The First Day

Ginny left the breakfast table as soon as Harry had finished opening his birthday gifts. She ran up to her bedroom, and swiftly made her bed and shoved all her dirty laundry under it. She swept the clutter on the surface of her desk into the laundry basket and shoved it into her small closet. She froze when she heard Ron, Hermione, and Harry come up the first flight of stairs. Ginny took a deep breath. 'Now or never, Weasley,' she muttered. She twisted the doorknob and opened the door a little. 'Harry, will you come in here a moment?' she asked, hoping he didn't hear how breathless she sounded. He looked slightly confused, but followed her into her bedroom.

She clasped her hands behind her back, hoping to quell their shaking. He was gazing interestedly around her room, and she suddenly realized why. In all the years he'd come to stay with them at the Burrow, he'd never once seen the inside of her bedroom. She suddenly felt very aware of how small the room was and how her single bed seemed to loom against the wall. He finally turned his bright green eyes to her, and Ginny took a deep breath. 'Happy seventeenth,' she said softly.

'Yeah... thanks.' Harry's voice was quiet, but it sent ripples up her spine. Ginny kept her eyes on his face, and he seemed to be unable to look away from her, but ironically, unable to look at her at the same time. 'Nice view,' he said, in a desperate rush to fill the increasingly tense silence.

'I couldn't think what to get you,' Ginny finally said.

'You didn't have to get me anything,' Harry said quickly.

Ginny ignored him, her fingertips itching to trace the underside of his jaw. 'I didn't know what would be useful,' she continued, as if he hadn't said anything. 'Nothing too big, because you wouldn't be able to take it with you.' Ginny's voice was steady and she cocked her head to the side slightly, taking a step closer to Harry. 'So then, I thought, I'd like you to have something to remember me by, you know, if you meet some veela when you're off doing whatever you're doing,' she quipped lightly, knowing she was about to make a fool of herself if things went wrong.

The corner of Harry's mouth tipped up a little. 'I think dating opportunities are going to be pretty thin on the ground, to be honest,' he told her huskily.

'There's the silver lining I've been looking for,' Ginny whispered, then before she could change her mind, she closed the small space between them, and rose on her toes, pressing her lips to Harry's. Her arms wound around his neck and he made a soft sound in his throat while her tongue traced the contours of his lips. It was as if something snapped, and one of his hands tangled in her hair, and the other slipped around her waist, and pressed her against his body, bending her backwards.

Ginny mewed against his mouth and suddenly Harry tore his mouth away from hers and he kicked the door shut, returning to Ginny before she could protest. Ginny pushed the unbuttoned long-sleeved shirt off his shoulders and began to yank the tail of his t-shirt from the waistband of his jeans, her hands skimming up the skin of his back. Harry's fingers danced up the front of her shirt, trying to push the small buttons through the smaller buttonholes. After a few fumbling attempts, he gave up and hooked his fingers on the collar and pulled, sending several buttons pinging to the floor.

He began to move backward, gently pulling Ginny with him until his knees hit the side of her bed, and he sank onto it, pulling Ginny with him...

*****

Ginny's eyes snapped open. Instead of the small, bright bedroom at the Burrow, she was ensconced in her bed in her dormitory at Hogwarts, surrounded by scarlet curtains. Her breathing slowed and Ginny lifted a shaking hand, wiping away the sweat that beaded her forehead. 'What the hell was that?' she muttered.

*****

Ginny sat on her bed, waiting for the other girls to fall asleep. She was determined that she would sleep tonight. Without the dreams. Right, Ginny muttered to herself. I just need some tea or something. I think Mum packed some chamomile in my trunk. She threw the duvet off and lunged for her trunk, pushing the lid up. She rummaged in the bottom for the packet of chamomile tea Molly had thrown into the trunk before she'd left for King's Cross. These dreams are getting ridiculous, Ginny grumbled silently, not wanting to arouse the suspicion of the others girls in the dormitory. She used her wand to fill a large mug with water and heated it with a tap of the wand. She dropped the teabag into the water and set the mug on the night table, waiting for it to steep.

