconds."

"Do you have any helpful suggestions, Laura?" Hermione snapped, settling behind one of the large desks in the study and opening anastronometrics book.

Laura stood in front of the desk, hands on her hips. "Just that two heads are better than one."

"Four heads," said Justin, he and George coming up next to Laura. Hermione grinned.

"Five." They all stared as Cho walked in, going straight to her desk." Let's get started."

**********

Later that night the entire household had set up camp on the second story of the gazebo with Laura's telescopes. Cho was gazing through one of them and reciting alignment patterns for Justin to scribble down. George had a stack of books next to him and was paging through them searching for alternative ways to detect a homing talisman. Hermione stood at the railing with her wand in her hand. Every few moments she raised it and sent off a streak of light...Laura watched the streak through binoculars hoping for a deflection that would indicate the direction of the talisman. So far, nothing.

Cho stepped away from the telescope. "That's all until the moon rises." She sat down on the bench that ran around the upper deck. Everyone was silent. No one wanted to admit it but their hopes were dwindling. With each minute that passed it would become more and more difficult to locate Harry. "Maybe you should just let him do what he must, on his own," Cho said quietly.

Hermione didn't even bother to turn around. "Out of the question."

"Why?" Cho said, standing up. "What can you possibly do to help? He's a professional! You're...sorry, but you're a bookworm, Hermione. All you'll do is get yourself killed and probably him too!"

At that, Hermione lowered her wand and faced Cho. "What else can I do? Just stay here and go mad?"

"Better mad than dead!"

"I can take care of myself."

"Not you, him! You know he'd die to protect you, and if you go after him he's going to end up having to do just that!" she cried.

Hermione stared at her. "And you can't stand it, can you? That he'd die to protect me? It's just killing you that it's not you he's out there saving!"

"Well, who says it isn't? He'd try to safeguard any innocent life and you well know it. I wouldn't read too much into this if I were you."

Hermione gaped. "What are you talking about?"

Cho stepped closer to her, her eyes flashing. "There's no reason for you to run after him and get the both of you killed just because you finally got him to screw you!"

Laura gasped and turned her face away. Justin just stared, open-mouthed, while George shook his head, one hand over his eyes. Hermione appeared to be so furious that she had gone full circle into icy calm. She took one step forward and slapped Cho across the face, hard. She said nothing more, just walked calmly down the stairs and into the house. Cho started to leave too, but Laura grabbed her arm and held her back. "Oh no, you don't," she said. "You're going to sit your ass down and help us find him for her. And if you say another word so help me God I'll make that slap look like a friendly peck on the cheek."

**********

Hermione sat at her desk in the study staring at a book, but she wasn't reading it. Cho's words echoed in her brain like a broken record...finally got him to screw you, finally got him to screw you. Is that what Cho thought she'd been doing all these years? Trying to get him to...well, screw her? It was insulting and quite untrue.

There was a knock at the study door. Expecting Laura, Hermione called "Come in!" But it wasn't Laura. Hermione's gaze hardened. "I'm really not interested in anything you have to say, Cho," she said, looking back down at her book.

Cho walked forward to stand before Hermione's desk. She looked actually sorry. "Can't I apologize?"

"I don't know, can you?"

"I was out of line." Hermione slowly raised her head and looked at her. "All right, I was very out of line." She sighed and flopped into a chair in front of the desk. "The fact of the matter is...you weren't chasing after him, I was. And yet you're the one he's screwing."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Must you call it that?"

"Sorry. I suppose I'm a bitter, twisted individual."

Hermione snorted laughter, surprised to hear it coming out of her own mouth. "Oh yes, you're a bitter, bitter woman."

Cho chuckled, shaking her head. "It wasn't supposed to happen like this, you see. The men fall for me, they always do."

"Not always, apparently." She couldn't resist.

Cho nodded. "And I was just about to thank you for not rubbing it in." She bit her lip and looked away. "I really thought that someday..."She trailed off. "I still love him."

Hermione suddenly felt very sad for her as she realized that she really believed that. "No, Cho. You don't. You love the idea of him, that's all. It was never him."

She expected an angry denial, but instead Cho just looked at her thoughtfully. "I suppose you're right. All the same it smarts a bit. "She stood up and pulled something out of her pocket...it was a compass.

"What's that?"

"I found him," she said simply. Hermione jumped up.

"What?!"

"I found the right talisman detection charm. I've used it to enchant this compass, it should lead you right to him."

Hermione hurried around the desk and took the compass. "Oh, I could kiss you," she said. "But I won't," she added quickly.

Cho smiled. "Go. Go find him, and then don't let him our of your sight again."

"I don't intend to." She rushed to the door, but Cho's voice stopped her.

"Hermione?"

She turned back. "Yes?"

"Um...when you get back, do you think we..." She cleared her throat. "Could we just sit and talk for awhile?"

Hermione smiled. "I'd like that."

Cho jerked her head towards the door. "Then go on, get out of here. Better hurry."

Hermione left the study and ran down the hall, slipping the compass' chain around her neck. I never though I'd say this, she thought, but God bless Cho.