There Is No Such Place

Chapter summary: an illicit snog under guise of friendship, Slytherin propaganda under guise of a love letter, frogspawn under guise of soap.

"Well," said Petunia when Lily entered the house, "look who's back."

"Nice to see you too, Petunia." Lily noticed an unfamiliar figure lurking behind Petunia, watching her warily. She extended her hand and smiled. "You must be Vernon. I'm so pleased to finally meet you."

Vernon Dursley was about twenty-five, with the heaviness of a former athlete whose muscles were rapidly running to fat. His moustache twitched as he studied her, and Lily wondered how Petunia could bear to kiss him. He shook her hand as quickly as possible, nearly crushing Lily's fingers in his desire to make an impression and retrieve his hand as quickly as possible. His hands were sweaty, and Lily surreptitiously wiped her hand on her skirt when he released it.

Reluctantly, Petunia said, "Vernon, this is my little sister, Lily. Back from school."

"How do you like school?" Vernon asked. "Pet tells me you go to some experimental boarding school up north."

"Er, yes. I like it very much."

"So what do they teach at an experimental school? Metalwork for girls, ballet for boys, that sort of nonsense?"

"Something like that." Well, Transfiguration sometimes involved metals … although Lily had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing at the mental image of James and Sirius in leotards. Or Severus in a frilly pink tutu … or Rosier in tights…

She was saved from disgrace by the entrance of her mother.

"Lily! I thought I heard your voice!"

Lily hesitated a moment, and then hugged her mother tightly.

"I've missed you," she said honestly.

"Me too, darling."

Over their mother's shoulder, Petunia scowled at Lily, who ignored her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered in her mother's ear. Best to get this out of the way…

"I know. It's all right."

Mrs Evans kissed Lily's forehead and released her. She looked much better than she had a few weeks ago; there was colour in her cheeks and her eyes were sparkling.

"Come into the kitchen, love. I've saved some dinner for you."

Lily gave Vernon a sweet, not-at-all-witchlike smile as she allowed herself to be led into the kitchen. He flinched, his moustache quivering.

Oh Petunia, she thought, what have you been telling him?

She positively skipped as she took her seat. It was going to be a good summer.

***

'Dear Nancy,'

Lily capped her pen (a Muggle ballpoint) and stared at the blank page. From Petunia's room came the sounds of shrieks and giggles as Petunia and her friend Yvonne tried on makeup. Petunia had a summer job, but she only worked a couple of days a week. Lily turned up her record player and picked up her pen.

'If I hear one more twitter about eyeshadow, or nail polish, I might go mad. I never believed it was possible, but my sister has a grown even more irritating than ever. If she's not gushing about her lump of a boyfriend, she's talking about clothes, or pestering me to let her do my hair. She says that I draw attention to myself by wearing my hair straight and long when all the other girls have cute little haircuts, or blow it dry (that's like a Volume Charm) so it's all fluffy. So I point out a girl with hair like mine, and she just says, "Well, would you want to look like her?"

'It's like living with Mary, only worse, because we're related.

'And then there's Vernon. The Boyfriend.

'Aside from the fact that he's as greasy as my boys say Severus is, I'm quite sure that she's told him what I really am. Which is a bit of a worry, because what if they break up, and he tells other people? I wish she'd waited until they're married, or something…

'Actually, I wish she'd never told him at all. Our parents don't know that he knows. He has so much fun asking me about my 'experimental' school, when we both know that I'm lying through my teeth. And then he goes off with old Tuna Pet, saying something like, "Shifty girl, that," and she just nods and agrees with him.

'Bloody code of magical secrecy.'

The record came to an end. Lily got up to turn it over, and, as squeals and giggles escaped from Petunia's room, turned it up again for good measure.

'I've sort of made up with my mother, which is to say, we're on speaking terms again. So we spend time together (she's made it her goal in life to Get To Know Her Daughter Again), but I still get this prickling feeling sometimes.'

"Lily!"

Petunia hammered on the door, and Lily realised guiltily that she'd been pounding and shouting for a couple of minutes. She threw down her pen and opened the door.

"What?"

"Mum wants you to turn your music off and come out and talk to Mrs Davis."

"Oh, no," sighed Lily. Mrs Davis was their next-door neighbour, and an incurable gossip. She took a great deal of interest in Lily, "the local bluestocking," and seemed to take an unearthly delight in interrogating her about school.

Her mother and Mrs Davis were standing out on the footpath outside their front gardens. Lily pasted a smile on her face and racked her brain for obscure facts and random bits of Latin with which she could impress and flummox Mrs Davis.

"Well, well," Mrs Davis greeted her cheerfully, "all hail the conquering academic, eh?"

"Um," Lily said. Her mother gave her an apologetic look; she knew very well that Lily preferred to avoid people who interrogated her about her education.

"Learn anything valuable at your school, then?" Before Lily could answer, Mrs Davis continued, "not like a comprehensive, I'd wager. All spare the rod and spoil the child, nowadays … no grammar, or proper literature … do you still learn Latin, dear?"

"Yes—"

"Ah, a good Classical education. Say something."

"Um … noli irritare leonem … it means, don't irritate the lions." Lily frowned, squinting over Mrs Davis' shoulder, at a lean, dark-haired figure slouching up the street. "I think it's an old family motto, or something."

"It's jolly good advice," said Mrs Davis. "What are you looking at, Lily?" She turned around.

"Hi," said James.

***

"So, James," said Mrs Evans, pouring him a glass of apple juice, which he sniffed at thoughtfully, "what brings you to our neighbourhood?"