*****

'This is silly,' Harry muttered mutinously.

'What is?' Ginny's hands slid across his back, warm in the chill of the water.

'This,' he said, with a sweep of his hand, skimming across the surface of the river, sending a splash of water into Ginny's face.

'Urg,' she spluttered.

'Sorry.' He squinted up at her, trying to bring her face into focus. 'I mean, here I am - the Savior of the Wizarding World -'he began mockingly. 'And my girlfriend is teaching me how to float on my back.'

'Swim,' Ginny corrected. 'I'm teaching your ungrateful arse to swim.'

'Yeah.'

Ginny flicked water at Harry. 'Shush you,' she huffed. 'Too much talking, not enough floating.'

Harry snorted and let his eyes close as he floated peacefully for several moments. Ginny bit her lip and let one hand slip from under his shoulders. She laid it on the sprawling bruise that spread over his chest. The heat from his skin warmed her hand, and she could feel his heartbeat bump steadily against her palm.

She was unaware Harry's eyes had opened and watched her curiously as her head dipped and she began to gently brush her lips across the bruise. 'What are you doing?' he asked mildly.

Ginny turned her head to meet his gaze. 'Making it better...' She resumed her gentle ministrations with her lips over the livid bruise.

*****

Ginny sat up with an explosive gasp. She expected to see the lazy current of the River Otter, not the scarlet curtains that swathed her bed. 'All right,' she breathed. 'All right. The chamomile did not help...'

*****

Ginny stepped into the tiled cubicle of the bathroom in the boy's dormitory. Her bare feet were cold and the scalding water pooled in the bottom stung a little as they acclimated to the temperature. She wrapped her arms around Harry's waist, hand sliding across his soapy skin.

*****

Ginny jerked, her arms and legs flailing, tangling in the sheets already twisted around her body. She nearly fell out of bed. She glared at the canopy overhead. This was not supposed to be happening.

*****

Harry twisted trying to see down the back of his jeans. It had been ages since he'd had clothes that were bought with his size in mind. 'Well, more than just my school uniform,' he muttered. He tugged at the hem of his newly-discovered Christmas jumper. He had spent his lunch hours the past week scouring through department stores for clothes. Not that he knew much about clothes, so he stuck to the basics - jeans, trousers, a few shirts that fit, some jumpers that weren't full of holes, and new trainers and a pair of boots. The jeans were stiff in their newness, an entirely unfamiliar sensation to Harry. He'd never had a brand-new pair of jeans in his life.

'Oh, stop being such a girl,' Ron called into the bathroom.

'Hi, Harry,' Hermione chirped. 'Oooh. Nice jumper. Where'd you get it?'

'Belated Christmas gift,' Harry murmured.

'Ready to go?' Hermione asked. 'We were thinking about Flooing from here to the Leaky Cauldron, then from there to the Three Broomsticks. They'll let them leave to the village about eleven, and we can meet up with Ginny in the entrance at Hogwarts.'

'At the gate?' Harry asked, his head whipping around to face Hermione and Ron standing on the landing.

'At the school...' Hermione said uncertainly. 'Is that all right? I told Ginny we'd meet her at the school...'

Harry felt a sharp pain in palm and glanced down. He'd clenched his hands into fists so tightly his fingernails were digging into palms. He forced himself to uncurl his fingers and ran his sweaty palms down the sides of his jeans. 'Yeah,' he gulped. 'Yeah, it's fine.' He ran his hand over his newly-shorn hair, ruffling it a little. He took a deep breath. 'Let's go, then.'

