There'll Be Bluebirds

Teddy plodded into the Potions classroom, a sullen expression on his face. He dropped his bag on the floor next to a chair and slumped into it, waiting. Professor Williams came sailing from his office, a sheaf of parchment in his hands. 'Ah, very good, Teddy, right on time.'

Teddy grunted a reply, rummaging through his bag for parchment and a usable quill. He examined the point of a possible candidate, then unscrewed a bottle of ink. 'What do you want me to write?'

'You're not doing lines,' Williams told him, flicking his wand at the supply cabinet. 'We're going to brew a Wit-Sharpening potion properly.'

Teddy scowled at the cauldron. 'I'd rather do lines, if you don't mind, Professor.'

'I do mind,' Williams said sharply. 'I know you can brew a Wit-Sharpening potion, but you keep getting distracted by something.' He shoved the ginger root toward Teddy. 'Now. Shred the ginger root into fine slivers.' Teddy grudgingly took the ginger root and picked up his silver knife and began to carefully peel the knobbly root. 'Have you given any thought to what you might want to do after you finish school?' Williams asked conversationally, scanning a piece of parchment that Teddy recognized as their quiz from the other day.

Glancing up from the freshly peeled ginger root, Teddy shrugged. 'Not really.' He snorted as he began to carefully cut the ginger into smaller pieces. 'Obviously nothing involving an N.E.W.T. in Potions...'

'Why?'

Teddy raised a sardonic brow and gestured at the cauldron. 'Have you seen me at all in class? Total disaster.'

'It's not that bad,' Williams chuckled. 'It would help tremendously if you took a moment to slow down and pay attention to what you're doing.'

'I suppose...' Teddy fanned out the ginger root for Williams' approval. 'I mean, how bad would it be if I failed my O.W.L.?'

'I can assure you it won't be the end of the world. Professor Longbottom didn't earn an N.E.W.T. in Potions,' Williams said. 'He's the first to admit he's complete rubbish at potion-brewing. But, he's brilliant at what he does.' Williams gave Teddy a nod of approval at the ginger root, so Teddy lit a fire under the cauldron. 'And if I move Greyson to a table in the front of the room, he won't be able to talk about you in your ear while you're trying to concentrate.' Williams added. 'We ought to be able to at least get you to an Acceptable in your O.W.L.'

Teddy dumped a handful of scarab beetles into a mortar and began to grind them into fine powder. 'I don't want to be the only one in my family that doesn't earn an N.E.W.T.,' he admitted. 'My mum did, because she was an Auror, and my grandmother met my grandfather in their N.E.W.T.-level class...'

'And your father?' Williams asked.

Teddy's shoulders tensed visibly and the pestle stilled momentarily. 'I don't know,' he said quietly, as he began to grind the scarab beetles once more. 'No one's ever said. If they know at all. It's not as if he would have been able to use it anyway,' he added, a hint of bitterness under his voice. He began to tilt the contents of the mortar into the cauldron, but a casual flick of Williams' wand stopped him. Teddy tried to turn his wrist, but it wouldn't budge.

'Have you checked your ginger root?' Williams asked calmly.

'Erm...'

Williams jabbed his wand at Teddy, releasing his hand. 'It ought to be quite mushy before you add the beetles. Prod it with your wand.'

Teddy set the mortar down with a put-upon sigh and poked his wand into the cauldron. The ginger root didn't give much. 'It's not ready yet...' He glared at the cauldron. This was why he hated Potions so much. Too much waiting and watching. Too much patience. He preferred action, to be able to do something and see an immediate result. He thought Remus must have earned an Outstanding in Potions. From what he'd read so far of the journals, the man had the patience of a proverbial saint.

Poking his ginger root once again to test its consistency, Teddy mentally tallied the months between the last entry he'd read from to the day his parents were married. It was slightly more than eighteen more months. Maybe patience had nothing to do with it, and Dad was being overly gallant to keep Mum at arms' length like that.

*****

Remus clutched his worn cardigan around himself and hunched his shoulders as he bid his tutoring student farewell, and tucked the envelope with his week's payment into the pocket of his trousers. As he walked down the street, he started guiltily, realizing it had been several days since he'd last seen Sirius. He turned casually at the corner of the library building and ducked behind it, quickly glancing around for any would-be observers before he Apparated to number twelve Grimmauld Place.