"Well, I came to visit Lily. I got my Apparition license a couple of days ago, and Aunt Sothis had one of those thingies, 'phone books'. It took us a little while, but Sirius and I figured out which place was Lily's, and I Apparated to that little park in the next block." He grinned. "Pretty cool, huh?"

"So you're of age now?" asked Lily.

"As of the first week of summer. I now—" James adopted a formal tone of voice – "bear the duties and responsibilities, and corresponding privileges, of an adult wizard."

"And what do your parents think of that?" asked Lily's mother.

"Well, nothing, actually." James' hands were tightly wrapped around his glass. "They're dead."

"They died a few days before Grandma," Lily said.

"Oh, I'm sorry," said her mother. She patted James' arm. "There's no good time to lose one's parents. I know."

"The worst part is," James said softly, "that my parents were really popular when they were alive, but now they're gone … there are all these stories." He shook his head. "I don't want to be remembered like that. I look back at my dad, but he's not Dad anymore, he's just a rich, eccentric wizard who kept a lot of Muggle lovers."

"No one's parents are perfect, James," said Mrs Evans. "With time, you'll be able to remember them properly."

James smiled. "I like her," he said to Lily. "Do you think she'd adopt me?"

"Well, that depends. How much do you eat?"

"Adopt who?" asked Petunia, entering the kitchen. "Who's being adopted? Who are you?" She eyed James distastefully.

"I'm James Potter. You must be Petunia."

Petunia took a step away from the proffered hand. "Are we entertaining her sort, now?"

"Petunia, you will show some manners—"

"How come she's allowed to have boys over? You never let me—"

"You have Vernon over all the time!" Lily shouted.

"Yeah, but I was never allowed to have my boyfriend visit when I was sixteen!"

"He's not my boyfriend!" Lily cried at the same time as James said, "Oh, we're not going out." They both stopped and laughed.

"Why don't you show James around," suggested Mrs Evans. "I need a word with Petunia."

"Two minutes with Petunia, and I'm screaming like a lunatic," Lily sighed as she led James up to her room. She left him at the threshold while she whisked her dirty clothes under her bed and folded Nancy's letter into a book, and then said, "care to step into my parlour?"

"With pleasure."

For a second, Lily felt horribly self-conscious about the old pictures on her wall, and the beaten, one-eyed teddy bear on her pillow. At least she'd made the bed, and there was no underwear on the floor … Lily's heart caught in her throat as James looked over the little row of miniature teddy bears, but the Severus bear was tucked behind a book, and he didn't seem to notice it.

"You have a really cool room," James finally pronounced.

"Thanks."

Feeling rather awkward, Lily sat down on the bed. After a moment, James joined her.

"What's Apparition like?" Lily asked.

"Nothing much. I thought it'd be really thrilling, going between places, but it's just a moment of nothingness. Flying is more fun. Which—" he pointed at her broomstick, leaning against a wall, "brings me to the little matter of Quidditch."

"I know. I've been thinking about it, and I really don't know how I can be trained, not around here—"

"All taken care of." James reached into the pocket of his jeans and produced a nondescript plastic keyring, in the shape of a black dog. "Do you think your Mum would mind if I made a couple of Portkeys between our houses? Because you and Sirius can't Apparate, and you're not on the Floo network."

"Um … well, I guess she wouldn't mind. I mean, I'm allowed to catch buses and trains – this is basically the same, right?"

"Yup." James drew his wand and, concentrating fiercely, rattled off a long, complicated incantation. To Lily's eyes, nothing changed, but when he'd finished, he grinned at her and said, "one Portkey for Miss Evans."

"Thanks." She took it from him and examined it while he performed the same incantation on another keyring, this one shaped like a flower. "How does it work?" she asked when he'd finished. "Not touch, obviously."

"Nah, that's dead inconvenient. There's an Activation Charm – the Ministry doesn't care if kids use it, because it's one of those things that can't go wrong. Has to be, in case there's an emergency, and you need to perform it with someone else's wand."

"That's pretty clever," Lily agreed, and put the keyring away on her bookshelf.

James finished and lay back on her bed, looking as though he belonged there. "Yeah. Though truthfully, the Ministry doesn't track underage magic in most magical families. Except they hate Sirius' mum, so he can't do anything fun. Mostly, though, it just depends on how strict your parents are."

"That's really unfair," said Lily, "about Sirius' family, I mean."

"Yeah. Dad – Dad always said it was institutionalised bigotry. But then, he was the – yeah." He took off his glasses. "You sure your mum won't mind?" he asked.

"Quite sure."

"Good. I really like her – don't want to be banned from the premises." He replaced his glasses and grinned. "Your sister's something else, though."

"I know. She's been so weird this summer."

He grinned. "Maybe she's pregnant."

Lily wrinkled her nose. "I sincerely hope not." She pushed James' feet out of the way and sat cross-legged at the foot of the bed. "Would it sound vain if I said that she seems jealous?"

"Not really. You're a lot cooler than she is."

Lily blushed. "Thanks."

"Still," said James, "it is a bit weird. I can't imagine Stephen ever being jealous of me."

"Do you miss him?" Lily asked softly.

"Yeah. Not – not every minute, but I'll be laughing, or flying, and it'll just hit me … I'll remember something stupid, like arguing with the decorations on the tree – my dad always charmed them to talk, which was fun until I discovered that they wouldn't let me shake my presents. Stephen thought it was funny…" Lily patted his leg sympathetically, and he smiled, sitting up.

"What do you do then?" she asked.

He shrugged. "It only lasts a minute. I just need to stop… the others understand."

"I knew they would. They're good friends."