*****

Harry trailed behind Ron and Hermione, trudging up the lane from the entrance gate of the school. It felt strange to be back to a place he had considered his first home for so long, only to be seized with a sudden desire to turn his back on it and run in the other direction. He sighed and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his coat, tucking his chin into the recesses of the new hand-made scarf he'd found draped over the hook in the scullery that held his coat. If Molly had her way, she'd see he was kitted out properly in no time at all. He was frankly surprised she hadn't gone out and just bought new pants for him while she was at it. Be he supposed even Molly was going to draw the line there. For now.

He was slightly worried about seeing Ginny. Her letters to him were... He'd never received letters from her before, so he didn't have anything to judge them by. She seemed okay, but there was something he couldn't put his finger on about them. If pressed, he could say there was a nervous quality about them, but that wasn't the Ginny he knew. Not the Ginny he had come to know and respect. It almost felt like those days before his second year of school when he'd stayed at the Burrow, and Ginny could be found peering shyly at him from the edges of the sitting room. When he read her letters, that was the image of Ginny that rose before him. Harry didn't consider himself the jealous type, either, but she'd been awfully chatty about Dean lately - how well he was progressing at Keeper, conversations they had in the common room - to the point where Harry was wondering if she was trying to obliquely tell him something. He shook his head. No, that wasn't Ginny's style. She usually had no problems telling him something. After all, she was the one who stalked him during the summer and told him baldly how his behavior was affecting the rest of the family, and didn't mince words while she did so.

Hermione threw a glance over her shoulder at Harry and frowned. 'Do you think he's okay?' she asked Ron softly.

Ron shrugged. 'Yeah. Maybe he's just nervous about seeing Ginny again. I was when you came home. Spent all day on pins and needles waiting.'

Hermione snuck another peek at Harry. 'I'm not sure...' she said doubtfully.

'Hermione, leave him be, all right?' Ron muttered, growing annoyed. 'If he wants to talk about something, he'll come to us. Like he usually does. And if there's someone who hates hovering more than Ginny, it's Harry.' His expression softened as he reached down and took Hermione's mittened hand in his. 'I know you mean well, hen.'

The three of them climbed the stone steps to the large doors of the school and pushed one of the doors open, straining to make a crack large enough to slip through. The entrance was empty, and there were no welcoming echoes of students streaming through the school for a well-deserved day of hilarity in the village. 'How early are we?' Ron asked, trying to pull up his sleeve to check his watch.

'About ten minutes,' Hermione murmured. 'They ought to be coming down here soon.' She pulled a book out of her bag, and began to leaf through it.

'You brought a book?' Ron said incredulously. 'To a date?'

Hermione glanced at him over the edge of the book. 'This is a date?' she snorted. 'Hanging round Hogsmeade with your sister and her boyfriend?'

'It's better than nothing,' Ron said defensively.

'Ah... Mr. Weasley, Miss Granger, Mr. Potter... Here to meet your sister, are you?' McGonagall said, as she sailed into the entrance.

'Yes, professor,' Ron said.

'That's nice of you,' McGonagall said, then turned as a swelling tide of noise began to flood the entrance. 'Please form a line to the left. Professor Sinestra will check your names off the list of students with permission to visit the village! Any attempts to sneak out without said permission will result in more detentions than you can possibly complete in the remainder of the school year,' she informed the gathered students severely.

Harry glanced up at the staircase that led to Gryffindor tower and barely refrained from letting his jaw drop open. Ginny clattered down the stairs with Dean to one side of her and Demelza on the other, but as she chatted with Dean, her face lit up with laughter as she mimicked one of Ron's less spectacular saves from his tenure as Keeper. It's nothing, he told himself. Nothing at all...

'Ginny!' Hermione waved a hand wildly in the air, and Ginny shrieked and bolted down the rest of the stairs, hurling herself at Hermione.

'I'm so glad to see you!' Ginny said fervently. 'You have no idea how badly I've needed to talk to you!'

'Did you forget how to write?' Hermione teased.

Ginny caught sight of Harry and flushed. 'N-n-n-no,' she stammered. 'Just needed to talk in person,' she said in a rush. 'Hi, Harry,' she breathed, her hands twisted around the ends of her scarf.

