The First Day

'You shouldn't have to.' Harry settled her back against him. 'You're not my mum. You're my...'

'What?'

'Girlfriend...?' Harry glanced at Ginny. 'If you want to be...'

Ginny reached back and patted Harry's thigh. 'I'll think about it...'

*****

'I guess I deserve that,' Harry sighed.

'What?'

'Waiting.'

Ginny carefully shifted in the hammock, so she faced Harry. 'It's not that I don't trust you or anything...' She bit her lip as Harry visibly flinched. 'I do trust you,' she said. 'It sort of depends on you.'

Harry's brow furrowed in confusion. 'How does it depend on me...?'

'You're going to be an Auror for real,' Ginny stated. 'And even though he's gone, there will always be people who were dropped on their heads as babies, or should have been hugged more as small children, or are just downright psychopaths. If we're together, and someone has it in for you, I'm still a target, just like before,' Ginny explained. 'So, my question to you is: can you manage to do both - have me and do your job?'

Harry felt his pulse begin to race uncomfortably in his ears. 'I don't know,' he admitted slowly. 'I've never had a relationship I care about where he's not hanging over my head. Not with anyone. It's sort of unexplored territory. I don't really know how to act.'

'That's why I'm going to think about it,' Ginny said. 'I can't put myself through that again.'

Harry stiffened slightly. 'Yeah, I get it.'

Ginny took his chin in one hand and forced him to look at her. 'Don't be a prat about this and think that I don't love you,' she told him forcefully. 'I can't go into this with you again, and have that thought niggling in the back of my head that something will come up, and you're going to let me go, because it's for the best.'

Harry nodded stiffly, biting his lip against the stinging in his eyes. 'Yeah...' he whispered hoarsely. He climbed out of the hammock. 'I'll see you at dinner,' he said with forced casualness, before heading for the end of the paddock.

Ginny sighed and threw her arm over her eyes, shielding it from the sunshine that snaked its way through the leaves overhead. She knew when Harry got into a mood, it was best to leave him be for a bit. He wouldn't listen to anyone right now.

*****

Ron poked his head into Ginny's room. 'Hey, Mum says dinner's ready.' Ginny nodded, closed her book, and threw it on her desk.

'What's got you in such a strop?' Ron asked.

'I told Harry that I wanted to wait a bit before getting back into a relationship with him,' Ginny said, pulling a brush through her hair with unnecessary force, yanking out several hairs, making Ron grimace in pain. 'He got upset,' she finished succinctly.

Ron refrained from heaving a sigh and slipped into the room, closing the door firmly behind him. 'What did you say?'

Ginny pulled her hair back into a tight ponytail. 'I said that I didn't want to risk starting it up, then having to stop it again, because he thinks things might get dangerous,' she huffed.

'Right,' Ron said quietly. 'You could have said that differently.'

Ginny slammed her brush down on the desk and spun to Ron. 'Since when did you become the relationship expert?'

'Never said I was. But I've known Harry longer than you,' Ron told her. He pulled out the chair from her desk and straddled it, resting his arms across the back. 'He probably thinks you don't want him.'

'But that's not true,' Ginny objected.

'I know, Gin. But Harry's never believed people actually want him. And then you say something like that...' Ron shrugged. 'Just feeds his insecurities about people.'

'That's not what I meant,' Ginny groaned in exasperation.

'Yeah, I know. But that's what he thinks.' Ron stood up and pushed the chair back under the desk.

'Well, what am I supposed to do?' snapped Ginny.

'I don't know,' Ron admitted. 'Usually, Hermione's the one who could get through to him.' Ron opened the door and looked down at Ginny. 'Don't sell yourself short, though, Gin. You've been able get through to him when nobody else could. Remember that Christmas when Dad was in the hospital?'

'I wish I could forget it.'

'Out of all of us, you were the only one who got him to stop hiding in that room. I know you love him, but Harry's got a really twisted sense of logic when it comes to people. Magic, he's pretty good at it. Relationships, not so much.'

'Nobody ever said it would be this complicated,' Ginny sighed, trailing down the stairs after Ron.

'Yeah, well, you're dealing with Harry. He's not like normal blokes.'

'This was so much easier with Michael or Dean.'

Ron snorted. 'That's because you didn't care about them.'