"Yeah, the best." James swallowed and said, "Lily?"

"Yeah?"

"Nothing." He studied her face for a moment, and then leaned forward to kiss her.

Lily opened her mouth to protest, but her mouth touched his before anything could escape.

We should stop, she thought, but her body seemed to interpret that as a signal to move closer to James and put her arms around his waist. His glasses were pressing into her face, and she was struck by the contrast between James, who was subtle and gentle, and Severus, who was possessive and demanding.

Severus.

Who trusted her.

Who

--James' hands slid into her hair, and their kiss became more intense—

did not

--cold glasses bumping her cheeks and a touch of desperation—

deserve her betrayal…

"James," she gasped, and pushed him away. "Please – I can't—"

He was flushed, breathing heavily as he said, "I'm sorry – I didn't mean—"

"I can't," said Lily, feeling sick. "I'm sorry—" She suddenly recognised the horrible absurdity of the situation, their frantic kisses and equally frantic apologies, and began to laugh.

That was when her mother walked in.

The circumstances were immediately obvious. As her mother's lips thinned, Lily wondered why every significant kiss in her life had to be interrupted by someone inconvenient.

Mrs Evans' voice was unbearably soft as she said, "I have spent the last forty-five minutes arguing with Petunia. I told her that you could be trusted, Liliane. Was I wrong?"

"No," said Lily miserably.

"Really."

"Please, Mrs Evans," said James, "it was a mistake."

"Why should I trust you, James? I don't even know you, and you show up my house and – and maul my daughter. What am I supposed to think of you?"

"It's never happened before, Mrs Evans. And – and I doubt it will happen again." He looked at Lily for confirmation, which, feeling utterly despicable, she gave.

"Very well," said her mother. "I came up to see if you wanted lunch." Her voice suggested that the very best course of action would be to come downstairs quietly. Despite this, Lily said, "We'll be down in a minute."

Mrs Evans looked like she wanted to argue, but she merely said, "All right." She walked away, pointedly leaving the door open.

Lily turned to James. "I'm really, truly sorry, and I should have stopped, and – oh God, I must be the single lowest human being on earth—"

This made James laugh.

"No," Lily went on, "you don't understand. I – we – the boy I was – seeing – we made up."

"Ah."

"It's not that I didn't enjoy kissing you."

"Right. Thanks." James stood up. "We should go downstairs before your mother unleashes the hellhounds."

"We don't have hellhounds," said Lily, trying to match his light tone, "but she might send Petunia, and that's just as bad."

He laughed, a little weakly to be sure, but it was a laugh just the same.

Lily's mother had left two plates of sandwiches on the bench. As they joined her at the kitchen table she said, "I'm sorry. I overreacted."

"That's okay," said Lily.

"Yeah," agreed James. "My mother would have been worse – she'd have hexed us so badly—" He broke off, looking suddenly sick. Lily's mother patted his arm.

"I just forget that Lily's not a little girl anymore … it was such a surprise to realise that she might have or want a boyfriend."

"Yeah, I was surprised to find she had a boyfriend, too," said James. Lily groaned quietly.

Her mother raised her eyebrows. "Really? This is the first I've heard of it… does he have a name, dear?"

Lily, blushing fiercely, shook her head.

"It's apparently a big secret," James explained blithely. "All I know is that he's not from our house. And to be quite honest, I'd just as soon not know who he is. I might feel compelled to throw him off a parapet in the middle of the night, and that wouldn't fit with my easygoing image."

Lily's mother laughed, but Lily could see that she was planning a full-scale interrogation for the near future. James rose from the table.

"Where's the bathroom?"

"Upstairs, third door on the right."

"Watch out for Petunia and Yvonne," Lily added. "Although they'll probably keep out of your way."

"So," said Lily's mother as soon as James was gone, "this is an interesting little soap opera you've created."

"Mum—"

"We'll discuss it later."

"Liliane!" Petunia stormed into the kitchen. "That disgusting little friend of yours gave me the most disturbing smile when I passed him on the stairs. You'd better tell him that I have a boyfriend, and that Vernon will flatten him if he tries anything."

"Petunia—" Lily sighed and appealed to her mother, who launched into yet another lecture on the virtues of acting one's age.

In the end, James failed to charm Petunia, although Lily was thoroughly amused by his attempts. Her mother was a different matter all together: by late afternoon, she was eating out of his hand, and had extracted a promise that he and Sirius would be over for dinner on Friday. Much to his surprise and embarrassment, Mrs Evans hugged him tightly as he left, ruffling his hair and kissing him on the cheek.

"It does get easier, love," she said, and he nodded, blushing fiercely.

"Thanks."

Lily walked him back to the park as the sun set.

"Thanks for keeping my mother distracted," she said.

"It was nothing."

"No, really. She's going to interrogate me later, but she's had a few hours to cool off."

"Yeah, well. It was kind of my fault that she found out in the first place." He shrugged awkwardly. "I was a bit pissed off. I'm sorry."

"Oh. That." Lily shook her head. "I'm so, so sorry that I didn't say something."

"Don't be."

"I mean earlier. When it began – the first time, I mean. When he and I started—"

"I know what you mean. But … some things need to be kept secret. I understand that."

They reached the park, which was considerably more dilapidated than Lily remembered.

"Anyway," James added, sitting down on a rusty swing, "I meant it when I said that I didn't want to know."

"Really?"

"Absolutely." He looked up, and the sunlight reflected off his glasses. "It's not real that way, y'see. I don't have to look at another guy and think, why the hell did she choose him over me?"

"Oh."