Harry tried to smile, but it came out as a grimace. 'Hi, Gin...' Awkwardly, he leaned forward and brushed a chaste kiss across her cheek. 'Erm... Shall we...?' he asked, gesturing toward the door. As he extended his arm, his coat swung open revealing the jumper underneath. Ginny's eyes widened in shock.

'Before you go, Potter, I need to have a word with you in my office.' McGonagall put a hand between Harry's shoulder blades and steered him in the direction of the Headmistress' office. 'You can have him back in a few minutes, Miss Weasley,' she added.

Ginny watched Harry disappear with McGonagall and seized Hermione by the sleeve. 'Erm, can you come with me to the bathroom? I, um, think I've gone and sat on something...' she said in a rush, and dragged Hermione off to the bathroom closest to the entrance.

Ron stood in the middle of the entrance gaping after them. 'I'll just stand here, then, shall I?' he yelled sarcastically.

'That would be great!' Hermione called over her shoulder. She let Ginny tow her into the bathroom, and watched curiously as Ginny cast every spell she knew to keep people from overhearing a conversation. 'All right?'

'No, I'm not all right! I mean, things were fine. Great, actually, then I come back to school, and there's this space between us, and I start to wonder do I really love him or is it still some vestige of hero-worship from when I was eleven? And then he shows up wearing that damn jumper I knitted for him last Christmas! How did he even find the bloody thing? I could have sworn I packed it away in the cupboard of my bedroom... Oh, please tell me he hasn't been pawing through my things... And then he looks so good in it. And it's like I'm eleven all over again, and I don't know what to say, and I don't know what to do with my hands, and all we need now is a bloody butter dish and it's complete!' Ginny began to pace to and fro across the bathroom, ignoring the rather perplexed expression on Hermione's face. 'And what is up with these dreams?' she yelled. 'Every night! Every bleeding night I have one. And it's not like it is in those barmy novels I read! Oh, no! It's supposed to be moonlight and rose petals... And music and candles... And chocolate for Merlin's sake! But, oh no! No! It's all buttons popping and swimming and showers and snogging and skin and I'm so confused!' Ginny was on the verge of tears. 'And what happens next? What if... I can't... I thought he was dead! I thought he was dead and the life I thought - I knew - I wanted was over! And then he's not, and bloody hell! Why does it have to be so effing complicated?' she roared, slumping against the wall. 'And he comes through that door and he smells so good and I can't decide whether or not to snog him senseless or shake his hand...' she added plaintively. Ginny stood against the wall, the sounds of her breathing harshly echoing around them. 'I can't live like I did last year,' Ginny said quietly into the silence of the bathroom. 'I can't live the rest of my life wondering if he's going to come home again...' She looked at Hermione. 'I think I've gone quite mad...'

Hermione turned and reached into a stall and tore a long strip off the toilet roll and handed the wad to Ginny. 'Blow your nose,' she said matter-of-factly.

Ginny did as she was instructed and swiped the back of her hand over her cheeks. 'Do you trust Ron?' she asked abruptly.

Hermione was taken aback. 'Yes. But it's not quite the same, is it?'

'But he left you...' Ginny persisted.

Hermione waved her wand in the air, conjuring a handkerchief. She soaked it in cold water from the sink and began to gently press it to Ginny's face. 'It's not quite the same,' she repeated. 'I've known Ron and what's he capable of doing since we were eleven years old. And when he came back after Christmas, I didn't trust him. Not for a long time. Months. And even now, I wonder if he's telling me what he really feels or what he thinks I want to hear to make me think he's all grown up. And if you know Harry as well as you think you do, you'd know that if things went sour between the two of you because of who and what he is, he'd never forgive himself...'

'I know,' Ginny said tightly.

'I don't want to spout off some trite nonsense about giving him time,' Hermione said lightly. 'That's the last thing you want or need to hear. Give yourself time, eh?' She pulled Ginny into a hug. 'It's not like you're getting married tomorrow...'

