How Adam's Ears Changed Stan

"Stan?" He could hear a distant voice from up above him. "Stan?" His eyes popped open to reveal his wife.

"Stan, are you alright?" Mrs. Granger asked pensively. "You just kind of plopped over..."

"Yes, yes, I'm quite alright..." But as he heaved himself up off the floor, Mr. Granger remembered what it was that had made him pass out. He darted to the door and peeked out into the hall. There was no one there.

To Stan's immense surprise, he heard laughter behind him. He whirled around. "What?"

Chuckling merrily, John choked out, "You really left yourself open for that one, mate. And you totally fell for it too." He collapsed into a fit of laughter.

"We all did," Delia told Stan pacifying, laying a hand on his arm.

Mr. Granger was completely baffled. "Feel for what?"

Derrick chortled, "Never try to spy on you daughter and her husband while sitting in plain view. They WILL give you a heart attack."

Stan, being an intelligent man with a PhD, caught on rather quickly. It was an act. They faked him out, and he bought it...in front of everyone...passed out. He was just getting to the enjoyable castration of Harry in his evil revenge plan, when Hermione came into the room laughing her head off.

"Oh my God, Daddy," she giggled. "That was so funny." Stan felt his sinister mood ebb away in spite of himself. "I didn't mean for you to faint or anything, just give you something to see if you were going to spy on us."

It was in this moment that Stanley M. Granger, DDS, vowed to give up the pursuit of espionage until the end of eternity. He forced himself to give a low rumble of laughter. "Yes, very clever of you..."

Hermione collapsed into Harry's waiting arms. "You lot should know better than to think I would attempt to seduce my husband in the deserted corridor of a London hospital while I was pregnant." Catie looked quickly at her feet as Chris gave a loud false cough. "Granddad Lars didn't hear that did he?" Hermione asked.

"What?" Granddad Lars piped up from the bed. "Someone say my name?"

Hermione looked thoroughly relieved. "Okay, then..."

**

Stan was still a bit sore about being teased by his own daughter as he drove home. He didn't understand why all his relatives were laughing solely at him and not each other. Was it because he fainted, or was there some other reason that it is the plot of this story for Stan to figure out... Maybe it was because he fainted...

He'd been better since Adam was born, hadn't he? I mean, with being nice to his grandsons and all. He was even happy about Harry and Hermione having another baby. HAPPY! What was it that he was doing wrong that everyone saw but him...

"Dear," Stan addressed his wife. "Do I behave alright when it comes to Hermione?"

Mrs. Granger thought a minute before answering. "Well, Stan, I must say you're much better than you were before..."

"But do I behave normally?"

"You're a bit more suspicious than I'd prefer, but you behave normally, yes..." She gave him a searching look. "Why do you ask?"

Stan shrugged. "I don't know. The joke Hermione pulled today..."

"Yes?"

"Why is it I was the only one being laughed at?" Mrs. Granger stifled a laugh. Evil woman. She was supposed to be on HIS side.

"We all laughed at each other... Everyone realized they'd jumped to a rash conclusion..." She stopped at the look on her husband's face.

"You were all laughing at me."

Mrs. Granger shook her head. "You fainted..."