"And—" James dropped his voice slightly. "Look, this isn't to go beyond the two of us. And you can't even hint that you know."

"All right. I promise." Lily cautiously gripped the swing's chains, so that she could lean over James as he spoke.

"Sirius and Marguerite were sneaking around a bit last year."

Lily felt as though the ground had fallen away beneath her. "They—really?"

"Yup. They had a thing going." James scowled. "He managed to keep it secret pretty nicely – even from me. And I didn't think we had secrets."

"Marguerite," said Lily. "Wow. Yuck."

"She's not bad looking," said James.

"Oh, no, certainly not. It's just a pity that she's a psychopathic cow."

"Lily!"

"It's true." Lily scowled. "I can't believe this –- she takes so much pleasure in hurting me. I know she doesn't pay so much attention to you guys, but—" She groaned, recognising the cruel irony of the situation.

"Yeah, well." James shook his head. "He says it's over, but – I dunno. I don't even know why they were together, and I really wish I hadn't found out."

"I thought that she and Lestrange were really happy together. And Sirius isn't even a pureblood."

"I know."

"How long were they – together? I never suspected a thing."

"About six months. They broke up just before Christmas."

"Oh."

"Sirius … reckons it was a mistake."

Lily said nothing. She felt utterly miserable – what gave her the right to feel so betrayed? Rather awkwardly, James hugged her, and she let him.

"I shouldn't have said anything," said James. "Now I've upset you."

"No – no, I'm glad to know."

Just before he Disapparated, James said, "Oh, and I hope Petunia enjoys her gift."

"Gift?" asked Lily, but he was already gone.

'I'd been home about an hour,' Lily wrote later, 'and Petunia was getting ready for a date with the Human Nundu (trust me, Nancy, you do not want to smell his breath). All of a sudden, horrible shrieks came from the bathroom. I raced in to make sure she was okay, and found her clutching a handful of frog spawn, whimpering like it was Bobotuber pus.

'You can probably guess what happened – James put a Glamour over a bar of frog spawn soap and left it in the bathroom for Petunia to find, just like he did to Katherine Reynolds last year. Not sure how he made sure that only Petunia used the soap, but once it got wet – well, you know.

'Of course, unlike Katherine, Petunia couldn't chase him around Gryffindor Tower and stuff frog spawn down his pants. Instead, she just stood there like she had a handful of armadillo bile, or mandrake blood or something.

'Petunia was utterly furious, but Mum adores James already, so once again, he gets off scot-free…'

There was a knock at the door, and Lily's mother entered.

"Lily."

"Hey, Mum."

Her mother sat on the bed, looking a little awkward. "When do your exam results come out? I thought you usually get them before school breaks up for summer."

"Not the OWLs. They'll come out in a couple of weeks."

"Ah. Right."

Lily sat up and put her letter away.

"I hope I didn't interrupt you," her mother said.

"No. Just writing a letter to my friend, Nancy. She's just finished at Hogwarts – she's getting married soon."

For some reason, this example of maturity and middle-class respectability failed to impress her mother, whose obvious worry deepened.

"She's a bit young, isn't she?"

"I suppose so. But it's not – well, not normal, but not unusual in the wizarding world."

"Hmm."

"Mum?"

"Well, that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about, love." Her mother sighed. "Don't you think you're a bit young for all of this?"

"Mum, I'm sixteen."

"Yes, and you have a boyfriend of uncertain identity, and a small harem of boys chasing after you."

"A harem--? Mum, you sound like Petunia or Gwendoline. They're just my friends."

"Even James?"

"Especially James."

Lily's mother picked up the little James teddy-bear and examined it curiously as she spoke.

"I don't quite know what to do in this situation, Lily. Petunia didn't start dating until she was eighteen, and, well, neither did I. And your aunt Anna went so wild … I look at other kids, and think, thank God my Lily's not like that. But then I wonder what you are like." Mrs Evans sighed helplessly. "You've immersed yourself in this strange, medieval culture, where incredibly powerful children are encouraged to marry young and breed more incredibly powerful children. Your friend James is apparently regarded as an adult, but he still plays jokes like a little boy. And my baby girl keeps so many secrets… I worry that your school, and your abilities, and your … relationships are warping you."

"I'm not being warped! And I don't mean to keep secrets. I just – they just happen."

"Really."

"You wouldn't understand," Lily muttered.

"Perhaps not. But I'd appreciate it if you made an attempt to trust me, Lily."

"Like you trust me?" Lily asked before she could stop herself.

Her mother put the James bear down and picked up the Endless Box. "That's beside the point right now."

"Are you sure? Uh, Mum, that's a small inter-dimensional portal. You might want to be careful with it."

Her mother put the box down quickly. She gave Lily an exasperated look and stalked out, leaving Lily to wonder what she'd done now.

***

Sirius' home was in Devonshire, a semi-isolated farmhouse on the edge of Dartmoor. There were two other houses nearby. She was quickly given to understand that they were Muggle homes, and best avoided. Other than that, they may as well have been on another planet.

Lily had seen Sirius' mother at King's Cross, now, she was introduced properly, while James smiled nervously. He obviously valued his godmother's good opinion. Sothis Black looked like her children. Remembering what Severus had said on the train, Lily fancied that there was a hint of Snape in Sothis' high cheekbones, but that might have been her imagination.

Mrs Black gave her a piercing look and said, "So you're the girl who James speaks of so much."

Sirius frowned at this; Lily wondered how much he knew about the events of the previous day.

His mother laughed at Lily's obvious confusion, and the resemblance to her son became even clearer. "Good things, Lily. Unless you are the living embodiment of Gryffindor perfection, I imagine that you'll have a difficult time meeting our expectations."