Ginny laughed shakily. 'I keep telling myself that...'

Hermione pulled back a little, so she could look at Ginny. 'You do know how you feel, you know...' she murmured. 'You just have to sort it out from the other noise...'

Ginny sighed and stepped back. 'I'm scared to try...' she confessed.

'At least you can admit that.' Hermione tucked a strand of Ginny's hair behind her ear. 'Let's get you settled a bit. Then we can go back out.' She leaned against the wall next to Ginny. 'Trust or love isn't something that happens overnight, you know.'

'How did you know it was Ron...? If you don't mind me asking.'

'Oh...' Hermione traced the pattern in the tile with the toe of her shoe. 'Not until I saw him snogging Lavender in the common room. I mean I knew there was something. And it didn't dawn on me why I was upset when he didn't ask me to the Yule Ball our fourth year, or why I didn't mind when he gave me that completely awful perfume. But the first time I saw them with each other...' Hermione shook her head ruefully. 'I wanted to claw her eyes out with my bare hands, smack some sense into Ron, then snog him myself until he forgot she ever existed.' She gazed contemplatively at Ginny. 'You seemed awfully chummy with Dean.'

'He's a friend,' Ginny retorted. 'And one of my teammates. And in my House.'

'And a former boyfriend,' Hermione reminded her. 'You were with him for quite a while.'

'Oh, come off it,' Ginny snorted. 'He's just a friend.'

'If you say so...'

'I do.'

Hermione examined the younger girl for a moment. 'You know, if you'd unbend enough to talk to Fleur, you might learn something about yourself.'

'What's that supposed to mean?' Ginny asked sharply.

'I know you don't like her,' Hermione began, 'but think about it. If anyone could tell you what the difference between a crush and real, actual love would be, it would be Fleur. Or if you won't talk to her, then talk to Bill.'

'Maybe,' Ginny murmured, reluctance lacing her voice.

Hermione nibbled a thumbnail. 'So those dreams...? Who's in them...?

Ginny huffed. 'Who do you think?'

Hermione shrugged. 'Dunno. I mean, I dreamed about Ron in Australia...'

'Ew.'

'It's perfectly natural,' Hermione said loftily.

'Not when it's Ron.' Ginny examined the toes of her trainers. 'It's Harry...' she admitted.

'Well...' Hermione pushed herself off the wall. 'Make sure you remember than when you're trying to decide if you're still in the throes of a crush.' She began to lift some of the charms around the bathroom, then stopped before she lifted the Muffliato charm. 'So, how are they... those dreams...?'

Ginny's cheeks burned and she brushed her hair from her face. 'Erm... We're going to have to stop by Honeydukes' before we come back. I need to replenish my chocolate stash...'

'Ah.'

*****

Harry stared at McGonagall. 'What do you mean, "The Pensieve is yours"?' he spluttered.

McGonagall's eyes narrowed. 'Exactly what I said, Potter. Dumbledore wants you to have it.'

'But I can't take it,' Harry protested. 'It's valuable! Someone else probably needs it more.'

McGonagall shot Dumbledore's empty frame a mutinous look. 'Albus would insist on visiting Aberforth today...' she grumbled. 'Harry... You have more information about how Dark wizards think. You spent half your life linked to the Darkest wizard of all time. At some point, you might want to examine those memories. If not for yourself, then for your profession.' McGonagall speared Harry with one of her sternest looks. 'What if the difference between catching a Dark wizard is whether or not you were able to sift through those memories?'

Harry met her gaze squarely. 'That's not fair, professor,' he said firmly, but quietly. His eyes flicked toward the cupboard in the corner of the office. He silently cursed her for knowing his weaknesses.

McGonagall smiled thinly, knowing her arrow had hit the target. 'I'll have it packed up for you to take home when you bring Miss Weasley back later.'

'Thanks,' Harry muttered. It was one more thing to add to the growing pile of things in the Weasley's attic.