He tapped the doorknob with his wand and slipped inside, neatly dodging the umbrella stand and managing to avoid waking Mrs. Black's portrait. 'Sirius?' he called softly, once he'd passed the portrait. He waited for a moment for a reply, but none was forthcoming. Remus closed his eyes, and inhaled deeply, attempting to scent Sirius amid the miasma of the decaying house. His nose wrinkled at the odor of unwashed skin and stale firewhisky that seemed to be strongest in the sitting room. Remus made his way to the first floor and pushed open the door to the drawing room. Sirius was curled in the sofa, staring sightlessly into the flames of the fireplace, holding a half-full bottle of firewhisky, an old issue of the Prophet lying on the floor. Remus didn't need to read the headlines to know what it contained. 'Are you all right?'

Sirius nodded, swallowing heavily. Remus bent to pick up the abandoned newspaper, smoothing the creases from it. Antonin Dolohov's face glared up at him, along with Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange, Augustus Rookwood, and others. He remembered that bright summer day, when he had Apparated into the meadow with Sirius and Mad-Eye, just as the first Killing curse hit Gideon Prewett. 'Tell...' Sirius passed a shaking hand over his eyes. 'Tell Dumbledore when the time comes, I want to be let out of this damned prison. So I can wipe the smirk off Dolohov's face myself.' He looked up at Remus from under layers of matted hair. 'I keep seeing it. Every time I try to sleep, all I can see is Gideon dying, then Fabian. Then the questions start coming. What if Frank had stayed with them? What if we'd come a minute sooner? Like being in bloody Azkaban again.' Sirius lifted the bottle to his mouth and gulped several swallows of the amber liquid. 'I don't care about the others,' he ground out between gritted teeth. 'But Dolohov is mine.'

He sat up and snatched the paper from Remus' hands. 'Fudge just couldn't resist pulling me back into it, could he? Calling me their bloody leader for Merlin's sake. As if any of them would have followed me.' He crumpled up the paper and thrust it into the fire. 'Arsewipe should know my dear cousin Bellatrix wouldn't even spit on me if I was on fire to put me out.' Sirius' face twisted as he watched the paper burn to ashes.

'Sirius, you know he's just parroting what's been said about you since you were arrested. It gives them a scapegoat,' Remus sighed patiently. 'And frankly, mutt, you're not that much of a leader,' he added, in an attempt to inject some levity into the conversation.

'Thanks,' Sirius said dryly.

Remus dropped to the sofa next to him. 'Said it before, you're much too self-centered.'

Sirius stared at Remus for a long moment, then pushed himself to his feet. 'Wait here. I think there might be some salt in the kitchen.'

'Why do you need salt?'

'So you can rub it into my wounds.'

Remus rolled his eyes. 'Please.' Sirius flopped back down to the sofa, and while he didn't smile, his expression had lightened somewhat. 'What was it between you and Gideon? You never said...'

Sirius froze. 'What makes you think there was something between Gideon and me?' he asked, his voice tight.

'I saw the way you reacted when we took their bodies home,' Remus said quietly.

'More than friends with benefits, but not quite the love of my life,' Sirius said quietly. 'Closer in some ways than you and Prongsie were to me, but not nearly as close at the same time.' He shrugged managed a crooked half-smile. 'It wasn't the best time to get involved with someone, but it did make it bearable.'

'Yes, it does,' Remus agreed, a small smile playing over his lips.

Sirius' mouth opened and he stared at Remus before it snapped shut. He gazed at Remus for several long moments. 'It's about bloody time,' he grumbled. 'But if you break her heart, I will have to hurt you,' he added.

*****

7 February 1996

I wonder why Sirius never told James and me about his sexuality. I'm hardly in a position to judge. Not that I would have in the first place, mind. It's not as if James and I didn't know by the end of our third year, as it was. Did he think he couldn't trust us enough to tell us? Was that why he ran away from home? We never could get him to say.

I knew he was with Gideon more and more as the war raged on and by the time the Prewett twins were killed, we each thought the other was feeding information about James and Lily to the Death Eaters. But I'm so blind, I thought they were just indulging in a common love of pranking Lucius Malfoy together. Mostly because I didn't see the point of becoming involved with someone during such a terrible time, I didn't imagine anyone else would want to. Especially Sirius, because he never took anything seriously (pardon the awful pun, but it's unavoidable in this circumstance). I suppose I was wrong about him after all. It wouldn't have been the first time.

*****

'How are things at Hogwarts?' Kingsley asked Minerva, once the usual business of the Order had concluded.

'Do you really want to know?' she retorted tartly.

'I would,' Arthur interjected. 'None of the children will write to us.'