Ginny grabbed Ron's wrist before he went into the kitchen. 'Since when do you know so much about people? Normally you have the sensitivity of a plank of wood.'

'People do grow up you know,' Ron said, rolling his eyes.

'And what makes you think I didn't care about Michael or Dean?'

'I just meant that you didn't love them. When you ended things with them, you didn't seem too fussed about it.'

'I was, too!' Ginny protested.

'No, you weren't,' Ron scoffed. 'Why were you with them, anyway?'

'None of your damn business,' she retorted.

Ron scowled down at his sister. 'You didn't... You know... Did you?' he asked, slowly turning bright red as he did so.

'No,' Ginny huffed in an offended tone. 'What do you think I am?' she asked impatiently. 'Don't answer that.'

Ron worked his wrist free from Ginny's grasp and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. 'Look, I hate to sound like one of those bloody smut novels you think you hide from Mum, but if it's meant to be with Harry...' Ron shrugged with one shoulder. 'Don't give up on him, okay? He really does love you.' Ginny nodded and went into the kitchen, letting the door swing shut behind her. Ron looked up to the landing on the first floor. 'How long have you been standing there?' he asked.

Harry came down the stairs, looking more than a bit groggy. 'Long enough,' he mumbled, running a hand through his disordered hair.

Ron regarded Harry thoughtfully as he walked down the stairs. 'You know she wouldn't get so mad at you if she didn't care.'

Harry squinted at Ron, still wrapped in a haze from his nap. 'That's a comforting thought,' he yawned.

*****

Harry crept down the stairs, holding his breath as he passed by Molly and Arthur's bedroom on the fourth floor. He'd waited for Ron to fall asleep, then slipped from the camp bed, and tiptoed down the stairs. He winced as the stairs screeched discordantly under his bare feet. 'Bloody hell,' he mouthed. Ginny had told him during that brief, but happy time, they were together at school, that Molly and Arthur had charmed the stairs to creak when Bill was about fourteen or fifteen. He knocked softly on Ginny's bedroom door, seeing the band of light in the crack under the door. He knew she was still awake. She opened the door, a book with a lurid cover dangling from one hand. 'Can we talk for a bit?' he asked, shifting from foot to foot uncomfortably. Ginny took a step back and opened the door wider. Harry took a few steps inside the room. He'd only been in Ginny's room twice before - his birthday last year and the night a couple of weeks ago he'd talked to Molly and Arthur. It was a strange sensation, to say the least. Ginny closed the door and returned to her position on her bed, tucking her feet under her. Harry glanced around and realized there were only two places to sit, besides the floor: the chair at her desk, or the bed next to her. Flushing, he pulled the desk chair out and plopped into it, rubbing his hands nervously over his flannel covered thighs.

Ginny idly fanned the pages of her book, the papery whispers loud in the silent room, rubbing the embossed cover under her fingertips. After several minutes ticked by, she glanced at Harry. 'Is there something you wanted?' she asked softly.

Harry jumped at the sound of Ginny's voice. 'Uh, yeah...' He pulled his feet into the seat of the chair and began to worry the hem of his pajama bottoms between his thumb and forefinger. 'I was thinking about what you said earlier.' He looked at Ginny, hoping for some sort of signal from her, but her face remained smoothly neutral. 'Right, well, I mean, you're going back to school in a few weeks, and we won't be able to see each other, except for Hogsmeade weekends, Quidditch games, or holidays.'

Ginny set her book down and frowned. 'What are you going on about?'

'Maybe we can just see where things go...' Harry twisted a finger in the hem of his pajamas. 'I don't know how to do this,' he confessed, talking to his toes. 'I'm willing to try,' he said in a low voice. 'Balancing you and the job.' He stood up and pushed the chair back into its place. 'G'night.'

*****

Andromeda set a carrycot on the kitchen table and swung a bag filled with clean nappies, bottles, and a few spare outfits next to it. 'Are you sure you're ready for this?' she asked Harry, who held Teddy with a slight look of fear on his face.

'Absolutely,' Harry said with more confidence than he felt.

George watched Harry jiggle the baby nervously. 'They can smell fear, you know.' A corner of his mouth turned up as Harry turned a shade paler.

Andromeda looked at Harry apprehensively. 'Maybe I should stay here for a while longer,' she suggested.