'You'll thank me one day, Potter.' McGonagall motioned toward the door. 'Now, go enjoy the rest of your day.'

****

'It's like the train,' Ron muttered out of the corner of his mouth.

'What is?' Hermione made a face at the couple meandering ahead of them.

'Those two.' Ron made a small gesture to Harry and Ginny's back. 'Remember? On the train home after Dumbledore's funeral, we were all crammed into one compartment - you, me, Neville, Seamus, Dean, Luna, Ginny, and Harry - and they,' he jabbed an accusatory finger at Ginny and Harry's backs, 'ended up sitting next to each other. You could cut the tension in there with a wooden spoon.'

Hermione nodded. 'Yeah, I remember.' It had been almost unbearably painful, like a bad sunburn. It simmered just under the surface until you had to move, then it rippled over you in increasingly agonizing shimmers. Harry had managed to squeeze next to the window, and by the time Ginny was able to join them, the seat next to him was the only one left. Hermione didn't think it had been deliberate, but no one seemed willing to sit next to Harry that day. Not even her and Ron. Ginny, however, had hesitated a little, then with a resolute glint in her eyes, burrowed into the seat. Hermione had noticed how once Ginny was settled, Harry shifted slightly, so he could see her in the reflection of the window, even though it appeared he was ignoring her.

Today, they walked close to each other, but neither of them managed to meet the other's eyes. Occasionally, they would bump into each other, and veer away quickly with muted apologies. 'It's like Kneazles in a room full of rocking chairs,' Ron breathed.

Harry kept his eyes glued to the path in front of them. Ginny did, too. Neither of them seemed to know what to say, and when he did give Ginny a quick peek, he could see her shoulders hitch irritably as she tossed her hair over her shoulder and glare at Ron. He knew Ron and Hermione were talking about them. He could hear their indistinct murmurs. It was why he kept shoving his hands deeper and deeper into his pockets.

Unable to take it anymore, he stopped, and grabbed Ginny's sleeve with one hand, pulling her to a stop. 'You two go on,' he said to Ron and Hermione. 'We'll be along in a bit...'

Ron looked from Harry to Ginny and grabbed Hermione's hand before she could say another word and towed her away through the gate.

Harry took Ginny's hand and pulled her to the edge of the Forest. He found a boulder and silently gestured for Ginny to sit. When she'd managed to find a comfortable position, he perched gingerly next to her. 'We don't have to do this, you know...'

'Do what?'

'Date each other.' Harry's hands almost went through the pockets of his coat. He could feel the seams straining under his clenched fists. 'You just seem to not want to...'

'Oh.'

'I mean, I know we said we'd try it, but, we never said anything was permanent. Clearly, you don't want this anymore...'

'I haven't said that!' Ginny protested.

'You looked pretty friendly with Dean earlier,' Harry muttered mulishly.

'Because we're friends,' Ginny sighed. 'I have a history with him. And just because I'm with you, it doesn't erase that. Dean's just a friend. And the Keeper of my Quidditch team. If you'd wanted to be friends with Cho, who am I stop you?'

'It's not supposed to be this hard!' Harry burst out.

'What's not?'

'This! You, me! It's not supposed to be this hard!' Harry slid off the boulder and began to pace in front of it. 'I was supposed to see you and... And...'

'And what?'

Harry glared at her for a moment before he grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed her. When he tore his mouth away from hers, he could scarcely breathe. 'That...'

Ginny blinked. 'Oh.'

'God, Ginny, you're killing me,' Harry said hoarsely, his hands still clenched around her arms. 'But if you tell me to go, I will.'

Ginny's mouth opened but nothing came out.

'Right...' Harry let go of Ginny and his head bowed dejectedly. He turned to walk to the gates of Hogwarts, intending to Apparate back to Devon and the Burrow. 'Sorry to have bothered you.'

He'd walked no more than a few steps when he felt a hand snatch a handful of the back of his coat. 'Don't go.'