'You can't blame them, Arthur,' Tonks said around a mouthful of her sandwich. 'She's tried to intercept their post as it is. I'm surprised she's not started having their letters read and parcels searched before they're delivered to them.'

'Hush, Nymphadora,' Minerva admonished lightly. 'You'll give her ideas.'

'Just by speaking it aloud?' Emmaline chuckled.

'Because she's got ears like a bat,' Minerva responded. 'I swear a mouse can sneeze three floors away, and she'll be there offering it a lacy handkerchief.'

'What does the decree say again?' Sirius asked from his corner of the table, enveloped in shadows.

'Staff can't talk about anything that's not directly related to their subject.' Minerva's mouth thinned ominously.

Sirius' face lit up in a slow smile. 'Use it,' he said. 'You've got two of the best pranksters since, well, me. And you won't be able to tell them to stop or handle anything they can unleash.'

'You can't just condone that sort of behavior,' Molly gasped, turning to Minerva.

'She won't,' Sirius interrupted. 'But she can't tell them to stop. Not according to the decree. Between Fred and George, they'll be able to create enough chaos between the two of them to create a distraction. They want to join the Order, don't they? Why not let them unofficially?'

'Dealing with them will keep her distracted,' Kingsley said slowly. 'She won't have time to try and find out things about the Order.'

'Think about all the testing they can do for their joke shop,' Sirius wheedled.

'I remember the kind of mayhem they could cause their first year,' Tonks said brightly. 'Never knew two eleven-year olds could make such a ruckus before that. Kept Filch distracted so he never had the time to actually catch the rest of us doing anything.'

Molly bit her lip. 'Ron, Harry, and Hermione will have to study for their O.W.L.s in all that,' she said doubtfully. 'And the twins have got N.E.W.T.s...'

'I can have a bit of a chat with them about just how far they can go,' Minerva mused thoughtfully. 'And it won't take any prodding at all to persuade Peeves to join them.'

'The circumstances have to be right,' Remus muttered. 'It can't look as if Dumbledore's involved in any way. His credibility as the Head of Hogwarts must be preserved.' He gave Sirius an apologetic glance.

'But I can still alert the twins...' Minerva's face took on a calculating expression. 'At some point, she's going to try to have Dumbledore removed. Whether it's through the board of governors or one of those damned decrees.'

'How can you be so sure?' Mad-Eye growled.

'She's a power-hungry, ambitious, grasping toad of woman,' Minerva spat. 'All those decrees are akin to putting a frog in a cauldron of water, then slowly heating it up. Most people won't realize she's trying to take over Hogwarts until it's too late and it's already done. We're just going to have to be patient.'

'Can you involve the other teachers?' Sirius asked, a glint in his eyes. 'Or at least let them in on the plan to unleash the full fury of Fred and George Weasley on Umbitch, just so they're not punished if caught?'

A slow smile spread over Minerva's face. 'Most of the teachers can be trusted to, ah, look the other way. If nothing else, it will make Ministerial control of the school look like the worst idea since someone thought charming a Quaffle to explode after a set amount of time would be a good idea,' she sniffed. She caught Molly's worried expression. 'We'll keep them out of trouble,' Minerva assured her. 'She won't be able to put her grubby paws on Fred or George, even if she tries. You have my word.' She pushed her chair back. 'I must get back to the school.'

It was a signal for the other to take their leave. They slipped from the kitchen in ones and twos. 'I'll come back round later,' Remus murmured to Sirius, who snorted and pushed his hair from his face, as he frankly studied Tonks, who was washing the plate she'd used for her overdue dinner.

'Come back before tomorrow and I'll smack you about the head and shoulders,' he said in an undertone. Sirius checked his watch and chuckled. 'It's Valentine's Day.'

Remus recoiled in horror. 'You're joking.'

'I would never joke about a holiday designed to put that particular look on the face of another bloke,' Sirius said in mock-seriousness. 'Besides, you haven't had much time to yourself since the breakout last month.'

'All right?' Tonks asked in concern, drying her hands on a tea towel. 'You look like you're about to be sick...' She drew her wand and Summoned a basin from the dresser and held it out to Remus.

'I'm fine,' Remus muttered. 'Come on, let's get you home.' He gathered his traveling cloak and held out Tonks' coat. 'Good night, Padfoot...'

'Good night, Moony,' Sirius replied in a sing-song tone.

Tonks waited until they were safely out of the house and halfway to the Underground station before asking, 'What was that about?'

Remus sighed and tightly wrapped his cloak around himself. 'You don't expect anything tomorrow, do you?'