'We'll be fine,' Molly said reassuringly. She took Andromeda's elbow and began to walk to the door. 'Let me walk you down to the Apparition point.' She looked over her shoulder at Ginny and gave the unsuspecting Harry a significant glance. Ginny nodded and moved a little closer to Harry and Teddy. Molly and Andromeda strolled down the length of the paddock. 'It'll be all right, Andromeda. I'll be here the entire time.'

'I could use the afternoon to get a few things done,' Andromeda confessed, with an almost guilty tone to her voice. 'You forget how exhausting it all is. It's been a long time since I've had to take care of a baby.'

'You know you can call us any time if you need someone to take Teddy for a few hours. Harry will be thrilled to spend some time with him.'

Andromeda cast a doubtful glance back at the house. 'He looked like he's about to pass out,' she commented.

Molly snorted. 'All men are like that when they have to take care of a baby the first time. The first time I left Bill alone with Arthur, when I got home, Arthur was in tears.'

A fleeting smile drifted over Andromeda's face. 'Ted was afraid he would pat Nymphadora too hard when he burped her. The first time, he barely touched her back.' Andromeda released a shaky breath. 'I'll be back about five, then.'

'You'll stay for dinner,' Molly said. Andromeda nodded, and touched Molly's arm, then Disapparated.

Molly slowly walked back to the house, thinking they ought to start inviting Andromeda over more often. In all the confusion and upheaval after the battle and funerals, she had forgotten that Andromeda was probably terribly lonely. Andromeda had lost more than a son. Nearly her entire family had been wiped out, save for her grandson.

She opened the kitchen door, Teddy's whimpers reaching her ears. 'You're going to need to change his nappy,' Ginny told Harry.

'I'm sorry. What?' Harry asked, perplexed.

Ginny grabbed the bag from the table and led Harry into the sitting room. She spread a blanket over the sofa and took Teddy from Harry's arms. She lay Teddy on the blanket and began to undo his bodysuit. Ginny looked up at the gobsmacked expression on Harry's face. 'Right,' she said. 'I'll walk you through it. It's easy.' She tugged on Harry's hand until he knelt on the floor in front of Teddy, whose wide grey eyes regarded Harry and Ginny solemnly. 'Okay, before you unpin the nappy, you want to put a clean one over Teddy.

Harry dutifully unpinned the nappy, and reached into the bag for a clean one. He turned his gaze to Ginny, the clean nappy dangling from his hand. 'Why?' he asked, just as a stream of urine sprayed over his face.

Ginny fizzed with laughter at the shocked look of horror that slowly spread over Harry's features. 'That's why.'

'Ugh.' Harry used the clean nappy in his hand to wipe his dripping face. He looked suspiciously at Teddy who gurgled at him, windmilling his fists. 'You did that on purpose,' he told his godson. Harry dropped the damp cloth to the floor. He pulled another one from the bag and draped it over Teddy's bare bottom half. 'Now what?'

'Grab his ankles in one hand, and lift his bottom up, then slide the wet nappy from under him,' Ginny instructed. Harry gingerly slid the wet wad of material away from Teddy and dropped on top of the other nappy with a moue of distaste. 'Now put a clean one on him. And not the one you've got over him. He can still get you.' Harry took a deep breath, and approached his task with a look no less fearful than he'd worn going to Potions class. 'Lift his bottom up again, and put the clean nappy under him. Good. Pull the end up between his legs, take the one over him off, and pin it.' Harry eyed the large pins and poking his tongue between his teeth, carefully pinned the nappy's edges together, trying not to accidentally stick Teddy, sure if he did, Andromeda would never leave him with Harry again.

The nappy pinned into place, Harry lifted Teddy from the blanket, grinning in absurd pride over his first nappy change, watching as the nappy slowly slid down Teddy's chubby legs, to land in a heap on the blanket. 'What did I do wrong? I did everything you said to do.' Sighing he laid Teddy back down on the blanket, and began the laborious process all over again.

'You need to make sure the nappy's on good, so it doesn't fall off like that,' Ginny said, smothering a grin.

Harry pulled the sides of the nappy firmly across Teddy's belly, once more, carefully pinning them into place. 'How do you know this? Are girls just born with some sort of instruction manual in their hands?' he said in an aggrieved tone. 'It's like you already have all the bloody answers!'

'Not really,' Ginny said, as she snapped the bodysuit closed. 'I've just done this before.'