"I doubt it," said Catriona, Sirius' older sister. "Unless she's undergone a radical personality change since I left school." She favoured Lily with a rare smile and disappeared upstairs, murmuring something about having to write a report for work.

"Hey, Mum?" asked Sirius as he threw sandwiches and drinks into a backpack. "Aren't you meant to be working today?"

Mrs Black shrugged, her mouth tightening. "I got an owl telling me not to come in. The Minister's inspecting the department, and Joseph doesn't think he wants to see me." She smiled crookedly at Lily. "I'm a black sheep around the Ministry – marrying a Muggle, and all."

"Yeah, polluting a perfectly good line of pure blood." Sirius didn’t sound particularly upset – in fact, he seemed proud of his mother.

"That's awful," said Lily.

"Indeed," said Mrs Black, "and it will only get worse if You-Know-Who keeps getting more powerful. There are rumours that the Muggle-related departments will be shut down all together."

"Mum deals with Muggle artefacts," Sirius explained. "Deciding which ones can be charmed and used in magic, and which ones would be too dangerous."

"Come on," said James, tugging at her elbow, "grab your broom. We'll take you up the moor."

They used a Portkey to travel from the Blacks' house to an isolated spot of land.

"We have to be extra careful about letting the Muggles find out about us, 'cos Mum can't afford the fines if the Ministry finds out we've been careless," Sirius said.

"I'd pay them," James muttered. He drew his wand and pulled Lily over to an outcropping of rocks. They were clearly unnatural: a circle of granite pillars, all marked with weathered runes.

"Tap these ones," said James, pointing at a group of three runes. "Make sure that you never even touch these ones." He pointed at another set of runes with his fingers, keeping his hand well away from them. Lily recognised the worn symbols from her Defence Against the Dark Arts textbook, and shivered.

James tapped on the runes in a rapid pattern. The stones shifted and reversed themselves, and Lily felt a small jolt, like an electric shock.

"Wow," she said. James and Sirius laughed at the look on her face.

"Dartmoor's like London," James explained, "mirrored in another dimension."

"The same dimension," Sirius added.

"Right. Has a different kind of portal, though, which is why you have to be careful about the runes."

"You could end up anywhere," said Sirius, shuddering. "Cat made a mistake once, when she was thirteen – she was missing for three days…"

Lily thought of some of the dimensions she'd read about, and understood the haunted look on his face. Most were uninhabitable, and of those that supported human life, only six had been declared benign by the Ministry.

"We come here a lot to fly," said James, "since we have to be more careful about being seen by Muggles."

"Yeah, it's all right for Snape," said Sirius, "he lives around here, you know. On the other side of the moor. He tramps all over Dartmoor with his little friends, doing God knows what to the Muggles." He picked up a rock and threw it at a nearby pool. It bounced off the water and back into his hand. "The Ministry tried to blame me for some stuff last year, but Mum gave them what-for." He sniggered. "Heard that his mum was dead furious."

"Do we have to talk about Snape?" asked James. "It's not like he ever comes into this dimension … not on the moor. I really want to fly."

Lily had learnt to fly and play a basic game of Quidditch back in first year, but the school brooms were rather clumsy, and she'd never felt secure enough to fly for fun. The Nimbus 1001, however, was like a dream: sleek and fast, never jerky or awkward.

"You need to forget about compensating for flaws," James said after an hour. "This a brand new broom – it's damn near perfect. It's not some old Cleansweep."

"I know, I know…"

They spent the day racing, chasing each other around outcroppings and trees until Lily felt more confident manoeuvring at high speeds.

"You'll make a decent Seeker, once you're trained up," James said over a picnic lunch.

"Really? I'm not a natural like you."

"Yeah, but naturals are pretty rare."

"There's always Dangerous Dai," Sirius pointed out, waving a bottle of Butterbeer. "Or Lauren McNally, or Henri Beauchere…"

"Yeah, but they're all pros," said James. "At a school level, the standard is lower."

Lily lay back as the boys launched into a complicated discussion about school versus professional Quidditch, citing players and matches from centuries past, statistics and – when Sirius was getting desperate – a Seer's prediction that the last years of the century would see the rise of a 'Quidditch prince'.

"That's rubbish," said James. "It's a myth. Or someone just got bored predicting the rise or fall of Dark magic and tuned their Inner Eye to a Quidditch match."

Lily stared up at the sky and tried to imagine herself playing Quidditch at school. Her daydreams took two forms, brilliant successes or humiliating failures, all under the eyes of Severus and James.

While James had wandered off for a few minutes, Sirius leaned over and said, "Hey, Lily?"

"Yeah?"

"James said that you and he, uh—"

Lily sighed, blushing. "We kissed. Yesterday. It was a mistake."

"Don't you like him?"

"He's just a friend, Sirius. Like you."

Sirius shook his head. "He really likes you, Lil. I mean, really. And I am your friend, but he's like my brother, and if you hurt him, I'll be really pissed off."

"I don't want to hurt him. But I can't – I can't be his girlfriend, either."

"Why the hell not?"

For a second, Lily considered confiding in him – after all, he'd had a secret – thing – with Marguerite. But Sirius hated Snape, whereas James merely regarded him as an unpleasant fact of life.

"I just can't."

James returned and the matter was dropped. Lily felt unaccountably irritated, at James, for liking her so much, and at Sirius, for being such a good friend.

Perhaps this relationship with Severus was warping her, just a little.

***

The next morning brought a letter from Severus and the long-awaited OWL results. Lily considered them both over her breakfast cereal, not sure which she should read first. Her mother solved the dilemma by snatching the heavy Hogwarts envelope out of her hand.