'You mean other than the sun rising in the morning and setting in the evening?' she quipped. 'I don't expect much of anything beyond that these days.'

'It's the fourteenth,' Remus said, his face settling into lines of distaste.

'Is it?' Tonks replied disinterestedly. 'Hm.'

'What?'

'Never been too chuffed about it all, you see.'

'Really?'

'Yes. Walked by Madam Puddifoot's once in Hogsmeade and nearly lost my lunch.' Tonks shuddered delicately. 'Can't stand that sort of rubbish.'

'A woman after my own heart,' Remus murmured. 'Can't stand it, either. As if I'd need a holiday to tell you...'

'Tell me what?' Tonks prompted. She suddenly stopped. 'No, don't...' She looked around the street uneasily. 'Let's get down to the platform,' she muttered. 'Feels like I'm being watched...'

Remus glanced around them, eyes narrowed. 'I don't see anybody...' he said, but he followed her down the stairs.

'Ever since the breakout,' Tonks began as she settled on a bench to wait for the train, 'it feels like I'm being followed.' She looked at something on the other side of the platform. 'Especially when I'm with you,' she added reluctantly.

'I see...' Remus stood up and began to walk toward the stairs, but Tonks caught a handful of his cloak in one of her hands.

'I'm not saying it's your fault,' she hissed, lunging after him. 'Damn it, Remus, sit back down!' She glared at him angrily. 'I'm just saying I get it! All right? I get it! Why you're worried about being seen with me in public, and why you think it's a bad idea of us to even do what we manage to do now!'

'Dora, shhhhh...' Remus attempted to calm her. They were attracting the notice of the others on the platform. Her lips clamped shut and she took a deep breath, massaging her temples.

'It's just with you being...' Tonks fished for a word that wouldn't draw unwelcome attention. 'What you are,' she finally said. 'And my parents being who they are, I feel like there's a rather large target on my back.'

Remus nodded. 'You know what Mad-Eye would say about all this?'

'That we'd have to stop seeing each other?'

He shook his head. 'Well, probably, but the first thing he'd say...'

'Constant vigilance!' Tonks supplied.

The train rumbled into the station and Remus stood up. 'It's up to you,' he told Tonks as she boarded the train. He knew she wouldn't willingly walk away from the nascent relationship, but he felt as if it was ending before it even started.

*****

14 February 1996

I've always wanted Dora to see things from my point of view about our relationship. And now that she does, I'm not so sure it's what I wanted from her. She's usually the optimistic one. I need her to hope this is going to work out.

I wonder if she'll do what Sirius did and start to pull away from me, little by little, because she'll find she's unable to trust me. I can picture someone like Dolohov going after Dora because she's flaunting Wizarding law and consorts with what's legally a beast. Although, in truth, I'd be more worried about her aunt Bellatrix. She might not kill Dora outright, but she'd torture her, just like she did Frank and Alice for nothing more than her enjoyment.

Before the breakout, that was just something of an idea. That it could happen. But now, it's a distinct possibility.

On the lighter side of things, I'd love to be under a Disillusionment spell in Minerva's office when she tells Fred and George they can wreck havoc without getting into trouble.

*****

Flush with pleasure, Teddy ran up the stairs from the Potions classroom and pelted into the corridor off the Great Hall. He skidded to a stop in front of the portraits of his parents. 'I did it!' he crowed. 'I brewed a Wit-Sharpening potion!' There was soot streaked across his cheeks, and his robes bore several tiny holes from sparks when the potion had exploded during his first attempt. 'It only took three hours, but I DID IT!'

'Lupin?' McGonagall rounded the corner. 'Who are you talking to?'

Teddy's pink cheeks reddened further. 'Erm...'

McGonagall's eyes flicked toward the wall. 'Oh, I see...' she breathed. 'It's past curfew, young man. You ought to be in your dormitory.'

I just got out of detention with Professor Williams,' he stammered.

She shook herself slightly. 'Did Professor Williams give you a note so you could avoid another detention?'

'Yes, ma'am...' Teddy dug into his pocket and pulled out a slightly singed piece of parchment bearing Williams' scrawled signature with the time he'd released Teddy from detention.

'Well, you should go up to Gryffindor straightaway, then, Lupin.'

'Yes, ma'am...' Teddy threw one last look at his parents, then trudged out of the corridor, still brimming with glee that he had managed to successfully brew a potion.

McGonagall watched him leave then turned to the wall. 'He's doing very well, even if it's not in the way he expects to do. But that does happen quite often here, doesn't it?'