'I'm going to be rubbish at this,' Harry moaned.

'Harry, it's one nappy. It takes practice. Like everything else.'

'I suppose.' He gestured to the pile of soiled cloth. 'What do we do with those?'

'Scouring charm works.'

Harry pointed his wand at the wet nappies and muttered, 'Scourgify.'

Ginny smirked and scooped up the nappies. 'Get used to doing that.'

*****

Harry flopped into bed with a muffled groan. He didn't think spending an afternoon with a four-month old baby would be so exhausting.

He was wrong.

He didn't see how Andromeda managed by herself. He'd barely survived with the combined efforts of Ginny, Molly, and Ron. It tore at Harry a little, every time he looked at Teddy, to see Remus' eyes looking back at him. It made him realize what people who had known his mother must have felt every time they looked at him. For the first time, Harry allowed himself to feel a small measure of pity for Snape. He could only imagine what it felt like for Snape to see his mother's eyes looking at him with such contempt every day.

'All right, mate?' Ron asked sympathetically.

'No.' Harry curled on his side and pulled his glasses off. 'That was the most grueling day I've had in ages.'

'It wasn't that bad.' Ron pulled his trainers off and dropped them on the floor.

'I suppose not,' Harry replied. 'But I didn't think he'd go through that many nappies in one afternoon.'

'You got really good at it.'

Harry rubbed his eyes. He hadn't slept well last night. 'You would too, if you'd had to change that many,' he muttered. 'Every bloody bottle just went right through him...' His voice trailed off as he fell asleep.

Ron pried Harry's glasses from his hand and placed them on the windowsill. He pulled the quilt from his bed and spread it over Harry. It hadn't just been the physical exertion that wore him out. Teddy was a living, breathing reminder of Remus, and Ron could see how difficult it had been. Ron knew Harry well enough to recognize the signs of emotional distress - the strain around his eyes, the smile that seemed a little too forced to be genuine, the slight underlying tension in his voice.

Ron thought it had to get better. It had to. He began to hope there would be the day when they all realized it was okay for them to be happy about something.

'Ron?' George craned his head around the door of Ron's bedroom. 'You busy?'

'No.' Ron shook his head.

'He going to be all right?' George gestured to Harry with a jerk of his chin.

'Yeah. Long day.'

'Right.' George slipped into the room, and sat on the edge of Ron's bed. 'Hey, listen, Ginny's birthday next week, I thought you and I could go in together and get her a good broom.'

'That's a good idea. But there's a problem.'

George looked stricken for a moment. 'What?'

'I don't exactly have any money right now,' Ron stated.

'Of course you do,' George said softly, so as not to wake Harry.

'Where? I haven't seen it.'

'You're in with me on the shop,' George said, as if that explained everything.

Ron shook his head. He got up from the bed and grabbed George's hand, dragging him down the stairs to Percy's old room. 'No, I'm not. I work for you. I expect to be treated like any other employee.'

George looked at Ron with a flash of hurt in his eyes. 'But I thought you wanted to go in as a full partner?'

Ron felt the blood drain from his face. 'I can't,' he said harshly. 'Not yet...' He plucked at his t-shirt. 'I want to earn it, all right? On my own merits.'

George nodded. 'Okay. I'll sit down tomorrow and figure out what I owe you for the last two weeks.' He had to force the words past the lump in his throat. He hated being confronted with the fact that Fred was truly not coming back. Every day something else reminded him Fred was gone. When Ron started working in the shop, he could pretend for a moment Fred was working with him again. 'I'll also put it in writing and we'll both sign it. Actually, we'll need to have Harry sign it, too. He owns about twenty percent of the shop.'

'That's fine,' Ron said, opening the door to go back up to his room.

George cleared his throat. 'Ron?'

'Yeah?'

'Cleansweep's got a new broom out. I checked it out in -Which Broomstick. It's not too dear, and it ought to work all right for her for school. She ought to have a good broom, being Quidditch captain this year and all.'

'They have it at Quality Quidditch Supplies?'

George nodded. 'Yeah. I have one on hold. We can get it Monday morning. You know Mum's going to have a big party for Gin that night.'

Ron slapped George's shoulder. 'It's a brilliant idea, George. She'll love it.'

George watched Ron leave the room, closing the door softly behind him.