"Mum!"

"Sorry, love, but I hate to see you dithering."

"I wasn't dithering. I was contemplating. They're very different things."

"Lily," said her father, "just open your results. Your boyfriend can wait."

Her parents exchanged a look which suggested that Severus could wait a year – a decade – a lifetime – if they had anything to say about it. Petunia smirked at her over the toast rack.

"Fine," Lily said. She retrieved the envelope from her mother and broke the Hogwarts seal. She closed her eyes, almost afraid of what she would see…

'Dear Miss Evans,
'It is the pleasure of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to award you fourteen OWLs…'

"Wow," Lily murmured. Four OWLs for Charms, and a note indicating that she held first place in the year. Four for Potions, and second place. Fourth place in Defence Against the Dark Arts, sixth for Arithmancy … "I've done rather well," she said, amazed.

Her parents were suitably congratulatory, showering her with praise until they had to leave for work: her father for the publishing house, her mother for the doctor's surgery where she worked as a secretary.

Petunia, who had sulked through breakfast, picking at her toast, left for her job, muttering something about meaningless results and freak schools. Lily had an hour before she had to be at Sirius' house; she settled down to read Severus' letter. She had been worried about using the charm to reveal the parchment's hidden text, but Severus' handwriting appeared as soon as she'd touched it with her wand. Lily was absurdly touched at this uncharacteristic thoughtfulness.

'Lily,
'I'm writing this very late at night, under the watchful eye of one of the Da Silva family portraits. Grandfather David (no grandfather of mine, you understand, or anyone in the past three or four generations) is offering unwanted advice on punctuation and spelling, despite the fact that he is thoroughly ignorant about both.

'(He wishes me to tell you that I am an insolent pup, and had he a physical existence and a wand, he would certainly duel me for the right to your hand.)

…

'All right. I've retreated to another corner, devoid of amorous paintings or wandering insomniac guests.

'There are half a dozen people from Hogwarts here, and a number of adults besides. I don't normally enjoy large social events, but I've grown up with these house parties, and I rather like them. Marguerite's parents, along with a few others in the circle, like to give us students an opportunity to meet significant adults, most of whom were friends with my father. It's a fairly small circle, and Father was a significant part of it when I was younger. I lack his charm, but I seem to have his intellect, and they respect that.

'My mother, naturally, never attends these affairs, nor does she host them. I imagine that she'd forbid me from going, if she thought there was the slightest chance that I'd obey.

'Really, the only sour point about life at this moment is that I miss you dreadfully. I had a pleasant fantasy about sneaking you into Malfoy Manor next month, but of course, Marguerite, Tobias and Narcissa would all know who and what you are.

'You would not be welcome in this circle. My father was never foolish enough to discriminate against the Muggle-born, provided that they were powerful and intelligent (my godfather, on the other hand, was quite fanatical on the subject), but Father was regarded as something of an eccentric.

'I've been thinking about him a lot, lately, trying to see the world through his eyes, and trying to understand what he was thinking when I last saw him. It's … not a pleasant task, but I imagine that he would have liked you. He'd be more concerned about the fact that you're a Gryffindor than your Muggle origins. (If only you were a Ravenclaw, Lily, our lives would be so much easier.)

'The others here would not be so tolerant.

'I don't always like that, but I'm fascinated by what they have to teach me. These are the leaders of magical society. (Hogwarts may be a bastion of Gryffindor "team players", but Slytherin House rules Britain). I don't care that the Muggle-born are barred from my House. But I made suitably shocked noises at the suggestion that Dumbledore is going to attempt (again) to break the spells that Salazar Slytherin put on the Sorting Hat to prevent it from putting Muggle-borns into Slytherin. (He'll never do it, though –politics aside, Salazar Slytherin was the most powerful of the Founders, and the only Parselmouth in centuries. Dumbledore cannot hope to compete.)

'I'm sorry – I'm digressing – I'm worried. There are so many undercurrents and unspoken games here, and there are decisions to be made.

'I need simplicity. I need you.

'I'll be back at home in a week. Can I meet you at Diagon Alley next Thursday? Ten-thirty at Flourish and Blotts?

'Thinking of you – Severus.'

Lily regarded the letter, chilled by the contents. The obvious omissions were almost as terrifying as what had actually been said. A truly Slytherin love letter, she supposed.

Oh Severus, she thought, but couldn't bear to complete the entreaty, or the prayer, or the desperate wish that he'd be all right.

The letter continued to distract her throughout the day, much to the irritation and amusement of the boys. They had been joined for the day by Remus and Peter, who cheerfully pelted her with soft training Bludgers while she attempted to dodge.

After lunch, they abandoned their brooms to wade in a wide, sun-dappled pool, which Lily was quite sure didn't exist in the 'real' Dartmoor.

Enjoying the feel of the smooth, silky sand under her feet, Lily drifted away from the others.

"Careful," warned James, appearing at her side, "it gets deeper over there."

"Thanks."

"When it's been raining, it gets deep enough to dive off from the tree branches."

"I'll bring my bathing things next time, then."

Lily pulled herself up onto a dry rock, her wet clothing and hair – for Sirius had been typically enthusiastic about splashing her – dripping around her. She was glad that she'd worn her dark blue t-shirt … a white one would have been highly embarrassing. One of the pitfalls of being the only girl in the group, she supposed. She was rather annoyed that no one had told her they might be swimming. The boys had all abandoned their shirts, and Lily had left her grandmother's locket in James' shirt-pocket on the shore.

Sirius and Peter had ganged up on Remus in a splashing fight, but James, sitting on a rock beside her, showed no inclination to join them.

"Congratulations on your OWLs, by the way," Lily said suddenly.

James blushed. With his glasses left on the shore, he seemed much younger than usual.

"Thanks," he said. "You did pretty well yourself.

"Yeah, but I'm not the one who came first in five subjects." Careful to keep the rancour out of her voice, she added, "without actually studying."

"Um. Yeah. Bit embarrassing, that. Still, I reckon my Potions marks made up for it." James had been placed in the bottom third of the year for Potions, a dubious distinction that he shared with Remus and Sirius. Peter, surprisingly enough, had placed eighth from the top, an achievement that worried him dreadfully.

"It was only a fluke," he'd said earlier, "and now Crowley'll expect me to do it again in the NEWTs, and what if I get worse? Or – what if I get better? What if I beat Snape? He'll kill me!"

"Don't worry, Peter," said Sirius solemnly, "I'll protect you."

"You'd have to beat Lily first, anyway," Remus pointed out.

"Yeah, and how do you know that I won't gang up with S-Snape to keep you in your place?" Lily asked playfully.

"Your innate common sense and good taste, I hope," James said seriously, but Lily's courage had been expended on the one mention of Snape's name, and she lacked the heart to continue the exchange.

***

Sirius and James came over for dinner on Friday night. Sirius was disappointed to find Petunia out on a date, but Lily thought it was just as well. Without the temptation to play silly jokes – and with James' smiling apology for the frog spawn incident – the boys managed to make a good impression on her parents.

After dessert, they retreated up to Lily's room (Lily left the door open, eliciting a half-annoyed twitch of the eyebrow from her mother as she went past) to discuss Quidditch, the coming year and anything else that came to mind. For the first time since James' first visit, Lily felt completely comfortable in their presence.

"We'll hold tryouts in the last week of summer," said James. "I'll send owls out to everyone in the House – Frank sent me the list of names."

"Better make it two weeks before term starts," said Sirius, "otherwise everyone'll be planning to go to Diagon Alley."

"Good idea. Where will we have tryouts?"

"Dartmoor, or Hogwarts – McGonagall might give permission – Hogsmeade Green?"

"We can decide later, I guess."

"What about first years?" Lily asked.

"Oh, they never make the team," said James. "Don't have their own brooms, and they're never as good as they think they are."

"Yeah," agreed Sirius, "it'd be dangerous, letting a first year play on a team. I won't allow it."

"Yeah, but you're not Quidditch captain, are you?" James and Sirius stared at her. "You … are captain?"

They exchanged an amused, pitying look. "Poor, poor Lily," sighed James, "so wrapped up in herself that she didn't even notice when Padfoot became Quidditch captain…"

"You remember," said Sirius, "night before the Leaving Feast? I came into the common room doing one of my famous song and dance routines? Here, I'll demonstrate—"

He jumped, struck a ridiculous pose and opened his mouth, but it was Petunia's voice that came floating up the stairs.

"SEE that girl! WATCH that scene! Da-daaaaa – oh, hello, Daddy!"

"Is that your sister?" asked Sirius.

"Yeah," said Lily, "that's Petunia. Our self-styled dancing queen."

"You've got to see her, Padfoot," said James, "she's an utter classic. Better than Snape, even."

James and Lily joined Sirius at the doorway, and they watched Petunia bounce up the staircase, still humming. She abruptly returned to Earth when she caught sight of the boys.

"Oh. More of Lily's little friends."

"Boys," said Lily sweetly, "this is Petunia. My sister. Petunia, you've met James – this is his friend Sirius."

Lily had expected Sirius to say something witty and cutting. She wasn't prepared for what happened next: he offered Petunia a charming, ostensibly sincere smile and raised her hand to his lips.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," he said softly. "Lily has told me so much about her sophisticated big sister – I hope you won't associate James' silly pranks with me…"

Lily and James watched in disbelief as Petunia blushed.

***

Lily dipped her quill in ink, and carefully wrote, 'As soon as she was gone, James turned to Sirius and said, "Padfoot, you hypocrite! That frog spawn was your idea!"

'Oh Severus, if only she went to Hogwarts! The boys would never even give you a second glance, they'd be so busy with her. I try to be disapproving, but she truly deserves it. She makes herself utterly ridiculous in their presence, and now Sirius eggs her on shamelessly. Add Vernon into the mix, and it just becomes funnier.

'I don't like Vernon, though – there was an incident on Saturday that rather upset me. Dad somehow persuaded Vernon and Petunia to take us all into town, and after lunch, we messed around in a playground while they snuck off to snog. There were a bunch of kids around, and James decided to take the opportunity to show off his latest game, Muggle "magic" tricks – just sleight-of-hand, really, but there's a certain amount of skill involved. I suspect he'll be pulling Knuts out of ears until Christmas.

'He'd gotten as far as saying, "Want to see a magic trick?" when Vernon roared up out of nowhere and pinned him to the ground, while Petunia grabbed the kids and shielded them, like James was some kind of pervert. All the parents were giving us dirty looks, so we beat a hasty retreat back to home and relative sanity.

'I don't think my parents know, because they certainly wouldn't be as nice to Vernon as they are – but it really scared me. James wasn't badly hurt, but he had some shocking bruises. Vernon's a lot bigger than him, and James had the impression that the damage was deliberate. Vernon strikes me as the kind of man who knows how to cause really subtle damage – the kind that seems like an accident, and doesn't show.

'I don't want to tell my parents, though. I have the feeling that they're just glad that Pet's found someone – because she is a difficult kind of person, and all she really wants is a house of her own and people to look after.

'Anyway, she hates me already.

'On a more cheerful note, I will definitely be meeting you in Diagon Alley on Thursday. But I warn you: Mum has decided to meet this fiend who's making off with her daughter, so she's coming too…'

***

"You don’t have to come, you know," Lily said as she led her mother into the Leaky Cauldron. A few patrons glanced up at them, and Lily heard one man mutter, "Muggle-borns. Peh."

"Tell you what," said her mother uneasily, "I'll meet him, and then you can take me back here, and I'll spend a few hours in the real London."

"This is real," Lily muttered, tapping on the entrance to Diagon Alley. But she had no real desire to pick a fight with her mother. In their Muggle clothes, they were the objects of stares and unfriendly mutters as the pushed through the crowds. Lily briefly wished that she'd worn robes, but then she thought of her mother, a lone Muggle in magical territory.

"Now, we're meeting him at the bookshop?"

"Knowing Severus, we're meeting him in the bookshop."

Sure enough, he was standing amidst the shelves: a tall, skinny young man with his nose in a book. Lily cleared her throat, and then, when he ignored her, put her hands over the pages. He looked up in surprise, and she swiftly kissed him.

"Lily," he said, "I missed you." He added the book to a pile at his feet, and wrapped his arms around her. Lily's worry, sparked by his letter, deepened, for there were deep shadows under his eyes, and he was not normally given to overtly seeking comfort.

"Are you all right?" she asked.

"Fine." He looked past Lily, who remembered her mother. She introduced them, watching her mother's face as she took in Severus' rather unimpressive appearance. His black robes looked expensive, but worn, and they hung from his skeletal frame. His hair was lank, and his hands, tightly wrapped around hers, seemed almost like claws. The fingernails were somewhat ragged.

Mrs Evans shook his hand, looking faintly appalled. "I'm very pleased to meet you," she said gamely.

Severus glanced at Lily, and she gave him a pleading look: don’t make a bad impression…

"Likewise," he said at last, and there was a respectful note in his voice that he usually reserved only for Professor Crowley.

"We're having a family barbecue on the weekend," said Mrs Evans, although this was the first that Lily had heard of it. "Would you be able to come?" She regarded him critically. "You look as if you need feeding up."

Oh, great, Lily thought. Her mother didn't hate him, she just wanted to adopt him.

Severus looked nonplussed, but he said, "I, uh – thankyou."

"Excellent. Well, I have some business in London, so if you'll show me out, Lily…"

"I'll find you back here," Lily said to Severus.

"He's awfully thin, isn't he?" said her mother once they were out of earshot.

"Makes a nice counterpoint to Vernon."

"And his hair… what do his parents do, letting him run around like that?"

'I don't know. I think his father's dead."

"Oh, the poor boy." Yes, Lily thought. Like James, Severus was going to be Nurtured. "Well, I'd have liked to get to know him better, but…" Mrs Evans shook her head. "I don't feel completely comfortable here," she admitted.

"Hence the spur-of-the-moment barbecue?"

"Which I've been planning for months. Well, minutes, at least. I'll meet you on Charing Cross Road at four, okay?"

"Okay." Lily watched her mother leave, then turned and ran back to Flourish and Blotts. Severus was at the counter, purchasing his books. Lily's eyes widened at the cost, and at the small bag of gold that he produced. He saw her look and said, "My mother is happy to give me large sums of money if it will keep me away from her."

"That's rather horrible," said Lily as they left.

"Is it? It works for both of us… Plus, I supplement it with some other things."

"Yes, I've heard about your extortionate tutoring rates."

"Oh no, my rates for extortion are much higher." Lily giggled, and suppressed the thought that he wasn't joking.

They wandered through the long narrow Alley, ducking and pushing through the crowds. Most people were adults, clad in business robes and rushing to their destinations. A couple of times, they spotted people from school, but no one who knew them.

A hush fell over the crowd, and a group of seven Aurors made their way through, towards the ivory tower that housed the College of Aurors, which cast no shadow as it loomed over Diagon Alley. The Aurors wore their badges of office on chains around their neck, and gripped their wands as if they expected Voldemort to attack at any moment. Beside Lily, Severus stiffened.

"Where do you suppose they've been?" she asked.

"Probably the Ministry. Or Hogsmeade. They parade through, flashing their shiny badges and letting everyone know that the world is safe for heroes and good guys. And while the College and Magical Law Enforcement breathe down our necks, the Dark Lord and his minions drink tea with the Minister of Magic.

"Really? Minister Chambers?"

"I think so. I heard some rumours…"

"Slytherin runs the wizarding world," Lily said bitterly.

"Exactly."

The Aurors gone, Lily and Severus crossed the street and found a table at Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour.

"So how was your stay at Marguerite's? Really."

"I told you. It was fine."

"Severus…" Lily swirled the syrup on her chocolate fudge sundae, which rearranged itself to prevent the melted bits from spilling. She took his hand. "You're quiet, you look unwell, you're even more cynical than usual – and your hands are all—"

He snatched his hand away from her.

"I'm fine. Just … tired. The last few days were – well, some of the da Silva family friends have mighty strange teaching methods."

"What were you—?"

"Severus!"

Lily looked up at the newcomer, approaching behind Severus. There was a flash of fear on Severus face, gone within seconds.

"Severus … aren't you going to introduce me to your –" an amused, dismissive flick of the eyes – "friend."

Severus took a deep breath. "This is Lily Evans. A friend from school." He glanced at her. "Lily Evans … this is Lucius Malfoy."

to be continued